Wanting to be borderline skinny, why do people hate us?

lauraspberry
lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
in Chit-Chat
I want it for a reason, it is my body. When I ask for support, more poeple would bash me and tell me I have an eating disorder than those who actually help me out. Idk why. I thought MFP community was here to help each other through? I have a deep understanding of eating disorders, I am healthy mentally, physically and spiritually, I dont have body image problems, I haven't been in a drastic emotional rollercoaster in a long time, i am generally in my normal temperament so it's nearly impossible for me to get an eating disorder. Remember, anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are both psychiatric problems and not just some words you throw around slim people. it's just that I wanna be borderline skinny, that's it. It's for aesthetic reasons, and I hate having to explain why everytime I ask for people's help on some matters. I love to cook! i love to eat, i love food in general, I would never let myself starve. Jeez.

You don't know me, all you know is my weight, my height, how i look and my goals. That is not even half of me yet. i am disappointed at most people here in message boards. Might as well not ask for help here. That is some serious slim shaming, why is slim shaming okay and fat shaming rude? What's the difference? It's both pure evil.

I JUST HAD AN ORAL SURGERY PEOPLE. Here comes the criticisms, SORRY I cannot drink 1500 calories a day. And SORRY I cant open my mouth and it's hell. SORRY that I have to explain myself again. And I'm being very ranty about it. LOL
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Replies

  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    I think when you say "I would never starve myself" and people look at your diary and see you taking in 700 calories a day, they don't believe you. That would be my guess, anyway.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    Then again, I have to explain that I just had an oral surgery.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    That would make a big difference probably, if people knew that.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    You know what is weird, I posted something about asking if I can keep the weightloss I GOT FROM BEING UNABLE TO EAT BECAUSE OF an ORAL SURGERY and yet people still bash me and I was like "wow, did they just made conclusions about me and skipped theough my explanation" LOL while it is true that it is my fault that I didnt post that explanation here, sorry :flowerforyou:
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    The **** did I just read?
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
    Why do you care what other people think? If you want to be borederline skinny, then be it.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    Out of curiosity what was the oral surgery? If you had wisdom teeth removed then weight loss wouldn't really matter once you resume eating normally. If you had surgery on your jaw that means a long term liquid diet then maybe. If you continue to not eat properly.

    I'm not going to bash you or anyone else for that matter. Its your body & your choice. BUT! I get the impression you wouldn't be making a song & dance about it if you weren't chasing attention.. Just saying...
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    Because i was hoping for support on here. I need some help along the way too.
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    What is borderline skinny? Wouldn't that just be average? Is there such a thing as borderline, seeing as everyone has a pretty good range of average weight compared to height?
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    Out of curiosity what was the oral surgery? If you had wisdom teeth removed then weight loss wouldn't really matter once you resume eating normally. If you had surgery on your jaw that means a long term liquid diet then maybe. If you continue to not eat properly.

    I'm not going to bash you or anyone else for that matter. Its your body & your choice. BUT! I get the impression you wouldn't be making a song & dance about it if you weren't chasing attention.. Just saying...

    It's wisdom tooth surgery and one of the teeth has been stuck in my jaw, it was very deep, idk when I'll be able to eat. While it is true that it appears to be chasing attention, I agree with you, i re-read it. lol, I am just full of disappointments now because when I was weighing a lot before, I got all the support i needed, as I became smaller, that support gradually turned into hate. And i cant understand why, LOL I guess I am just too affected by everything that is. Lol :flowerforyou:
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
    In the words of the Rolling Stones, " You can't always get what you want". Maybe you are in the wrong place for that kind of support. I ask again, why do you care what people who don't know you think? You won't always get what you want where you think you should get it. It seems to me that you might be doubting your own choice to be "borderline skinny". If you were happy with that decision, what others think, say, do etc would mean nothing.
  • RobsGirl_lds
    RobsGirl_lds Posts: 211 Member
    This is a public forum and you will get responses from people who:
    -just read the title(tldr)
    -just skimmed the op
    -read the op but didn't pick up on all the info
    -Read op and understood what you were asking

    With all these people they will also have different challenges and backgrounds which will influence their responses.

    The internet is filled with rainbows of colored opinions, they just aren't always pretty
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    What is borderline skinny? Wouldn't that just be average? Is there such a thing as borderline, seeing as everyone has a pretty good range of average weight compared to height?

