Social life and dieting
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Three months ago I started impact (cross training) mix of cardio and crossfit and I absolutely love it. Since beginning of January I've lost 30 pounds from 185 to 155. I feel great, look great and couldn't be happier. But nevertheless it comes with it's downfalls. To lose the weight obviously was on a strict diet and quit drinking (which I believe to be a huge factor in weight loss). Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise. As well as I guess you can say I'm a bit scared to get back on the old train I was on, drinking, eating whatever comes to mind because I put so much hard work into these last few months...
You need more confidence in your decision making if you're afraid that hanging out with friends is going to put you "back on the old train" and spiraling out of control. A backbone is a wonderful thing to have.
ETA: If you go to a box, why not socialize with those people?0 -
I see no reason why you can't have a social life and be healthy at the same time, if you want to.
As others have said, if you simply have less in common with your friends these days, or if they have a bad attitude about the choices you've made recently, that's one thing. But if it really is just the beer and pizza holding you back, a little moderation goes a long way.
I only have one close friend that really enjoys being physically active when we hang out. The rest are much more inclined to want to go to the movies, to a bar, or out to eat. But I also do those things with my physically active friend. I can do that because the majority of the time, I'm sticking with my normal exercise routine, watching my nutrition, and staying within my calorie goal. A couple of beers or slices of pizza aren't going to affect my long-term progress.
And if you really don't want to eat a pizza or a burger, don't. Even when I'm out with friends, I have been known to order a large salad for dinner with dressing on the side just because I felt like I'd rather have a salad. You have to think not just about your short-term success but about your long-term goals and eat and exercise in a way that will help you reach them. If you're truly happy giving up the beer and pizza forever, that's cool. If you think you might want to incorporate these things back into your diet at some point in your life, then you'll want to find a way to balance it with your normal routine.0 -
My social life also took a nosedive when I was dieting, can't have wings and beer 2 - 3 nights a week!
My solution was get my current friends to do more active stuff I like, like paintball, hiking or working out. And then I made new friends who are more fit & active.
My current friends have said I've been a great influence on them, making them conscious of food choices and more likely to work out.0 -
I'm very fit and healthy and also have a social life that includes going out for beers with the fellas, hanging out on my patio grilling a burger and enjoying a margarita, etc. I find life is best enjoyed when you have balance...
Today is a great example of what I'm talking about...after a nice hardy breakfast of poached eggs, toast, bacon, and a banana out on my patio and enjoying a beautiful sunrise I am heading out on a 40 mile bike ride. When I get back I will enjoy my recovery smoothie and some lunch and take my eldest to the zoo for a couple hours. Around 4 this afternoon my sister and a couple other friends are coming over and we're going to fire up the grill and enjoy some margaritas and beers out on the patio and eat some steak. I will get up tomorrow morning and have some breakfast and go pump some iron soon after and then see where the day takes me.
Balance...moderation...they are beautiful things.0 -
Back during college it was the same situation for me. It ended up being my downfall and all my hard work was undone.
But, it was my fault. Not my friends, or their lifestyle. My lack of self-control was the problem.
It's unfortunate, but the only way you can make it work is to still hang out with your friends and practice self control.0 -
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
[. . .]
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
*claps*
Seriously though... the reason girls aren't going home with you probably has nothing to do with you being "too fit"...0 -
I've probably got more experience than most anybody here on this.
I have so many friends and family that don't even know what a gym looks like inside. Nor do they bother with how many calories are in a slice of pizza. They just eat and drink and party. And I party with them. I don't drink, and I only have a slice or 2 of pizza. We laugh, we BS, we hang out.
What I don't do is ever tell them "that's bad for you", "why are you eating that", "you need to work out", etc. I don't brag about how you good of shape I'm in, how much I can lift, etc.
The less of a "health nut" they see you as, the easier the social life.
