I'm eating healthy, but my spouse isn't

Not what he eats, but how much. He cares about the quality of the food we eat just as much as I do but he can just eat so much of it. It kind of annoys me that he never has to worry about how much he's eating... he's very active though. He frames houses for a living, whereas I have a desk job. When we cook he always wants to add things to our food that will make it "better" but adds a lot of calories... like any type of sauce he will add heavy cream to it, and stuff like that. It sucks because he gets to enjoy food with more calories but by doing that, my portion sizes get smaller and smaller. But luckily I cook most of the time.

and also i eat fried chicken and chinese food. I just eat less of it. I might be naive but I don't understand what's so bad about fried chicken? we use whole wheat flour and natural seasonings. The oil adds a lot of calories but I didn't think oil was necessarily bad for you. We normally just use the breasts and cut them into little chicken strips. I can eat like 3 chicken strips for about 300 calories.

I get this!!! My husband is 6'3 and 190lbs, and I have 5 kids. For the most part no one in my family has a choice. I cook ALL the food and make my husband lunches. I also do ALL the shopping. I am only a month in. So I have started them all off slow. I am not making anyone snack on carrot sticks and stuff, I just haven't bought any junk, but kept their meals the same. After about two weeks of that I started switching up their stuff. My kids are snacking on fruit, cheese sticks, and jerky instead of chips. Oh, and I am gonna make pb greek yogurt dip for sliced apples for them next week. My husband usually takes oatmeal (packet of apple raisin oatmeal) to work, and I started cooking up a big batch of steel cut oats, and putting it in the fridge. I make his oatmeal now with protein powder, no sugar, cinnamon, and raisins. He said it took him a few days but now he is actually liking it. I made spaghetti for dinner and didn't make bread, no one complained. So maybe you could take over meal preparation and start small. Get better snacks but something that he likes, and then once a week bring home his Chinese food that he loves. That's what I do.

Oh! One more thing. Don't eat food you don't like just cause it's "diet." Thank you Jesus, I am changing my life! I eat things I like, if I want something I figure out how many calories it has and then adjust my day accordingly. I eat pizza, peanut butter pancakes, tea and toast with "gasp" real butter. That is the beauty of counting calories. I have tried dieting for YEARS! I can't ever stick with anything. Low carb - they eat pizza. Low fat - they eat fried chicken. Ugh! No wonder I couldn't do it! This time around I am counting my calories and thank you Lord I am sticking with and I don't feel deprived or want to quit. My usually quit time is 2 weeks. So if you aren't eating stuff you actually like, then you will fail. Just make what you like healthier and then eat a little less of it.

Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Agree'd, but I gotta Add, the Chinese food I ate in China... not even the same ball park as the "chinese food" she's talking about. If millions of chinese people ate that crap every day... China wouldnt be the same. at all.

Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.

Lol, so Chinese food that's eaten by employees in Chinese restaurants (yes they eat there and that food) with the lean waiters/waitresses isn't really Chinese food? Heck I go to China Town in SF often and it seems that lots of Chinese people eat the same exact foods that served in restaurants there.
They just don't eat a whole order to themselves. They "share" it with 2-3 other people.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Exactly this.

I. For the most part no one in my family has a choice. I cook ALL the food and make my husband lunches. I also do ALL the shopping.

You are fortunate that yours cooperates. My husband goes out and buys his own junk food. He won't eat fruits, or vegs not on his "approved" list even if they are served to him. One time he was at my parent's house and saw my mom cooking chili. He doesn't like beans. Without a word, he walked out the door and drove to Burger King-- which of course offended my family, and he couldn't understand why.
I have been thinking of getting that book "The Sneaky Chef" which has recipes for getting vegs into your kids' food without them knowing it. I would have to hide the book from him. If he knows something is there that he doesn't like, he will refuse to eat it even if he can't taste it. It's like feeding a picky toddler.

Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.

Depends on where you go. Not all "takeout" places are created the same.

I know, as I live in NYC, one of the most diverse culinary cites on planet Earth. I live two and a half blocks from the Brooklyn Chinatown, where lots of true Chinese cuisine is served.

But lets not nitpick here. We all know the vast majority of "Chinese food" served in the west is not authentic Chinese food eaten by "millions" of actual Chinese people, simply because there are a rare percentage of authentic Chinese food places.

I live in Queens and I know. *shrug* Doesn't make one or the other "healthier" or "unhealthier".

Still, not the point.

Saying that Chinese people are "fine" eating "Chinese food" every day is a fallacy because they are not eating the western version "every day". That's like saying Japanese people stay so thin by eating the western version of sushi. Except no, they don't stay thin eating fried philadelphia cream cheese rolls every day.

I'm not having an argument about what's "healthy". I'm just correcting a culinary fallacy.

Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.

Depends on where you go. Not all "takeout" places are created the same.

I know, as I live in NYC, one of the most diverse culinary cites on planet Earth. I live two and a half blocks from the Brooklyn Chinatown, where lots of true Chinese cuisine is served.

But lets not nitpick here. We all know the vast majority of "Chinese food" served in the west is not authentic Chinese food eaten by "millions" of actual Chinese people, simply because there are a rare percentage of authentic Chinese food places.

I live in Queens and I know. *shrug* Doesn't make one or the other "healthier" or "unhealthier".

Still, not the point.

Saying that Chinese people are "fine" eating "Chinese food" every day is a fallacy because they are not eating the western version "every day". That's like saying Japanese people stay so thin by eating the western version of sushi. Except no, they don't stay thin eating fried philadelphia cream cheese rolls every day.

