My husband cheating

Your family has been under a great deal of stress it sounds like, not taking up for hubby AT ALL:noway: , but from a psychological standpoint it's common that he might try to reach out to someone outside of your family troubles.....but he needs to turn to you, not away from you right now. Don't boot him just yet, try to work it out.

I was thinking the same thing, it may be his way to "escape" the pain of losing a child.
I'm sure there is additional stress in your relationship now and maybe the communication and sex life is not what it once was but that is understandable after what you are going through.
You definitely need to talk to him before it gets worse and find out what things you can work on together.
I would advise counseling and I find that the best counseling comes from a pastor and the bible if you attend church.
Good luck to you!! :flowerforyou:

I have to agree. You both have suffered a great lose. Try to work through this for your other children. Try to find out what he is thinking. He needs to know that you are upset and feel this is wrong.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you:flowerforyou:

Take care of yourself.

I can imagine all the emotions you must be having...

All I want to say is:
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
(They always say put your oxygen mask on first before helping others)

Is there any way that you can take your emotions and use them as a force for powerful and lasting change in your life?

There are lots of great resources online for infidelity (that's what this situation would be referred to if he "didn't do anything"). Google 'emotional infidelity' - that's what I did when I was having issues with this and I learned a lot. Actually, I was able to save my marriage and make it stronger after all was said and done.

Echoing the sentiments here. My heart breaks for you.:brokenheart:

I agree with those who have said that people sometimes "act out" when racked with grief. That doesn't explain or excuse his behavior but it might be worth looking at with a counselor. You've already had a huge loss . . . go slow with making decisions right now.

Meanwhile, hugs to you.

Hi

I'm SO sorry for the loss of your precious son....

I think the question is...will DH go to counseling and talk about why he did what he did (he was looking, but he wasn't going to seal the deal?)
There has to be a reason for his actions....maybe it is steaming from grief...
I know you said your son and Dh didn't have a close relationship...but he still may be grieving....maybe he is reacting to your grief (not in any way shape or form excusing his behavior)

Deep down...do you believe him?
Do you think this has been going on longer...or could it be a response mechanism if it's been only the past 2 mnths?
Do you have the energy right now to work on fixing your relationship?
Is it worth fixing?
Follow your heart and your gut....but please...I know you have been through something truely horrific....but don't settle for less....you deserve someone who loves you and will be faithful to you in every sense of the word

((HUGS))
Kim

Your family has been under a great deal of stress it sounds like, not taking up for hubby AT ALL:noway: , but from a psychological standpoint it's common that he might try to reach out to someone outside of your family troubles.....but he needs to turn to you, not away from you right now. Don't boot him just yet, try to work it out.

I think this is very sound advice. I would get into some couseling, going together would be the best, but if he's unwilling, go alone. There is no excuse for what he's doing, but there may be some reasons which have nothing to do with you or his devotion to you. Men often have difficulty dealing with emotions and look for some kind of escape. The fact that he was online and hadn't actually done anything is significant. I hope that you can get through this horrible time together.

As someone who's marriage was broken up due to an unfaithful spouse, my heart goes out to you.

you're in my prayers.

I am so sorry about your son - I can't even imagine

I too am unfortunetly part of the the club no one wants to join - (infidelity)
I stayed as well you need counseling first off - and really need to decide if your marriage is something you want try to salvage I'm almost 4 years out and it had to be one of the hardest things I had to deal with.

I'm not sure it if it's allowed but I belong to another message board as well

www.survivinginfidelity.com

it really helped when I had no one that could relate (((hugs))))

I am extremely sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I'm glad this forum is here for you and that you trust us to share your personal life with us. People deal with grief differently and maybe, just maybe your husband doesn't know how to deal with his. Men deals with things differently from women and sometimes we need to look at it from that point. Communication is the key in any relationship and right now you both need to communicate with each other and perhaps a counselor. It is a rough time for both of you. Don't make any decisions right now when things maybe unclear. I will definitely keep you and your husband in my prayers.

I cannot even fathom what you are going through right now. My heart and prayers are with you for your son. In concerns of your hubby I tend to go with our thinking. YOu know your situation better than any of us and personally if one does it once they are likely to do it again.

We are here for you stay strong.:flowerforyou: