Discrimination against skinny/fit women

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  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

    The phrase is "as soon". As in "She would as soon run me over". Maybe it was your brain they were trying to put out of its misery.

    How incredibly rude.

    I guess elementary forum skills would have eliminated your double post. Perhaps you should take the time to consider your own mental acuity, rather than poking sticks at someone else's.
    Lesson to take from all of this:

    SOME people are *kitten*, no matter what their (or your) weight.

    Case in point above.

    Except that "...just assume..." and "...just as soon..." Have radically different meanings, and she meant "..just as soon..." Elementary life skills say it matters what you say and that you use the correct words.
  • AllyBooMommyof2
    AllyBooMommyof2 Posts: 171
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    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?


    I've been fat my whole life. I don't discriminate against thin women at all. I envy them for taking better care of themselves than I have and look up to them for motivation to keep myself working so hard. Of course I do get discriminated against but I am positive some if not most of the time it's just my low self esteem biting me in the behind. I don't think it's any one group of people discriminating.. It's just whoever feels like being a mean grumpy butt in my opinion :). I never let the door slam in someones face although it does slam in mine sometimes. Woman saying those things to you are obviously just because they are jeleous it's perfectly fine to flaunt and be proud of what you have accomplished congrats. :)
  • angrydolly
    angrydolly Posts: 22
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    I don't judge people for being fat or skinny.

    any judgement really comes from a point of concern when I see unhealthy patterns. (I am not the epitome of perfect health either) I would rather work out with an overweight person who really wants to shed it and get healthy, than someone who is just doing it to do it.

    It usually kills me to see someone eating themselves to death, but not in an angry way, more in an empathetic way, I can't imagine getting to that point. I certainly cannot imagine the work and dedication it takes to reverse from that point either, I felt overwhelmed after a few years of trying to loose the same 15lbs, and my husband telling me I needed a stair master.

    I've caught a lot of slack because I never got extremely over weight, and have always made attempts at keeping myself thinner (weight problems are big in one side of my family in the women especially; so I am paranoid) and since I've always been conscious of it, I do catch the "you don't need to" "you're already skinny" I even had one of my customers tell me after my victory of reaching my target weight that I "looked sick"

    people are people, they're jealous, envious, and we all have our weaknesses. Some manifest differently, some handle them differently. I taught myself a few years ago to not be bothered by those types of behaviors, and feel more for the person acting that way than take personal insult, it's a personal insecurity with them.
  • spialelo
    spialelo Posts: 1
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    I don't have a skinny frame, more curvy/semi-toned, but I am personally sick of hearing the discrimination against skinny/fit women. I especially hate, "go eat a burger" or "real women have curves". Every time someone, female or male, bashes skinny women, I just think, "You're showing your insecurities, right now." You have to be not happy with yourself, to lash out & tear another person down, I feel. If you loved yourself, you would be trying to give others positive reinforcement and help uplift them. Whenever someone makes those comments around me, I have no problem telling them I find their comment uncalled for.
  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
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    Can't say I've ever wanted to run over someone because of their weight.

    I haven't actually thought about maiming anyone that was thin, skinny or otherwise. But now that you mentioned it....