I'm not having an argument about what's "healthy". I'm just correcting a culinary fallacy.

Then what is the point other than to argue semantics?

A. I don't have to explain any "point" to you regarding what I chose to post.
B. I didn't start this "argument". I responded to another poster entirely on the difference between the two, and you felt the need to step in and contribute your opinion on my post.

Now I'm moving on.

DH & I started out together trying to change our eating habits to healthier choices and lose weight. I'm well on my way to success whereas he lasted only a couple weeks. He works and eats fast food for his lunch everyday, refuses to take a lunch mostly because he hates sandwiches and doesn't have access to a microwave. Plus, it's his chance to 'get away' from the office for an hour. I don't work so I'm on my own for all my meals except for in the evening when I cook for both of us. For our shared meal, I just use my scales to weigh portions and don't add the same things to the meal.

For instance, if we're having spaghetti & garlic cheese bread he'll have a big plate with two pieces of bread with an RC cola and I'll have a measured portion with one piece of the bread that I've prepared with less butter, cheese etc., and just water to drink. Most nights after the meal we have Dove chocolates for 'dessert.' Well, I have one, he usually has 2-3. Every morning we both have a slice of cinnamon raisin bread too before he goes to work. I just weigh the butter on mine. I purposely save calories for this. These two things have become kind of like a, 'love ritual' I guess you could say for us. hehe

Weekends are a bit different. I prepare all our meals then, but sometimes we don't share them. I don't always want the same thing he does, so I just make myself something else. No biggie.

It's all about moderation and portion control for me, I don't cut anything out of my diet. EXCEPT RC cola. It's like candy to me, I gained A LOT of my weight from drinking a six-pack or more a day of that stuff. o.O

Anyway, I don't chastise him about his diet or try to push him to eat healthier, he knows he'd be better off, he's a big boy. He just chooses not to right now. Maybe one day he'll try again and succeed, but until then, I respect his wishes. It works for us.

I deal with it. I've found that the 'low calorie' meals at restaurants, for example, are often just as tasty or tastier than the burgers and fries I used to order... and if I crave burgers and fries, I make my own healthier versions at home... so it works.

Just have something equally delicious but healthier. Win/win. You don't have to stuff yourself on snap peas and carrots to lose weight.

Btw, fwiw, every time I go to an American "Chinese" restaurant the Chinese staff are eating vegetables, plain rice, fruit, stuff like that. I've noticed that people from China who came here later in life have very different tastes and appetites than us (note: generalization). My best friend from Shenzhen went to dinner with me and a few other friends. We all ate a good amount, she ordered a single piece of fish and split it with the other Chinese girl, lol. @the girl who said something like one isn't healthier than the other: Btw, just because you can lose weight eating it because of its calories does NOT make it a HEALTHY choice. Using that logic dictates all skinny people are healthy because they're eating low calories, right? Wrong. There are bad choices for your health and good choices and it doesn't always correspond to the ability to lose weight with the food.

My husband eats unhealthy things because that's all he can eat right now. He's getting a bunch of surgery on his mouth and he can only eat soft things like spaghettios, milkshakes, pudding. He does enjoy my low-carb chili though. But overall, I don't mind and I make him his meal and I prepare my keto-friendly meal.

It's your diet, not his. You can't get mad at him because you are eating better.

There are a lot of soft things he can eat without going into the 'junk food' category - protein shakes, fruit smoothies, mashed potatoes, yogurt, home cooked pasta, and pretty much anything can be put into a blender.

Btw, fwiw, every time I go to an American "Chinese" restaurant the Chinese staff are eating vegetables, plain rice, fruit, stuff like that. I've noticed that people from China who came here later in life have very different tastes and appetites than us (note: generalization). My best friend from Shenzhen went to dinner with me and a few other friends. We all ate a good amount, she ordered a single piece of fish and split it with the other Chinese girl, lol. @the girl who said something like one isn't healthier than the other: Btw, just because you can lose weight eating it because of its calories does NOT make it a HEALTHY choice. Using that logic dictates all skinny people are healthy because they're eating low calories, right? Wrong. There are bad choices for your health and good choices and it doesn't always correspond to the ability to lose weight with the food.

No you're wrong. Sorry. There is no such thing as bad food, just too much food.

Btw, fwiw, every time I go to an American "Chinese" restaurant the Chinese staff are eating vegetables, plain rice, fruit, stuff like that. I've noticed that people from China who came here later in life have very different tastes and appetites than us (note: generalization). My best friend from Shenzhen went to dinner with me and a few other friends. We all ate a good amount, she ordered a single piece of fish and split it with the other Chinese girl, lol. @the girl who said something like one isn't healthier than the other: Btw, just because you can lose weight eating it because of its calories does NOT make it a HEALTHY choice. Using that logic dictates all skinny people are healthy because they're eating low calories, right? Wrong. There are bad choices for your health and good choices and it doesn't always correspond to the ability to lose weight with the food.

No you're wrong. Sorry. There is no such thing as bad food, just too much food.

Oh okay.

My wife and I typically eat the same things, but the issue is portion control. I limit my caloric intake, eliminted soda from my life and work out moderatly and lose weight. My wife, will buy candy for me, unhealthy choices and gets mad when I do not eat them. She does struggle with her weight, now that we have had kids, and its hard to watch her make poor choices, but I find, when I say something, I am wrong, but then when I dont say something I am still wrong.....lol. But its my lifestyle choice to be healthier and find my old body, again.

Be strong!