I'm eating healthy, but my spouse isn't

Options
24

Replies

  • Alassonde
    Alassonde Posts: 228 Member
    Options
    That's my family. My husband and kids can all eat as much as they want of whatever they want--my husband works out a lot and the kids are all naturally thin--but if I ate like they do I'd be obese. My husband is the cook, and he usually cooks healthy meals, but when he doesn't I just make something separate for myself. I don't usually get too tempted, because the most unhealthy thing he makes fairly often is pizza and I don't even really like pizza. He doesn't get offended if I make myself something so it works out.
  • must_deflate
    must_deflate Posts: 183 Member
    Options
    Yes! But I don't feel jealous about his choices, I feel concerned. I wish he was on board as much as me to get our lives on a healthy track for our entire family.... BUT I'm not giving up or giving in. I will at least try and lead by example. :)

    Yeah, same here. My husband also drinks a lot of beer. He's probably 30 or 40 lbs overweight. He works out and has big muscles, and he thinks that makes the fat gut OK.
    He won't eat fruit. He only eats a limited range of vegetables.

    I have as much as told him that if his health fails I will have some resentment about having to take care of him-- because it would be self-inflicted.
    The irony is that his dad's health failed before it should have (big beer gut and overweight), and my husband felt resentment about taking care of *him*-- because it was self-inflicted. (disclaimer-- We did the best we could for his dad and loved him, but there was indeed some resentment there.)
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    Options
    I eat the same thing my husband does, every day. I don't see foods as healthy our unhealthy. I focus on nutrient density, which typically means whole foods but that doesn't restrict me from enjoying myself. That's how I deal with it. If we choose fast food for dinner, I find things that work with my calorie and macro limits.
  • ninja8tofu
    ninja8tofu Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    It doesn't really bother me. My bf and I have always had different food tastes (been together 11 years). My biggest problem has always been portion control. I always ate quite a bit healthier than him, I just ate way more than I should have. His eating habits didn't really "show" on him until he turned 30. Actually, sometimes he comments how good my food looks and how tired of junk food he is and will eat what I make instead of doing his usual, so sometimes it goes the other way.
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    Options
    No, because I don't deprive myself, it can lead to binging. I eat what I want, I just make sure I stay within my calorie goal and hit my macros.

    Same here. Everything in moderation. Depriving myself leads to binge eating so I just allow myself things I enjoy and just keep within calorie count.
  • pettychia
    pettychia Posts: 109 Member
    Options
    Anybody else find it hard to resist temptation with an unhealthy spouse? When I'm eating carrots and snap peas and my husband is next to me enjoying his fried chicken or Chinese food.... AHHHH!!!!! Lol
    Sure, it's frustrating. One thing you could try is to cook for the two of you more often. Make healthy food -- but make a lot of it so he's not stuck hungry afterwards. Even if he eats a whole serving more than you do, you're both doing better.

    ETA: Do get some filling carbs and protein in there... not just snap peas and carrots! A good "plate" is filled with 50% vegetables, 30% lean protein and 20% starch. Healthy starches would be baked potato, whole-wheat bread, brown rice, quinoa...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,709 Member
    Options
    Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.
    Lol, so Chinese food that's eaten by employees in Chinese restaurants (yes they eat there and that food) with the lean waiters/waitresses isn't really Chinese food? Heck I go to China Town in SF often and it seems that lots of Chinese people eat the same exact foods that served in restaurants there.
    They just don't eat a whole order to themselves. They "share" it with 2-3 other people.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,709 Member
    Options
    Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I should have specified Western Chinese food. I'm sorry but most Chinese people probably wouldn't eat it! Lol it's all fried and soaked in oil!
    Sorry, but they do eat the food cooked in their own restaurants. They don't bag their lunch to bring to work.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    Options
    If I was just eating snap peas and carrots when there was fried chicken or chinese food in the area, I would probably hurt someone. That just sounds miserable.

    Now my husband loves his treats even more than I do, if he wants to eat them that is his choice, if I want to join in and eat it that's my choice to either make it fit in my day, go over for the day, or have something else. But normally we eat the same thing, I just eat less.

    My husband isn't the one who made the choice to lose weight, I did so I take responsibility for my choices and he is responsible for his.
  • RoyalBlossm
    RoyalBlossm Posts: 6
    Options
    OMG lol, yes my honey does this to me a lot. If I'm allowed 6 rice cakes, he's eating a family bag of chips, if I'm eating salad he's eating hot wings, which only makes me angry with the salad for not being hot wings lol. It's hard but if you can suffer through it should make you feel stronger and empowered to sticking to your healthy eating.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    Options
    Not what he eats, but how much. He cares about the quality of the food we eat just as much as I do but he can just eat so much of it. It kind of annoys me that he never has to worry about how much he's eating... he's very active though. He frames houses for a living, whereas I have a desk job. When we cook he always wants to add things to our food that will make it "better" but adds a lot of calories... like any type of sauce he will add heavy cream to it, and stuff like that. It sucks because he gets to enjoy food with more calories but by doing that, my portion sizes get smaller and smaller. But luckily I cook most of the time.

