Online Dating

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lq022
lq022 Posts: 232 Member
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Does anyone have experience with online dating?? More specifically, with Match.com? I am debating on whether to make a profile to start dating since I've never really dated before. I am totally stepping out of my element and am beyond terrified about the types of people I might come across. Mostly, I am curious as to what women have to say about what the guys are typically looking for ---- Are they actually looking to get to know someone before jumping into bed or is accepting a date basically an invitation for sex??? Any and all experiences are welcome!
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  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    I tried eHarmony and honestly it just felt like a lot of work. There were so many questions to answer, and even though I'm answering about myself, I felt like I was getting them wrong. I figured eHarmony might have guys that were a bit more serious, since it costs money, but I'm sure there are slimeballs on there too, of either sex.

    I did meet a nice enough guy, we dated for a bit, but there was no attraction so it ended quickly. He was looking for a relationship, not just sex.

    That's just my experience with online dating, I know lots of people have great success with it, it just didn't work for me.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    You've never dated before?
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
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    I was married before those sites even existed, but I met my wife on USENET, so I guess you can say online dating worked for me.
  • lq022
    lq022 Posts: 232 Member
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    You've never dated before?



    I went out a few times with a guy a couple of months ago, but other than that, I've never dated. I'm good at keeping people at a distance unfortunately, so it is definitely time to get in the saddle, even if it doesn't turn into a relationship.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    I have had a lot of good experiences with online dating. I've never had a bad date or anyone who treated me with disrespect. My advice is as follows:

    Be totally honest on your profile, even if you think it might narrow your field. There is someone for everyone.
    Chat with a prospective for a while to see if you think a date is worth it
    Give someone a chance who you might not think is your type (I did and he turned out to be the most wonderful man I've ever met)
    Always meet somewhere public for a low pressure date. coffee, a walk in a park, etc.
    Don't go in assuming all the men are out for a hook up. Of course a lot are, but they are pretty easy to spot.
    Trust your gut.
    Have fun. To me, every date was a little adventure. If he's not for you, you can still enjoy meeting someone new.

    I met my guy on Okcupid because I wasn't willing to spend money on a dating site. He was the first person who messaged me and my first instinct was "cute and nice, but maybe a weirdo dork". I was right on all counts and he is my love. :heart:
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    I think it's a nightmare. I've ended up on dates with married guys, guys who just want to hook up, one guy who "wasn't gay, but was seeing a guy on the side", people 100 pounds heavier than their photos appeared, people much older than claimed, etc. I gave up.
  • lq022
    lq022 Posts: 232 Member
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    I think it's a nightmare. I've ended up on dates with married guys, guys who just want to hook up, one guy who "wasn't gay, but was seeing a guy on the side", people 100 pounds heavier than their photos appeared, people much older than claimed, etc. I gave up.


    ehhh thats horrible .. sorry to hear that .....Do you mind me asking what site you used?
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    I've tried Match, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid.
  • punkture
    punkture Posts: 15
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    lol uses POF expects serious ppl..
  • kendall916
    kendall916 Posts: 4,222 Member
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    I've tried Match, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid.

    Yeah I hear ya! I've had a shoddy experience on POF, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep trying. With my bad experience I've learned to follow my gut more and catch the subtle hints if the person is not meant for me.
  • elissa71710
    elissa71710 Posts: 9 Member
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    Don't. just don't. I'm sure there are great stories out there but my mom ended up meeting someone that had been in prison for murdering his wife (in front of his daughter) in "self defense" and got off on manslaughter (in California.) He then moved all the way across the country to try to get away from his past. That story makes me tell everyone to just stay away from online dating!!! scary!!
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Over priced!
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    Don't. just don't. I'm sure there are great stories out there but my mom ended up meeting someone that had been in prison for murdering his wife (in front of his daughter) in "self defense" and got off on manslaughter (in California.) He then moved all the way across the country to try to get away from his past. That story makes me tell everyone to just stay away from online dating!!! scary!!
    You could meet someone like that anywhere...........people lie in real life too
  • khoshgeleh16
    khoshgeleh16 Posts: 150 Member
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    I've had a pretty good time with OKCupid, but you definitely need to learn how to filter the messages you get - so many copy/pasted messages from guys with 30% match ratings who clearly haven't read your profile, or creepy dudes who jump straight to sex talk without so much as a "by your leave". Once you learn how to ferret out genuine interest and decent personalities, it's usually smooth sailing!
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    I met my current significant other online and we've been together for 12 years now. I met him on a site that doesn't exist anymore - I can't even remember the name of it to be honest.

    But I gotta be honest, if I had to do it all over again, I would not do online dating. Why? Because people have this "kid in the candy store" mentality and are quick to jump ship if and when something comes along that they perceive might be a better deal.

    All dating is shallow, but online even more so.

    My advice is if you are going to do online dating, first: develop a VERY thick skin. And secondly, once you begin emailing a guy, meet him soon. Do not email back and forth and back and forth because it creates a false sense of knowing someone. And the first time you meet, meet for a very short visit - like coffee, or tea or whatever. Don't meet for a dinner or a movie. You have to make it quick for those cases where the guy walks in and has obviously lied about his appearance or his age, or you just obviously don't get along.

    And finally, be aware that there is a class of men who use online dating as their personal "hook ups." The game is to meet the woman, act very interested very soon, sleep with her, then disappear. Buyer beware. Good luck, whatever you choose to do.
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
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    So here is an honest opinion from a guy who used to creep those kinds of sites when I was about 20-22. (I don't anymore and never understood why I did.)

    POF is honestly pretty much a booty call website. Why? Because it's free and I wasn't about to pay money just so I could prey on women.

    So I would go with match.com or eharmony because you'll get through most of the idiots. Obviously not all. Be selective but not pretentious either. I have seen it work but you do have to work at it.
  • lq022
    lq022 Posts: 232 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses! I did have a plenty of fish and okcupid account when i was 21 but I didnt take it seriously, and I know the guys on there weren't serious at all. I can totally tell when I am being bull****ted or a guy is a creep -- I've had a few experiences with those types of messages where basically the guy could tell we weren't compatible so instead he asked me for just sex, which I wasn't interested in. I just feel like I am at a point in my life where I'd like to take dating semi-seriously and the guys that I know/tend to meet aren't what I want .... I understand there are creeps and weirdos everywhere, but you could meet someone face to face and come to find out they are crazy a few months down the road lol . I think I will give it a shot and if I find that I am uncomfortable with the whole experience, I can just delete my account. The money lost to me isn't a big deal, but I just dont want to be pressured into a shady situation. Again, thanks for all the comments!
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I've never used a dating website but I did meet my fiance on World of Warcraft, I was good friends with him for years and then we mutually confessed the crushes we had on each other and it kind of went from there.

    It worked out really well for us but I can't say that's the same as using something like Match.com, since it seems like that's more for setting up dates to go on in person with local-ish people (right? or am I wrong about this? I've only known a few people who used it)
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    I've had really good luck with okcupid. Made a friend the first time, and met my boyfriend the second time. I wouldn't recommend plenty of fish, their inbox has a ridiculously bad format, and I didn't meet many serious people there. Whatever you decide, just have fun with it! It's an experience and you will be putting yourself out there.
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    Ive met 3 amazing women off there over the years. The only problem is there is like 8 guys per girl and many women get overwhelmed with messages. Many sites actually post the ratios and statistics. Its hard for guys to meet women cause of the odds so they are in your favor so be picky. You can meet someone great. Just ignore the guys who ask for boob pics, cheaters, those who only want one night stands and grampas and you will find what you are looking for. As you can see on here, many met their husbands there.

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