why am i lying to myself?

subconcious fear of success? something is holding back those chances to make this work , it sounds like an emptional eating issue, you need to examine that first.

I used to do this. I started therapy and it has really helped. It's called self sabotage and it happens because of an underlying belief that you don't deserve something, or a belief that you aren't good enough etc. Something is happening that is keeping you from achieving your goals. If you can, I would see a therapist to understand these road blocks better.

This!

I'm not worthy of being who I once was because I know me and don't deserve to be happy.

This is something I struggle with as well. When I first started using MFP, I would think to myself, "If I just eat this cookie and don't log it, then it never even happened," which is not the case at all. I kind of got over that by making a resolution to log absolutely everything in MFP while NOT on any sort of healthy eating plan to prove to myself that I could watch the calorie count creep up without cheating. After that, logging became much easier and I find that I'm more honest with myself.

Also, as folks above me have suggested, seeing a therapist could really help if you continue to struggle. Absolutely everyone benefits from therapy!

I agree with the other posters. The underlying issue is that you need to believe in yourself and your ability to overcome minor "blips" in your new healthy lifestyle. If you find yourself gravitating toward unhealthy snacks, try finding really delicious healthier snacks. If you really need cookies, try eating half and throwing the rest away. Log what you do eat and know that if you go over one day, it doesn't mean anything about the next day. Surround yourself with positive messages and people. If you need more MFP friends, feel free to add me. YOU CAN DO THIS!

I was using food to either a) improve my mood artificially, instead of addressing the underlying reason I was unhappy enough that I needed to eat my feelings or b) to cause myself some harm, usually emotionally to reinforce that I'm a complete failure and don't deserve to treat my body well.

What has worked for me is to be conscious of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Some days I'm going to eat an entire pizza; as long as I recognize what I'm doing and don't make a habit of it, I don't stress it. There are going to be cookies and cakes and fast foods in the rest of my life. I have to learn to coexist with those things and enjoy them, rather than living on them. If that makes sense.

I bought myself an inexpensive bead bracelet and wear it every day.
Each time I look at it and fondle it, it reminds me of the reasons WHY I want to lose weight.
Having a physical reminder seems to help me whenever I start to lose focus.

My friends and I created a weight-loss support group and meet every week to weigh in.
Knowing that someone else is going to weigh me and mark my progress is a very good incentive.

Like alcohol and drugs, food can be a dangerous addiction.
Reading some literature about substance abuse and how to conquer addiction may help.

how do you keep your promises to yourself? what (helpful, please) advise would you offer me?

I make myself accountable by making public announcements of my goals and my progress. I have told my friends, my colleagues and my family about my commitments and I'm damned if I'm going to reneg on them.

In the past, when I tried to "lose weight" I was private about it so I couldn't let anyone else down if I failed.

Now if I fail, it will have real-world consequences to my credibility and my pride.

Maybe a foolish reason, but it's one of mine!

FTW

I did the same thing recently.

I was eating non-Paleo ice cream and gluten-free cookies when my boyfriend wasn't around.

All the advice I can give is that I think it was a stage.

I was just lacking self-control at the time.

I came here on MFP and fell in love with the idea that I could eat whatever I want and lose weight if I ate under my TDEE caloric goal.

I gain 7 lbs, almost tipped myself back in to the "obesity" BMI range doing it.

So, I just got serious.

I don't know what to say, I just wanted to eat and cheat and have cookies before, but than woke up one day looking at a scale number going up daily and knew what I had to do if I wanted to change that.

I guess I was just giving myself a break before another long stint of Keto.

A bracelet! I like that idea very much!

I eventually told my husband that I was eating bad things when I am out and about, and we just had this long open discussion about all the things that I was feeling. We do so much and never see how amazing we are, but the people around us see it. It's great that you came here to seek advice and was open about it all. In the long term you will see how this is all going to help you reach your goals.

how did you approach this topic with him? my boyfriend struggles with weight issues as well and its a sensitive topic for both of us.

I have the same issues and keep trying to address them with therapy (long underlying that I don't deserve it and not figuring out why I still feel that way but that's why I keep checking in with my therapist so we can find it and flip my switch).

I started by vowing to log everything (regardless of not wanting to see it) just to see my patterns so I can better identify the triggers and address those. Give yourself a month, just to see the patterns (or whatever other lie you need to tell yourself to get through the month of honest tracking). Trust me, you'll start doing little things like deciding against the impulse (or emotional) purchase of food and then eating it. You'll also start trying to go for walks, or other things to offset the emotional eating (it's the idea of starting to become an emotional exerciser instead).

I will say, you may have to do this several times through your journey but you will see results. Purchases and eating due to emotional reasons (depression, feelings of unworthiness, etc diagnosed or not) are going to happen if those are the things that brought you to your heaviest weight. You've got to do what you can to recognize the issues so you can address them.

