Ladies - Do you seem to only attract weirdos??

megbee617
megbee617 Posts: 100 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi everyone -

I've noticed that most of my adult life, I have managed to attract only one "type" of guy... you've probably never seen him, because he's always playing video games in his mom's basement. Or perhaps you have seen him because he will often frequent such places as fast food restaurants where he will be eating alone, or public transportation because he doesn't own a car or maybe you work with one of these people and he's that guy that brings the same thing in for lunch everyday and really needs a haircut.

I'm talking about the "weird" guys... the oftentimes scrawny, nerdy, socially-awkward (and I mean in a if-a-girl-simply-makes-eye-contact-he-thinks-shes-flirting kind of awkward). For some reason, I only come across guys that are extremely socially inept. I find it odd because while I'm not the total opposite of that, I consider myself generally pleasant and am able to communicate in an effective way with the majority of society. I've had several boyfriends who have no friends and lots of mommy issues. Mind you, yes, some of this interaction has taken place online and that certainly draws a particular crowd, but seriously, every. single. guy. is. weird.

I'm just wondering where these people come from and why can't I have a "normal" person make advances towards me? Currently experiencing a public transit stalker.
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Replies

  • siport
    siport Posts: 7,429 Member
    how you doing :-)


    now you just have to work out which type i am lol
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  • DamianaKitten
    DamianaKitten Posts: 479 Member
    Are you hitting on guys while they're in their moms basement, or when they're out getting fast food? I imagine not.

    I love my nerdy, socially awkward, hard with making friends, husband. I adore him, and he adores me.

    If that's the "only" type of guy you attract, figure out what you're doing to grab their attention in the first place. If it's online, go to different online forums to meet guys. My husband is absolutely oblivious to women hitting on him, and I find it hilarious. From a social perspective, we are polar opposites. He's weird, and so am I. Everyone is weird. People are weird. If you only attract these "weirdos" as you so lovingly call them, it's something you're doing that's drawing them in. I've always attracted a variety of men, but I'm not sure why I've never only attracted a particular "type" of guy. When I find that I'm meeting people (in general, not just romance) that I don't care to be around, I look at what I'm doing that's consistent. If I like the people I'm meeting, I keep doing it. Just takes some self perspective to see where you're getting "stuck" to attract those people.
  • tmm_0127
    tmm_0127 Posts: 545 Member
    Kinda sad that nerds are included on your list. But I'm a nerd so I'm biased, oh well!

    I'm attracting a lot of weirdos too over the past few months ... but to me weirdo means they instantly start calling me babe, baby, honey and other cutesy crap like that right after we start talking, not even after the first date ... also guys who've been asking me "will you be my girlfriend?" ... xD Kinda feel like that's a bit childish to do (once you hit adulthood I feel like it's just kind of an unspoken understanding that you're someone's gf/bf after a few dates, no clarification needed unless there's honestly some confusion). *shrug*
  • TitanGM
    TitanGM Posts: 1,161 Member
    Well, depends on what environment you live and where you work. If you live in a rural place, you probably only attract country men, and if you work in gaming industry you probably will attract a lot of the so called 'Nerds'. People who are very sociable usually tend to have an easy time engaging socially with others. It is actually the only way those "weirdos" you mentioned can come to the contact with human world beside themselves. Some people suffer from different kind of social disabilities, and defining them as weirdos it sounds rude and insulting. As people with more capable social skills we ought to help them instead of categorizing them.
  • DamianaKitten
    DamianaKitten Posts: 479 Member
    Kinda sad that nerds are included on your list. But I'm a nerd so I'm biased, oh well!

    ... xD Kinda feel like that's a bit childish to do (once you hit adulthood I feel like it's just kind of an unspoken understanding that you're someone's gf/bf after a few dates, no clarification needed unless there's honestly some confusion). *shrug*

    /hijack

    I disagree. When I was just dating in my adult life, I always wanted to be 100% clear on what the terms of the relationship were. I had a couple guys who insisted that we were a monogamous couple after a couple of dates, even after I'd made it clear that wasn't my intention. It has always bothered me when guys assumed I was "only theirs" without even asking me about it, even in HS. :laugh:
  • Chrystine71
    Chrystine71 Posts: 224
    You can figure out pretty quickly on MFP who qualifies and who doesnt. I've met my share of 'em on here, BUT I've also met some of the funniest and SWEETEST people as well. Dont give up! ;-)
  • tmm_0127
    tmm_0127 Posts: 545 Member
    Kinda sad that nerds are included on your list. But I'm a nerd so I'm biased, oh well!