    I'm going to go out on a limb here but I'd assume "borderline skinny" means underweight BMI.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    What is borderline skinny? Wouldn't that just be average? Is there such a thing as borderline, seeing as everyone has a pretty good range of average weight compared to height?

    While that is my point, it is average! Nope, i mean somewhere around 19-20 bmi
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Look it's your life... Do what you want. Just stop expecting everyone to agree with you. MfP does provide support, it may not be what you want to hear, but that does not mean there is no support.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    Out of curiosity what was the oral surgery? If you had wisdom teeth removed then weight loss wouldn't really matter once you resume eating normally. If you had surgery on your jaw that means a long term liquid diet then maybe. If you continue to not eat properly.

    I'm not going to bash you or anyone else for that matter. Its your body & your choice. BUT! I get the impression you wouldn't be making a song & dance about it if you weren't chasing attention.. Just saying...

    It's wisdom tooth surgery and one of the teeth has been stuck in my jaw, it was very deep, idk when I'll be able to eat. While it is true that it appears to be chasing attention, I agree with you, i re-read it. lol, I am just full of disappointments now because when I was weighing a lot before, I got all the support i needed, as I became smaller, that support gradually turned into hate. And i cant understand why, LOL I guess I am just too affected by everything that is. Lol :flowerforyou:
  • j1wright
    j1wright Posts: 286 Member
    From your ticker, it looks like you want to weigh 120 pounds, I don't consider that drastically bad. I weigh less than that (barely) and I feel healthy.....although I ate McDonalds today. :) What are you needing help with that your getting mean comments on?
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    Look it's your life... Do what you want. Just stop expecting everyone to agree with you. MfP does provide support, it may not be what you want to hear, but that does not mean there is no support.

    I agree. It's your life. Do what you like! What's it matter what others think? Your life, your choices! :smile:
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    What is borderline skinny? Wouldn't that just be average? Is there such a thing as borderline, seeing as everyone has a pretty good range of average weight compared to height?

    While that is my point, it is average! Nope, i mean somewhere around 19-20 bmi

    OK that doesn't really sound to me as unhealthy or even underweight I guess it all depends on how you go about achieving that and if you realize that it may be impossible to keep up with a diet plan that will keep you there once you are there. If it's normal, comfortable and a lifestyle that will keep you healthy in all aspects than I see no problem with that. You know your body better than anyone, as long as you're not losing muscle mass and bone density due to any extreme measures you may need to take (this is not to include bulimia or anorexia) and you are not setting yourself up for unrealistic goals, then by all means that is your decision. You can't ask people to support your final goal if they don't agree with it though.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    Why do you care what other people think? If you want to be borederline skinny, then be it.

    can i get an amen? why do others have to agree with you and your viewpoint and support you? last time i checked the boards were for advice and sharing opinions and views. dont ask if you already have a closed mind to imput different then yours, or at least stop complaining. you go through the entire rant as if people are out to get you- which wouldn't matter or be an annoyance if you were mentally and spiritually strong really- you would just do you, stay positive and ignore the closed mindedness of others.

    in my opinion with my experiences (2 surgeries in last 5 months) you will gain the weight back after you recover-i'd bet a hundred dollars on it. starvation mode and water weight are getting your hopes up, it's going to hold onto what it can especially when food comes in much more abundance after you feel better (which it will).
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    What is borderline skinny? Wouldn't that just be average? Is there such a thing as borderline, seeing as everyone has a pretty good range of average weight compared to height?

    While that is my point, it is average! Nope, i mean somewhere around 19-20 bmi

    OK that doesn't really sound to me as unhealthy or even underweight I guess it all depends on how you go about achieving that and if you realize that it may be impossible to keep up with a diet plan that will keep you there once you are there. If it's normal, comfortable and a lifestyle that will keep you healthy in all aspects than I see no problem with that. You know your body better than anyone, as long as you're not losing muscle mass and bone density due to any extreme measures you may need to take (this is not to include bulimia or anorexia) and you are not setting yourself up for unrealistic goals, then by all means that is your decision. You can't ask people to support your final goal if they don't agree with it though.


    True, sometimes I just wanna see what works for other people, since it's better than googling i mean it's more personal, it's based on experience. But yeah I guess i am expecting too much from here, THANK YOU :flowerforyou:
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    I'm always amused by how "everyone is beautiful" and "love the body you have" applies to fat people, but not to slimmer ones!
  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
    I don't think people hate us, or those who you call "borderline skinny." I do think that was a weird way to describe someone with a BMI of 19-20 and it might rub others the wrong way. Some people associate "skinny" with unhealthy, or with young hysterical women who want attention. You may see some of them on here, who make threads about why they have to eat 1200 calories when they only eat 700-800, etc etc.

