*kitten* People Say To People Who're Trying To Lose Weight!
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It's terrible being an alcoholic and he functions pretty well goes to work almost everyday. Being a widow I don't want to be by myself but living like this is killing me more then it's killing him. I really haven't done well on my diet mostly because of the stress in my life. But I am still a very happy person and try to do good in life. I already told him he is not invited to move with me when I retire.
I am so sorry you have to go through this! You don't deserve it at all and it's amazing that you're distracting yourself with the good things in life! If only I could teleport and punch him in the face...
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When I told my sister in law I was counting calories to lose weight, she looked at me like I had 3 heads and said "you're COUNTING calories?!" like I was a crazy person.
Some other good ones:
"Well you're getting older so of coarse you are going to start gaining weight, that's normal". I was 24 at the time and no it's not normal to have a BMI of 25, that's why it's called OVERweight and not normal weight. Age-related weight gain is a thing but it is not the reason why I am overweight.
"You're young, you can eat whatever you want". What???
"Why are you losing weight, you look fine, it's not like you are super fat or anything". Umm, well thanks but how I think and feel about my body and health is more important than your opinion, as nice as it is.
"You've been trying to lose weight for 6 months but you don't look any different". I fell off the wagon due to a medical condition and because I temporary lost my willpower, but thanks for the confidence boost!0 -
You look great now. Maybe you are just meant to be that size.
Yea.. a friend of mine says that "Maybe this is the size your body is comfortable at" Uhh.. no.. my body will be comfortable when it is a healthy size. Not the size I decide to stop at because I am lazy/give up/or find it difficult. lol0 -
Most people just ask how I did it - and when I tell them count calories/macros - their eyes just glaze over and conversation is over.
^^ So much this... as soon as they hear that its 'Oh I couldn't do that' or just oh... with great disappointment that I didn't say something much more hip or sexy, like this or that magic pill or shake or program by someone they have never heard of....0 -
I NEVER told anybody I was trying to lose weight. I wanted to avoid other people telling me what to do or watching my every move and having unrealistic expectations. It was fun to see their faces after I lost all the weight though. Stunned. lol
My mom on the other hand doesn't want me to reach my goals because that would mean I look better than her. Pfft. She says every day: "You're too thin. What are you a zero?" and makes fun of me for dieting and exercising in public. The fuhh!?
It also drives me crazy as can be when I take one day off or pig out one day and then my mom will say "You can just start over tomorrow." Beetch, I've been working on this for years! I am not starting over!0 -
oh hunny, not wanting to be alone does not justify being treated like *kitten*! :frown:
eta: in response to Bahbz's post
the quote function eluded my noggin0 -
You could be telling my story of my first marriage. When I finally got out, it took awhile to find myself again because I didn't realize how badly he had damaged my self-esteem. I got through it though and was determined to be happy on my own. Being alone is much, much better than being with someone who hurts you on a daily basis. I went back to school, started exercising and made some new friends at school. I started socializing, volunteering and realized one day that I had a great life with lots of friends, all on my own. When I began to feel good about myself, this great guy came along and we ended up getting married. We've been together for 10 years now and are still in love. Thing is, I never would have met him if I had stayed with the first bum. Kick him to the curb and get on with your life.0
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This thread is awesome. I never really thought about how obnoxious people are when it comes to diet advice. Most of it falls in the category of "well-meaning" but ill-advised and unasked for... But geez... And people to do it about EVERYTHING.... you can find "what not to say" lists about mothering boys, mothering girls, mothering premies, being single, losing weight, grieving,... you name it, and people have almost always felt entitled to give "well-meaning" advice, especially family members...
I remember once, when I was pregnant with my daughter, my granddfather said to me, "Think you're gonna hang onto this one?" because I had previously miscarried... He meant nothing by it, but people do not realize sometimes the impact of their words... and I am to the point in my life now where my BS meter is about full, so I'mma start TELLING THEM!
