Do you separate meals for your kids?

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Replies

  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    We like to eat what we like to eat, and we're all a little bit different; and that's okay. So if it's okay for me to like different foods than my husband, then why wouldn't it be okay for my kids to like different foods than me?

    I don't tend to prepare different foods for my kids if those different foods are nuggets and fries, but my kids hate brussels sprouts, so really, how much trouble is if for me to make edamame or broccoli for them if I happen to want brussels sprouts? If I am making dinner that everyone likes, then obviously, the kids eat what I eat.

    We aren't a convenience food family, and we aren't a simple recipe family. I cook and eat some pretty exotic foods that aren't kid-friendly. I like to experiment in the kitchen, and sometimes, experimenting with goat and pakistani spices mandates a little different dinner for one of my kids just as much as cooking with tripe mandates cooking something different for the other one.
  • imacowgirl2
    imacowgirl2 Posts: 4 Member
    I don't want my children growing up fighting their weight like I have, so we have a few rules for meals at our house, mostly involving portion control. I strive to cook a moderately healthy meal that includes protein, at least one vegetable (usually two), and one fruit. We eat a lot of frozen and canned fruits and vegetables. Then going from there, our rules are as follows:

    1. Everyone must have at least two bites of protein and vegetable on their plate from the protein and vegetables that I cooked, and must eat those bites before any alternatives. Those bites must be eaten before seconds, thirds, etc on anything else.
    2. We strive for age-appropriate portion sizes for the initial filling of plates...if you're still hungry after your first serving, you're more than welcome to go back for more, but we encourage only taking half-portions for seconds, thirds, etc.
    3. If you don't like the vegetables served, after trying your two bites you're more than welcome to make yourself a salad to go with your main dish...but Mommy is not making a salad for you, or getting the ingredients out for you (or putting them away).
    4. If you don't like the main dish, you may make yourself a sandwich -- but no seconds on sandwiches. And Mommy is not making your sandwich either.

    I wouldn't want someone forcing me to repeatedly eat large amounts of foods I don't like...so why would I do that to my children? With this system, very rarely do they ever make themselves sandwiches -- they'll make themselves salads maybe once every month or two -- but they also love salads. Giving them guided control over their food choices makes meal times much less stressful, and is teaching them from a young age to make healthy food choices.

    Since we focus mostly on portion control, even on nights that a healthy supper just isn't happening, I dont feel the need to stress about an unhealthy supper -- yeah, they'll consume a few more calories eating take-out...but its only occasionally, and they're pretty good at eating just until they're full, so the repercussions are not long lasting.
  • kb1927
    kb1927 Posts: 32 Member
    As a former teacher, now SAHM, I asked questions just like the OP. Now that I am a mom, it is much easier to accept that parenting is much harder than it looks, and we all do things that we couldn't understand as just an observer of parenting. (So much cosleeping!)

    That being said, I cook what I cook. If the kids are hungry, they eat it. If not, they won't starve until the next time food is offered. It is not a bad thing to be hungry sometimes. We have not had many struggles over this because this is what we have always done, from the time they first started solids. We let them wean themselves (did baby led weaning), so I was never worried about them not getting enough. Some days they are more adventurous than others, and if there are a few foods that they really hate, they can eat around them. They're still young though, so who knows how this will change as they get older. I'd like to say this is what we'll always do, but I swore my kids wouldn't watch TV either. It didn't take very long for THAT to get thrown out the window.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,514 Member
    we have 2 options in my house... take it or leave it. ive always expected her to eat what i eat ( i dont cook with salt )

    i get sick of being told i should feed her kids food. when i asked what that was i was told chicken nuggets, chips, beans on toast etc

    my daughter has asbestos mouth, she LOVES scotch bonnet chilli's, shes been eating african food since she learnt to eat, my partner makes it with that much of a kick i struggle with it yet she thrives on it

    she eats plenty of snacks thou as well as high calorie medical shakes to keep her weight up as she has several disabilitys and medical problems. i just refuse to swap her healthy meals for nuggets and fries as suggested by one helpful dietitian
  • SairahRose
    SairahRose Posts: 412 Member
    I pretty much have the 80/20 rule, as I follow it myself.
    Yes, sometimes I will cook separate meals for the kids, and they might be nuggets and fries, or a burger - but everything is baked and not fried (except for the once a month takeout we have), and there is always some form of vegetable on the plate.
    We have a try everything on the plate rule. The 9 year old will typically eat everything, although there are some things he won't eat at all, and that's fine - I don't like some foods so why should he?
    The 2 year old is a different matter, and he's currently at a "I don't like fruit and veg" stage. Again, that's fine. He'll grow out of it, and they'll always be on his plate for him to try.
    With the 80/20 rule, it means that I can cook the same meals (with an exception sometimes of a gluten free alternative for me) and they'll eat it most of the time. If not, the youngest one will have something small to eat until he's older, while the older one will go without.
    Healthy snacks - fruit and veg - can be eaten at anytime, but 'junk' snacks are only allowed after school when dinner is at least 2 hours away.

