Was this rude because the guy sure thought it was
jobegone
Posts: 91
I made a suggestion in my gym the other week that maybe they put up a sign in front of the squat rack about taking the weights off after you've finished which they did which is brilliant !
But today I was using the chest fly machine waiting for the squat rack to be free as there was a youngish guy using it. He had 25kg plates on both sides. Anyways, he did a set and then started to walk away so I said and this is exactly how it went:
"Are you done with that?"
"Yes, why?"
"Could you take the weights of it"
"Why?"
"Well there's a sign asking you too and it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use"
"What if the next person wants to use that weight"
"Well I'm using it next and I can't squat that weight"
So he reluctantly walks back and as he is taking off weights on one side I said thanks, then he walked round and did the other side and again before he was done lifting the weight off I said thanks very much. As he starts walking off he snidely turns and says something which I didn't hear so said excuse me, and he goes "a please would have been good"
I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!
But today I was using the chest fly machine waiting for the squat rack to be free as there was a youngish guy using it. He had 25kg plates on both sides. Anyways, he did a set and then started to walk away so I said and this is exactly how it went:
"Are you done with that?"
"Yes, why?"
"Could you take the weights of it"
"Why?"
"Well there's a sign asking you too and it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use"
"What if the next person wants to use that weight"
"Well I'm using it next and I can't squat that weight"
So he reluctantly walks back and as he is taking off weights on one side I said thanks, then he walked round and did the other side and again before he was done lifting the weight off I said thanks very much. As he starts walking off he snidely turns and says something which I didn't hear so said excuse me, and he goes "a please would have been good"
I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!
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Replies
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I guess a "please" would have been a good idea, but he is still the one in the wrong. Some people are so freakin' clueless!!! Good for you for speaking up!!!0
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depends on tone. if you were sweet as pie but didnt say please thats different than snark. heck sometimes saying please is more rude than just being polite and not saying please.
i still make my kids say please and thank you and you're welcome.0 -
Sounds to me like he was embarrassed being caught out for not doing the right thing.0
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I wouldn't have said you were rude but saying please never hurts. It's interesting that he was rude enough to ignore the posted sign but called you out for not saying please!0
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I immediately knew I should have said please, I'm normally very good on manners so I thought I'd make up for it by saying thank-you a few times !!0
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I made a suggestion in my gym the other week that maybe they put up a sign in front of the squat rack about taking the weights off after you've finished which they did which is brilliant !
But today I was using the chest fly machine waiting for the squat rack to be free as there was a youngish guy using it. He had 25kg plates on both sides. Anyways, he did a set and then started to walk away so I said and this is exactly how it went:
"Are you done with that?"
"Yes, why?"
"Could you take the weights of it"
"Why?"
"Well there's a sign asking you too and it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use"
"What if the next person wants to use that weight"
"Well I'm using it next and I can't squat that weight"
So he reluctantly walks back and as he is taking off weights on one side I said thanks, then he walked round and did the other side and again before he was done lifting the weight off I said thanks very much. As he starts walking off he snidely turns and says something which I didn't hear so said excuse me, and he goes "a please would have been good"
I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!
Nah, you're good. I can't stand people that don't unrack the weight. I had a guy at my gym who was shrugging 4 plates at the squat rack and he never unracked the weights. So, yea, I unracked a total of 8 45plates before my set of squats...it's freakin annoying.0 -
Please or no please, it's health club "etiquette".... just like cleaning off your equipment after you use it. He was most likely hoping to get away with it.
Glad you said something.0 -
Please is always considerate, but he's acting as if he was doing you a favor. He wasn't, so he can go get bit.0
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I didn't think they let 5 year olds use the heavy equipment. He shouldn't require a please and thank you for doing something he's SUPPOSED to do. What a baby.0
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No "please" necessary. You re-rack your weights at the gym. Period. End of story. If you can lift it, you can put it away.0
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biotch-:laugh:0
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Meh, bottom line you gave him a sad for calling him out on his thoughtlessness, he knew he was wrong and is pissed he didn't get away with it without someone calling him out, he even tried to bluff his way out of it (frankly, I think the fact that he was a man and a girl was instructing him on using the squat rack right probably bugged him) and he was petty enough to want to hurt your feelings for it.
It never hurts to say "please" but it's not as though you were asking him to do you a special favor he shouldn't have had to do. You were instructing him to follow the rules of etiquette, and he didn't like it much.
Also, I have a hard time imagining many men would try that passive aggressive "you should have said please" to another man. A lot of guys have a hard time with women being even a TINY bit assertive, and I suspect he thinks you owed it to him to soft-pedal more massively than you did. Standing up to a man is UNFEMININE, you know. :huh:0 -
If he's rude enough to ignore the sign i bet he'd been rude on matter what.0
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The sign is there. Even without the sign, it's known that you clean up your own weights. That said, saying please is also common courtesy, but it honestly sounds like he just has issues. I'd stop thinking about this one and let it go.0
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Not rude at all. Sure you didn't use the word please but you didn't order him to do it either. "Could you" implies that you recognize he has the power to refuse your request. This is essentially what the word please accomplishes. You are making a plea from a position of inferior power. His nitpicking over some "magical word" is really just pettiness.
