Geting your kids on track..

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

My daughter is 6 years old, she is 48 inches tall and 60.2 lbs. For her body shape, she does not look overweight..but when I looked up her bmr on myplate.gov it said she was borderline overweight.. Well, either way I do not want her growing up to be overweight so I have started talking to her about why it is important to lose weight, and that she needs to make "junk food" (chips, ice cream the norm) a special treat. For example, she asks everyday about money for a bag of chips at school. I was giving her the money, but then she started wanting ice cream every Friday. So, I told her to make ice cream a special treat every Friday instead of eating chips everyday. She seems to understand because she has seen me struggle with my weight.

I do not want to be "hard" on her and make her thing food is bad. This is why I try to explain that the sweets should be special treats instead of an everyday snack. I also noticed she was snacking all day long, even right after dinner she was saying she was hungry. I have a horrible problem eating when I am bored, and I want to stop that in her everyday routine before it becomes a concern later on. I started explaining to her that she needed to space out her meals, and not eat everything all at once. She is also a nibbler so she will get a snack, take a bite, throw it away, and get another snack. So many bad habits stand out to me already.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can keep her on the right track?

wannakimmy · April 2014

Tough job as a parent...
My only advice, for what it is worth, is to lead by example.
Good Luck!

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

THANKS - that is what I have started this week especially. I have even been telling her how hard it is to be overweight, and why she wants to start now instead of waiting till later.

I know its hard info for a 6 yr old, but I just fear for her. On both sides of her family there is obesity, I want to prevent that struggle for her.

jillian_fan2425 · April 2014

I mean, she's six years old. I think it's great that you want to teach her good health habits, but I would go with more of a behavioral approach because I don't know if she's really old enough to understand your reasoning or motivation when asking her to make these changes. You're the parent, so really you're in control of whether she gets a snack after dinner or whether she gets chips at school. The problem a lot of parents have is that they want to avoid a fuss, so they give in whenever their children pester them for something, like a candy bar at the grocery store. In doing so, you're just teaching the child that they only have to yell and scream in order to get what they want. So I would recommend that until she's older, you just decide how often you're going to give her treats and what you're going to give her and try your best to stick to it. She should not have direct access to whatever treats she wants. You may have to put up with a few tantrums in the process, but that's part of being a parent, right?

On the other hand, though, I wouldn't worry too much about her weight if she's just "borderline" as you said. I personally don't think kids should be required to strictly track their diet and exercise unless something has really gone wrong, and she really is very young.

Good luck!

mjudd1990 · April 2014

Unless your six year old knows how to drive and has the means to purchase groceries, she is probably going to have to eat what you provide. Stop buying unhealthy food and then neither you nor her will be tempted to eat it. Healthy foods can taste just as good or better than junk, you just need to find the right ways to prepare them.There is nothing wrong with ice cream and "treats" every now and then.

nomeejerome · April 2014

She is six years old and at a very impressionable age. It sounds like you are setting her up for failure down the road if you are starting to have conversations now about weight loss. She is a growing kid and it is quite possible that she truly is hungry after dinner and that may have nothing to do with your fear of eating out of boredom. I would suggest not projecting your fears and issues onto your kid.

lewispwest · April 2014

I think it's very reasonable to get them thinking like it early. I have obesity in my family and I just ate out of boredom and got obese myself, finally getting round to sorting that out now. Thankfully my young sisters are very slim but don't eat well and I'm trying to prevent them from turning out like me, mum and their step dad.

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

I am not trying to put any of my fears on to my kid, but as I mentioned obesity is a huge part of both sides of the family. i want to prevent that for her. Also, I get that I am in control of what she eats but I have just started all of this myself so "getting the junk out of the house" is just a start for me as well.

I am looking for advice on the best approach, if she is hungry of course I am going to feed her. But, if she is literally sitting at the table eating dinner and says she is full .. why is she going for a snack 2 seconds later???

I get a lot of it falls on me for allowing her to eat the snacks she has had in the past, and I take ownership 100%..because I have been that parent that just gives in.

I am looking for ideas on recipes to try with her, other ways of making it a lifestyle change for her as well. I am NOT looking to put her on a diet.. I think she is perfect, I just do not want her to struggle later on..am I wrong for wanting to start showing her the right path now? I am not talking to her about counting calories.. I am just talking to her about not eating her snacks immediately after finishing a big meal, to save them as a special treat .., like I mentioned I am explaining to her she should chose which snack she wants the most and it be a special treat instead of an everyday snack.

I know a lot of it has to do with recipes and different approaches.. and that is what I am asking for advice on.

Thanks everyone!

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

I think it's very reasonable to get them thinking like it early. I have obesity in my family and I just ate out of boredom and got obese myself, finally getting round to sorting that out now. Thankfully my young sisters are very slim but don't eat well and I'm trying to prevent them from turning out like me, mum and their step dad.