    It works in our house.
  • Lohavio
    Lohavio Posts: 12 Member
    In our experience you can't make a kid like something. All our kids are everything in the beginning and then developed likes and dislikes. I thought I would be a eat what we eat person but turns out I'd rather my kids have good nutrition.
  • aggieali04
    aggieali04 Posts: 6 Member
    In our house, one meal is cooked. Eat it or be hungry until the next meal comes in a few hours. You'll survive! Mom (or Dad) isn't a short order cook so no, I do not make separate meals for my kids. I refuse to carry extra food for my kids everywhere and I think it's incredibly rude to go to dinner at someone else's home and bring food along (obviously that would never include kids with allergies or other issues where eating unfamiliar food is a true problem - just referring to some who carry along food for perfectly fine, healthy, normal 5 year olds that just are picky). My sons are 4.5 and 15 months and both eat a wide variety. Sure, they might prefer peas over brussels sprouts but if Mommy fixed bussels sprouts tonight, that's what is offered so that's what we eat that night. "You get what you get, don't throw a fit, and thank God for it!" is the mantra repeated in our home a lot.
  • kesciamuhammad
    kesciamuhammad Posts: 27 Member
    My husband and I raised three children eating whatever I prepared. Restaurant meals were an occasional treat, not an every other day event. I have always taken nutrition seriously (just like my mom) and there are few gifts more precious than our health and that of our families. Of course children have preferences, and I would take them into account, but I was always the adult making the decisions about what (and when) to eat. By the time my children were old enough to eat out with friends on their own, they had already developed good habits.
    Too many parents create problems for themselves by giving children too many choices at an inappropriate age. If children don't eat the food that's prepared, go to bed at bedtime, or complete their chores it's because their parents have given them a choice in the matter.
  • tnm7760
    tnm7760 Posts: 109 Member
    My kids eat what I serve. If I know they dislike something, I try to offer sides that they'll eat so I know they get at least a little food. They're "required" to take one bite of everything. But if they refuse I just remind them that they'll be hungry because there's no eating until the next snack or meal. But they're good eaters. We try to really praise them for trying new foods, even if they don't like them. I've ALWAYS included lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, etc. on their tacos, sandwiches, salads, etc. even when they were babies I'd tear up tiny bits of veggies. They don't even know you can request a sand which without tomatoes, lol. I try to not make "kid friendly" versions by omitting veggies or extras. I just put less on and make them MUCH smaller. They grew up eating like that so they don't know a difference. Sure, they sometimes throw tantrums about food, but I'm not a short order cool and they won't starve. I don't make an issue out if it. They eat fast food sometimes, I buy a few convenience foods, but they also eat a wide variety of real food as well as all sorts of ethnic/regional foods. But my kids don't decide what we eat around here, and I certainly don't do separate meals. But, I suppose if that works for some families then it doesn't bother me.
  • Cheeky_and_Geeky
    Cheeky_and_Geeky Posts: 984 Member
    I typically prepare prepare 3 separate meals, one for me, one for hubby, one for my toddler. We all eat together at the dinner table, with no tv. I'm trying to lose weight, husband is trying to gain weight, and daughter is a picky eater with food allergies. Luckily I'm a SAHM so I have the time to make different dishes for us with little problem.
  • rondaj05
    rondaj05 Posts: 497 Member
    I didn't read all the posts. At this stage of my life I have the last of 4 kids in my house and I'm over the food battles. Our kids were raised with manners and they know how to act at someone else's house. At OUR house they can eat what we've cooked or not. Makes no difference to me. There are other options available.

