Problems After You've Reached Your Goal

Yes totally agree with the size thing - I now have to force myself go to the smallest size in the store, but I still hold it up, frown, shake my head and say that would never fit me, its so small!! I then go to the changing room without showing the sales assistant the size in case she/he cracks up laughing that I would even contemplate trying such a small size.....and I am still amazed every time when the damned thing fits!!!! And with space!!! The "secret" to losing weight also annoys me as does the 'starving yourself' comments as well as people asking when my 'health kick' is over!!! Umm, this is for life people!!!!! )

thanks Dan for writing this up... even though i am not at my goal yet, i am experiencing a LOT of these things already.

I am struggling with hobo clothes, not being able to make the adjustment to grab a LARGE, not an XL (at least i am not going to the 2XLs anymore) and i frequently find myself wandering in the plus-size section despite the fact that my 16s are starting to get big on me and i am moving into 14s. (Havent worn a 14 in 22 years!!!!)

I get that "whats the secret" question all the time and i give the standard "diet and exercise" answer, to which most dont seem to believe. Then i offer up MFP info and some seem receptive but no one has joined yet. I even have a "business card" with my name and contact info on it that i write the MFP addy on the back... i carry a few with me in my purse, thats how often i need them! LOL

But i've had 2 things really distrurb me: one was a good friend asked me "but how do you feeeeeel? Are you feeling okay???" and then asked me 2 more times in the same convo. I left thinking "do i look sick?? do i look bad???" it REALLY bothered me. I dont want to be one of those ppl who take it to the extreme and not realize where to stop, but i am still 7 lbs OVER the 'healthy bmi range" for my height.... The other thing was when i was telling my (obese) sister about my grazing/mini-meal thru-out the day style of eating (it works for me!), she proceeded to give me a lecture about needing proper MEALS "3 squares" and that this site (MFP) is full of people with eating disorders and ppl trying to lose weight (and who are serious about it) are just as messed up in the head as a person with bulimia. That what i am doing is just as unhealthy as overeating because there are mental issues going on..... whatever........

I agree that things don't suddenly become "Perfect World" when we've reached our goal weight. Let me correct that: Perfect World doesnt come ever. Perhaps a moment in time, all things will be perfect, but we will propably be too busy enjoying ourselves to notice! lol

My favorite lately is people telling me they're eating healthy..... "I even started my day with a great big glass of OJ! Lots of vitamin C!"

Try to convince those folks that this might be the very worst way to start their day..... and they look at you like you'e got an extra head.

If people would stop running with their mouths and start running with their feet, they'd start to get somewhere.

Absolutely LOVED this comment

Also, totally agreed with the post. Eat less/better move more = weight loss. Not exactly rocket science.

You hit the nail on the head! I've found that when people ask "How did you do it?" they don't really even want to know the answer.....their eyes glaze over immediately after asking the question.

LOL. I wish eyes would just glaze over. I had family ask me my "secret" recently while they spread butter on literally everything they eat (including toaster strudels - wth - and crackers just as a side dish). THEN upon telling them some eating healthy tips, they chimed in with everything they knew about weight loss! From people that had eaten probably 5-6 tablespoons of butter since the opening of the conversation!

Oh My Goodness! That irritates me....I've had to do a slow count in my head when this happens lol I've been discussing with family lately and they're always asking how me and my hubby are managing to stay on task and keep losing weight and we'll try to example (in a good tone)...EVEN WHILE they are downing a BIG *kitten* bag of chips and drinking big bottles of soda (you know the ones with a serving for 3 or 4!)
I use to do it too so I try to stay focused and put myself in their shoes..but the thing is when I had someone in my face telling me something like... "oh, and you know I watch the serving size on things...I don't deny myself, but if I was eating a BIG *kitten* bag of chips..I'd eat enough for one serving if I"m serious about watching it" ...I actually put down the bag of chips.
However, when we are discussing these things with family....they are piling on salty...sugary things ...eating bags of potato chips and just looking like "yeah..serving size..what's that?" lol
I love celebrating and being around family during special functions,but I'm so thankful that we live a good distance away from both our families and have our own little healthy sanctuary to return to after all the gatherings

This was an excellent post...and all of the comments have been very insightful!

