Was this rude because the guy sure thought it was

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  • kborton1122
    kborton1122 Posts: 914 Member
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    Not rude at all, even without the "please". You did say "thank you", twice.
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Nah, you're good. I wonder if he leaves dirty dishes in the sink "because someone might want to use them later." That's a ridiculous excuse.
    More like leaving clean plates on the table "because someone might want to use them later."
    Doesn't actually sound too unreasonable like that :).
    Thing is I could have lifted them-not squatted it, but lifted the plates off
    Ah, so you just want him to be a little less lazy so you can be a little more lazy.
    I've never understood why people get so worked up about it.
    I've been moaned at for leaving plates on before because they were too heavy... but then it's my own setup which my friend was using for free - I just suggested she obviously DID need to improve her functional strength and should practice by taking the plates off :D.

    From your original post:
    it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use
    For a lot of people, 25kg each side is a base weight - would expect most males a little serious about their squats who do a warm up would be starting around that (and maybe women a bit more into it) - so I suspect if it's purely used for squatting, on average you're making it less convenient not more by getting this sign up and forcing people to remove weights. For MORE people the bar is not a weight they would use, but you're happy with that when it's for others, it seems.

    Ah this guy is clearly one of the people we all hate in the gym. It's stupid to assume everyone starts with the same amount of weight, and people should haven't to unrack other peoples bars, because you are too lazy. and no that doesn't make her extra lazy it just makes her somebody who follows the rules, and thinks other people should too, they gym would be so much better if it were like that, and people would probably get their workouts done quicker too.
  • Jollybeard
    Jollybeard Posts: 38 Member
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    Seems like there was room for additional etiquette on both sides. A "please" is always a good idea, but this guy seemed to have his pride hurt a little, being asked to clean up after himself. His remark seems like an attempt to save a bit of face.

    And to be perfectly honest, it took me a few months before I picked up on how much of a rude *kitten* I was being by not clearing my weights. I saw so many people leaving their weights on and I had gotten used to clearing weights off the bar that I didn't even think of the inconvenience I was causing. I get it now.
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
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    I made a suggestion in my gym the other week that maybe they put up a sign in front of the squat rack about taking the weights off after you've finished which they did which is brilliant !

    But today I was using the chest fly machine waiting for the squat rack to be free as there was a youngish guy using it. He had 25kg plates on both sides. Anyways, he did a set and then started to walk away so I said and this is exactly how it went:

    "Are you done with that?"
    "Yes, why?"
    "Could you take the weights of it"
    "Why?"
    "Well there's a sign asking you too and it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use"
    "What if the next person wants to use that weight"
    "Well I'm using it next and I can't squat that weight"

    So he reluctantly walks back and as he is taking off weights on one side I said thanks, then he walked round and did the other side and again before he was done lifting the weight off I said thanks very much. As he starts walking off he snidely turns and says something which I didn't hear so said excuse me, and he goes "a please would have been good"

    I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!

    If you said thank you that's good enough.

    Unless the guy couldn't read - you shouldn't of had to ask.

    Forget about it the guys a D*ck!!!!
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    many guys forget some females use the barbells and just assume a guy will come along next and use 1 plate as their warmup. Most guys warmup with 1 plate on each side for squats. Only ever seen a few guys squat or warmup with less and that's because they were beginners. Just an oversight on the guy's part I think.

    I always leave 1 or 2 plates on the leg press machine since almost everyone does at least a plate due to nature of the machine. But guys should realize barbells are a different story and people use them for more than squats. Could be a person is going to use it to overhead press and wont want to warmup with 135lbs.

    The main reason I hate when people don't unrack barbells is that a loaded barbell looks like it's being used. That annoys me much more than having to take off a plate or two.

    So an unracked barbell looks like it is being used, but an unracked leg press says hey come use me? Also I do warm up sets with just the bar then one plate on each side, and then two plates on each side, it makes it easier on my legs to get a series of stretches first with lighter weight before moving on to the heavy stuff.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    Ah this guy is clearly one of the people we all hate in the gym.
    Why would you hate me in the gym?

    Who has assumed EVERYONE starts with the same weight?

    And just to clarify - her not wanting to do the bit of work isn't lazy, but the other person not doing it is?
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Ah this guy is clearly one of the people we all hate in the gym.
    Why would you hate me in the gym?

    Who has assumed EVERYONE starts with the same weight?

