What do you see in the mirror - Fat or Thin person?

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judymoving
judymoving Posts: 42
in Motivation and Support
How does self perception play a role in weight loss or weight gain?

Do you generally see yourself as really fat and disgusting or do you think you look okay and are okay with what you see in the mirror?

For me I think the reason I am fat is because I never wanted to believe that I was. If the scale went up, I would look in the mirror and still see curves. I am 48 and was a thin child. Weight gain started in my 20s, I was either biking, aerobics, running, or walking to stay in shape. When people would comment on my size, I would flat out tell them, "there is a lot of muscle under here." "I work out." "I just like to maintain a warm layer for the winter." or " I am like a retired football player, my fat and muscles just keep growing."

My self perception has always been one of strong will, can do spirit, and not weak. Being fat was for those weaklings who sat around all the time, eating Cheetos. So even my perception of obese people is skewed. Have I really become this? The scale at the doctor's office said 314 pounds. The most I have ever weighed. I am considered Morbidly Obese. I don't feel that way. I don't think I look that way. I see curves in the mirror and think I look good. But then it happened......

I was impressed with the success stories and pictures on MFP so I took mine. (This was after I had lost 11 pounds, feeling good, and was already trying to fit into the next size of jeans at the store.) Those pictures were a wake up call to me. WOW Who was that woman? I look like that?! I didn't want to leave the house, and I just could not believe how far I had let myself go. I know people had said things to me in the past, but I just shrugged it off as nothing.

This ignited my desire to research what success would mean for someone my size. I kept thinking I was beautiful, like the young 20 somethings, but in reality I am a very large 48 year old. My research allowed to understand the self perception has so much to do with weight loss. Either you know you are heavy and are trying to hide it, hide inside it or use it as a guard to keep from doing the things that you plainly just don't want to do. Or you accept yourself as you are and ignore the scale and the signs until you are out of control.

When does the mind and the body find the right combination? And is it that combination which makes being a healthy size possible?
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Replies

  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
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    I saw a thin person until I started to workout "just for fun" and did the photo. So then I got into better shape, but you know what? Then I could SEE the fat.

    Now I'm seeing the fat more. But I still think I look good, but could look better. This time I'm taking my time.

    I'm sure I don't see "me" how other's do. Most people think I'm petite. But you can still be petite and have a wide booty.
  • aprilflower18232
    aprilflower18232 Posts: 205 Member
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    I see a fat person still....in the mirror all I see is my huge stomach..
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    I see a beautiful strong woman with some curves in all the right places.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
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    Depends on the day for me .

    I sometimes think oh , wow I look great and sometimes it's a whole different story .

    I have these three skirts I just bought that one day I think look supergreat and another day the same skirts look terrible lol I have no idea why either .

    Most times I think I look good and can't wait till this stomach goes away though ....
  • mkcmurphy
    mkcmurphy Posts: 437 Member
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    It used to be "heavier/thinner" for me, but that idea has become a part of "more fit/less fit" . I like how "fitter" feels so much more!
  • JackieRL55
    JackieRL55 Posts: 144 Member
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    I can totally relate OP. I thought the same way you did but I was always big so I didn't know any better. Truth is that I never really had a "problem" being overweight. I always had friends, was popular, didn't really have issues dating so I thought I was fine. Also, I was surrounded by big women that were doing their thing. But then I started to realize that the weight was holding me back from doing some fun stuff I wanted to do so I took a picture of myself...NAKED and that's when I saw what I never really wanted to see. I blew up to 353 pounds and could barely move or walk a block without getting out of breath and I felt like I was dying.

