rudest thing anyone has ever said about your weight?
AmelieMustLoseWeight
Posts: 180 Member
A part of me is spiteful and I want to lose weight because of a rude women who makes snide comments at my weight.
This women is European and she thinks all Americans are fat lazy and uneducated. She married my boyfriend's brother and she would constantly talk about my weight.
One of the craziest things shes ever said to me was when I told her I got a second job. I was so excited to have another source of income because I was really struggling for some time.
instead of congratulating me she said " that's good..gives you less time to eat"
She said this in front of my boyfriend and her husband and they didn't think anything of it. I felt like i had gone insane.
This women is European and she thinks all Americans are fat lazy and uneducated. She married my boyfriend's brother and she would constantly talk about my weight.
One of the craziest things shes ever said to me was when I told her I got a second job. I was so excited to have another source of income because I was really struggling for some time.
instead of congratulating me she said " that's good..gives you less time to eat"
She said this in front of my boyfriend and her husband and they didn't think anything of it. I felt like i had gone insane.
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Replies
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I feel like different cultures have a very different perception about what's rude and what's not. For instance I travel to Thailand a fair bit and people there will just straight out call you fat. That was quite offensive to me for a while, then I accepted it and used it as motivation.0
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I feel like different cultures have a very different perception about what's rude and what's not. For instance I travel to Thailand a fair bit and people there will just straight out call you fat. That was quite offensive to me for a while, then I accepted it and used it as motivation.
I can understand that but..shes not entirely European. She was born in Romania and moved to Canada when she was like..5 and shes been in Canada since she was 18. Then she came to america to go to a biblical school down south and shes been here for about 7 years. So I mean.. i feel like she knows better.
especially when i had a nervous breakdown the year before this happened because my S.O came out directly and told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore for gaining weight . I was staying with her during this time and i literally cried on her.0 -
It's ridiculous that no one told her that was inappropriate - I think your argument should almost more be with them than with her.
I'll agree that different cultures have different norms (when I visited China and would jog, little kids would follow me and yell that I was so fat, ha), but I think it's on the person engaging in the majority culture to learn the norms, and I think other people should have your back on that. You're definitely not crazy for being upset.0 -
Unbelievable!, some people just have no tact. I think the worst thing people would ask me, was if I was pregnant "after giving birth to me son". I am (Or was) pretty relaxed about this sort of thing, but I was asked constantly, wasn't unusual to be asked numerous times and on a weekly basis. Currently, and following the birth of my 6.5 month old daughter. I have stacked the weight on again!! and now the rudest thing is - being treated differently because Im overweight
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how much do you have to loose?..0
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how much do you have to loose?..
honestly i want to lose like 40 lbs. I recently lost 35 lbs 2 years ago but slowly gained it back ever since i moved here. I'm used to city living. I live in the country where there are not too many designated spots to workout unless you drive some place.0 -
Unbelievable!, some people just have no tact. I think the worst thing people would ask me, was if I was pregnant "after giving birth to me son". I am (Or was) pretty relaxed about this sort of thing, but I was asked constantly, wasn't unusual to be asked numerous times and on a weekly basis. Currently, and following the birth of my 6.5 month old daughter. I have stacked the weight on again!! and now the rudest thing is - being treated differently because Im overweight
it's horrible how people react to someone just because they are not the way others want them to look.
All the girls who hang out with my guy friends are a size 6 and smaller so im the flat girl of the group. I get treated differently all the time. it sucks.0 -
Oy, I feel your pain. I used to date a very slim guy, and all his friends were super fit, rock climbing, competitive rowing, half marathon running gay dudes. Being the fat guy in that group was pretty obnoxious sometimes. Honestly, it's part of my motivation for losing.0
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I was having a conversation with a group of co workers and one of them said " my brother just had lap band surgery, he was as big as...(looks around the room) well as big as her!" And of course everyone sizes me up. I was very embarrassed. Yes I have a lot of weight to loose but she wasn't a skinny little thing herself.....0
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Yikes, what an awful thing for her to say. When I got a job my husband (now my ex) said, "Great, less time for you to shop".