    And just to clarify - her not wanting to do the bit of work isn't lazy, but the other person not doing it is?

    Yes the other person not clearing weights they put on is lazy, and her not wanting to clear other peoples weight is not... I don't know how it could get any simpler than that.

    I would hate you at the gym, because you don't clear your weights, I thought that was pretty clear as well.

    You assumed everyone starts with the same weights, by leaving your weights on there
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    incorrect.
    Are you 'a lot of people' or are you ".... male...."?
    If not, what you say in no way contradicts my assertions. I specifically mentioned males as women in general don't lift as much due to genetics and so on.
    it's not sensible to assume someone can't move YOUR weights.
    Why not? Why did you even say this?
    rude as fu*k to leave them their for someone else to clean up.
    You really feel that strongly over having to spend a few extra second moving some weights? A lot of things others do inconvienence me a lot more than that and I don't feel that strongly about them.
    On re-racking, this actually does annoy me a bit - when the weights rack is a way away. Thankfully, the last commercial gym I used regularly kept some weights on the floor around the squat rack. Otherwise the time taken DID start to add up as you karted all the weights over, avoiding other people and so on - which in the world so many want, someone else would have just done the exact reverse off.

    I'd certainly prefer weights left on a bar to a rack the otherside of the gym!

    (This is of course presuming the gym has an adequate amount of weights so none is short.)

    And... just a thought.
    The time taken to get someone to put a notice up and so on, so everyone else conforms to the OP's wishes could have seen a lot of weights taken off bar :).

    I get where you're coming from, as I don't mind unracking a bar either. Doesn't bother me in the least. But we're both guys, and assuming you're at least average build and height, it's so much easier for us. Taking 1000 pounds off the leg press is a nuisance, but it doesn't fatigue me in the slightest. But if I was 5'3" and 135 pounds, it would require a significant amount of My energy.

    That said, I'm not sure why a lot of people feel like you can just talk to people any way you want because you feel that you're in the right. Know what my receptionist's job is? To answer calls and take messages. It's in writing as part of her job description. But I still say please and thank you. Every time.
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    I guess a "please" would have been a good idea, but he is still the one in the wrong. Some people are so freakin' clueless!!! Good for you for speaking up!!!

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  • Kirk_R
    Kirk_R Posts: 112 Member
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    Getting the plates off the bar can be difficult even for short males. For my wife and daughters, who are all right around 5'0" tall it is impossible. I myself have had trouble at times removing plates if the person who left them was tall. It's just plain rude to leave them on there regardless.

    Side note: one of the best ever light to middleweight squatters, Rickey Dale Crain, started with just the bar and he squatted as much as 800 lbs.
  • margannmks
    margannmks Posts: 424 Member
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    I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!
    I get so tired of defending myself cause someone dosent like my " tone" when what they really dont like is being wrong. And why do we as women always assume we did something wrong when we try to be asserative. Good for you
  • phatguerilla
    phatguerilla Posts: 188 Member
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    I don't generally ask people to unrack their weights in the gym as its a lost cause, but no a please wasn't necessary, its a common courtesy to unrack your weights and only ****heads don't do it.
  • DirrtyH
    DirrtyH Posts: 664 Member
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    And just to clarify - her not wanting to do the bit of work isn't lazy, but the other person not doing it is?

    Is it lazy of me not to want to wash my roommate's dishes?
    Is it lazy of me to expect my nephews to put their own shoes away? They're not too heavy for me, it's pretty easy to pick them up and put them in the shoe bin. So I'm lazy to not want to pick up after other people? To expect other people to pick up after themselves?
    You're kind of ridiculous.
  • mochapygmy
    mochapygmy Posts: 2,123 Member
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    I immediately knew I should have said please, I'm normally very good on manners so I thought I'd make up for it by saying thank-you a few times !!