Forget him. You convinced him to do the correct thing this time. Mission accomplished. Pat yourself on the back.0 -
Sounds to me like he was embarrassed being caught out for not doing the right thing.
<= I think definitely this. This is more about himself than yourself; of course a "please is nice" but he could have also not had to mumble this as a side comment - similarly he could have been assertive with his response without being rude. You will be better prepared for next time with your ..."Do you mind?"... while gesturing towards the weights not returned as they should be.0 -
I think people just naturally don't like to be told what to do, even if its something they should have done. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have spoken up like you did. It's just not surprising that some people will react that way.0
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I have to agree I don't completely think a please was necessary. If it's something you are supposed to do i.e. a sign right in front of you then you do it. To me that goes in the same category as sitting on a machine for 20 min just yaking on the phone while a line forms. I will also say my workout has me using selectorized equipment instead of free weights but I do reset the pins to 10 lbs in case the person behind me just sits down without looking at what weight it was set to. My small way of being neighborly at the gym.0
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I think he was embarassed. I also think he acted like a big baby. And I don't think you needed to say please. I think he needed to say he was sorry for not doing it without being asked.0
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How about "would you mind taking the weights off because I find them too heavy to lift?" - then he can feel like he's helping someone out and maybe understand the rules, rather than being scolded by his mum.0
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My way would have been like this:
You Done there Beast Mode ?
Then rack those plates SUCKAAA!!!!
Now, bow to your sensei in the Iron Dojo !!0 -
I think you were totally appropriate and considerate in the way you approached the situation. His snide remark about a "please" is just his way of jabbing back at you. You were right. He was wrong. He needed to be right again so he made the "please" comment. Just people being small, that's all.0
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How about "would you mind taking the weights off because I find them too heavy to lift?" - then he can feel like he's helping someone out and maybe understand the rules, rather than being scolded by his mum.
Thing is I could have lifted them-not squatted it, but lifted the plates off -yeh.I just didn't think it right that I should take off his weights when there is a sign right in front of his nose telling him too. Nor should I have to 'big-up' his ego by making him think he's helping a weakling when I'm not one. This also completely contradicts most of my reasons for lifting at the gym in the first place. I lift to empower myself, not some man at the gym.0 -
My way would have been like this:
You Done there Beast Mode ?
Then rack those plates SUCKAAA!!!!
Now, bow to your sensei in the Iron Dojo !!
:laugh:
Would have loved to have seen his face !!!0 -
Nah, you're good. I wonder if he leaves dirty dishes in the sink "because someone might want to use them later." That's a ridiculous excuse.0
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He was feeling in the wrong and trying to make himself feel a little better by trying to find something you'd done wrong.
But in fact you did nothing wrong.
The word please, though nice, is not necessary for polite discourse. I would rather have someone say in a nice tone of voice, "Would you pass me the Greek yogurt" than snarl a "Pass the yogurt, please." Polite asking is polite asking.
not to mention that you didn't exactly owe the guy a bunch of politeness for his being thoughtless and rude. But better not to fall to his level.0 -
He had no problem being rude but becomes ulta-sensitive when he didn't get a" please" --- what a wimp. He should have apologized to you. That's why I lift at home- the rudeness is rampant-too many self absorbed people who care little or nothing about those around them. It's even worse when people sweat all over the equipment and don't even bother to wipe it down. Working out at home spares me the high blood pressure and aggravation. ---0
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More like leaving clean plates on the table "because someone might want to use them later."Nah, you're good. I wonder if he leaves dirty dishes in the sink "because someone might want to use them later." That's a ridiculous excuse.
Doesn't actually sound too unreasonable like that
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Ah, so you just want him to be a little less lazy so you can be a little more lazy.Thing is I could have lifted them-not squatted it, but lifted the plates off
I've never understood why people get so worked up about it.
I've been moaned at for leaving plates on before because they were too heavy... but then it's my own setup which my friend was using for free - I just suggested she obviously DID need to improve her functional strength and should practice by taking the plates off
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From your original post:
For a lot of people, 25kg each side is a base weight - would expect most males a little serious about their squats who do a warm up would be starting around that (and maybe women a bit more into it) - so I suspect if it's purely used for squatting, on average you're making it less convenient not more by getting this sign up and forcing people to remove weights. For MORE people the bar is not a weight they would use, but you're happy with that when it's for others, it seems.it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use0 -
I can't stand people that don't re-rack. I'm not here to pick up after people. And yes I am rude about it when I tell them.0
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I don't think it's rude...BUT I would have probably not mentioned the sign being on the wall. I would have probably just said, "hey, can you take the plates off?" "Why?" "Because I want to use this machine, and I can't squat that weight." He probably would have just rolled his eyes instead of smarting-off.0
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