Getting blamed for someone else's overeating
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Meanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."
Lol, no. she's not like that all.
It's not a I live with my aunt and live under her rules. I actually live with my mom and pay rent, my aunt moved in with us. we are all adults. I just get blamed for it. If i bought the nacho dip a year ago, i'd still get blamed.
I like the get my own fridge idea might just do that.
not that this needs to be said AGAIN- but ESPECIALLY if she moved in- you shouldn't be required to jump through hoopes- she's staying as a guest and an adult- mark it as yours and that's it.
Ask her if she would steal someone else's cookies if she was at their house for an afternoon?
Probably not without asking. same deal.
its' not her food- she shouldn't be taking it- it's her responsibility to act like the grown *kitten* woman she is.0 -
A lot of people have trigger foods or even foods that they are allergic or intollerant too. It would be an opportunity to show love for her to do what you can to keep those foods out of sight for her. I'm sure if you feel compassion for her struggle you can get pretty creative. More love is always the answer with family members. It will come back tenfold, it does for me. :-)0
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100% not your fault. And if you aren't living with her, and she's living with YOU, you should be able to buy whatever food you want. She real world isn't going to coddle her and keep delicious food away from her. Buying a little fridge would be a really nice thing for you to do, but her overeating is totally not your fault!0
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sabotage!!! how COULD you???0
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this is how I feel.I can see why your aunt has the self-control of a toddler. Sounds like her entire family helps her blame everything but herself for her decisions.0 -
Meanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."
Lol this. I'm sorry. Definitely get a mini fridge!
i agree. get a mini fridge (with a lock!)....deal with what you have to deal with in the family fridge....and know that none of this is your fault!
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It sounds like your aunt needs to take some accountability for her own actions. IMO, if she had a big problem with it to begin with, she should have communicated it with you upfront. It's not your job to be a psychic and know what her food triggers are.0
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I fully admit that I have a food addiction...that's why I am here now. Just like with any other addiction, you have to learn how to manage it. A recovering alcoholic has to learn how to have dinner with a group of people where liquor is served and still say no. Just like I have learned that, just because my friends order appetizers, pasta, steak, and/or dessert, that doesn't mean that I have to. Or I can have a bite or two and push it away. If there were a severe allergy (such as nuts) that could send her to the hospital, then yes, there may need to be some rules to eliminate the possibility of contamination. But the aunt cannot hold the rest of the family hostage simply because she hasn't learned to manage her addiction.0
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Ummm...am I the only one completely grossed out that she ate two month old food? Hope her stomach was okay.0
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it was not 2 months old.0
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The reply about the aunt being on another thread, complaining about an unsupportive niece was funny, but it got me thinking . . .
How WOULD we all answer the aunt's thread?
"I'm trying to eat healthy, but I live with family members who buy high-calorie foods and leave them around. Don't they understand how hard it is for me to make good choices when that stuff is calling my name? I gotta see the queso dip every time I open the frig."
My guess is we'd encourage the aunt to talk to her niece, and ask her not to keep such tempting foods in common areas. So it sounds like getting your own mini frig is a great idea.
But rather you could do this - talk to your aunt. In a heartfelt way, ask her how she feels about such food choices in her view. Does it bother her? Does she want only healthy options and boring "ingredients" in the frig? The two of you can work out a great system. Maybe she'll even pay for half the frig.
Best wishes0 -
just break up0
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it was not 2 months old.
Sorry - I used to edit short stories. You're first line about Super Bowl, etc., is superfluous, thus my confusion.
Her overeating isn't your fault, btw. Carry on.
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A lot of NOPE in here.0
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Meanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."
Lol this. I'm sorry. Definitely get a mini fridge!
Pffft it's the aunt's problem - she can buy her own minifridge!
Exactly this.
Edited because I see you live in your aunt's house. Maaayyybe your mini fridge is in order. lol0 -
And somewhere a little kid is having to eat rolls with icing instead of real cupcakes.
LMAO!!!!
Saw that post.0 -
nearly 2 months ago on super bowl sunday, I bought queso cheese dip. we ate it over a few days. my aunt had a little bit of it. Fast forward to last week. There was Queso in the fridge. yesterday there was a giant jar, almost all eaten. i had barely had any. Last night my family told me I was the one at fault for my aunt overeating it this past week. I just do not understand how I can be to blame just because I bought it nearly 2 months ago. It seems me buying it made her want it 2 months later and she didn't have enough will power not to buy it.
If we are going this route, I once had an ice cream about 10 years ago, now i want another one. my diet is blown.. It's not right to blame someone else for the overeating you are doing. We need to take responsibility for our own actions.
Since I live with my aunt, I am now not allowed to buy certain things because of her overeating. I can't buy it and use the family fridge because then she will want it. I am so disheartened this morning. it seems everything I like eating, makes her want to overeat. I am going to have to accept this is not my problem.