    There are many dynamics, for my house, it's been a blended home, I have 2 kids, my husband has 2. With 4 kids being raised in 3 households... we had to learn to pick our battles. We have always had "healthier" choices at our house but BOTH of our ex's used that against us in court battles accusing us of putting the kids "on diets". Obviously this is frowned on by courts and pediatricians... even tho we never ever put ANYONE on a DIET. We just chose to have a healthier lifestyle. The kids played their part, complaining to the other parent that we ONLY have diet food and salad and vegetables and don't buy chips and soda and various junk food.

    Because of the above, we always had options, we are eating THIS. If you don't like it... there's some kind of convenience crap available for you to fix for yourself.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    There seems to be a tremendous amount of totalitarian thinking and views here. Heaven forbid individual tastes are developed or catered to. It takes the same amount of time to cook 1 meal or 3. I just got done cooking three nice meals, at the same time. Everyone was happy.
  • Megais
    Megais Posts: 28 Member
    every meal at the moment. for lunch just now i made them steak pies. for myself a cucumber and some cherry tomatoes. i would have rathered the pie
  • imjolly
    imjolly Posts: 176 Member
    One meal for the family. I usually tried to make meals that everyone likes but sometimes it didn't work out that way. I would always have them try it and if they didn't like they would just make something else.

    My kids are older now so I'm definitely cooking different now that they are out of the house most of the year. When they are home they eat whatever I cook since they appreciate the fact that I cook and sick of college meals or ramen noodles. : )
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    There seems to be a tremendous amount of totalitarian thinking and views here. Heaven forbid individual tastes are developed or catered to. It takes the same amount of time to cook 1 meal or 3. I just got done cooking three nice meals, at the same time. Everyone was happy.

    Agreed. Our family enjoys food and we allow our kids to develop their own tastes. Our 8 year old will eat curry that will make most adults tear up, but she doesn't like tomato sauce. No biggie, she gets a different sauce on her pasta when we want tomato sauce. No need to get worked up about such minor things.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    There seems to be a tremendous amount of totalitarian thinking and views here. Heaven forbid individual tastes are developed or catered to. It takes the same amount of time to cook 1 meal or 3. I just got done cooking three nice meals, at the same time. Everyone was happy.

    Agreed. Our family enjoys food and we allow our kids to develop their own tastes. Our 8 year old will eat curry that will make most adults tear up, but she doesn't like tomato sauce. No biggie, she gets a different sauce on her pasta when we want tomato sauce. No need to get worked up about such minor things.

    +1
  • Losing_Sarah
    Losing_Sarah Posts: 279 Member
    I have one kid, a five year old daughter, and she eats what we eat. People are always so surprised by it, too. For example, a few of her favorite things to eat are roasted Brussels sprouts, asparagus, baked salmon, black beans, and salad. She has only had things like mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, and other "kid" foods a handful of times and it was usually fed to her at other people's homes.

    I agree in the thinking that those typical "kid" foods are junk, which is why we don't eat it often. She does like mac n cheese from a box when she's had it, but knows it's not the healthiest choice, she actually doesn't care for chicken nuggets and french fries, and when she has pizza it's homemade crust, homemade marinara, vegetables, and light on the cheese.

    We grow a large vegetable garden, and she is involved in every aspect of it, and feels a sense of pride when she helps harvest and then enjoys meals made from the food we grow. She loves raw asparagus, carrots, beans, and peas right out of the garden.

    Really, I could care less what other people do, but for parents to say their kids will only eat (insert processed "kid" food here) is totally on them. It was introduced to the child by them.

    Speaking of picky eaters: I work a couple nights a week and those night my hubby has to work I have my cousins 16 year old babysit for us. It happens that I work over dinner time, which means I have to make meals for them to eat after I leave. The 16 year old is the pickiest dang eater I've ever met. I am stuck with like two recipes that I would consider healthy meals that she will eat. It's kind of annoying, but she is a good babysitter, so I do what I have to do. (Seriously, her list of things she doesn't like is HUGE and rules out so many choices).
  • tracy2beme
    tracy2beme Posts: 7 Member
    We create one meal but we may have variations. My kids are now 23, 19, 13, and 12. They all went through their picky phases, all have different favorites and least favorites, but we never made completely separate meals. We would just offer alternatives.

    I was also a kid who grew up in a "eat everything on your plate whether you like it or not" family. My father liked liver and onions. I remember sitting there one night even after it made me sick. I sat in the dining room, at the table by myself until bedtime. I would never do that to my kids.