    When I look in the mirror now I think I look amazing. I'm not trying to be vain but I appreciate where I am now and I look forward to seeing the changes in my body BUT looking at myself naked is hard. I did a lot of irreparable damage but I plan to work hard until I am healthy on the inside because that's the most important thing to me. The outside I can work with using advances in medical science LOL but the inside you can't fix unless you do it the good old fashioned way :)
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
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    I see a fitter-than-average 41-year-old with a lot of work to do. When you have a face like mine, you gotta keep your body looking good.
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
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    I have never really seen myself as either. When I started gaining a significant amount of weight in my early 20's, I stopped looking at "the whole" in the mirror. I look at parts – looked at my eyes, cheeks, mouth to do makeup; hair to do hair, clothes and not body to survey an outfit. Eventually I stopped having mirrors in my house, except for the vanity mirror in the bathroom. I tend to look at others the same way, which is why I never notice when they gain or lose weight. It is also why I don't really see the weight loss in myself that others point out. That said... I certainly saw myself in the "mirror" of other people's eyes when they looked at me, judged me cruelly when I was heavy. I knew I was obese, I could see it in pictures when it was impossible to look at just parts. Now? Now I see a freaking warrior.
  • hgycta
    hgycta Posts: 3,013 Member
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    I see a fat person trapped inside a thin body...
    That is why I'm here. So that fatty can't get out again and ruin this body again x)
    I may have lost my weight, but I don't think I'll ever lose that old fatty self that continues to live inside me, begging to have "just a little" more ice cream whenever I measure out a bowl >.>
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
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    It really depends every time I look in the mirror, sometimes I look thinner and sometimes I feel like I look chubbier. It's weird and I don't know if it's in my head or not. I am also at the in between stage somewhat close to my goal but I still got chubs so that's probably why as well, a little bloat on days like that can make me feel and look heavier to myself.
  • donohoe4
    donohoe4 Posts: 76 Member
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    Great topic! This has been on my mind a lot lately.

    For me, when I was at my heaviest (352 lbs), I didn't think I was that overweight. I feel like I wasn't critical of myself when I looked in the mirror. I didn't find my flaws and I thought I was happy with myself. After having my second daughter, I had a wakeup call and realized I needed to change.

    Now, after losing 160+ lbs, sometimes I still see a 350 lb person in the mirror even though I know I am far from that. I tend to find my flaws. Then, I see a before and after of myself and realize I shouldn't be so critical of myself and need to be proud of how far I've come. I am learning to accept my body for all that it is and realize how much healthier I am now.

    The mental struggle is by far the hardest part.
  • beachylove
    beachylove Posts: 137 Member
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    Ya know looking in the mirror before I decided to change my lifestyle I didnt love what I saw but didnt hate it either. I was overall happy, I have a great husband and friends.
    What I hated was pictures, they really showed me how far I had let myself go eventhough I would try to say oh I was standing wrong or that is just a bad photo I know the truth is that I had gotten to that weight I never thought I would.
    I had always been a fairly healthy young woman then kinda let myself go, I often say to myself I wish I could go back to the 130 pound me that thought I was fat and slap myself as I was in great shape back then.

    I have lost about 33lb but I still am seeing that fat woman I saw before, I know eventually that will change and I have seen some great progress thus far but I am still not the person I want to be. I am hoping my mind will catch up to see the good I have done thus far but I dont know when it will catch up.
  • cajunbandmom
    cajunbandmom Posts: 38 Member
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    Losing 202 pounds I look in the mirror and see a fat girl.. All I can focus on is the big tummy. Which 4 dr.s have told me is skin and no amount of working out will make it go away. I have to workout to burn calories and build a stronger body but for vanity reasons I will not get small than I am now.
  • PrincessWarior
    PrincessWarior Posts: 71 Member
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    I see a big tall girl, even if I'm at a healthy weight, I see myself chubby. I was never approached by men in bars or where so ever. I have a "intimidated size" I was told, I was bulky (boxing since the age of 21). Trying to slim down with more cardio, less protein.