But how do you know when your being hurtful? Like someone here was talking about a comment made, I had experienced something like that before and the relatability made me laugh. I mentioned it and I think they thought I was being hurtful too.0 -
I will go back to the gym one of these days. I need to work on my comeback lines though so I can shut people up when they make stupid comments. Any suggestions?
Just tell them to mind their own business.0 -
I guess I just don't get what gives people especially strangers a free license to make any comments to someone that they don't know. Blows me away at the ignorance in our society.
I blame it on facebook and twitter. People are so busy posting what they had for dinner, or how big of a dump they took that morning, that now everyone believes everyone else's private business is public domain.0 -
Not well at all but he won't leave and it's my house. Just obtained a eviction notice waiting for him to piss me off again. Last Sat nite almost called police.
Evict him. You deserve better.0 -
Oh yes, i can see the weight loss in your face. It looks thinner
:frown:
fabulous. All that work and my face is thinner.0 -
"If you exercise too much, that's cause problems." - Yes, if you're exercising everyday for hours whilst not eating appropriately. I don't think an hour/hour and a half is going to be the death of me.
"You don't want to lose too much more!" - I am the very top end of a healthy BMI, and I want to lose another 16 lbs. I appreciate the concern, and would completely understand if they said this to me at my goal weight. However, I'm in no danger of looking gaunt and ill, so there is no need for the concern.
I've had other comments too, and I can say for the majority of people they're coming from, it is concern rather than an attempt at sabotage.0 -
Oh yes, i can see the weight loss in your face. It looks thinner
:frown:
fabulous. All that work and my face is thinner.
I get this a lot because I lose weight in my face first. I don't usually wear that much makeup but people ask me if I'm going to start wearing more because my face is so pretty.
You know what rude people? My face was just as pretty before I started losing weight.0 -
I hate backhanded compliments so much.
I also hate it when you refuse something somewhere simply because you don't want it - not because of the calorie counting, you just don't feel like it and then there's the tirade of comments like it's a personal offense
"one piece doesn't have THAT many calories - have some"
No thank you
"Oh she can't have that she's on a diet"
I actually can eat whatever I like, I am just not hungry right now, but thanks anyway
"I hope you don't start obsessing over dieting - that isn't healthy either"...
Neither was my fat *kitten* and inability to move without huffing and puffing - but ok... Sorry if making myself a priority and wanting to be healthy and active is somehow "unhealthy" - whatever... like eating that piece of cake is going to prove anything right? lol
People tend to run their mouths and often they do mean well, so I try to keep that in mind, but I stand my ground anyway. When you do, over time people will start to respect the fact that you are not going to revert back to old habits and will either shut up and leave you alone - or they won't, but it just doesn't bother you as much anymore.0 -
You're fat. You need to lose weight.0
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Oh yes, i can see the weight loss in your face. It looks thinner
:frown:
fabulous. All that work and my face is thinner.
I get this a lot because I lose weight in my face first. I don't usually wear that much makeup but people ask me if I'm going to start wearing more because my face is so pretty.
You know what rude people? My face was just as pretty before I started losing weight.
Wait. wait whaaaaaaaaaaat? "Your face is pretty, wear more make-up." How does that make sense again?0 -
"If you're not sore from the gym, you should probably up the ante!"
Wow, after reading these posts, lots of unsupportive people out there.
I try not to talk about the gym or diet/weight loss as i get the feeling that no one wants to hear it (especially at work)
All of you deserve a pat on the back for your hard work and determination! Good job!0 -
It's terrible being an alcoholic and he functions pretty well goes to work almost everyday. Being a widow I don't want to be by myself but living like this is killing me more then it's killing him. I really haven't done well on my diet mostly because of the stress in my life. But I am still a very happy person and try to do good in life. I already told him he is not invited to move with me when I retire.
Honey, there will be someone else out there for you. I know it's hard to be "alone" but this is doing you no good what so ever.... You might find that this "alone" is what in fact you needed all along.0 -
As I stepped off the stairclimber....."Wow!" You worked up quite a sweat there, big boy"0
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He can't go out, he has a diet..
What are you losing weight for?0
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