    When one of my sons was about 6, he got sick and threw up corn. He thought the corn made him sick - he actually had the flu - but in is mind, it was the corn because that's what came out. He wouldn't eat corn for over a year after that. We still made corn and it was there an we would suggest he try it, but for him, we would make green beans or carrots. I explained to him many times that it wasn't the corn that made him sick and eventually he tried it again and now he eats it all the time. He doesn't even remember not eating it.

    We do variations on spicy dishes, but that's for me. I have stomach issues sometimes from spicy things but the rest of my family loves hot and spicy. And it makes complete sense for adults who love spicier foods to make blander versions for very young children.

    If there's something new, I ask the kids to try it, but there's no rule that they have to. My daughter and I both love spinach and sushi rolls. The boys all hate them. But all of them have at least tried it.

    I would never make a healthy meal for the family but then make nuggets and fries just for the kids. Most kids will try to get parents to do something like that when they're little. When they were very little, we didn't allow them to manipulate food choices. If they didn't eat what was prepared, they wouldn't get an alternative and none of them starved. A couple of hours after dinner, they always had a healthy snack anyway. As they got older, they could make a sandwich if they didn't want dinner. Now, they all know how to cook and they can prepare their own foods if they don't like what's for dinner. Generally, that never happens. Most of the time now, they will cook for me and make my food different than theirs: less spicy, less calories, less fat.

    It's kind of nice how that's turned around.
  • Sharonks
    Sharonks Posts: 884 Member
    My kids always ate whatever I prepared except if I was having the craving for flaming hot green chile something. I don't expect a 3 yo to eat something like that. Even when my kids were old enough to cook they ate what was for dinner (except after the age of 12 they were often the cook). My step kids were allowed to be picky and so they are. Often it means cooking separate meals but since the only one left at home is 17 I feel she can cook her own. This last couple months, hubs has been the head cook. I usually will eat some amount of what he makes (I'm diabetic so sometimes can't eat what he makes) she eats if she likes it or makes herself a sandwich.
  • Jewlz280
    Jewlz280 Posts: 547 Member
    There seems to be a tremendous amount of totalitarian thinking and views here. Heaven forbid individual tastes are developed or catered to. It takes the same amount of time to cook 1 meal or 3. I just got done cooking three nice meals, at the same time. Everyone was happy.

    Agreed. Our family enjoys food and we allow our kids to develop their own tastes. Our 8 year old will eat curry that will make most adults tear up, but she doesn't like tomato sauce. No biggie, she gets a different sauce on her pasta when we want tomato sauce. No need to get worked up about such minor things.

    +1

    Thank you for some sanity. I was starting to wonder what is wrong with people! Just because kids are kids doesn't mean they don't have their own likes and tastes. And to me, it's CRAZY to expect them to eat it just because you made it. That's like going to a restaurant, ordering food, them jacking up the order and them saying you had to eat it anyways. No, NO I DO NOT. With that said, my son use to be super picky and is still on some foods. I tried that whole eat it or do without and my Mom said to me once, "So does that mean when you are eating somewhere else, YOU are going to eat or go without? Or will you leave and go have something you LIKE somewhere else?" She was right. From that point on, I refused to fight over food and give the kiddos food issues. So what we do now is that if we are having something and they want to try it, they try it. If they hate it, no problem. We move on. If they love it, GREAT! And we move on. The result? As my oldest has gotten older, he still has some quirks about food (he prefers one type of nugget to another, only vanilla Greek yogurt natural, Costco strawberry spread and wheat bread to name a few....), but he eats better than the vast majority of adults I know! When he was younger, I DID pack food -- because I would rather my child EAT than sit at a friends house and be miserable. And frankly, if you are THAT offended, then obviously you don't know me and aren't really my FRIEND. We can go almost anywhere and find something to eat. He loves pork chops, green beans, strawberries, whole wheat bread, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, real bacon, carrots with ranch, crab rangoon, steamed rice with soy sauce, refried beans, Mexican style rice.... Why? Because I quit forcing it. Most nights, we all have the same things maybe with a different sauce or a switched out veg/fruit. But there ARE times that I just breathe a sigh of relief that my kids love mostly healthy stuff and a decent variety. I really do think that the OP was referring to fams who ONLY feed their kids an exclusive short list of foods and I've seen that, too. But I can't help but think that as these kiddos get older and see friends, family, etc. eating other foods they will try them. You will have a few who won't (I know some super picky adults) but most will. And I refuse to be the food police and make them eat something they hate. I wouldn't eat it if I hated it and I won't make them do something I would never do.

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