TY - I am not trying to put her on a diet, and I knew that was going to be some of the remarks I received when I posted this topic -- I am just needing advice on the best approach. I have started going onto myplate.gov also to get more ideas and activities talking about healthy lifestyles. I will never deprive her, I just want to show her and teach her.

Spooky_Scully · April 2014

She is six years old and at a very impressionable age. It sounds like you are setting her up for failure down the road if you are starting to have conversations now about weight loss. She is a growing kid and it is quite possible that she truly is hungry after dinner and that may have nothing to do with your fear of eating out of boredom. I would suggest not projecting your fears and issues onto your kid.

I agree. Provide her with healthy food options, but don't start giving food/food-behaviours negative labels. I remember growing up with a mother who (despite being gorgeous inside and out) was always critical of herself and her size, and was always on one diet or another. I was a bigger (not overweight, but not skinny!) kid, and she constantly reminded me that I didn't want to be like her, and always commented on what/how I was eating! Not really surprising that I ended up with body and food issues!

Don't label food 'good' or 'bad' and don't lecture her on her weight. Just encourage her to be active, and remember that a balanced diet means ALL food is eaten in moderation. Also, food isn't a reward or something to treat yourself with when you have had a bad day. Try not to give food any emotional labels - its is fuel for our bodies. Delicious, delicious fuel! :P

PS: BMI's aren't accurate for children. Centile charts and specific formulas are used by doctors/nurses for children's weights

dakotababy · April 2014

Maybe it would be more healthy to approach this by getting her involved in dance, skating, other sports for extra-curricular. Also, consider talking more about healthy foods, nutrition and balanced meals rather than discussing losing weight.

rileymama · April 2014

I can see why you want to stop her problem before it BECOMES a real problem (she's 6 and her weight is BORDERLINE)...but I wouldn't talk to my 6 year old about LOSING WEIGHT.........kinda sets her up for issues in my opinion.....I agree if you buy the food you are in charge....but also see why you want her to understand. When my kids want junk, I say no...if I feel an explanation is needed I say "because we need to eat healthier so we can be healthy". But I also don't like them saying anything about people needing to lose weight or being "fat" (I hate that word)........my hubby works with a guy who has recently lost over 100 pounds....my kids see him walking or at work and say "Wow! Mr. XXX is getting healthier!" (as opposed to thinner or not so big).....might also be bc my mom is pretty overweight and I would DIE if my kids talked about "fat", "chubby", "need to lose weight" or anything like that in front of her.....

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

She is six years old and at a very impressionable age. It sounds like you are setting her up for failure down the road if you are starting to have conversations now about weight loss. She is a growing kid and it is quite possible that she truly is hungry after dinner and that may have nothing to do with your fear of eating out of boredom. I would suggest not projecting your fears and issues onto your kid.

I agree. Provide her with healthy food options, but don't start giving food/food-behaviours negative labels. I remember growing up with a mother who (despite being gorgeous inside and out) was always critical of herself and her size, and was always on one diet or another. I was a bigger (not overweight, but not skinny!) kid, and she constantly reminded me that I didn't want to be like her, and always commented on what/how I was eating! Not really surprising that I ended up with body and food issues!

Don't label food 'good' or 'bad' and don't lecture her on her weight. Just encourage her to be active, and remember that a balanced diet means ALL food is eaten in moderation. Also, food isn't a reward or something to treat yourself with when you have had a bad day. Try not to give food any emotional labels - its is fuel for our bodies. Delicious, delicious fuel! :P

PS: BMI's aren't accurate for children. Centile charts and specific formulas are used by doctors/nurses for children's weights

Thanks - I remember my mom was always on a diet as well, and had major weight issues.. I do that myself also. I also tell her she doesnt want to be like me, so that is definately something I need to take away from this. I just thought that would be good motivation for her.

I went to myplate.gov and used the child/teen BMR calculator - it literally had her 1 pt above the normal BMI, which I thought was a joke to lable her as overweight. I know she is not overweight, just looking at her it is obvious. I just want her to be healthy.

thanks for all the advice.

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

Maybe it would be more healthy to approach this by getting her involved in dance, skating, other sports for extra-curricular. Also, consider talking more about healthy foods, nutrition and balanced meals rather than discussing losing weight.

She is in a dance class, which she goes to every week. She has also done soccer, and we do girl scouts. I try to get her involved in every sport, but she refuses. For instance, softball just came up and I begged her to join because it will be fun...she refuses!!! Same thing with basketball..and when she has dance/soccer she sometimes whines she doesn't want to go. I tell her how much I love seeing her participating and the benefits of going.. but sometimes she seems to have a lot of lazy tactics

writergeek313 · April 2014

Talk with her pediatrician about whether or not he or she is concerned about her weight. It scares me that you're talking to a six-year-old about weight loss. That just seems way too young. I'm afraid she'll develop a poor self-image and feel like there's something wrong with the way she looks now, which could be very damaging. It would be better to teach her about healthy eating by bringing a lot of healthy foods into the house and setting a good example by eating healthy and being active yourself. Maybe you let her get chips once a week and ice cream once a week to reenforce that those treats are "sometimes" foods, but I really think you'll be better off teaching her about healthy foods and encouraging her to be active--habits that can help her for her whole life.

iTStaRTsN0W · April 2014

Maybe, I should have made a more clearer statement.