    ... xD Kinda feel like that's a bit childish to do (once you hit adulthood I feel like it's just kind of an unspoken understanding that you're someone's gf/bf after a few dates, no clarification needed unless there's honestly some confusion). *shrug*

    /hijack

    I disagree. When I was just dating in my adult life, I always wanted to be 100% clear on what the terms of the relationship were. I had a couple guys who insisted that we were a monogamous couple after a couple of dates, even after I'd made it clear that wasn't my intention. It has always bothered me when guys assumed I was "only theirs" without even asking me about it, even in HS. :laugh:

    Seems like an example of the part when I said "unless there's honestly some confusion". :P But in this case it seems like they didn't get it even after you clarified. xD Since I started dating as an adult I've only had an issue with one guy and it was the opposite - we had been going on a few dates a week and hanging out regularly and I thought we were a thing but then I started seeing him around campus hugging and kissing another girl so we chatted and he seemed shocked I thought we were monogamous. You just have to be clear with your intentions, and if being clear doesn't cut it then you have a decision to make whether or not you compromise and see how it works out or move on. :)
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    What if I am the weirdo?
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
    I am a weirdo so it makes sense.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    :huh: Judgmental much? My husband is a weirdo and I love him for that. So what if a guy lives in his mom's basement, has long hair or is into comics/sci-fi/etc? That doesn't make him less of a person or less worthy of having a girlfriend. Weirdos are the most awesome people I know.
  • TitanGM
    TitanGM Posts: 1,161 Member
    That doesn't make him less of a person or less worthy of having a girlfriend. Weirdos are the most awesome people I know.
    People like you deserve a :flowerforyou:
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    I'm talking about the "weird" guys... the oftentimes scrawny, nerdy, socially-awkward (and I mean in a if-a-girl-simply-makes-eye-contact-he-thinks-shes-flirting kind of awkward). For some reason, I only come across guys that are extremely socially inept. I find it odd because while I'm not the total opposite of that, I consider myself generally pleasant and am able to communicate in an effective way with the majority of society.
    Occam's razor?
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    Guess i'm a weirdo (other than scrawny) but my fiance loves me to bits so i must do something right.
  • bnsnwldwmn
    bnsnwldwmn Posts: 38
    I know what you mean. I went through a time where I thought that too. The guys who were interested in me were perfectly nice, but fit that extremely nerdy, awkward description. Some of them I was friends with already but just not attracted to AT ALL romantically, which made it even more awkward, because then I was caught between preserving our friendship, their feelings, and my dignity all at the same time. I used to wonder why my "dream guys" never seemed attracted to me.

    And guys, cut her some slack. I don't think she meant any offense by calling them "weirdos". Surely you've casually labeled someone a weirdo because they were vastly different from you without meaning anything significant by it. And then of course there's that quote that seems to pop up every now and then:

    "We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love."
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    :huh: Judgmental much? My husband is a weirdo and I love him for that. So what if a guy lives in his mom's basement, has long hair or is into comics/sci-fi/etc? That doesn't make him less of a person or less worthy of having a girlfriend. Weirdos are the most awesome people I know.

    This ^^^ :flowerforyou:
  • JustT1m
    JustT1m Posts: 41 Member
    So if they live in their dad's basement it is ok?
  • jos05
    jos05 Posts: 263 Member
    I would just have to give you this piece of advice... Get out...
    If you think someone is weird... move on...
    If you only "attract" weird guys... think about changing your situation. Example: places you eat, places you shop, buses you ride...lol!

    I've always thought that if you change your plans, places, and friends... you'll experience new people... maybe you're due for a change of scenery!
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    I work in a male dominated technical/computer/television profession , I am the "gay eskimo" - I literally am the ONLY female in my entire company-I am also in HR - so tend to be pretty approachable in general, but all the guys around me every day are "those guys"

    they all fall into what i call 2 categories " the tech geek" guys or the divorced/wounded guy... Makes me happy that they feel comfortable enough with me to talk to me ... but I am also 11 years married

    for you , if youre in a "geek" field of work , thats your environment , same with online, whats your "online environment"
    you attract what you are around in general...

    looking "outside your zone" means you have to be open to a heck of a lot of change ...
    are you?
    and whats so terribly wrong with "those" guys?
  • broox80
    broox80 Posts: 1,195 Member
    So glad I am not in the dating game anymore!! I would for sure be the weird, clingy, psycho girl all guys dread!!
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Like attracts like, in my case :laugh: Fortunately I found one I can't let go :smooched:
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    That doesn't make him less of a person or less worthy of having a girlfriend. Weirdos are the most awesome people I know.
    People like you deserve a :flowerforyou:

    you both do :bigsmile: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Angelrica
    Angelrica Posts: 14 Member
    YES!! I SEEM to Attract the pedophiles. I have a 17 year old daughter, and she is Beautiful. I stay away from Creepers. No Thank you. I would rather be alone than put my little girl in Danger.
  • DJManos
    DJManos Posts: 220
    I'm not THAT wierd....
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  • jkowula
    jkowula Posts: 447
    <<<<<<<< Total Weirdo!
  • monstergirl14
    monstergirl14 Posts: 345 Member
    It's probably your aura. My sister, who's a fantastic person, used to have a wall in front of her. She just gave out the vibe "F*** YOU, YOU DON'T KNOW ME." After some careful consideration, she changed. Haha. Now there are many types of guys around her. It could be your attitude, your confidence, your demeanor, anything. Ask a male friend his true opinion, they are good at this stuff lol
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    I am only attracted to weird, odd, interesting ,fascinating probably slightly mentally unstable people
  • fuzilojak
    fuzilojak Posts: 269 Member
    From the description of the "weirdos" you appear to attract I'd say a part of it is that any positive interaction from you would open the door to them assuming you're interested. While I wouldn't say you should be rude to them but perhaps look at a way to make it more clear that you're not interested.

    I've always been the opposite. I was picked on by girls when I was younger so when I lost a lot of weight my senior year in high school I was completely clueless when they were actually flirting with me so I just assumed they were teasing me. Even now I assume they're just being nice. :)

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