I'm sabotaging my overweight husband

Invite some friends over to have some brownies too!

Sabotage the entire neighborhood?

I understand OP's position, but as an old timer to marriage (30 years), I guess I have to add what I ended up doing. My husband, too, was always somewhat overweight. When we first got married, he put some more on because he would eat a big lunch at work and then whatever I made. I also occasionally would bake and baked even more after I had kids; we even owned a bread machine that I used almost daily. He gained and lost through various diets but always put it back on. Sometimes I'd join him, for instance, to lose post-baby weight, but overall, I was always someone who could keep it off without much effort. Then when he was in his 40s, he underwent a lot of personal stresses -- both his parents died, his brother had some very serious problems with mental illness and alcohol, and my husband also ended up traveling a lot. The upshot, he put on even more weight and would get sick often with cellulitis in his legs. His doctor at the time was somewhat negligent, but when he changed doctor, he was diagnosed as Type II diabetes. We got rid of all the "white foods" and when he was home, the food that was available and prepared was food that he could eat. Regardless, he still would eat badly, not exercise, etc. I nagged him so much that he became angry and resentful. So I said, "I'll stop nagging if you buy extra life insurance with a long term care rider." We went to the insurance agent, and the premiums for this thing because of his weight and diabetes are $550 a month. That was one of the wake-up calls of what his eating was costing, both in terms of health and finances. One of the major factors for us is that I am 5'1.5". There is no way I could care for my husband at home if he were disabled. He doesn't eat perfectly now, but I have to admit, he is more active and much more in control than in the past, even when he travels. So I guess there are three things:

1. You need to support him by changing how you are eating at home. That might mean not baking a batch of brownies or an apple pie. The only time I bake now is to bring stuff to pot luck or family events. Then I leave it there! If you want a "goodie" eat it on your own time, when you're out with girlfriends or when he's not around.
2. This may sound contradictory, but you also have to keep in mind that he's still responsible for his own eating and actions. My DH travels and I can't control what he's eating then. I can only eliminate temptation at home, and I have to let go of what's happening elsewhere.
3. At some point, both of you, especially if he's older, have to confront the health and financial consequences of his weight and eating. This is both of your futures, and it's not like he might just keel over from a heart attack. If you have children, his eating behavior is affecting not just himself, but your family's security. He could end up needing long term nursing care as a consequence of diabetes or other illnesses related to overeating. My husband's dad was dead at 66 from heart disease and cancer, his mom at 73 from dementia and pancreatitis due to acute diabetes. She spent the last 10 years of her life in and out of nursing homes and skilled care.

I do the oppisite. All the food in the house is healthy. If I'm going to the grocery store and he asks for a chocolate muffin I bring him back a chocolate clif bar and a bag of trail mix lol. I don't buy junk for him. If he wants junk he buys it himself.

Hubby has high cholesterol and I want to keep him around.

Edit for spelling failz

My husband is the saboteur in our house. He has diabetes (and its' not getting controlled very well), and I have both diabetes and high blood pressure. But he likes to bake and cook and he likes/loves/adores carbs like no tomorrow. We have a tendency to sabotage each other. I have decided that making small changes is going to work best for us. If I try to initiate an overhaul he balks. So I have started making just enough for us to eat for a meal. Oh you want seconds? Too bad! (of course, I just started cooking too....I hate cooking). I am trying to use healthier options as well. Also, try to find recipes that are one shots. Like you can do cookie in a mug or brownie in a mug if you want just ONE so that it quells the cravings. They are DELICIOUS and there are NONE left over for anyone to munch on later. I have found that that works better for my house. That's about all you can do to help him and you until he's ready to take the plunge for himself.

had Rocky Road Brownies Yesterday. I cut each brownie into quarters and left them at work. I had 1 bite, each 1/4 piece was 90 calories! So i got my taste and my co-workers and boss loved them. I also left some for the kids in the fridge, they put the brownie pieces in chocolate ice cream.

So essentially, have your "taste" and then outta sight, outta mind. Give him a little double serving and freeze the rest.

You can go to a convenience store and get an individual sized brownie for yourself.

I think the most effective solution is to bake/cook what you NEED.

Leftovers are great for a quick meal when you're in a hurry, but it isn't worth cooking that much if the portion becomes 'seconds'.

I try and do that, but sometimes it's not possible (like brownies, really, I don't have a 2x2 pan, lol, and mostly dividing 2 eggs by 16 is a little difficult).

You could Google or search Pinterest for brownies/cake/cookies in a mug. It's a single serving option.

After you guys each have brownies for a night, bring it to work and share them with the coworkers. Or if you want to save your coworkers too, take them to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.

^^This... or freeze for another day. Or make half batches.... there are a lot of options.