1. It's entirely your aunt's fault for eating it. Period.
2. If you want to keep your own food you have to get your own place. If you live with her you live under her rules.
Sorry but where does living with someone dictate that YOU cant eat something you like & have them blame you for their lack of willpower? That's not a 'm house my rules' thing... thats a dictatorship0 -
Your aunt is ridiculous. It's easier to place blame on other people rather than accept reality. It's not just the queso that has caused her problems! That's like saying one failed test is the reason you didn't graduate high school.0
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nearly 2 months ago on super bowl sunday, I bought queso cheese dip. we ate it over a few days. my aunt had a little bit of it. Fast forward to last week. There was Queso in the fridge. yesterday there was a giant jar, almost all eaten. i had barely had any. Last night my family told me I was the one at fault for my aunt overeating it this past week. I just do not understand how I can be to blame just because I bought it nearly 2 months ago. It seems me buying it made her want it 2 months later and she didn't have enough will power not to buy it.
If we are going this route, I once had an ice cream about 10 years ago, now i want another one. my diet is blown.. It's not right to blame someone else for the overeating you are doing. We need to take responsibility for our own actions.
Since I live with my aunt, I am now not allowed to buy certain things because of her overeating. I can't buy it and use the family fridge because then she will want it. I am so disheartened this morning. it seems everything I like eating, makes her want to overeat. I am going to have to accept this is not my problem.
Sucks! But the best thing to do is get your own place OR your own mini fridge for your bedroom.0 -
I'd say if it's "Mum's" house, it's up to mum to choose the rules.
But yes, get yourself a fridge for yourself (maybe freecycle).
Much as many question, the reality is that many DO have serious issues with it. Whether it just be 'weakness' or more, is another matter. But then it's not very trendy to consider such things to be just 'weakness'.0 -
My husband used to blame me all the time..... He would get mad at me when I brought home flour tortillas. Finally I just cracked and gave him a piece of my mind!! No one is forcing food down his throat. We can eat everything in moderation. Just may need to work out a little harder..... Our son and I should not have to do without only because he's unhappy with HIS choices. He's the one that makes that final choice. Yes I want it... Or, NO it's not worth it......
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Wait, the cheese dip was still good after 2 months??? I would have thrown that out after a week.0
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Last night my family told me I was the one at fault for my aunt overeating it this past week.
I'm guessing your family are avid MFP posters, because there are 8 billion threads a week about how someone's failure to get un-fat is someone else's fault.
This is like the flip side of every one of those threads...
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My wife struggles hard with emotional eating and resisting her trigger foods.
I understand, I use to as well (trigger foods, not emotional eating). But I enjoy eating ice cream and other desserts here and there. I try and hide them from her, but a half gallon of ice cream is tough to put in the back of the fridge.
Now don't get me wrong, I adore my wife, and she is the best human being I've ever known. But when she tried to blame me for indulging in the sweets because I bought them in the house, I was having zero of that talk. I told her that I understand her difficulty, but that I am not to blame, that she is responsible for building up her own resolve, and reminded her that I absolutely have tried to keep certain foods out of her sight. I also refreshed her on the fact that that I never blamed her for my issues during the years where she was bringing in tons of sweets, knowing that I had very serious trouble managing a sweets issue that helped me pack on over 100 lbs. She just sees me as a stronger person, but I had to remind her that I wasn't always so strong, that it's taken many years of trial, error, and lots of failure to get to the point I am now where no food controls me.
I love my wife. I'll try, within reason, to keep food away from her that is an issue. But I have not, do not, and will not accept blame for another grown adult's food choices.0 -
Sorry - I used to edit short stories. You're first line about Super Bowl, etc., is superfluous, thus my confusion.
As I see it, here is the sequence of events:
1. OP buys queso dip for the Super Bowl. The dip is eaten up.
2. Aunt buys giant container of queso dip herself, 2 months later, and binges on it.
3. OP is blamed for having bought queso dip 2 months earlier, thus somehow "priming" her aunt for the binge.
OP, could you clarify whether that's what happened? Who bought the giant container of queso most recently?0 -
I'm craving chips and queso now. Thanks MFP0
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Sorry - I used to edit short stories. You're first line about Super Bowl, etc., is superfluous, thus my confusion.
As I see it, here is the sequence of events:
1. OP buys queso dip for the Super Bowl. The dip is eaten up.
2. Aunt buys giant container of queso dip herself, 2 months later, and binges on it.
3. OP is blamed for having bought queso dip 2 months earlier, thus somehow "priming" her aunt for the binge.
OP, could you clarify whether that's what happened? Who bought the giant container of queso most recently?
From the OP:she didn't have enough will power not to buy it.
So, from what I gather, the aunt bought it, ate it, and it's the OP's fault.0 -
LOLMeanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."
I so hate that term "journey" 0 -
POST IT NOTES! They are magic. Put post-its with your name on them on any 'special food' you bought just for yourself. Then if she eats it and has a winge, just come back at her about how you bought that especially for your own purposes and how rude it was for her to take it in the first place. It won't be 'universal food' you can get blamed for anymore. It's yours. And if she complains that 'just seeing it there was sooooo hard to resist, she just had to go and buy some for herself' then act amazed and ask how she manages to survive living in the real world; with all the tv ads, billboards, posters, radio commercials, store fronts and food shops in general she's surrounded with, that are constantly shoving high-fat high-sugar temptations at her.
Seriously; I think you need to snap and lose your *kitten* at her at least once, she needs to start taking some freakin' responsibility and leaving you alone!
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