    All jokes aside, it's a matter of being comfortable in your own skin - with who you are and not exactly what you look like or what people THINK you should look like. There will be haters on either side of the scale: learn to appreciate your own body and simply take care of that particular temple. Don't worry about trying to fit into someone else's skin or hating because you can't.
  • jennfr1
    jennfr1 Posts: 4
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    Dr. Phil once did a show about how extremely obese and extremely ugly people received avoidance from people. I was so moved by the ridiculousness of this plea for sympathy for fat and unattractive people given how nasty THEY (fat and unattractive people) are toward good looking and thin people that I wrote Dr. Phil asking him to do a show that uncovers how badly fat and unattractive people treat thinner and good looking people. I explained that as a good looking and thin women, I had enough hatred and nastiness thrown my way for absolutely no reason other than jealousy on the part of the hater that I could assure him he would have oodles of juicy footage and plenty to work with for the show WHEREVER he took his cameras and both ugly and good looking females were present. I've never seen a Dr. Phil show yet on the jealousy and hatred toward thinner good looking women. Its a shame because this hatred that fat and ugly people have toward good looking and fit folks needs to be exposed and acknowledged. Fat and ugly people at work make my life hell out of jealousy. Fatties and uggs make sure of it. Its a rare day that I leave the house and am not given the evil eye by multiple females, judged for being too skinny (I"m not skinny, I'm simply not fat), or am told something irrational about my appearance or conduct by some stranger female who doesn't even know me. I once applied for a job and was told by the fat and ugly hiring lady that I probably didn't need to work because my boyfriend took care of (I didn't even HAVE a boyfriend.) Insane and of course I didn't get the job. I can't count how many female friends I've lost because they were uncomfortable around me or suspicious of my intentions or infused with rage when men would strike up conversations with me in her presence. I've finally wised up after so many years of disrespectful and abusive treatment from fat and ugly women to stay away from them. They all present so sweet and kind of the surface, but they all eventually show their true colors. I try to limit my focus for friendships now to women who do not have weight issues and who appear to be comfortable and happy to live in their own skin and who don't sit around sizing up and leveling others. These women are not easy to find. Sad truth.
  • jennfr1
    jennfr1 Posts: 4
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    ALL jealousy is rooted in the insecurity of the person whose feeling it. All jealousy. Not "some"
  • jennfr1
    jennfr1 Posts: 4
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    It's easy to not be bothered by them when you're not taking the brunt of them on a daily basis. And what is "People are people"?
  • jennfr1
    jennfr1 Posts: 4
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    Whose "flaunting?" Is walking around "flaunting?" Kind of like "breathing" and "existing." Right?
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    OP is from 2012…strong thread resurrection
  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
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    Dr. Phil once did a show about how extremely obese and extremely ugly people received avoidance from people. I was so moved by the ridiculousness of this plea for sympathy for fat and unattractive people given how nasty THEY (fat and unattractive people) are toward good looking and thin people that I wrote Dr. Phil asking him to do a show that uncovers how badly fat and unattractive people treat thinner and good looking people. I explained that as a good looking and thin women, I had enough hatred and nastiness thrown my way for absolutely no reason other than jealousy on the part of the hater that I could assure him he would have oodles of juicy footage and plenty to work with for the show WHEREVER he took his cameras and both ugly and good looking females were present. I've never seen a Dr. Phil show yet on the jealousy and hatred toward thinner good looking women. Its a shame because this hatred that fat and ugly people have toward good looking and fit folks needs to be exposed and acknowledged. Fat and ugly people at work make my life hell out of jealousy. Fatties and uggs make sure of it. Its a rare day that I leave the house and am not given the evil eye by multiple females, judged for being too skinny (I"m not skinny, I'm simply not fat), or am told something irrational about my appearance or conduct by some stranger female who doesn't even know me. I once applied for a job and was told by the fat and ugly hiring lady that I probably didn't need to work because my boyfriend took care of (I didn't even HAVE a boyfriend.) Insane and of course I didn't get the job. I can't count how many female friends I've lost because they were uncomfortable around me or suspicious of my intentions or infused with rage when men would strike up conversations with me in her presence. I've finally wised up after so many years of disrespectful and abusive treatment from fat and ugly women to stay away from them. They all present so sweet and kind of the surface, but they all eventually show their true colors. I try to limit my focus for friendships now to women who do not have weight issues and who appear to be comfortable and happy to live in their own skin and who don't sit around sizing up and leveling others. These women are not easy to find. Sad truth.