After 50+ pounds lost for me, I'm finally starting to switch my thinking. Now I'm saying things like (making promises to myself and my son), when I get to OneUnderLand (so weight of 199 or less), I'm going to try Indoor Rock Climbing. I'm counting down the pounds, etc. That's my other helpful hint, find little rewards that are weight loss related but not food. Perhaps a massage at 10 or 15 pounds lost, or things like that. That is another way to overcome the emotional purchases/eating. If I give into this, then I can't have that idea and make it good enough that you don't want to give it up.

You recognize the problem so you're more than halfway there! You've got this!

My response is this (and as my mom says, take what you want and leave the rest...)

Evaluate yourself. On your drive to work/the gym/ wherever... turn the music off... sit in peace and ask yourself that question. Figure out what it is in your life that is "out of balance" or "not quite right".

For example... I found a relationship between when I feel "out of control" or when I'm "eating my feelings". When hubby and I had a fight and I didn't speak my mind - I ate my feelings. When my kids were acting crazy and I couldn't control their behavior, I ate my feelings.

Food was comfortable. Food was comforting. I didn't have to be anyone other than myself. I didn't have to "fix" food. It just made me feel better..... In the moment.

So... again.. that's just me... take what you want and leave the rest

If you're going to eat it, own it. A lot of times I will even prelog if I decide it's going to be an eat all the food day. That has put a damper on my bad days before. And if I eat more than I logged, I make sure to go back and log the rest. If I've totally lost track, I put in at least a thousand over what I know it had to be. Seeing MFP say "If every day were like today, you'd weigh 200 pounds in five weeks" is very sobering. At least it makes me try harder the next day.

^^this is very true for me

I do the same thing and I've done it all along. I've been rather successful in spite of my foolishness, but how much farther along would I have been if I just knocked it offf? Last week I was cutting up an onion, knowing full well that I should not eat onions due to the fact that they spike my blood glucose. I accidentally cut myself... Immediately stopped the bleeding and proceeded with my onion. Really? My blood glucose spiking up over 200 was probably much riskier than the cut on my finger but I deal with it immediately. I'll deal with eating things that I shouldn't tomorrow. Tomorrow, yeah...

For me you hit the proverbial nail on the head when you called it "lying" because the thing about the food demon in our head is to recognize the lies. You know the lie that begins with "eat because you've been feeling lonely and this ice cream will really help", or the one that says "may as finish this pizza because you already ate 3 pieces", or I'm just too tired to fix dinner tonight so fast food it is", or the really big lie " I'll just eat everything I want and start my diet tomorrow". Oh there are so many lies and my own ability to deceive myself astounds me. I would lie and tell myself that the constant severe pain I was in was not related to my obesity. I lied and told myself that since I was so disabled I couldn't exercise and of course I couldn't lose any weight being sedentary. Then there was the lie that it just wasn't my fault because being obese was genetic. My best lie though was the one that got me every time and it played constantly in my head and it went like this. "Food is my best friend and it never lets me down" Well, thank God I finally saw through the lie and I admitted that I was own worst enemy. It wasn't the RA that had helped cripple me, nor was it the heart disease and apnea that threatened my life everyday. Nope, it was my refusal to accept personal responsibility for my own health. I wanted my food fix and I wanted my doctors to fix me. Crazy as hell, eh? I had a wake-up at 339 pounds when I'd been housebound for more than 2 years and I tried to get a surgeon to replace my right knee. It hurt so bad that if I could have it amputated I would have considered it...seriousy. The first surgeon I went to said to me "Your weight is killing you". I actually looked at his face move from concern to astonishment when I replied, "I know". I went home and thought about this and even then I denied and lied for another 6 months until another surgeon referred me to a bariatric surgeon. I thought that perhaps that was a new chance for me and so I began the 6 month journey required by my insurance company before they would approve the surgery. I began a new mantra in my head that began to compete with the lie. The new mantra was a prayer really, a plea for strength to fight for my own life. One day at a time, one meal at a time I fought the lie. I made it through the holidays and I began to feel hope. At the end of the 6 months the bariatric surgeon told me I was rejected for the "sleeve" because of too many co-morbidities, but the good news was that I had lost 50 pounds. I just kept doing what I had been doing for 6 months, logging in several times a day to MFP, logging my food, substituting high calorie food for low calorie foods, eliminating completely the things I could not resist, and reading the many success stories I found here. Today I'm 118 pounds down and still putting one foot in front of the other. The lie still plays in my head but now I am more conscious ot it. I finally had my knee replaced last month and even the post surgery pain was a relief compared to before. I'm dong great in rehab and I'm off all heart meds except one, I breathe so much easier and my GERD is under control as well. I am no longer killing myself but I am living to keep on living. I'm also not arrogant enough to believe that I have it under control. Nope, I'm still vulnerable, but the difference is that I'm putting up a fight, resisting the lie, and some days I don't hear it at all.