The last time I got to my goal weight, I really struggled with the emotional side of it...feeling like I looked and felt great, but that "skinny" girl wasn't really me! So...the pounds started creeping back on. 30 pounds later, I'm back at it again, but with 10 pounds lost already, I'm on my way. I think it's really important to check in with yourself along the journey and to remind yourself that you are worth all of the hard work, tracking, excercise, etc. that it takes to show the true you! That's what I'm trying to do this time, anyway.

Man, have I enjoyed reading this post!!! Congratulations to each of you! Your weight loss is inspiring.

I have a few comments..

First the cold thing is really unbearable for me this year. I live in Buffalo, NY and it has been so cold!! The only advantage of my coat being way too big is that I can wear a sweater and a thick furry hoodie underneath the coat. When I am dressed up to go outside no one would even think I had lost a pound!!!:laugh: If you knocked me over I wouldn't be able to get up!:laugh: I really am a member of the tortoise club!!!

The wedding rings are an issue. Get them re-sized!!!

As for shoes, well not only am I going through sneakers like crazy, my other shoes are also too big!!!

Barbie...you should ask away!! I think people consider it a compliment to be asked where they shop telling them you think they look great! etc.

Thanks Dan for posting!

D

One big issue I've had (and seen others have) is that you set out to reach this amazing goal, then pull it off after struggle and sacrifice, but somehow the results don't seem as grand as you originally envisioned. I have a MUCH better self-image, but it never quite got to where I want it to be, which is why I'm still working after all these years.

People also tend to think that weight loss will fix problems they have. I can tell you right now, if you don't like yourself atleast a little when you're fat, you're not going to miraculously start loving yourself when you're thin. Sometimes there are other issues going on that need attention beyond just losing weight.

Just something to think about.

This is so right! Unless you work on your mental habits while you're losing weight, you will still be the same person with the same thoughts about yourself at goal weight that you had when you started. I'm convinced this is why people gain their weight back because I'm sure this is why I did. Most importantly - consuming food has to stop being the way you react to anything - good or bad.

People get upset with us at family dinners and celebrations when we don't eat the way they do because they see eating as "celebrating" and enjoying themselves. But just being together, having fun together, playing and laughing together is celebrating too.

You wrote out exactly what I was thinking while reading through this again. We get with the family...big celebrations...always around the food. Which food is great....it's awesome...it's what we need, but in my families...it's not the healthy stuff. I enjoy talking and laughing and just being around them, but that doesn't mean I'm being rude when I refuse to eat a big piece of fried chicken or a huge slice of cake....that's not my lifestyle anymore, it's just food...doesn't change how I feel about family...I just don't choose to eat that way anymore. It's easier to example among people (here) who get that, but it's not so easy to say to the family.

I've still got a ways to go before I hit my goal, but I can DEFINITELY resonate with some of these already!!

• Way too many clothes that don’t fit.
Before losing weight this was a problem too but everything was too tight but at least you still had a couple of 'fat day' clothes. After you lose a lot of weight nothing fits you anymore and you look like Hobo even in your ‘fat day’ clothes. You have to buy a whole new wardrobe and that can get expensive. Don’t forget when the weather changes into winter or summer you’ll have to buy new clothes all over again for the clothes that you had stored away for the season. This includes coats/jackets which no longer fit properly too. You’ll be buying more shoes also, with all the exercise that you’ll be doing the treads on your shoes will wear out four times faster.

Soooooooo true! I've given away a TON of clothes and picked up a few things here and there, but it is never enough. I'm a college professor, and I put on my black dress pants and look in the mirror and I'm like, OMG it looks like I am wearing SWEATPANTS! Wth?! Realllly frustrating, especially when I have to dress professionally almost every day of the week and I've got nothing to wear!!

