Question for those using dating sites....

porcelain_doll
porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
edited September 22 in Chit-Chat
If someone sends you a message and you are not interested in them, do you feel obligated to respond with anything? Or do you simply ignore them? I'm curious how others handle this "scenario."
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Replies

  • brooke0206
    brooke0206 Posts: 255 Member
    I dont use dating sites anymore BUT I did meet my Fiance on one! I was living in MI, he was in SC.... Things worked.... This was about 4 years ago.... Anyway, If I got messages from ppl I wasnt interested in I usually just ignored them. Hope that helps!
  • Alysgrma
    Alysgrma Posts: 365 Member
    Ignore or if there is a button "not interested" I would and have used it. :blushing:
  • MartiWillett
    MartiWillett Posts: 103 Member
    If you aren't interested there is no point in making them think that you are by responding :)
  • emflah
    emflah Posts: 2 Member
    As a guy who sent many of those messages before meeting the lady of my dreams on the site, I always appreciated getting a "thanks but no thanks" message in return. When you don't get any response you have the false hope that "maybe" she just hasn't seen the message yet. A "no thank you" response lets the guy know to move on.
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
    I respond just because there is another person on the other end and because I appreciate responses from others (although I don't feel you are obligated to respond). Usually I thank them for the message and then find a reason why I feel we wouldn't be a good match -- like distance or if there's something in their profile indicating we are looking for different things -- then I end by writing something like "good luck with your search."

    So yes, I do usually respond.
  • wittlemunchkin
    wittlemunchkin Posts: 10
    I reply to be nice...but then if they are weird and I'm still not interested, I ignore them. The conversation tends to die down after a while anyways.
    I only use okcupid, but not for dating. Just browsing :)
  • reesepieces
    reesepieces Posts: 253 Member
    As a guy who sent many of those messages before meeting the lady of my dreams on the site, I always appreciated getting a "thanks but no thanks" message in return. When you don't get any response you have the false hope that "maybe" she just hasn't seen the message yet. A "no thank you" response lets the guy know to move on.

    That would be something that I would do. At least nicely let them know that you are not interested.
  • HeatherShrinking
    HeatherShrinking Posts: 776 Member
    "Thanks for your interest, but I don't think we're a good match. Good luck on your future dating endeavors." Then block them.
  • fasttrack27
    fasttrack27 Posts: 324
    I would prefer a 'thanks but no thanks' reply. At least until they have a "dislike" thumbs-down button! Like someone else said, if they turn creepy then ignore and/or block them
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    What's happened to dating in RT? :smokin:
  • Reese2008
    Reese2008 Posts: 33
    I tried match earlier this year. At first I replied to everyone cuz I am just nice like that but learned quickly that if you are not interested at all, don't reply. trust me on this one :)
  • dominic272
    dominic272 Posts: 9
    Never used one but in my opinion...just being up front is a good policy I think. Not sure ignoring would make it go away. Just my 2 cents.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    I've never had someone respond to me saying they weren't interested. They usually just ignore me. Not complaining; I've done it to others, as well.
  • dominic272
    dominic272 Posts: 9
    I understand that but I think for me I would just want to be polite about it. Again that is just me. I just would like to know.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    What's happened to dating in RT? :smokin:
    This wasn't meant to come across as snarky, I apologize if it sounded that way:flowerforyou: I was just really curious is all..:flowerforyou:
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    As a guy who sent many of those messages before meeting the lady of my dreams on the site, I always appreciated getting a "thanks but no thanks" message in return. When you don't get any response you have the false hope that "maybe" she just hasn't seen the message yet. A "no thank you" response lets the guy know to move on.
    I'll bet that was a nice feeling to finally have your efforts prove to be fruitful!!
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    What's happened to dating in RT? :smokin:
    This wasn't mean to come across as snarky, I apologize if it sounded that way:flowerforyou: I was just really curious is all..:flowerforyou:
    Not at all. I am "old-fashioned" myself. The online dating is just another avenue I am "perusing" (again), I guess. :smile:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    What's happened to dating in RT? :smokin:
    This wasn't mean to come across as snarky, I apologize if it sounded that way:flowerforyou: I was just really curious is all..:flowerforyou:
    Not at all. I am "old-fashioned" myself. The online dating is just another avenue I am "perusing" (again), I guess. :smile:
    Got it:happy:
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    I understand that but I think for me I would just want to be polite about it. Again that is just me. I just would like to know.
    Yes, I can see it both ways. I don't like to come across as rude to people, either. I guess that's one of the reason I asked. I wanted to see which way the majority was leaning on this.
  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
    I used to ignore.

    Charmagne
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
    .
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
    I'm trying to reply to HealthyChanges, but it's not working ....

    Anyway, I would perfer to date in real life instead of online, but it's rather difficult to find single professional men when living in a small town. I've been lucky enough to find a good job in my hometown, but we are know for having the "brain drain" where people move away for college and don't come back. :( So online dating is something worth trying!
  • SweetPandora
    SweetPandora Posts: 660 Member
    I always replied to messages even if I wasn't interested. It was always flattering to know that someone took an interest in my profile and took the time to message me so I thought it was only proper to acknowledge it with a response. If they pursued it then I ignored them.

    I met my wonderful boyfriend of 4 years on an alternative dating site!

    Best of luck!

    Karen
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    a msg like never in a million years would you have a shot with me usually works lol
  • missouri_rain
    missouri_rain Posts: 560 Member
    a msg like never in a million years would you have a shot with me usually works lol



    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    MFP is the closest thing to a dating site I've ever been on. I haven't gotten a damn proposition yet. What's up? I'm not pretty enough? I want to feel pretty.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    MFP is the closest thing to a dating site I've ever been on. I haven't gotten a damn proposition yet. What's up? I'm not pretty enough? I want to feel pretty.
    LOL!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I never gave a "thanx but no thanx" because that usually ended in both of us being offended...just ignore them...or send them to a friend. I met my fiance on POF, after being on it for less than a year. Trust me, guard yourself, be picky, they can't see you and they can't stalk you.
  • just4peachy
    just4peachy Posts: 594 Member
    I ignored a lot and it worked with all of them but one. He was persistent and annoying almost to the point of blocking him. I finally relented to talking to him and I'm really glad I did, we've been together 3 years now.
    Makes me wonder how many other great guys I ignored for a silly reason.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I have a hard enough time replying to the ones that actualy strike my fancy much less the ones that don't.
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