I was asked if I am PREGNANT! (insert sad face here)

I have PCOS and it can cause women to gain in their stomach disproportionately. Which has happened to me. I have terrible social anxiety now after constantly being asked if I was pregnant, or how far along I was, even some people arguing with me after I had told them that no, I am not pregnant... "are you sure? You look like you are!" it's humiliating. I used to be able to laugh it off, but it got to a point where I just assumed everyone every where that saw me thought i was pregnant. I feel ashamed and embarrassed all the time by my physique. When I go out now I wear shape wear that is tight and uncomfortable, but it holds in my stomach enough to lift my confidence. It sucks. That is why I'm working so hard to lose weight now. But even when I do get down in size, my stomach will still be bigger then it should be because of how PCOS has affected my body. It's not fun. I hate that men can have "beer belly'" and nobody thinks twice, but if a younger woman has a larger stomach she is assumed to be pregnant.

i worked in retail last year and a really stupid woman (regular) came in and asked if i was pregnant. i waited till the other lady in line left, and i looked at the woman and said "nope. just fat. thanks for reminding me." and she just looked at me dumbfounded and you could tell she was embarrassed.
i gave her a stern look and said "never ask another woman that. ESPECIALLY if you don't even know them"
she said "sorry", looked down and left the store.

i gotta say, i think i made her feel worse than she made me feel! lol

Haha love it! I have said something similar to people - it depends on who it is. I've been asked by two random middle aged strangers and I said "nope, just fat. thanks." and gave a b*tchy glare. It shut them up fast and that was that. Hopefully my reaction was enough to prevent them from ever asking anyone else! Another time it was an old woman and she was just like a sweet old grandma asking when I was due so I just said "oh, i'm not pregnant" and was nice about it bc I think she meant well.
I thought everyone knew not to ask, but apparently not! :noway: I've also been asked (or been w/ a friend who was asked) if I wanted to sit on buses or subways - presumably they thought I was preggers and were trying to be nice! I just say no thanks and smile (and cringe inside).

It is true about the posture though - I definitely have a bad habit of sticking my hips forward when standing and that juts your belly out, making it rounder as someone said. And hey, maybe it's a compliment as we aren't so huge that we're obviously fat, we are small enough that it could just be pregnancy :laugh:

Aww.. I've been there. People suck.

A stiff palm to the teeth would be my response of choice. Just sayin.

When I first started I'd lost ten pounds and was feeling really good, then some jerk who has been annoying me for years told me I was fat I didn't get mad or depressed I worked harder. Who was he to determine how i feel? So I made it a goal to one day make eat his words. Now I'm down 70 lbs and I see him drooling when I walk by, but to bad for him... He's already ruined his chances of me ever even talking to him. Who's laughing now!

^^^ Hero.

Well, I gained about 15 lbs in the last few months and had someone ask me this last Sunday. Asked me if I was expecting. I said so and they said, well you sure did get "thick".

How is it rude to ask a women if she is pregnant? Just say "No."

If a grown woman has a large stomach who you've never seen before anyone would assume that they were pregnant..

Oh my god. Ugh. There are many other reasons why a woman might have a larger stomach. And by asking someone you don't know if they are pregnant, when they are not, you are basically calling them fat. So think about it: Is it rude to go up to someone and tell them they are fat? Yes.

ETA: it's extremely rude, insensitive and thoughtless.

I had this happen to me a few months ago by an elderly lady. She even gave me a nice tummy rub while asking. :bigsmile: I told her there wasn't a baby in there, but I did just have one 8 years ago. :laugh: She was mortified and I really did feel worse for her than I did for me.

seriously? did you really just ask how it was rude?
you don't go up to a random and say "you're fat, especially in your tummy area" so why would a person ask a stranger if they're pregnant.

This. I was beginning to think I was the only one who honestly though that it's no one's god d*mned business whether someone's pregnant or not. It's like if I walked up to some random guy at the bus stop and asked, "Hey do you have hemorrhoids?" If I wanted someone to know I was pregnant I'd tell them in the first place.

I have been asked if I was pregnant and my usual response is no I am just fat, that usually shuts them up.

Same here. I don't get upset really since I know I am working hard to get rid of fat that gives people the reason to even ask that question. Ignorance is dangerous. see the following:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy

I worked at a plus sized store last summer and I was helping a lady out in the fitting room. She had tried on a pair of pants and asked what sort of top would go with it. I told her something like I was wearing would look nice. I was wearing a sleeveless tank that was fitted around the bust but flowy from just under my bust down. She looked at it and said, "No, I don't wear maternity clothes. I'm not pregnant."

I stood there a minute, trying to remember that I would get fired if I hit a customer, and finally said, "I'm not pregnant either." She rolled her eyes and said, "Well then you shouldn't wear clothes that give people that impression. She closed the fitting room door and I passed her off to another employee to deal with.

It sucked because since I was at work, I had to remain professional and I couldn't call her out on it. The funny thing is, when the other employee brought her a shirt exactly like mine but in a different color, she loved it so much she bought it.

It's mean to say, but I hope somebody says exactly the same to her!

I had someone I knew pretty well ask me that once, I smiled wide and said "Why yes, yes I am." while rolling my eyes. His girlfriend slapped him for being rude. I saw him about 8 months later and he asked me where the baby was, I just laughed. Last week, I got poked in the belly by a resident at work and he asked me "got one in there?" I politely told him no and smiled. It doesn't bother me because I have learned to grow a thick skin over the years. I know I'm fat, and I am doing something about it so that in a year or two, those same people can look at me with a stunned stupid look on their face and praise me for looking so good. As my ex used to say "joke'm if they can't take a *kitten*"

I stress ate an extra 10 lbs before my wedding in 1995. I tell you wut! Everyone at the reception kept asking if I was preggers. And it was kinda suspicious, we got engaged and married 3 mos. later. But, I actually spent our 1st anniversary in labor and gave birth the next day!

Then...after the birth of my 2nd baby...the lady at the corner store bellows, "Good God woman...haven't you had that baby yet?" I burst into tears and went and got my 6 month old baby out of the car...

At a wedding in November a guy patted my belly and asked when I was due. I laughed and told him I wasn't pregnant - not only that, I had a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other - he shook his head and said 'No, no, you're pregnant aren't you. Cmon, when's it due?' . I honestly thought this was funny rather than offensive, mostly because he was so clueless as to how awkward he should have been feeling!

Oh, just remembered another one. I was having my hair done and one of the junior hairdressers was washing my hair. She asked what I did and I said that I was on maternity leave from work. She asked when the baby was due. I told her my baby was 7 months old. Again I thought this was really funny, she was mortified. That one was about four years ago now.