My husband cheating

annmarie4ever
annmarie4ever Posts: 31
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Today i found out my husband has been attempting to cheat on me. I found it hidden in my pc. I am so mad I dont know what to do. He swears he hasnt but trying is the same as doing as far as I am concerned. my son just died 2 months ago tomorrow and now this,
What would you do. I know he has he;; to pay!!!!!
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Replies

  • Today i found out my husband has been attempting to cheat on me. I found it hidden in my pc. I am so mad I dont know what to do. He swears he hasnt but trying is the same as doing as far as I am concerned. my son just died 2 months ago tomorrow and now this,
    What would you do. I know he has he;; to pay!!!!!
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
    omg :brokenheart: my heart is breaking for you about your son honey!....I am sooooo very sorry!!!

    and I'd find out for sure if it were me and then omg...I don't know what I'd do girl.....sigh....big big big hugs honey!

    Ali :flowerforyou:

    we're here for you honey!
  • pavang82
    pavang82 Posts: 454 Member
    sorry to hear about the loss of your son. what happened???
  • my son was 19 and he committed suicide.
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
    I'm soooo sorry sweetie!! What a difficult time - I'm praying for you and sending you hugs!! We're here for you!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • tanzmamma
    tanzmamma Posts: 368 Member
    HUGS on both :(:(

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
    *mello gathers all MFPers in a HUGE circle for a HUGE group hug for annmarie*
  • pavang82
    pavang82 Posts: 454 Member
    my son was 19 and he committed suicide.

    that's so sad...i hope everything works out for you.
  • CrystalBella
    CrystalBella Posts: 848 Member
    I'm sorry to here about your loss with your son. Also about your hubbs. Just thinking about your son dying I'm assuming that is hard on the both of you and just maybe he was being completely outside his body and was using the computer as a release. Not excusing the fact that he had ideas of cheating. That's just wrong. Maybe you two should try some therapy. I hope it works out for you both!
    GodBless! :flowerforyou:
  • My heart go's out to you, Hugs and more Hugs coming your way with kisses"):flowerforyou:
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    First off and most importantly I am so sorry you lost your son I can't imagine how you must be feeling so my heart goes out to you


    Well my only advice to you and this is my personal opinion that if he tried it's not going to change. And this is just by my experience my ex husband (divorce was final last week) did it 3 times each time I forgave and we worked on it. I finally realized it wasnt going to get any better. I am so sorry this has happened to you I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone

    I know that only you can make the decision for u and realize what is best I know when I was going through mine my friends and family kepted saying why dont you do counseling why dont you do this or that....they didnt know the whole story or the number of times and how it hurt and took a strain on me and my health. You make the decision for you, please don't listen to others literally.... you know you.... that is why I said that the above is my personal opinion. I just know what i had to do and I am sure you will too.

    Lots of love and thoughts of you today I hope you make a decision you are happy with
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    OMG!! :cry: :brokenheart: I am so so sorry honey. First of all I think you need to find out for sure with your husband show him exactly what your proof is. Then regardless of what that is. I would find some counselling if I were you. Those are both big big things to go through. Even if he's not....Your son alone is something that a counselor might help you get through....and big big hugs for you. Be strong and have faith. We are here for u.:flowerforyou:
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
    Your family has been under a great deal of stress it sounds like, not taking up for hubby AT ALL:noway: , but from a psychological standpoint it's common that he might try to reach out to someone outside of your family troubles.....but he needs to turn to you, not away from you right now. Don't boot him just yet, try to work it out.
  • Words fail me. I'm so sorry about your son. I would concentrate on getting through your grief and put this ridiculously horrible thing with your husband on a shelf in a box for awhile. Could it be that he's reacting (incredibly badly) to his son's death?
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Ooof, what a year. :brokenheart: :brokenheart:

    Hugs to you! :flowerforyou:
  • goochinator
    goochinator Posts: 383 Member
    I'm so sorry!!

    Its hard to say what you should do, only you know that best- but what about counseling? Maybe that would help you both with the grief you are still going through and the straying issue as well. Perhaps they are intertwined?
    In any case, talk it out as much as you can- He does owe you honesty if nothing else...