    I'm with you. I always try and say please and thank you but it sounds like he was just tweaked that he got called out. It's all good and I love how he tried to squirm out of it even after you called him on it. What if someone else wants to lift this weight? HA!:laugh:
  • gurlygirlrcr80
    gurlygirlrcr80 Posts: 162 Member
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    My response would have been. "No discussion would have been necessary had you followed the instructions."
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    incorrect.
    Are you 'a lot of people' or are you ".... male...."?
    If not, what you say in no way contradicts my assertions. I specifically mentioned males as women in general don't lift as much due to genetics and so on.
    it's not sensible to assume someone can't move YOUR weights.
    Why not? Why did you even say this?
    rude as fu*k to leave them their for someone else to clean up.
    You really feel that strongly over having to spend a few extra second moving some weights? A lot of things others do inconvienence me a lot more than that and I don't feel that strongly about them.
    On re-racking, this actually does annoy me a bit - when the weights rack is a way away. Thankfully, the last commercial gym I used regularly kept some weights on the floor around the squat rack. Otherwise the time taken DID start to add up as you karted all the weights over, avoiding other people and so on - which in the world so many want, someone else would have just done the exact reverse off.

    I'd certainly prefer weights left on a bar to a rack the otherside of the gym!

    (This is of course presuming the gym has an adequate amount of weights so none is short.)

    And... just a thought.
    The time taken to get someone to put a notice up and so on, so everyone else conforms to the OP's wishes could have seen a lot of weights taken off bar :).

    anyone I have done power lifting or oly lifting with did the bar at least once- male and female.

    I worked at a gym- I pretty much live at a gym- it's not a few minutes of my day- it winds up being hours you spend looking for stuff you need and as an employee cleaning up and as a patron- I moved HUNDREDS of weights around a day cleaning up after people. I started to hurt my back and my shoulders- and I know how to pick stuff up. It takes 5 minutes to put up a sign- it takes 30 seconds for YOU the user to put stuff away- it takes a staff member 15-30 minutes to clean up. EVERY day they do that.

    If you don't put it away- that means someone else has to- it's not fair to make staff do it- and it's not fair to make someone else do it for you. That's all there is to it- you THINK it doesn't bother people- but at some point- SOMEONE has to put it away- either it's the guy who put it there- or the guy who uses it later and then puts it away- or the poor staff member who is REQUIRED to tidy up throughout the day.

    If someone is tall and leaves 315 on the rack on a top peg- I"m now lifting 45's over my shoulders and down essentially- yeah it's a struggle and energy drain for me. I'd honestly rather spend my energy squatting than playing maid. Ultimately if I have to move 315 off of every bar- that adds up.

    It's not that big of a deal to put it away- if you got it out- then you can put it away.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    because you don't clear your weights, I thought that was pretty clear as well.
    Only in your mind.
    If you'd taken the time to read my posts before responding, you'll note the only time I've specified I DON'T remove my own weights is in my own place. If you'd really come and use the my weights area for free (including the power cage that I built by myself, the equipment I paid for and so on) and you would then 'hate' me because I left my own weights on my own bar...
    Then I certainly wouldn't be inviting you a second time!
    If you read in that I do such in commercial gyms which request you don't, I'd suggest you take the time to read what you are responding to before getting all enraged by it! ;)
    You assumed everyone starts with the same weights, by leaving your weights on there
    No, I did not assume 'everyone' starts with the same weights.
    Had you considered it might be good etiquette to read posts before responding with outraged anger?

    I was never bothered by cleaning a housemates dishes - if I wanted to use one or if I was doing washing up anyway.
    As it goes, there was one housemate who I stopped cleaning for - this was when I had done 3 loads of some crockery I had GIVEN her and was a bit dusty from storage. Her comment "well, if you're not going to do it properly, don't bother" when she found some bit less than perfect. I was amused to see her dirty stuff pile up for 7 days before it got cleaned (it was her house).

    Anyway - if I clean some dirty dishes and the house mate then cleans mine the next time, what difference does it make?
    And why do we as women always assume we did something wrong when we try to be asserative. Good for you
    Lets switch it around and imagine a bloke approached a woman like this.
    I bet we'd see a post on here talking about intimidation and bullying in the weights room, chauvinism and so on.
    Many women do seem to consider it ok to be ruder than they want others to be to them.
  • gurlygirlrcr80
    gurlygirlrcr80 Posts: 162 Member
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    I would have said PLEASE learn how to read, *kitten*.

    hahaha!!!
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
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    He was just mad you called him on it. :laugh: If he couldn't get you on that, he would have found something else to chasten you for.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    Even worse than not unracking the bar (at least the plates are there) are those that take the weights from the squat rack and use them on the other side of the gym and just leave them when they are done. I can't start my routine without first going on a damn scavenger hunt for the plates. And YES, there are signs to return equipment to their original places. No one cares, obviously...except ME.

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