Failing :(

I have no clue how to log some of the stuff he cooks.

can you watch him cook and guess? personally, I'd just do my best and get into the good habits of logging as accurately as I can.

I agree with AliceDark completely! Small changes, this isn't a punishment it's an improved lifestyle, and go easy on yourself.

I think it's time for you to step out of the child role in your family (being cooked for, being shopped for) and into the adult role. Which means you have to be firm with your parents, clue them into your goals and do your best to get their support.

Spend time in the kitchen with your dad and watch how he cooks, quantities and ingredients. If you have to, say you're making a note of the recipe just so that you know what you're eating.And who knows when you might want to recreate his cookery?

To change things you can't just claim helplessness, if you truly think there's nothing you can do that might help you, strangers on the internet are unlikely to be able to help.

Be clear with your mother about exactly what you don't want in the house and why you don't want it, and if she must buy it to either hide it or to get those tiny one-portion packs so that you can't overdo it. Go shopping with her if you must, and explain to her what your goals are and what you need to achieve them.

Your best hope is to get them on your side and they can be your encouragement and your help when you need it. You don't want to do this all on your own. Let them be part of the solution. Don't fall into dejection and despair, this isn't over while you choose to play on.

This is pretty spot on...you said your brother didnt eat 80% of the food in th the house...how did he manage that?

Its a struggle but do what you can and the first step is to realize you are not a failure...you had the courage to be open with it here..putting it in writing kinda throws it in your face and you should feel good about that.

if small baby steps are all you can manage then take them...eventually they will turn into strides...

either way good luck to you.

First off, let me start by saying I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, so I am not using this as an excuse, but it really has messed with me mentally and is a big part why I have struggled for so long on losing weight. I have always struggled with low self-esteem, beating myself up mentally, etc.

I joined MFP last year and for a while, was doing really great and had an unusual boost of self-appreciation and high self-esteem. I dropped around 17 lbs between March and June, but since then, my weight loss halted and mentally I started tearing myself apart again. Then things got worse as my marriage fell apart Oct/Nov, and now my 2 year old and myself are living with my parents again. (Since Nov, 2013)

So, since my parents kinda control the food for the most part, I found myself also just eating whatever. I have gained some weight back and now hovering around 230-233 again. I did however manage to stick to some of the things I removed from my diet/life, like I only drink water and coffee; and only drink almond milk (cow milk messes with me). But as far as controlling my eating, I am finding it harder and harder. I know -what- I need to do, but I just struggle mentally to do it.

I was trying to walking/jogging and do C25K, but I find myself giving up because as much as I really do enjoy it, my shin splints act up really bad. I have a bike and do like riding it, but I find myself making up dumb excuses to not do it. I have a cart as well so my 2 yr old son can ride with me and he does enjoy it, mostly. (Sometimes he shakes it and fusses, which has almost caused me to wreck a couple times.)

I just wish I could mentally get myself back into a good spot and work on this. It is a constant struggle and I am always beating myself up for it. It is a horrible and vicious cycle. I want to be healthy for myself and my son. I want to teach him good habits while he is young so he doesn't end up overweight and face bullies like I did.

Oh and also, I have a very unhealthy addiction to freakin Nutella. Screw that stuff and my mom keeps buying it and I can't seem to say "NO" to it. I need help....:(

Hi - I know you said you have a disorder, and if you feel that way - though true - still here is the key to overcoming it - act like you dont have it. Feel about yourself (while you know in your mind that you have it) but still go about your life as if you are cured from it. it might greatly change your outlook and things getting you down. its kinda like that phrase "fake it till you make it" for some reason, the way we think about ourselves is kinda how we act and feel about ourselves. its kinda like a person with no leg going for a walk and not letting their disability stop them from out jogging. it makes a huge difference. When you begin to feel like you are "handi-capable" rather than "handi-capped" it makes A huge difference!

Try to imagine the Nutella as having something really gross in it.



I won't have it in the house. No way.

I think that it has too much sugar (something really gross) in it.

First off, you're not failing! And that is coming from a lady who's had 2 failed marriages, and struggles with clinical depression with a 9 year old son.

From one self-saboteur to another, baby steps and cheer them on. So as everyone says, log everything. Watch your dad cook and create the measurements as best you can so you can recreate it in the recipe section of the diary. Then you can log that fairly accurately too. Every day that you log everything, give yourself a pat on the back. Include your child. 2 years old is still old enough to tell "mommy" that she's doing a good job. Make a big deal about how good veggies are (I did this with my son around age 2 and he now thinks that green beans with a little bit of Cajun seasoning is as good as candy).

You have to switch your thinking and that starts with you. Before you come up with a "but" for that, understand that I'm currently 44 years old, (45 in a few weeks) and I've proven time and again that I can quit bad-mouthing myself, knocking myself down. Yes, old habits die hard and I have to constantly work at it (especially when I'm in the middle of a depression) but it can be done. Every morning when you wake up, tell yourself (out loud) something you like about you. Every night before bed, tell yourself (out loud) something that you did right (well, good, are happy with etc). Sticky notes (or dry erase markers on the mirror) in the bathroom about how you're worth it, about how you're a good mother, about how you're getting healthier each and every day. Nothing but positives surrounding you. Trust me, within 30 days, you'll see a change in your attitude. As a side note to this, the recent divorce (from my son's father) had originally hit me really hard (my ex left on my birthday and filed for divorce 2 months later). My motto "I'm doing it for the DAMN, you got HOT!" came from the divorce and there are so many other reasons I'm doing the weight loss now but I still like to think about how "sad" his dad will be when he realizes that he let a "hot thing like me" get away.

