Social life and dieting

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  • hmg90
    hmg90 Posts: 314 Member
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    Today I had a friend who just got divorced invite me over to 'gorge myself' because she's making all the foods her ex hated. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been off track the last two weeks & have finally been under my calorie goal two days in a row again. I absolutely don't want to go and definitely don't want to 'gorge myself' but I feel obligated to go & support her. & saying 'sorry, I can't come because I'm trying to eat right & don't want to eat your food because it won't fit into my calorie goals' sounds a little bit ridiculous, even to me.


    That sounds pretty unhealthy for your friend too. I think these "binge" or "drink up" get togethers after break ups are kind of glorified - it's supposed to be an okay thing to do but it just doesn't stop there. It doesn't make anyone feel better and at worst it develops into regular comfort eating or alcohol problems. I would know, I drowned my heartache in wine and gin in the past, and alcohol is an issue for me now. I can't have one or two glasses, I have to cold turkey.

    Obviously this is up to your friend, but it is a little silly to force friends to eat unhealthy foods your ex-husband hated. Excuse me for saying so, but that doesn't sound like something a grown up would do.
    Maybe you could bring some other healthier food as well and direct the evening into talking instead?
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    This is funny...you have the social life you want..

    calorie counting and going to the gym does not prevent a social life it opens up another one...

    by the sounds of it this 41 year old has a better social life than these single 20 somethings...wow..

    Gotta go...gotta get ready for a dance with friends where I fit in my 6 drinks and a snack for later...and I might even have more than 6 drinks depends on how I feel after number 6
  • DuckDynastyMakesMeLaugh
    DuckDynastyMakesMeLaugh Posts: 363 Member
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    This is funny...you have the social life you want..

    calorie counting and going to the gym does not prevent a social life it opens up another one...

    by the sounds of it this 41 year old has a better social life than these single 20 somethings...wow..

    Gotta go...gotta get ready for a dance with friends where I fit in my 6 drinks and a snack for later...and I might even have more than 6 drinks depends on how I feel after number 6

    +1 :drinker:
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
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    Before I started losing weight and getting healthier, I'd eat out maybe twice or so a week. Knowing what i know now, seems I always ate the most unhealthiest foods going! Eating out was just the "social" thing for me and my friends to do.

    Now, we go for walks, exercise and a good chance to have a catch up! As some of my friends now have kids, we go to parks and things too. Don't get me wrong though, i still eat out just nowhere near as frequent.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    Three months ago I started impact (cross training) mix of cardio and crossfit and I absolutely love it. Since beginning of January I've lost 30 pounds from 185 to 155. I feel great, look great and couldn't be happier. But nevertheless it comes with it's downfalls. To lose the weight obviously was on a strict diet and quit drinking (which I believe to be a huge factor in weight loss). Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise. As well as I guess you can say I'm a bit scared to get back on the old train I was on, drinking, eating whatever comes to mind because I put so much hard work into these last few months...

    You've got a new lifestyle. Real friends will deal with it, and drop the ones who can't. Also why not make some new friends that are reflective of where you are in life now?

    If you allow your current crew to derail you, trust me, all you'll have left at the end of the day is a fatter body and the same sucky *kitten* friends who won't give a damn that your goals and dreams have been crushed.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.

    Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.

    So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.

    So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.

    Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.

    Nonsense. Not a big drinker, never have been. Have plenty of amazing friends, most of whom are drinkers to various degrees.

    I make friends with people who understand that I don't give two healthy, good damns what they may, or may not, think about what goes in my mouth. I wish one of my friends would make a comment, or try and pressure me. Would never happen though. I don't make communal decisions about my body, my diet, or my goals.
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
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    If you can't live a healthy life and also socialise then you're doing it wrong. You have either chosen the wrong friends to socialise with or your definition of "healthy" is unsustainable and not at all healthy. Socialising is an important part of mental well-being and is just as important for health as eating your veggies.

    ETA: In case you didn't realise it's also possible for you to stay sober while socialising with other people who are drinking. The fact this even needs to be said is a bit of a worry tbh...
  • lovelayla
    lovelayla Posts: 123
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    Honestly, I drink every weekend. My drinks are just different. I used to drink about twice a week and have Sugary margaritas and colorful girl drinks. Now, I pick one day a week to drink and my mixers are diet soda or 5 calorie Minute maid Peach.

    I also went from drinking a whole bottle of Vodka/tequila AND 2-3 beers in one night to half a bottle of Tequila or Vodka. I know that most of my weight problems came from liquids,I'm not having a hard time at all with the eating part.

    On drinking nights I just eat lighter during the day, and I weigh my booze before it touches my mouth. I weigh out enough for the whole night.

    On other days when I'm being social we go to the movies, bowl, hike, catch a play or go to the museum. Dancing is always fun! I go to the bars with my friends I just sneak in the mini bottles and order diet soda. Or I drink before we go.

    Finally, how about you make friends with your crossfit Buddies? They will understand your new lifestyle.Or invite your regular friends out to do more active things..Paintball, lasertag,bumpercars...

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