Ex- GF Facebook

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Wookinpanub
Wookinpanub Posts: 635 Member
in Motivation and Support
She has become my motivation. We had a bad break up 20 years ago and I haven't seen her in 15 years. I have thought about her a lot. Out of the blue she facebook friend requests me. She is an athletic trainer and looks awesome. I would be very embarrassed for her to see me at my current weight and have begun a weight loss program (again). This is motivating me a lot and we have exchanged a couple random messages which amped up my motivation. I even got a candy crush invite from her on Monday and that got me very motivated to stick to my program. I am sure the candy crush thing was generic and not specific for me but nonetheless. I want to continue to use this over the next few months as motivation but I am worried if I push too hard via messages, she will bring me back to reality (she wants no part of me). I tell my self if I reach my goal by late summer I will ask her to meet up for lunch.
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Replies

  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    If you had a bad break up then she is bad for you. Keep her out of your life and do you for you. I sorta see where this is motivating you but I also think nothing good will come of it.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
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    Candy Crush? ANGTFD
  • Lynne4906
    Lynne4906 Posts: 15
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    Well, on a lighter note - I've done this. I've thought about ex's and running into them and wanting to look amazing at that time. However, I agree with 4legs - no real good will come of this. If you broke up, it was for a reason, right? I don't think there's any harm in using it as motivation to lose weight and feel good about yourself. I bet once you start losing, that will be come less and less of a motivator, and you will simply enjoy being healthy. Good luck!!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    If you had a bad break up then she is bad for you. Keep her out of your life and do you for you. I sorta see where this is motivating you but I also think nothing good will come of it.
    It's been 20 years. He was 22 at the time. I assume they have both matured since then ...
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    0/10
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    Well, seeing as how humans are motivated by three needs, food, shelter and sex... sounds like a perfect motivator!
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    Use it as a motivator but do not set your heart on something coming of it.
  • MomTo3Lovez
    MomTo3Lovez Posts: 800 Member
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    I think your main motivation needs to be yourself and getting healthy/ in shape. The ex-gf could just be a bonus.

    That is what it is for me...I am losing weight, eating better, exercising for me and for my 3 kids so I can live a long happy and healthy life and so they can follow my lead and do the same thing once they are on their own.

    Now I am going through a divorce and a small (very small) part would love to rub it in his face when i am in great shape and happy without him :happy: But again my main motivation is myself and kids because that is what will keep me going for the long haul.

    Good luck!
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Candy crush request? She obviously wants the D! Go get her! :wink:
  • SofaKingRad_II
    SofaKingRad_II Posts: 591
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    If you had a bad break up then she is bad for you. Keep her out of your life and do you for you. I sorta see where this is motivating you but I also think nothing good will come of it.

    You never know. 20 years can change two people.
  • SofaKingRad_II
    SofaKingRad_II Posts: 591
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    Candy crush request? She obviously wants the D! Go get her! :wink:

    Chicks are crazy for the D when they play candy crush!
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
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    Candy crush request? She obviously wants the D! Go get her! :wink:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
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    I mean I can see why this would be motivating.

    That was kind of a motivator for me, too. Not an ex, rather, but running into old friends. I'd hate to run into one at the mall and have their first thought be "Damn. She got fat." because you KNOW that would happen. Then they would tell everyone else.

    But if their first reaction was "WOW. look at her!!" That'd make me feel accomplished.
  • sstolii123
    sstolii123 Posts: 205 Member
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    Boom!

    THe Candy Crush makes everyone crazy!
  • Wookinpanub
    Wookinpanub Posts: 635 Member
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    Well, on a lighter note - I've done this. I've thought about ex's and running into them and wanting to look amazing at that time. However, I agree with 4legs - no real good will come of this. If you broke up, it was for a reason, right? I don't think there's any harm in using it as motivation to lose weight and feel good about yourself. I bet once you start losing, that will be come less and less of a motivator, and you will simply enjoy being healthy. Good luck!!

    This sums it up. I am using it as a motivation. I don't want to run into her or maybe she asks to meet me for an innocent/friendly cup of coffee and I am 65 lbs over weight and she has a rock hard body. I am sure she was just being friendly with the fb request and I am sure there is less than <.0001% chance of us reconnecting but it is good to use as motivation.

    PS - we broke up b/c I was a stupid college guy who couldn't keep in my pants and she was wanting to spread her wings anyway.
  • 281Danielle
    281Danielle Posts: 113
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    Hell I use anything as motivation, if this motivates you go for it. I use people I dislike as motivation, I also use people I like as motivation. Whatever gets you eating better and moving more is always good in my opinion. To me motivation is the key to weight loss, if you aren't motivated you aren't going to eat right or exercise.
  • Loss4TheWin
    Loss4TheWin Posts: 249
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    This kind of makes me sad. I read the story of your weight gain and it kind of mirrors my husband's story. I don't think I'd be mad, but I'd be a little sad if my husband were using this connection to an ex-gf as motivation. Hell, if I'm honest, I'd be crushed. So, actually, thank you for posting this. This has added on to the heaps of motivation I already have to become rock hard - I'M going to be my husbands motivation, damnit...not some tart from his past lol

    Thanks!
  • ElliHurdle
    ElliHurdle Posts: 13
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    If that's motivation to get in shape...USE IT!! Who cares if nothing is ever going to come of it....use it to lose the weight and get healthy. And then ask her to lunch!

    I live 2500 miles from home now and I'm married, and about 2-3 months before I go back home I am primping and dieting like crazy! I have some old high school friends, ex-boyfriends, and other friends who don't see me often, except a few "selfies", so I want to look my best. If anything, I want to show people how well I'm doing....for me personally "Look how fat I've gotten" doesn't say "I'm happy, I'm successful, and look what you're missing out on".
  • KatieLouWho19
    KatieLouWho19 Posts: 776 Member
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    :laugh: :flowerforyou:
    Candy crush request? She obviously wants the D! Go get her! :wink:


    lmfao!!!!

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