    and also i eat fried chicken and chinese food. I just eat less of it. I might be naive but I don't understand what's so bad about fried chicken? we use whole wheat flour and natural seasonings. The oil adds a lot of calories but I didn't think oil was necessarily bad for you. We normally just use the breasts and cut them into little chicken strips. I can eat like 3 chicken strips for about 300 calories.
  • RoyalBlossm
    RoyalBlossm Posts: 6
    Options
    It's hard for me being the only one dieting in my home and there are only three of us. My friends will invite me out to dinner but I don't want to spend 12bucks on a salad I can eat at home. I can't make my honey diet if he doesn't need it, but I do notice when I eat better I have more energy and he is more sluggish.
  • Careypea
    Careypea Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    I get this!!! My husband is 6'3 and 190lbs, and I have 5 kids. For the most part no one in my family has a choice. I cook ALL the food and make my husband lunches. I also do ALL the shopping. I am only a month in. So I have started them all off slow. I am not making anyone snack on carrot sticks and stuff, I just haven't bought any junk, but kept their meals the same. After about two weeks of that I started switching up their stuff. My kids are snacking on fruit, cheese sticks, and jerky instead of chips. Oh, and I am gonna make pb greek yogurt dip for sliced apples for them next week. My husband usually takes oatmeal (packet of apple raisin oatmeal) to work, and I started cooking up a big batch of steel cut oats, and putting it in the fridge. I make his oatmeal now with protein powder, no sugar, cinnamon, and raisins. He said it took him a few days but now he is actually liking it. I made spaghetti for dinner and didn't make bread, no one complained. So maybe you could take over meal preparation and start small. Get better snacks but something that he likes, and then once a week bring home his Chinese food that he loves. That's what I do.
  • AdelaideNat
    AdelaideNat Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    My husband isn't the one who made the choice to lose weight, I did so I take responsibility for my choices and he is responsible for his.

    Same goes on in my household ! Hubby's a big boy who really could afford to shed some 30-40 pounds but he is an adult and is the "master of his domain" as far as food & exercise goes. I do not cook separate dinners for him and I, I just control my portions for that meal. I however have free rein on what I have for brekkie, lunch and snacks, which helps me attain my goal :-)
  • Careypea
    Careypea Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    Oh! One more thing. Don't eat food you don't like just cause it's "diet." Thank you Jesus, I am changing my life! I eat things I like, if I want something I figure out how many calories it has and then adjust my day accordingly. I eat pizza, peanut butter pancakes, tea and toast with "gasp" real butter. That is the beauty of counting calories. I have tried dieting for YEARS! I can't ever stick with anything. Low carb - they eat pizza. Low fat - they eat fried chicken. Ugh! No wonder I couldn't do it! This time around I am counting my calories and thank you Lord I am sticking with and I don't feel deprived or want to quit. My usually quit time is 2 weeks. So if you aren't eating stuff you actually like, then you will fail. Just make what you like healthier and then eat a little less of it.
  • willdob3
    willdob3 Posts: 640 Member
    Options
    I'm single & live alone but I do not know another person in my real life that eats healthy. It doesn't bother me at all. I eat out and can comment on the fancy desserts they eat (and how good they look) w/o feeling deprived or left out. I have no desire to eat the way they eat. I intend to be healthy & fit and I intend to stay that way. For me, that means eating only healthy foods. I'm happy & satisfied eating this way. I was never happy or satisfied when I indulged the way others in my life do.
  • PHr34k0wt
    PHr34k0wt Posts: 218 Member
    Options
    Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    Agree'd, but I gotta Add, the Chinese food I ate in China... not even the same ball park as the "chinese food" she's talking about. If millions of chinese people ate that crap every day... China wouldnt be the same. at all.
  • PHr34k0wt
    PHr34k0wt Posts: 218 Member
    Options
    Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    Agree'd, but I gotta Add, the Chinese food I ate in China... not even the same ball park as the "chinese food" she's talking about. If millions of chinese people ate that crap every day... China wouldnt be the same. at all.
    Ah! read back and you quoted yourself anyways ahhaha :)
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Options
    Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.
    Lol, so Chinese food that's eaten by employees in Chinese restaurants (yes they eat there and that food) with the lean waiters/waitresses isn't really Chinese food? Heck I go to China Town in SF often and it seems that lots of Chinese people eat the same exact foods that served in restaurants there.
    They just don't eat a whole order to themselves. They "share" it with 2-3 other people.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Exactly this.
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
    Options
    All you can hope for is he someday sees the progress you have made and he decides to join you. He has to get his self motivated!!

    Basil

Categories