    But still today I think and see the "big bone girl"............with 6 inches heels.
  • TexasDarling09
    TexasDarling09 Posts: 210 Member
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    Very frustrating topic for me. I know for a long time, I didn't see myself as big as I was. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was overweight, I just didn't realize how bad it was. I was 365+ at my heaviest and I've lost 100lbs to date. I've gone down from pushing past a size 28 to now a 16 in jeans, and dresses somewhere between a 20-22 from a 28. That being said, I think it's more frustrating to me to STILL have just as much weight to lose as I already have lost, and to feel like I don't still look like the very large lady I once was. I am still obese, I am still in plus size clothes, I'm still the biggest person in my family, so seeing what I've done as an accomplishment is very difficult. That's why I do before & after shots so much. That's the only way, quite literally, for me to see the difference. Looking in the mirror, I see none.
  • Zaftique
    Zaftique Posts: 599 Member
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    I think I'm fat, but I've never thought I was disgusting, even at my highest weight. It helps that from a young age, my daily morning ritual with my dad was the two of us looking into the mirror and saying "You are an amazing, wonderful, FABULOUS person, muah!"

    And yes, that continued into high school. ;) So the constant self-affirmation was nice even when I was a size 14 in 9th grade - I was simply more filled out than my friends, but it never bothered me. I never saw anything less than "gorgeous" in the mirror, no matter my physical appearance. (Although it was a tough call the year I got braces, glasses and a perm all in the space of a month.. ha! Oh 80s, never change.)

    Man, I miss Dad. -_-

    I don't do makeup, I'm rather a Yeti below the neck, I'm rockin' the cellulite, and this spring marks 9 years with a wonderful guy who thinks I'm beautiful (and who is a total hottie himself, yow!). When I look in the mirror I don't really see "fat" or "thin," I just see "hmm, this shirt doesn't go with these pants," or "dear god, wtf did I do to my hair?" or "must be jelly cuz jam don't shake." ;)
  • Zaftique
    Zaftique Posts: 599 Member
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    I see a big tall girl, even if I'm at a healthy weight, I see myself chubby. I was never approached by men in bars or where so ever. I have a "intimidated size" I was told, I was bulky (boxing since the age of 21). Trying to slim down with more cardio, less protein.

    But still today I think and see the "big bone girl"............with 6 inches heels.
    I'm not gonna lie, I wish I looked like a big tall Amazon goddess. You sound amazing.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    In the mirror - I have always felt that I looked OK. Even at my heaviest (307 lb) I seriously did not feel gross or disgusting. I think in some ways I have been one of those people who kind of lived in denial of how big I actually was because I have generally good self-esteem and enjoy wearing clothes/fashion etc (enjoyed it even at size 22, just as much as I do now at size 14).

    Most of my adult life has been between 240-270 lb and I'm really used to the way I look at those weights, so even now that I weigh less I don't feel that I look too drastically different. There is a bit of catch-up I still have not done. Sometimes I will be in line or walking behind a woman who is wearing leggings or something, and think "I wish my legs looked like that" and later on or the next day I will look in the mirror and realize my legs are as thin or maybe even smaller than the woman I was looking at. It's a weird thing, and I'm not saying that to brag -- it is genuinely troubling sometimes to feel like I'm still so much larger.

    HOWEVER...in photos it has been a different story - I have usually cringed and hated what I saw - ever since I was a preteen (I am 37 now). It has been a serious problem for me in a past job that led me to stay home from a few work-related events because I knew the office manager would post 20 unflattering photographs of everyone on the intranet and maybe even the internet (!!) That is the only thing I can ever remember really feeling ashamed and crying about being fat.

    Only recently, when I got back under 200 lb, have I started to be able to handle looking at and/or sharing full-length or seated photos of myself.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
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    I see 'in the middle' I don't think I look "skinny" and I def don't think I'm fat! I do see areas that I need to improve and strengthen. I feel I have a pretty good handle on how I feel with my body.
  • karmaheart
    karmaheart Posts: 75 Member
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    At 115 pounds, I am thin, but not toned at all. I am not happy with the way I look, but I am working on it. I just keep telling myself that my body is not a trash can and I need to eat better. I want to look my best this summer.

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