    My BMI is 19 and while I do feel skinny, I still feel healthy. I also only have a few more lbs to lose till I transition into maintenance so my calories are higher now than a couple months ago. I eat about 1400-1600 now for a 1/2 to 1 lb loss a week and will up my calories again in a month to 1600-1800 and let the rest of it jump off. Well, I HOPE very much to be eating 1700-1800 by May. The hard thing will be keeping up my exercise routine.

    I'm sure you will be able to eat your 1500 calories ( or less, or more give or take ) when your teeth heal. I don't think you have a problem, but again, the "borderline skinny" kind of sounds out of place and strange.

    But yeah, aim for the BMI of which you want to be, as long as it is healthy and you feel healthy.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    K, good to know.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    I don't think people hate us, or those who you call "borderline skinny." I do think that was a weird way to describe someone with a BMI of 19-20 and it might rub others the wrong way. Some people associate "skinny" with unhealthy, or with young hysterical women who want attention. You may see some of them on here, who make threads about why they have to eat 1200 calories when they only eat 700-800, etc etc.

    My BMI is 19 and while I do feel skinny, I still feel healthy. I also only have a few more lbs to lose till I transition into maintenance so my calories are higher now than a couple months ago. I eat about 1400-1600 now for a 1/2 to 1 lb loss a week and will up my calories again in a month to 1600-1800 and let the rest of it jump off. Well, I HOPE very much to be eating 1700-1800 by May. The hard thing will be keeping up my exercise routine.

    I'm sure you will be able to eat your 1500 calories ( or less, or more give or take ) when your teeth heal. I don't think you have a problem, but again, the "borderline skinny" kind of sounds out of place and strange.

    But yeah, aim for the BMI of which you want to be, as long as it is healthy and you feel healthy.

    Shouldve entitled it "wanting bmi 19-20..." You are right :)
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    I'm always amused by how "everyone is beautiful" and "love the body you have" applies to fat people, but not to slimmer ones!

    It applies to everyone... surround yourself with skinny women and they will discuss how every skinny woman is beautiful, surround yourself with those who have a little extra and they will discuss how extra is beautiful. And the two meet in the middle to contradict one another. Let's just focus on what IS beautiful and that is healthy. Different heights means different weight means different strokes for different folks. Everyone is biased in some form or fashion.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    I'm always amused by how "everyone is beautiful" and "love the body you have" applies to fat people, but not to slimmer ones!

    It applies to everyone... surround yourself with skinny women and they will discuss how every skinny woman is beautiful, surround yourself with those who have a little extra and they will discuss how extra is beautiful. And the two meet in the middle to contradict one another. Let's just focus on what IS beautiful and that is healthy. Different heights means different weight means different strokes for different folks. Everyone is biased in some form or fashion.

    I hope being unhealthy is beautiful too or I am fvcked
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    Where do some of you find these people that make you feel some type of way!? lol

    Is it what you attract?

    I do not get put down whether I want to be extremely thin, thick, overweight, or whatever. Guess I attract good folks online and off.

    Change up that energy and maybe some of you will stop attracting those who make you feel some type of way. lol
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    I'm always amused by how "everyone is beautiful" and "love the body you have" applies to fat people, but not to slimmer ones!


    It applies to everyone... surround yourself with skinny women and they will discuss how every skinny woman is beautiful, surround yourself with those who have a little extra and they will discuss how extra is beautiful. And the two meet in the middle to contradict one another. Let's just focus on what IS beautiful and that is healthy. Different heights means different weight means different strokes for different folks. Everyone is biased in some form or fashion.

    I hope being unhealthy is beautiful too or I am fvcked

    I think you read a little bit too much into what it means fitness wise to be healthy. You're talking mental or general health, I am talking fitness health.
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    Where do some of you find these people that make you feel some type of way!? lol

    Is it what you attract?

    I do not get put down whether I want to be extremely thin, thick, overweight, or whatever. Guess I attract good folks online and off.

    Change up that energy and maybe some of you will stop attracting those who make you feel some type of way. lol

    There are a few on this site that could definitely learn what positive energy is all about, you're right!

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