Start with an "I can" attitude even when you don't believe it!

You can do this! (BTW - you can have Nutella but you have to learn moderation with it. I believe you can learn that too!)

Just a thought on shin splints, when I first started jogging mine hurt too. I had to slow down until I got stronger, after a month or so I increased my speed with no pain. For me, jogging slow, at about the same pace as fast walking, is still a better workout than walking. I felt like an idiot on the jogging path but I improved and now pretty much look like a normal jogger

Even in the best of circumstances, ending a relationship and moving are incredibly stressful things. A few years ago, I was on a good path to being healthy before my 6+ year relationship ended, and between that and some other circumstances in my life at the time, my self-esteem went right down the drain and diet and exercise went right along with it. I spent a long time beating myself up, thinking my way into a negative thought spiral, and I had to kick all of that before I was able to re-start.

What worked for me was shifting focus away from the scale and my body and towards food. Instead of weight loss being the goal, healthy eating became my goal. A goal of eating 5 veggies today is much easier to grasp than a goal of losing ___ pounds, which can take weeks, months, or even longer. I'm not saying that this will work for you, just that it worked for me.

I hope that you have some sort of counseling or support group to help, and that you're thinking of what you can do to cope with your disorder.

As far as the food in the house, maybe it would be good for you to start buying your own groceries. Ask for your own shelf on the fridge, your own cabinet, etc. Prepare your own meals, and don't even think about the food that isn't yours. And hopefully you will be able to move out sooner rather than later so that you can get yourself back on track.

You have to switch your thinking and that starts with you. Before you come up with a "but" for that, understand that I'm currently 44 years old, (45 in a few weeks) and I've proven time and again that I can quit bad-mouthing myself, knocking myself down. Yes, old habits die hard and I have to constantly work at it (especially when I'm in the middle of a depression) but it can be done. Every morning when you wake up, tell yourself (out loud) something you like about you. Every night before bed, tell yourself (out loud) something that you did right (well, good, are happy with etc). Sticky notes (or dry erase markers on the mirror) in the bathroom about how you're worth it, about how you're a good mother, about how you're getting healthier each and every day. Nothing but positives surrounding you. Trust me, within 30 days, you'll see a change in your attitude.

I agree with this. Whenever you feel yourself beat yourself up, consciously choose to tell yourself something good about yourself. Maybe even write it down, so you have it to go back to when you start to draw a blank.

I'm dealing with some major insecurity issues right now, and whenever I start the negative self-talk, I remind myself that I have studied math, physics, and a number of foreign languages, and I lift friggin' boulders. That helps me remember that I am an amazing and capable person.

And when you can't remember to do this when you start beating yourself up, don't beat yourself up about that! :laugh: Just jump in where you are and try to do better next time the negative self-talk starts. Pretty soon you'll remember to do it every time. And eventually, you probably mostly won't need to do it, because the negative self-talk will diminish.

We know you can do this, so it's time you knew it too! :happy:

Just a thought on shin splints, when I first started jogging mine hurt too. I had to slow down until I got stronger, after a month or so I increased my speed with no pain. For me, jogging slow, at about the same pace as fast walking, is still a better workout than walking. I felt like an idiot on the jogging path but I improved and now pretty much look like a normal jogger

Also, you may want to get fitted for better shoes. I was doing the C25k program and was getting serious shin splints. I went to Omega Sports and had a video done of me walking and found out I needed stability shoes, and after that minimum problems (I developed a Morton's Neuroma but the shin splints were gone).

so many bad things have happened in my life, death and a variety of chaos and unhappiness.I have gained hell of a lot of weight due to a thyroid issue and its very soul destroying. I dont have a supportive family or group of friends. My MFP friends are great though. I struggled for so long to lose a lot of weight quickly by restricting myself. I have finally got to a point of losing 1lb per week just by eating 1 choc bar a day instead of 2 and cutting the lattes down to teas etc, I could push myself further but I really dont feel Im ready. Because of my history with being out of control with food in the past I am SO happy with small losses and dont see myself a failure anymore.

Hope this help, add me if you want. I truly havnt even scratched the surface with the crappy life Iv had but it gets better I swear and Im here if you need a chat xx

I wasn't sure what the disorder you have was so I looked it up. Think I might have the same thing, so I learnt something interesting today! I think to get started you should find a specific reason to get healthy..your son. You want to be the best version of yourself for him so you can love him and raise him to the best of your ability! so to start focus on that, you're doing this for him. Then as you start losing weight you'll start to feel a little better about yourself and that will give you more motivation. You'll start to want to do it for you too. Start with slow changes. a small deficit, still eat nutella just a little less of it. Just know that your worth it and you deserve to have a happy healthy life just like everyone else. Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou: