How to not start a juice cleanse

zachbonner
zachbonner Posts: 4,285 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
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Replies

  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    ice cream.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Go to macdonalds and order anything but juice. Repeat until not on a juice cleanse.
  • Jewlz280
    Jewlz280 Posts: 547 Member
    ice cream.

    ^^^ THIS.
  • buzybev
    buzybev Posts: 199 Member
    Pepperoni pizza has always worked for me. That and chocolate.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    Coffee enemas.
  • Frank_Just_Frank
    Frank_Just_Frank Posts: 454 Member
    That depends, will you not be doing a vegan juice cleanse or will you not be doing a paleo version?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I vote for cheese. And steak.
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    ice cream.

    and pie.
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  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?
    dont you mean what do you NOT do?:flowerforyou:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?

    I can tell ya NOT to put your wang in it... but that's all I know.
  • LucasEVille
    LucasEVille Posts: 567 Member
    OMG people on MFP so HORRIBLE, this poor person only wants advice on how NOT to do a clense..... I heard from my friend's mother's pet dog's goldfish that it will help so don't bother trying to convince me otherwise with science or health studies.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    Fruitarianism leads to cleanses, so I've been told by the food industry, god I love the food industry!!!

    I.C.E. Cream Official Tester
    IKEA Professional Put Together-er
    Kickboxing Class Attender
    Been in fitness for about 2 years and have studied kitty-gif-ology, nutrition and Dinosaurs
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?

    Find some sucker to sell the juicer to.

    Rigger
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    Coffee enemas.
    BAHAHAH!
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Bean and cheese burritos
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  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?

    I can tell ya NOT to put your wang in it... but that's all I know.

    too late, wang stuck in juicer. wat do??!!?

    First, relax...
    Second, ice water...

    Shrinkage is key here.
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  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?

    Put pizza in it.

    For science.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234119-30-day-gelato-ice-cream-cleanse-diet

    This is an excellent cleanse for beginners.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    In

    For popcorn, pizza, chocolate, pie, ice cream. Let's see, what did I miss?
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  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    Do not drink juice reconstituted with contaminated water.
  • Chickee8586
    Chickee8586 Posts: 155 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?

    I can tell ya NOT to put your wang in it... but that's all I know.

    too late, wang stuck in juicer. wat do??!!?

    First, relax...
    Second, ice water...

    Shrinkage is key here.

    Then get an appointment at one of those gender reassignment clinics. Cause you ain't any use to us anymore doll.
  • LucasEVille
    LucasEVille Posts: 567 Member
    God you people are so mean. All I want o do is not juice things and you're telling me things to juice. GAWD

    Your totally right, because looking out for your health is mean. May I apologise on behalf of the MFP community as an official representitive of teh interwebs.
  • 89nunu
    89nunu Posts: 1,082 Member
    Recent forum topics actually had 'how to start a juice cleanse' and 'how not to start a juice cleanse' one after the other!

    tumblr_m4c18nD7hn1qhr47r.gif

    Well played mate!!
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    WHY WOULD YOU NOT CLEANSE??? It detoxifies and does stuff like...like...cleans things.
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.
  • Lifts4IceCream
    Lifts4IceCream Posts: 77 Member
    Wait, so you want to do something other than what Dr. Oz promotes! Your not going to be "healthy" if you go against the great and all-knowing Oz!

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