So the rudest thing anyone said to me was to inquire about my due date. I was not pregnant.
Speaking of the ex, while we were married he used to describe me as a "skinny fat girl". He also said he was only attracted to me if my weight was in double digits, i.e. 99 lbs or below. I did develop an eating disorder and got down to 92. That weight was not healthy and it took me 3 years and therapy to like the way I looked at normal weight.
We can't let anything anyone says about our appearance effect us to the point that it makes us ill. Best wishes to everyone who may be struggling to overcome abusive people who have said rude things. You know what they say about living well? It's the best revenge.
xo0 -
Oy, I feel your pain. I used to date a very slim guy, and all his friends were super fit, rock climbing, competitive rowing, half marathon running gay dudes. Being the fat guy in that group was pretty obnoxious sometimes. Honestly, it's part of my motivation for losing.
The first time around i did this for me and it meant that much more to me when i succeeded. I have been struggling to devoting more time but i feel like im back where i need to be. I just wondered if anyone else ever felt like they needed to lose weight to show up all the rude people who put them down.
Im slowly turning into an athletic person. it makes a difference for sure.0 -
For me it wasn't while I was big, it was after I had lost all the weight. This one woman, explaining how I looked before the weigh-loss said: "She was huge! Bigger than a house." Wasn't even joking. le sigh.0
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My dad told me that I was fat and needed to lose weight in 3rd grade. 0
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For me it wasn't while I was big, it was after I had lost all the weight. This one woman, explaining how I looked before the weigh-loss said: "She was huge! Bigger than a house." Wasn't even joking. le sigh.
wow... that's so..mean. :{ i'm sorry to hear someone did that to you.
in my mind i think..i can lose weight if i work hard and devote my time to it..with rude people i feel like even if they tried they will never fully because genuinely kind to others.0 -
For me it wasn't while I was big, it was after I had lost all the weight. This one woman, explaining how I looked before the weigh-loss said: "She was huge! Bigger than a house." Wasn't even joking. le sigh.
wow... that's so..mean. :{ i'm sorry to hear someone did that to you.
in my mind i think..i can lose weight if i work hard and devote my time to it..with rude people i feel like even if they tried they will never fully because genuinely kind to others.
Exactly, they can't appreciate the hard work because they don't understand the hard work that goes into doing this. It's a great sense of accomplishment that people can easily ruin if you don't mentally prepare yourself along with the physical.0 -
Are you pregnant?0
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For me it wasn't while I was big, it was after I had lost all the weight. This one woman, explaining how I looked before the weigh-loss said: "She was huge! Bigger than a house." Wasn't even joking. le sigh.
I can relate to that part. People around here seem to know not to comment on your weight. If you're still overweight. But as soon as you lose the weight? Omg.
My own sisters were guilty of doing this. I remember talking about clothing sizes. I casually said the one was probably a XXL. Not to be rude, but I assumed she was as I had been her size at my biggest weight and I was. To which she exclaimed that XXL is huge and she had never been THAT big. Then there was the guy whom I saw the other day. Upon seeing me "last time I saw you, you were huge. like - " and then used his arms to gesture. I've heard "You were as big as a house" "You lost a whole person", etc. Seriously?
When did it become appropriate to comment on weight in such ways, period? I hate to talk about my ED history, but I know from experience... that's the stuff that fuels them.
And if it's any consolation, you get comments when you're skinny, too. I've heard it all. Crack addict, pill addict, "Go eat a cheeseburger". I think the rudest thing I have heard was actually about my being skinny. It came from a man I had literally only known a total of ten hours or so.
"You aren't on drugs or anything? No, you can't be, your teeth look okay."
After telling him how much weight I lost. Because, apparently, people who were once overweight can't lose weight unless they're on drugs. It's like even when you lose teh weight, society STILL assumes you're lazy.0 -
A pizza delivery guy asked me when I was due. I'm not even that overweight...I need to lose like 15 or 20 lbs at most...so it was really startling and out of the blue and SO OFFENSIVE!!
But, OP, what disturbs me most about your story is your boyfriend's lack of sensitivity in not coming to your defense. It's one thing if his brother doesn't, but your boyfriend should be your biggest source of support. I'm sorry he wasn't up to the challenge, and I hope that changes.0 -
The Rudest thing anyone has said to me is "You're fat as a hog". Right to my face. I weighed about 180 then and now I weigh 197. My top weight was 227 she probably would have started oinking as soon as she saw me. LMBO0
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I can sympathize with you. My husband is extremely slim and people are constantly saying things like "doesn't she leave you anything to eat." It's awful. I would never intentionally hurt a persons feelings like that. I am disabled and I am unable to do a lot of things. Not making excuses. I am slowly learning to adjust some exercises to meet my capabilities. Just hang in there and love yourself regardless of other people's opinions!0
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For me it wasn't while I was big, it was after I had lost all the weight. This one woman, explaining how I looked before the weigh-loss said: "She was huge! Bigger than a house." Wasn't even joking. le sigh.
I can relate to that part. People around here seem to know not to comment on your weight. If you're still overweight. But as soon as you lose the weight? Omg.
My own sisters were guilty of doing this. I remember talking about clothing sizes. I casually said the one was probably a XXL. Not to be rude, but I assumed she was as I had been her size at my biggest weight and I was. To which she exclaimed that XXL is huge and she had never been THAT big. Then there was the guy whom I saw the other day. Upon seeing me "last time I saw you, you were huge. like - " and then used his arms to gesture. I've heard "You were as big as a house" "You lost a whole person", etc. Seriously?
When did it become appropriate to comment on weight in such ways, period? I hate to talk about my ED history, but I know from experience... that's the stuff that fuels them.
And if it's any consolation, you get comments when you're skinny, too. I've heard it all. Crack addict, pill addict, "Go eat a cheeseburger". I think the rudest thing I have heard was actually about my being skinny. It came from a man I had literally only known a total of ten hours or so.
"You aren't on drugs or anything? No, you can't be, your teeth look okay."
After telling him how much weight I lost. Because, apparently, people who were once overweight can't lose weight unless they're on drugs. It's like even when you lose teh weight, society STILL assumes you're lazy.
Haha, I still hear the comments, I've learned to shrug it off. When they tell me to eat a cheeseburger, I'm like "dude, you've never eaten with me." It usually shuts them up when I tell them I've lost 100 pounds and I run twenty miles a week.0 -
She said this in front of my boyfriend and her husband and they didn't think anything of it. I felt like i had gone insane.
I know it's not really the same thing but I have been told I am fat by my mum for as long as I can remember. I genuinely don't remember a time when she didn't make comments about my weight.
I have learnt over a good number of years to just let it go. I know that is easier said than done but she obviously has issues of her own and feels the need to point out what she percieves to be your 'flaws' rahter than focusing on her own.
I'm so sorry she said that though, and I am equally sorry that your boyfriend didn't stand up for you. No one deserves that.0 -
I've lived my past life with almost 400lbs & constant nasty references from other people . . BUT I always took the negative energy people were wasting on making me the 'center of the joke' & used it for MOTIVATION to work harder to loose weight ...I did it...We all can!!
People who put people down regarding there own weight have underlying issues & imperfections within themselves....
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!0 -
A pizza delivery guy asked me when I was due. I'm not even that overweight...I need to lose like 15 or 20 lbs at most...so it was really startling and out of the blue and SO OFFENSIVE!!
But, OP, what disturbs me most about your story is your boyfriend's lack of sensitivity in not coming to your defense. It's one thing if his brother doesn't, but your boyfriend should be your biggest source of support. I'm sorry he wasn't up to the challenge, and I hope that changes.
That pizza guy sounds like a complete idiot. I feel like he must of been high or something...
he claims he didn't understand what she was trying to say.
he said it went right over head. he never went to school with other people. hes been home schooled his whole life so he doesn't understand caty behavior.