    Are you Samantha Brick?
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
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    Dr. Phil once did a show about how extremely obese and extremely ugly people received avoidance from people. I was so moved by the ridiculousness of this plea for sympathy for fat and unattractive people given how nasty THEY (fat and unattractive people) are toward good looking and thin people that I wrote Dr. Phil asking him to do a show that uncovers how badly fat and unattractive people treat thinner and good looking people. I explained that as a good looking and thin women, I had enough hatred and nastiness thrown my way for absolutely no reason other than jealousy on the part of the hater that I could assure him he would have oodles of juicy footage and plenty to work with for the show WHEREVER he took his cameras and both ugly and good looking females were present. I've never seen a Dr. Phil show yet on the jealousy and hatred toward thinner good looking women. Its a shame because this hatred that fat and ugly people have toward good looking and fit folks needs to be exposed and acknowledged. Fat and ugly people at work make my life hell out of jealousy. Fatties and uggs make sure of it. Its a rare day that I leave the house and am not given the evil eye by multiple females, judged for being too skinny (I"m not skinny, I'm simply not fat), or am told something irrational about my appearance or conduct by some stranger female who doesn't even know me. I once applied for a job and was told by the fat and ugly hiring lady that I probably didn't need to work because my boyfriend took care of (I didn't even HAVE a boyfriend.) Insane and of course I didn't get the job. I can't count how many female friends I've lost because they were uncomfortable around me or suspicious of my intentions or infused with rage when men would strike up conversations with me in her presence. I've finally wised up after so many years of disrespectful and abusive treatment from fat and ugly women to stay away from them. They all present so sweet and kind of the surface, but they all eventually show their true colors. I try to limit my focus for friendships now to women who do not have weight issues and who appear to be comfortable and happy to live in their own skin and who don't sit around sizing up and leveling others. These women are not easy to find. Sad truth.


    Oy.
  • lucille_heather
    lucille_heather Posts: 650 Member
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    I think as woman we always want what we dont have.
    I've been stick skinny in the past and had over weight woman being vile to me saying that i should eat and blah blah. But then ive been 20lbs bigger than I am now, and although I never had any vile comments from people, i wanted to be skinnier.
    I think we just all compare ourselves to other people.
    its sad that woman cant empower one another, and instead feel the need to put each other down.
  • SymphonynSonata
    SymphonynSonata Posts: 533 Member
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    In
  • estaticaa
    estaticaa Posts: 67 Member
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    Where I live (Portugal), I don't get hate from women. Not when I was in good shape, bad shape or in between. Mind you, over here it's really rare to find extremely obese people. Most people you see on the streets are at a normal weight or just slight overweight, so maybe that has got something to do with it

    What I do notice is that men are more chivalrous when I'm in better shape and, for some reason, that upsets me the most. For example, I started experiencing this a lot at the gym lately. When I first joined, the guys were mostly indifferent, but recently some of them decided for some reason I needed help adjusting the equipment and now all of a sudden they are charming and nice (the same ones that weren't before). Well, I am not rude so I thank them and smile back at them, but internally all I want to yell at them and say "*kitten* you, you didn't help me when I first joined, so what makes you think I need your help now that I actually know how this all works?"
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

    Not me, but a friend of mine was called a 'skinny *****' by one of her closest friends after she lost weight. It was very awkward.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    I have no idea what I wrote her on the first go round, and I have probably changed my tune a bit.

    There is no systemic discrimination against people who are thin and/or look like what we perceive to be "fit." This appearances based judgement actually has no quantitative proof that people who "appear fit and healthy" are actually acting healthy and fit.

    I think some posters are pretty confused about what discrimination is. An individual being rude or making comments about your appearance and so on is really just someone who is rude or potentially jealous. But you won't find that society shuns you as a thin or fit appearing person or you get dissed for job interviews and so on. Discrimination is systemic, and not just rude behavior. If you find there are no accommodations for you to get clothing at the mall, or if there is no equipment that fits you in the hospital, or the media can make remarks on your appearance and not face outrage, then we are getting a lot closer to discrimination. When you go to the doctor, and your physician tells you the reason you have a headache or other health issues, the answer is to lose weight and doesn't actually dig any deeper, that's discrimination.

    I know it feels terrible if someone derides your appearance or makes comments on what you should or should not be doing, but "thin" people aren't systemically discriminated against. Not being a victim of discrimination does not mean your experiences of rude behavior or being discounted, but we need to look at issues of discrimination in terms of the entire society/system, not interactions between individuals.
  • SugarBaby71
    SugarBaby71 Posts: 3,630 Member
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    I was told that I could not join a particular fitness group because I am too small. *smh
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I discriminate against all people. I don't like them.

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