Conflicted

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Replies

  • coretemp
    coretemp Posts: 1,796 Member
    process of elimination of each weighing factor until faced with A or B then choose in favour of which one tips the balance of scale however slight the margin
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Vague post is vague. I need deets, toots.
  • Perplexities
    Perplexities Posts: 612 Member
    Usually I make a pros and cons list and try to make decisions rationally rather than emotionally. Although it depends on what the matter is being decided. The deciding factor is usually what will make me happiest in the long-term.

    Other questions I would ask myself:

    - will anyone get hurt by this decision
    - who else will this decision affect besides me
    - what is the worst case scenario for either choice / what is the best case scenario for either choice
    - will either choice take a toll on my mental or physical health
    - what would i advise a friend who was facing the same dilemma


    1) Oh, yes.
    2.) Unsure if the number is 4 or 3 at the moment, so quite a few people.
    3.) Ditto.
    4.) Definitely lol. The dread is huge with this one.
    5.) Love this question, will think about it, also. Thank you for your input!! :flowerforyou:

    Hopefully you're not contemplating what I think you are.
    If you think I'm right in my assumption, PM me.

    Either way, it sounds like it's all in your head, and I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Usually I make a pros and cons list and try to make decisions rationally rather than emotionally. Although it depends on what the matter is being decided. The deciding factor is usually what will make me happiest in the long-term.

    Other questions I would ask myself:

    - will anyone get hurt by this decision
    - who else will this decision affect besides me
    - what is the worst case scenario for either choice / what is the best case scenario for either choice
    - will either choice take a toll on my mental or physical health
    - what would i advise a friend who was facing the same dilemma


    1) Oh, yes.
    2.) Unsure if the number is 4 or 3 at the moment, so quite a few people.
    3.) Ditto.
    4.) Definitely lol. The dread is huge with this one.
    5.) Love this question, will think about it, also. Thank you for your input!! :flowerforyou:

    Hopefully you're not contemplating what I think you are.
    If you think I'm right in my assumption, PM me.


    Either way, it sounds like it's all in your head, and I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own.

    You've made this thread more srs than it needs to be o.o
    Srs.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    1) Oh, yes.
    2.) Unsure if the number is 4 or 3 at the moment, so quite a few people.
    3.) Ditto.
    4.) Definitely lol. The dread is huge with this one.
    5.) Love this question, will think about it, also. Thank you for your input!! :flowerforyou:

    Are these people you care about? Is their hurt something they can recover from? Obviously it's ideal to avoid hurting people where possible, but sometimes short-term hurt is inevitable and you just need to cause it and move on with things. Especially if it's something like ending a toxic relationship. Sure the other person will get hurt, but you the long-run positivity outweighs that imo. But, yeah, difficult to say without knowing more specifics (which I won't push for - sorry if that sounded like it!). Anyway, it might help you to make a decision tree listing potential outcomes and risks for each choice. Also be aware that dread is normal and feeling dread doesn't mean you're making a bad choice. Anxiety about big decisions is very common, so spend some time pondering if you have the luxury of time. Good luck :flowerforyou:
    Yes, a couple of them are. Hmm, perhaps it is anxiety that I've got, figured it would be best to weigh out options, though. Maybe think things through better before acting upon them. Always seems to work best.

    process of elimination of each weighing factor until faced with A or B then choose in favour of which one tips the balance of scale however slight the margin
    Yup! Planning on doing that with the list that vj suggested on the first page. Just so many things come into play, it's scary haha.

    Vague post is vague. I need deets, toots.
    I know, I'm sorry lol. A little.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I typically will go through the pros/cons of each choice and decide that way. Sometimes, I just go with my instincts. 90% of the time, I end up making the right decision.
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
    Have you ever been conflicted between choice A and choice B?
    Or C or D or whatever else other choice there is?

    Well, something's come up.. And I'm conflicted right now.
    EXTREMELY conflicted. Feels as if the lines are blurred somewhere along the way and I just cannot, for the life of me, decide what to do!

    How do YOU deal when you are conflicted about something that you just cannot shake?
    What helps you decide which route to go?? What is your thought process like?

    Just looking for some insight here.

    :flowerforyou:

    When I have a decision like this to make I do one simple thing, I ask myself honestly what is the best decision for me and I answer it honestly. You know in your heart what the right answer is you just have to believe in yourself and trust yourself.
  • SymphonynSonata
    SymphonynSonata Posts: 533 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
    Lol, woah, way to assume.
    It's not about two guys hahahaha.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Have you ever been conflicted between choice A and choice B?
    Or C or D or whatever else other choice there is?

    Well, something's come up.. And I'm conflicted right now.
    EXTREMELY conflicted. Feels as if the lines are blurred somewhere along the way and I just cannot, for the life of me, decide what to do!

    How do YOU deal when you are conflicted about something that you just cannot shake?
    What helps you decide which route to go?? What is your thought process like?

    Just looking for some insight here.

    :flowerforyou:

    When I have a decision like this to make I do one simple thing, I ask myself honestly what is the best decision for me and I answer it honestly. You know in your heart what the right answer is you just have to believe in yourself and trust yourself.
    Trusting myself is not the issue, trusting one of the people involved.. Yes.
    Changing their minds day after day, not giving straight answers to things asked, etc.
    Takes a toll on someone and makes them iffy about "doing the right thing"..
  • PghPensFan69
    PghPensFan69 Posts: 2,393 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
    Lol, woah, way to assume.
    It's not about two guys hahahaha.

    Is it a FFM threesome? If yes, I say go for it.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
    Lol, woah, way to assume.
    It's not about two guys hahahaha.

    Is it a FFM threesome? If yes, I say go for it.
    Some oranges will be harmed in the making of this post.
  • PghPensFan69
    PghPensFan69 Posts: 2,393 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
    Lol, woah, way to assume.
    It's not about two guys hahahaha.

    Is it a FFM threesome? If yes, I say go for it.
    Some oranges will be harmed in the making of this post.

    Like this?
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Do whatever internet strangers tell me to do...

    Alternately: Go get a tarot reading.

    *shrug*
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Do whatever internet strangers tell me to do...

    Alternately: Go get a tarot reading.

    *shrug*
    Only if Dr. Oz says it's okay.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Try to remove yourself emotionally from the situation.
    Make a list of the pluses and minuses of each decision, get it all down on paper.
    Leave the list on a table, the fridge, somewhere in the house. Go to bed/work/shopping.
    Come back to it later and read it again.
    You'll either have thought of some more pluses/minuses to add or have made your decision, hopefully.
  • AwesomeGuy37
    AwesomeGuy37 Posts: 436 Member
    Other than the pro/cons list, use your anonymity on the internet to ask the most personal questions to get some feedback. Maybe not on MFP, but somewhere. That way you can get more pros and cons you can't think of yourself.
  • raneylfrick
    raneylfrick Posts: 380 Member
    I....hate.....making.....decisions....!!!! I just made a huge 'life decision' as well....and I'm still wondering if it was right or not. Ugh....aldijaoigj;lsnv;dnfv;vsmc;adjfh
  • SymphonynSonata
    SymphonynSonata Posts: 533 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
    Lol, woah, way to assume.
    It's not about two guys hahahaha.
    Lol, woah, way to defensively read hahahaha.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Which guy can you live with forever? If this isn't romantic, just name the two choices. A is Brad, B is Tom. Which dude is better? Or just figure a way to do both options. Think long term repercussions rather than instant satisfaction.
    Lol, woah, way to assume.
    It's not about two guys hahahaha.
    Lol, woah, way to defensively read hahahaha.

    orly
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    o ok