For those of you struggling with pulling the right sizes off the shelf in stores, I have a suggestion. The first time I went to buy some new clothes after losing a big chunk of weight, I told myself "I am a size 14. I will not try on anything bigger than a size 14. I will not try on any shirts bigger than a large." And I did. And it worked beautifully. I said it over and over again in my head before I got there, while I was looking, while I was trying on. There was this button up shirt that I loved and I thought, oh, I need to take the XL because it will never fit (button ups never do over my chest). But I didn't. And it fit. And its my favorite shirt. Now, I've even managed to see some mediums, and said, hey, you know, that might fit me... and it does!

• You’ll be a lot colder.
I can’t believe how cold I get now. I use to be one of those guys who could wear shorts all the time (Yes, I know that’s not fashionable but my modeling career never took off, so who gives a flip). It didn’t matter if it was below freezing my legs just wouldn’t get cold. Now, I feel as if I’m freezing all the time and I always have to check the thermostat to see if someone has turned down the heat.

Sooooooooo true and soooooo annoying! Between living in SoCal the past few years and being spoiled with the perpetually warm weather, and then losing 55 lbs, I cannot STAND the cold anymore! We went camping over Thanksgiving, and it got into the 40s at night. We were in a tent, on the beach... that first night, I thought I had frostbite. I've literally never been so cold in my entire life. I was wearing my jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a sweatshirt, with tons of blankets piled up on top of me, and I was so cold I was numb. All. Night. Long. Didn't sleep a bit. It hurt!! I'm cold all the time now. I used to be the one who wore flip flops in the winter time (unless it was snowing) and skirts in February. Not anymore!

• Wedding ring doesn’t fit anymore.
My wedding ring was one to the triggers that started my weight loss journey; it was getting too tight and on the verge of not coming off at all. Now, the things always flopping around on my finger and I have to take it off a lot in fear of losing it while doing activities.

I got so scared mine was going to fall off. It used to be so tight, I couldn't even take it off to clean it. Go to Walmart, in the jewelry department, and get the "snuggies" ... they are just little plastic things that fit over your rings. Comes with 6. The bigger ones are technically for the men's rings, but they will fit around two ladies rings, which is what I did (for my engagement ring and band together). It doesn't get in the way and isn't bothersome, and you won't have to worry about the ring slipping off!

• Having to always be asked, “What’s the secret?” by everyone you’ve ever come into contact with before you lost the weight.
Short answer, there is no secret, eat less and exercise more. No one believes you though and you have to spend a lot of time convincing them that there is no secret diet out there.

Funny that this one came up... reminds me of my former co-worker. Every time I see her, she gushes at how much weight I've lost and how good I look. She's obese herself; I want to say she is bigger than I was when I started, but I don't know that for sure. She always talks about wanting to lose weight, but she has PCOS (I do too) and it is just so hard. When she saw that I was doing it, she wanted to know how and I emailed her the link to this site right away. She never joined, never did anything. Just saw her today, and she was like "oh my GOSH every time I see you you've lost more weight! You look so good! Is it REALLY just that site you told me about? REALLY? THAT'S IT?" ... Yes. Yes it is. Well, that and adding a bit of exercise! Apparently it just isn't believable that watching what you eat, learning portion control, and recording your food intake really works?! LOL

Ditto on the being cold. I have a space heater in my office to keep the chill away. Mainly it's hands and feet. Whoever thought "Hell" would be hot never lost weight! I'm thinking also that places that get very warm probably won't seem nearly as warm at goal weight. I'll have to go investigate.

I haven't reached my goal yet and I haven't even figured out what it is. I was actually able to say out loud to another person yesterday what I actually weigh (a huge milestone) and when I did the skinny minnie looked shocked at how much that was from her perception and said "Well I don't know where you're hiding it". Someone on these boards said recently that this is because few people are very good at seeing it from anything but their own perspective, and I agree on that. What it does look like to me is that there is a very clear threshold for what is perceived to be "normal weight" vs. "overweight". I wonder what it is.

I am expecting to be journalling for the rest of my life. I see some logistical difficulties in continuing the process longer than that.

I am just coming up on my 25th anniversary of quitting smoking, and this time around I'm treating the weight loss the same way. There is no going back and you always have to be careful with what you eat.