I will say that Crossfit does have a mentality that is passed on that one should only eat a certain way (I hear it all the time from CFers) to achieve health and performance, when there are so many other variables involved. If you are one of those, then I can see why friends and family may be avoiding you.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I agree with this, if you don't push the healthy lifestyle, they won't push their lifestyle. My friends have been awesome as I changed my lifestyle. I even get some of them to do mud runs and 5Ks with me. That being said, I still go out for pizza and beer and chicken wings. I even go out and over indulge ever once in a while. I have also made new friends from the gym I belong to....a lot of them drink beer and eat pizza too though too.0 -
I think if you have good friends who support you then it should not be a problem. My friends and I all enjoy working out and living a healthy lifestyle. If we go out for good it is usually somewhere that serves Japanese food as being a vegan it is easy for me to eat and for them not being vegan to eat and for us all to be healthy and eat 'clean'
We do go out and drink sometimes but it's more like 2-3 times a year, and maybe a glass of wine with dinner. It's all about making your social interactions mix with your lifestyle. Maybe invite your friends to crossfit, go on a hike together. You can always go out with them and not drink. No one is forcing you to do that (if they are they aren't good friends).
At the end of the day you want to be happy with your self and part of that is doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy being around.0 -
I'm a lot older than you and I obviously can't relate as well, but I know I eat better than my friends. I can do a beer with that meal if I want, but not every night. I think mostly you are showing a lot of maturity and maybe you have out-grown your current friends. I also know it isn't easy to make new ones. I go to a Community Center to work out. I see guys walking into the basketball courts all the time to play. They just walk in. Sports and working out seem to be a good ice-breaker. I see many of these same guys lifting weights or on the treadmill. Friends are brought to us for a reason or a season. Maybe your friends' season and reason is up. Unlike someone said though, do not let MFP Forums become your social life. That is just sad. You look great. Find the confidence to make other changes, too.0
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So much hate0
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I thought this was going to be a concern for me too when I started changing my eating habits, but like everyone said it's all about controlling yourself- if you're hanging out with friends, that's fine-go ahead and have some pizza-but just one or two slices (that's honestly enough to fill me up) and just have one or two drinks. It's all about moderation and self control.
For example, on fridays my husband and I usually do takeout as it's the one weeknight we have dinner together and to just generally celebrate friday. I know I'm going to be eating some high-calorie stuff, so I'll walk around a little more that day and try to eat a smaller amount beforehand to prepare. When the food does come, I measure it out if it's something I can do with that order (like chinese or pizza slices) and I put in as much self control as possible to limit myself to that amount of food. That way, I get to enjoy time with my husband, I have some of the food and I soften the blow on my calories.0 -
Working out is my new social life. The only friend I really enjoy even being around these days is my gym partner. lol0
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I changed my lifestyle over two years ago. My husband and I still go out to dinner, we still meet friends for drinks (when we can get a sitter) and I have a fairly active social life. When I'm not working, I meet friends for lunch, coffee, or we get together as families for dinner. In fact, most of our social events include a meal. Sometimes I decide to eat and drink whatever I want and just work out harder the following week to make up for it. Sometimes I plan ahead, eat lightly and work out early in the day. Sometimes I just order a salad, and a light beer instead of wine.
I have the same friends as I did 2 years ago. We do the same things we did 2 years ago, although sometimes we get together and walk, play tennis, ride bikes, etc as well.
My choice to be healthier hasn't been a problem with my social life, in fact, it's the opposite, as I love to go out in new clothes and feel good about myself!0 -
I agree. You can still go out with them. If you don't drink, then maybe you could be the designated driver. You will feel better laughing with (or at) all of your friends and they will all get home safe because of you!I've probably got more experience than most anybody here on this.
I have so many friends and family that don't even know what a gym looks like inside. Nor do they bother with how many calories are in a slice of pizza. They just eat and drink and party. And I party with them. I don't drink, and I only have a slice or 2 of pizza. We laugh, we BS, we hang out.
What I don't do is ever tell them "that's bad for you", "why are you eating that", "you need to work out", etc. I don't brag about how you good of shape I'm in, how much I can lift, etc.
The less of a "health nut" they see you as, the easier the social life.