I am NOT NOT NOT NOT telling her she needs to lose weight, or talking to her about losing weight.

I am telling her that I need to lose weight, and the health risks I can face. I encourage her to eat healthier and take to her about why it is important for her...

I am just looking to encourage her to eat healthy! She loves healthy foods..but she also loves to snack. I know I am in control of that..but I am looking for the best approaches to explain to her why she doesn't need those foods, or why we shouldnt eat them as often.

I did ask her to be my motivation, so when I don't want to go for a walk, she pushes me to do so.

disneygirl626 · April 2014

I agree with what a lot of people said. I don't think you should talk to her about weight yet, just start making healthier habits the norm for both of you. And I'm surprised no one mentioned this but six is a great age to get her involved in a sport. Present her some options and see what she's interested in. I danced and my brother did a mixed sports class. Or try getting active together. My aunt always took my cousins for walks after dinner. Great way for you both to be active and healthy.

ETA: I took so long typing this up on my tablet that other people mentioned it in the meantime.

TheVevina · April 2014

Kids learn young. When I was a kid, my parents told me positives about certain foods instead of negatives. For example, instead of saying that chips were bad (which would make my inner rebel down the entire bag) they'd tell me that certain vegetables would give me beautiful skin or something. My little girl dreams of being a pretty princess ofc made me want to eat those veggies. Sometimes they'd remind me the bad effects of junk food, but most of the time, they'd feed me nutritious food and tell me cool things about them. idk, I was enticed by science.
Also, my meals as a child, and still now, were kind of in courses so I was always full. We'd have a small serving of some kind of soup before the meal so we wouldn't actually load too much up on the main. The meal itself consisted of one serving of rice + a chinese side dish, and then a dessert of fruit. Not the same mundane fruits everyday; we'd always look for exotic fruits to try to keep things interesting. Trying out all kinds of fruits/ veggies are great because they might end up loving them, and want to snack on those instead of chips and all that goodness.
Sorry for the mini rant haha... I'm going to thank my parents a million times now

JDubIsShrinking · April 2014

Absolutely lead by example.
Keep healthy foods in your house, teach them about healthy and delicious foods, teach them moderation, etc. Lead by example.

I am proud of myself for my own weight loss and fitness accomplishments, but what makes me the most proud is when my kids (Ages 2.5 and 5) consciously make healthy food choices, ask to go on a run with me, and tell me things like, "I like to run because running makes our bodies happy."

Regarding the snacking... I don't know. I swear my kids eat all day. I don't worry too much about it as long as I offer them healthy options like fruit, veggies, string cheese, etc. as options between meals. Sure, they like "junk" food, but I rarely keep it in my house. They understand now that it's something we shouldn't eat very often because it's not as good for our body as something like whole foods.

jillian_fan2425 · April 2014

Maybe, I should have made a more clearer statement.

I am NOT NOT NOT NOT telling her she needs to lose weight, or talking to her about losing weight.

I am telling her that I need to lose weight, and the health risks I can face. I encourage her to eat healthier and take to her about why it is important for her...

I am just looking to encourage her to eat healthy! She loves healthy foods..but she also loves to snack. I know I am in control of that..but I am looking for the best approaches to explain to her why she doesn't need those foods, or why we shouldnt eat them as often.

That's what I was trying to say--I don't know if a six year old can really understand that to the degree you want her to. She's used to you giving her money for chips and letting her go through packs of snacks, so it's going to be hard for her to understand why she suddenly can't do that whenever she wants anymore. When I was young, my parents made dinner for me, and that included vegetables. I may not have learned to choose vegetables on my own if my parents had not exposed me to them first. But I'm pretty sure that, as a six year old, I would not have asked for vegetables. At this stage, she may just need to get used to having treats when Mom says she can have treats, and later she'll be in a better place to question and talk to you about why treats are limited. I just think you may be asking for too much by hoping that a six year old will be able to control herself and choose healthy foods.

MrsRoeder2013 · April 2014

I understand where your coming from, my 9 year old is 102 pounds and her DR said she should be about 75 with her age/height. I have gotten my daughter more involved in what I do. We go for walks, swims, skating, etc. I have NOT said anything about her weight at all! I have made her feel like she's helping and supporting me on this journey, instead of making her think its for her. Its beneficial for the both of us.

Geting your kids on track..

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