:{ the husband knew what she was doing but he couldn't defend me because she accused him of liking me or something. idk she came to me once and told me i couldn't be friends with them because she was jealous of me and thought he husband and i had too much in common. it was stupid so i stopped talking to both of them. every time i see them its really awkward though.0 -
Some stranger yelled "oh look its ugly betty" at me from across a street loudly.0
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The Rudest thing anyone has said to me is "You're fat as a hog". Right to my face. I weighed about 180 then and now I weigh 197. My top weight was 227 she probably would have started oinking as soon as she saw me. LMBO
some people are disgusting....i can't believe someone would treat someone like this.
227 isn't even that large compared to most overweight folks. my mom was always 275 and up (same with my pop) Im used to members of my family being bigger. My mom cried tears of joy when she lost weight and got to the 220's.0 -
A girl I considered a very close friend made a scene in front of a large group of our friends that no one should hug me because I'd break in half and went on to loudly comment that she didn't understand why I always had dates because who would want to date "a twig." I later came to realize it was a product of her own insecurity, but at the time it was incredibly hurtful.
If I had a dollar for every time I've been called "skinny b!tch" by a total stranger I could take us all out for milkshakes :noway:
Try to let the comments roll off your shoulders OP, people can be nasty but it's up to us to rise above that.0 -
A girl I considered a very close friend made a scene in front of a large group of our friends that no one should hug me because I'd break in half and went on to loudly comment that she didn't understand why I always had dates because who would want to date "a twig." I later came to realize it was a product of her own insecurity, but at the time it was incredibly hurtful.
If I had a dollar for every time I've been called "skinny b!tch" by a total stranger I could take us all out for milkshakes :noway:
Try to let the comments roll off your shoulders OP, people can be nasty but it's up to us to rise above that.
ooh milkshakes!!!
And just read your profile - miss WA usa? SWEeeeet. Rep Washington!
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A girl I considered a very close friend made a scene in front of a large group of our friends that no one should hug me because I'd break in half and went on to loudly comment that she didn't understand why I always had dates because who would want to date "a twig." I later came to realize it was a product of her own insecurity, but at the time it was incredibly hurtful.
If I had a dollar for every time I've been called "skinny b!tch" by a total stranger I could take us all out for milkshakes :noway:
Try to let the comments roll off your shoulders OP, people can be nasty but it's up to us to rise above that.
See, I am glad you commented because everyone thinks that heavier people are only harassed about their weight. It's not true obviously. We live in a society where people think if you are fat it's because you over eat and are a slob. Or If you're skinny its because you are bulimic and take pills. I had a few lady friends who were naturally thin and people started vicious rumors about how they threw everything up to be thin. Jealously makes people do some rude things
I know Its best to let it go. Deep down I wish I could have corrected here there and then but i know the only way i can stick it to her if to lose my weight and own it proudly.0 -
A pizza delivery guy asked me when I was due. I'm not even that overweight...I need to lose like 15 or 20 lbs at most...so it was really startling and out of the blue and SO OFFENSIVE!!
But, OP, what disturbs me most about your story is your boyfriend's lack of sensitivity in not coming to your defense. It's one thing if his brother doesn't, but your boyfriend should be your biggest source of support. I'm sorry he wasn't up to the challenge, and I hope that changes.
That pizza guy sounds like a complete idiot. I feel like he must of been high or something...
he claims he didn't understand what she was trying to say.
he said it went right over head. he never went to school with other people. hes been home schooled his whole life so he doesn't understand caty behavior.
:{ the husband knew what she was doing but he couldn't defend me because she accused him of liking me or something. idk she came to me once and told me i couldn't be friends with them because she was jealous of me and thought he husband and i had too much in common. it was stupid so i stopped talking to both of them. every time i see them its really awkward though.
OP, your boyfriend sounds like kind of a jerk.. based on the above and this:especially when i had a nervous breakdown the year before this happened because my S.O came out directly and told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore for gaining weight .
Because what she said was an obvious insult, so unless he's just completely oblivious to everything..
But then he's not attracted to you because you gain 40 lbs? I'm not saying that's nothing, but I mean, it's not like you doubled in size or anything..0
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