I will say that Crossfit does have a mentality that is passed on that one should only eat a certain way (I hear it all the time from CFers) to achieve health and performance, when there are so many other variables involved. If you are one of those, then I can see why friends and family may be avoiding you.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
No I'm not a "crazy crossfit nutbag" and thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. I do believe yes my friends are truly not my friends if they can't hang with me if i am leading this " healthy lifestyle". Maybe pursuing people whom have more in common is what I might head for...0
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No I'm not saying either I will never eat a slice of pizza or a burger.... And yes on occasion such as last night I ate a burger... I'm saying that now that it's not an everyday thing where I just eat and drink w.e I want my friends think I'm some crazy guy doing some crazy diet.0
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I'm the same.
Really it's easy to say "go for a walk with a friend instead", but how many people do that..anyone at all? Especially at 23.
I study and work part time, social time is in the evening. And that means dinner or usually, drinks. I've cut out alcohol entirely now too, as it is the only way for me. Not being very social.
I'm just comforting myself that it's temporary.0 -
I thought this was going to be a concern for me too when I started changing my eating habits, but like everyone said it's all about controlling yourself- if you're hanging out with friends, that's fine-go ahead and have some pizza-but just one or two slices (that's honestly enough to fill me up) and just have one or two drinks. It's all about moderation and self control.
This! I have lost over 40 lbs and I still drink a glass of wine 2-3 nights a week and go out with friends, etc. Its just all about moderation. I always ask for water with my drink when I am out so that it lasts longer and other than rare occasions I only have 1 or 2 drinks when out and plan for the in my daily calories. It has not appeared to hurt my weight loss at all nor has my social life been impacted...in fact I am more confident now when I go out than I was before. This is not a diet its a lifestyle change...my lifestyle includes going out with friends... I am not going to stop.0 -
I'm the same.
Really it's easy to say "go for a walk with a friend instead", but how many people do that..anyone at all? Especially at 23.
I study and work part time, social time is in the evening. And that means dinner or usually, drinks. I've cut out alcohol entirely now too, as it is the only way for me. Not being very social.
I'm just comforting myself that it's temporary.
I can totally relate to this. I'm also a 23 year old student, & I'm sorry, but no one wants to hear that you're dieting. No one cares. No one wants to go for a walk or to the gym with you to socialize. They want to go do something fun & relaxing, which is valid. It's just difficult when it's more often then once every week or two.
Today I had a friend who just got divorced invite me over to 'gorge myself' because she's making all the foods her ex hated. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been off track the last two weeks & have finally been under my calorie goal two days in a row again. I absolutely don't want to go and definitely don't want to 'gorge myself' but I feel obligated to go & support her. & saying 'sorry, I can't come because I'm trying to eat right & don't want to eat your food because it won't fit into my calorie goals' sounds a little bit ridiculous, even to me.
My advice to the OP would be to eat the pizza & drink the beer once in awhile. Other times, it's okay to say no. Everything in moderation. Your friends will probably get over it when the novelty wears off.0 -
I'm the same.
Really it's easy to say "go for a walk with a friend instead", but how many people do that..anyone at all? Especially at 23.
I study and work part time, social time is in the evening. And that means dinner or usually, drinks. I've cut out alcohol entirely now too, as it is the only way for me. Not being very social.
I'm just comforting myself that it's temporary.
I can totally relate to this. I'm also a 23 year old student, & I'm sorry, but no one wants to hear that you're dieting. No one cares. No one wants to go for a walk or to the gym with you to socialize. They want to go do something fun & relaxing, which is valid. It's just difficult when it's more often then once every week or two.
Today I had a friend who just got divorced invite me over to 'gorge myself' because she's making all the foods her ex hated. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been off track the last two weeks & have finally been under my calorie goal two days in a row again. I absolutely don't want to go and definitely don't want to 'gorge myself' but I feel obligated to go & support her. & saying 'sorry, I can't come because I'm trying to eat right & don't want to eat your food because it won't fit into my calorie goals' sounds a little bit ridiculous, even to me.
My advice to the OP would be to eat the pizza & drink the beer once in awhile. Other times, it's okay to say no. Everything in moderation. Your friends will probably get over it when the novelty wears off.
I'm 50. I wish I could tell you it gets easier as you get older, but it doesn't.0
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