    (((HGUS)))
  • gaelbrady
    gaelbrady Posts: 68 Member
    :brokenheart: My heart breaks for you, honey! I'm so sorry. No one should have to bury a child. No one should lose a child. I think a lot of this is stress on both parts. Counseling may help. You may want to ask him about it. Talk out what you can. Communication is key. I'm thinking about you. ((HUGS))
  • kleimola
    kleimola Posts: 210 Member
    :cry: :brokenheart: I am so so sorry you are goign through this. I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling at the loss of your son and now this. Do you think maybe this is your husbands way of dealing with the loss? I would suggest maybe counseling will help. I am sending you hugs and kisses and lots of prayers for you.
  • Benson
    Benson Posts: 444
    I find it very difficult to comment on others lives but I do know the pain of 'young' lost lives and my heart goes out to you and yours. We all grieve in different ways, however I don't think that planned infidelity is an acceptable one. It would be too sad if you lost each other as well.

    Keep you chin up and your path clear
  • neome90
    neome90 Posts: 420
    :brokenheart: OMG.. I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I am also very sorry to hear about your husband. We are here for you. :flowerforyou: neome90
  • cwjett
    cwjett Posts: 189 Member
    Your family has been under a great deal of stress it sounds like, not taking up for hubby AT ALL:noway: , but from a psychological standpoint it's common that he might try to reach out to someone outside of your family troubles.....but he needs to turn to you, not away from you right now. Don't boot him just yet, try to work it out.

    I was thinking the same thing, it may be his way to "escape" the pain of losing a child.
    I'm sure there is additional stress in your relationship now and maybe the communication and sex life is not what it once was but that is understandable after what you are going through.
    You definitely need to talk to him before it gets worse and find out what things you can work on together.
    I would advise counseling and I find that the best counseling comes from a pastor and the bible if you attend church.
    Good luck to you!! :flowerforyou:
  • thalli1
    thalli1 Posts: 332 Member
    I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better. Nobody deserves to be kicked when they are down like that. I hope something tremendous happens for you. Like the news story I heard a few years back where a lady had been dumped by her boyfriend and a few weeks later she won several million in the lottery. I loved that story, and always thought that was so perfect. Yeah, you should go buy a lottery ticket. Take care of yourself.:flowerforyou:
  • At first when I read the subject of your post I thought he must be cheating on his diet or something....but whoa! I'd say leave, but thats easier said than done....I know that from experience! Prehaps he is acting out due to the death of a son...there is no way to tell...It's hard to give advice about a relationship when you don't know much about the couple. TRY to stay calm....fighting isnt going to fix anything. Try to get him to open up and be honest about whats going on with him emotionally. Counseling wouldn't hurt, but both have to be willing to listen even if you don't want to hear what the other is saying. My heart goes out to you...if he doesn't want to get help with you at least get some for yourself. You have a lot on you right now just dealing with the death of a child...and now this! :brokenheart: I'm very sorry. If you ever want to just chat one on one, my yahoo screenname is brokensoul376

    Toni D:flowerforyou:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Oh, Annmarie, I'm so sorry to hear about your son and your husband. I couldn't imagine losing one of my kids. No advice about your husband but please know you're in my prayers. May God bless you and give you comfort. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Betty
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    I am so sorry to hear about your son, and now this with your husband? Not to excuse his behavior AT ALL, but I do think sometimes people do crazy things when racked with grief. I know when my mom died, as much as I wanted to rely on my family for support, it was hard because they lost her too, and my grief brought up their grief....my dad lost his wife, my grandparents lost their daughter.....it was very hard to lean on someone who was just as debilitated by the loss as I was.

    I think counselinig is defintely a good place to start, to help save your marriage and also help you deal with the loss of your son. My heart goes out to you, you'll be in my prayers.:heart:
  • emmab3ar
    emmab3ar Posts: 110 Member
    I'm sorry to hear about your loss and your husband. I will keep you in my prayers. :flowerforyou:
  • GinaB30
    GinaB30 Posts: 725 Member
    Wow, I'm so so sorry to hear about everything that has been happening....(((HUGS)))
    This must be such a hard time for you....
    I hope that some how things work out.
  • My son wasnt my husbands nor did they have a close relationship so I cant excuse him there. BTW I confronted him on the phone and he admitted to trying using the excuse hed never ACTUALLY DID ANYTHING. You thought it you went looking for it so as far as I am concerned you did it. i told him the only reason he didnt do anything is because no one took him up on it.
    What comes around goes around.
  • jlwhelan1
    jlwhelan1 Posts: 664
    So sorry you are going through so much right now.
    No advice, just my support and good wishes.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    I'm SO sorry for the loss of your son and for the hurt you are going through with your husband. I can't even imagine going through either! I don't think I have words that can make things better but just know you are in my thoughts and prayers!!

    -Tami
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