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  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    There is a lot of black and white with this crowd.

    There sure is.

    And a lot of basing opinions on just a few things posted without actually being inside the house to witness what is going on behind the scenes.
  • NeverCatchYourBreath
    NeverCatchYourBreath Posts: 197 Member
    I found out there was no real activity on his dating profiles, because well, I found them and accessed them and looked around,

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRa_zHDXLdjwJkW9IKYaPiZjkMVWOg30Wbm3iF-9NkhpIKPqB0_hg
    he had 2 profiles in the span of our relationship that appeared to have just answered questions, everything else was blank.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRa_zHDXLdjwJkW9IKYaPiZjkMVWOg30Wbm3iF-9NkhpIKPqB0_hg
    Another one was the same account we met on years before, I found that profile and it showed his last log in was about a month after one of our children was first born.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRa_zHDXLdjwJkW9IKYaPiZjkMVWOg30Wbm3iF-9NkhpIKPqB0_hg
    I confronted him about it, said I wanted the password - he gave it to me after he already accessed it first (he was at work), it seemed messages were deleted.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRa_zHDXLdjwJkW9IKYaPiZjkMVWOg30Wbm3iF-9NkhpIKPqB0_hg
    He also has an issue with watching porn, I know most men do, but I discussed this with him that I was not okay with it, and he agreed not to, and still went along with it behind my back.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRa_zHDXLdjwJkW9IKYaPiZjkMVWOg30Wbm3iF-9NkhpIKPqB0_hg
    I do know he never physically cheated on me

    Orly.jpg
    but I do want to make things work

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    EPIC FTW!
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    1. you only hit the tip of the berg.
    2. you have confronted him , which means those are JUSt the ones you Found. there are more
    3. porn - you were kind of out of line to require him to stop , which may have led to the other stuff,
    4. the login after your baby was born , perfectly normal, not ok, but normal ,
    the change in responsibilities makes lots of men want to do a "fish check"


    A. you are not ok with this
    B. he is not going to stop
    C. what about him, what is his personality?
    D. who controls the money etc?
    E who pays bills etc?
    F. whose name is the bank account etc in?

    The reason why i ask is because , if he has no responsibilities for home , bills etc . and you pay everything , and he works , you dont, he may feel marginalized, USED
    Another thing we tend to do this unknowingly as women we "infantize" our hubbys, we pay the bills manage the bank account take care of kids dogs etc, wash his socks launder his clothes pick up the dry cleaning .. never letting him be the man... because its generally simpler,... think about this before you toss off your vows.
    just my 5 cents
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Leave him.

    I was dating this guy for about a year, met him on a dating site. Thought he was being honest when he told me he deleted his profile and told me we were monogamous. Introduced me to the parents, family etc...

    My co-worker was on the same dating site and she accidentally came across his profile and emailed me like "hey isn't this your boyfriend?!"

    Haha, you are awesome! Great detective work and baiting.

    In the past, I've dated a handful of guys that I met online and most of them were very similar to your guy - they said things were exclusive between us, they said they deleted their profile(s) but in reality they never did - and there were always lots of excuses as to why they hadn't.

    Seems a lot of the online guys never want to get offline.

    OP - a number of commentators here are making you out to be the bad guy - the one that drove your man to behave dishonestly. I think that's a load of crap. Even if it was something you did, the mature response would be for him to talk to you/communicate, not maintain a profile on a dating site.

    Listen to your instincts and act accordingly. Good luck.
  • NinstonBiller
    NinstonBiller Posts: 69 Member
    Leave him.

    I was dating this guy for about a year, met him on a dating site. Thought he was being honest when he told me he deleted his profile and told me we were monogamous. Introduced me to the parents, family etc...

    My co-worker was on the same dating site and she accidentally came across his profile and emailed me like "hey isn't this your boyfriend?!"

    Well, I asked him about it again and he blatantly lied and said he completely deleted it and we were monogamous. So, I set him up. I made a fake profile with a cute girl's photo, he actually initiated the meeting (and said he'd be bringing a condom), and I sent him to my guy friend's house (he was in on it)

    My guy friend opened the door when he came in and he asked for the girl in the fake profile. He looked mortified! Haha!

    When the guy got back home from being confused/mortified about meeting a guy who he though was a cute girl (who he had exchanged several explicit fantasies with over instant message), I instant messaged him and told him we were over and to never contact me again.

    Yeah, I could have just broken up with him when my coworker emailed me with his profile and he lied about it, but it was WAY more fun to mess with his head! And, I was bored...

    A year later he came back to me apologizing for lying, and I admitted that I actually set up that entire scenario and the guy whose house I sent him to was a friend of mine. He was shocked, but somehow still wanted to get with me again. HA.

    You're a badass! that entire story made me smile.

    I told my girlfriend a few months in that if she EVER suspected me of anything just go ahead and dump me on the spot. I got nothing to hide and my only intention is to make her smile.

    Life is busy enough with School, work and trying to be fit, No one has time for all that "Extra".

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