I Hate my Gym/Confidence Issue

"Comparison is the thief of happiness."

You don't know these women at all. Many probably struggle every day, and are just as trapped by the image norms surrounding them as you are. Maybe you can try to make some friends and stop viewing them as a foreign species to yourself. If you can't, it sounds like that gym is a bad fit. ideally, you leave the gym feeling awesome, not down on yourself!

I also think that you are feeling some really normal stuff. I've heard that a lot of people are much more self-critical after losing weight, maybe because your self-esteem gets very tied to the work you're doing on your body. Can you shift your focus to performance goals? You know you rock- you lost 95 pounds!

I feel this way sometimes when I go to the gym at my university and am working out in the weight area. I have felt the "these girls look so nice in their cute little exercise outfits and here I am in my running shorts and a t-shirt that I acquired from who knows where" and I have thought the occasional "wow these people seem to really know what they're doing and I'm just some noob that knows nothing about lifting... i should just go back to my spin bike and give up."
Cliffs:
list of insecurities and thoughts to combat them
basic point of post is: OP don't beat yourself up! You've come such a long way and have such great potential.
keep your head up and benefit of spinning is they turn off the lights (at least the class I attend) to keep people focused on their own their own workout.

What I've tried to do to help fight against these thoughts and feelings is this:
1. Just because they look nice in their little outfits doesn't mean that their fit, know what they're doing, or are judging me because of my outfit, size, lack of ability to push heavier weight than them (lol).
2. To be honest I don't really know what exercises they do or the intensity that they do it at. I'm not watching them that closely which probably means they aren't watching me that closely either.
3. They were noobs at one point too and didn't know what they were doing and probably felt just as insecure.
4. They're only people too and I shouldn't judge them just like i don't want to be judged.
5. Let them think what they want. I don't have any problems with people thinking whatever they want be it good or bad. I can't control that. Even if they were to come up to me and say something rude I still wouldn't care about what they said. Just shows that they are still insecure and need to feel superior to someone else in order to stroke their own egos. , but from what i've found most people in the gym a)don't care what you're doing and b) are there for fitness and are generally very nice

The list could go longer, but inb4 too long didn't read

regardless of all that though everyone has their insecurities. It's just up to you if you're going to let it hold you back and stop you from achieving what you want, plus people are more than likely not thinking about anything else besides their own work out.
Hope this helped.
Best of luck OP.

This is not meant to be rude at all, so take it exactly as I say it, no subtext, alright?

Don't watch the 5'10 blondes. Put your head down and do your work. Worry about yourself. Work out so hard that the very idea of pausing to people watch becomes absurd. Keep doing this until you stop caring.

Good luck. :flowerforyou:

Before i started mfp, whenever i saw a slim/skinny person jogging down the street, i used to think "wtf are they jogging? not like they have anything to lose". Then i started mfp and it made me realise that just because someone is slim or skinny does not mean they aren't going through their own battles. Many people exercise for various reasons e.g weight loss, to relieve stress, to eat more food while not compromising their body. It's the reason why a ton of mfp losers keep up with their calorie counting and exercise cos no one wants to start the cycle all over again. Now, imagine if someone thought just because they looked great, they've probably never had to struggle with their weight. Point is, don't judge or jump to conclusions as to why someone else is at the gym

No one is looking at you nor pointing at you and even if they are, tough s**t, they can watch you turn into greatness. Go to the gym, do your thing, walk out like a soldier!

Some people are bigger than me and some people are smaller than me. Me personally, I am inspired by women who have great toned figures. I look at them and it makes me work harder to get my results. As for the larger women, at times, I am inspired by them as well. If they are here busting their butts, so can I. It goes both ways.....

I would also like to add that the fit people at the gym is actually helpful if you look at it this way - they have to work at it too. Somehow I assumed that MOST beautiful people that weren't packing a ton of muscle came by their bodies fairly easy. I knew they didn't eat like me but I had no idea how much dedication it took for some people. Why assume they were never large and even if not why not admire them for putting in this constant work. They look and feel better than the current me but if I can put in the work than I too will look and feel better than the current me. I especially love the older fit ladies, I would love to be that active and be able to enjoy my later years.

Fit women in the gym give me hope.

"I still remember when I started at the gym, and saw a lot of people who were in much better shape. I didn't worry about it though. That is kind of the point of the gym. You are using the gym so that you can get in shape and get healthier.

Personally, when I'm on the treadmill running 5-7 miles at a 9:00 pace, and someone who is overweight hops on the treadmill next to me and goes for a walk or a short jog, I personally think to myself "Kudos to that person. He/she making him/herself healthier". Anyone who goes to the gym or goes for a walk or run or bike ride, no matter what their current physical condition is taking control of their future.

Maybe I'm in the minority of gym users. I couldn't tell you what percentage of gym users are judgmental gym snobs and what percentage are like me. But you know what? It does not matter. If you let that worry you, you get off track from your own personal goals. You are not trying to run faster or farther than the girl next to you. You aren't trying to bench press more than that guy over there. You aren't trying to compete in any way with anyone else at that gym. You are competing with yourself. YOU set YOUR OWN goals. YOU are competing with YOURSELF. Anyone that says or thinks differently deserves to be ignored.

I go to the gym to workout and take care my body, and I see people in there doing the same, I don't care in what shape they are, I may be selfish but I want to focus on myself, I don't really care if they judge me or not.

It's a mind over matter thing for me. I pay big bucks to be there and use all their resources just like everyone else. No one is going to run me out because of my insecurities. I figure, if they don't like looking at me, they can leave.

This is not meant to be rude at all, so take it exactly as I say it, no subtext, alright?

Don't watch the 5'10 blondes. Put your head down and do your work. Worry about yourself. Work out so hard that the very idea of pausing to people watch becomes absurd. Keep doing this until you stop caring.

Good luck. :flowerforyou:

^^ This. All day long. :flowerforyou:

Ugh. Gym-going in SoCal is a nightmare. I hate my gym right now. It's over-crowded, I'm always the only girl using actual adult-sized weights (not the cute little 5-pounders that the other girls use) and if one more guy interrupts me to hit on me, I'm going to knee him in the junk and run away. I still prefer it to the super shiny gyms where everyone else is 5'10" and blonde, though.

At some point, you really just have to say "eff it, I'm going to do what I can do. As long as it's better than what I did yesterday, I'm calling it a win." If they want to interrupt their workout to stare at my sweaty, short little self, with my hair that's usually doing something weird and my makeup that's melting off, that just means they're not getting their burn in. Just rock your own workout and don't worry about them.

Chances are, there's something you can do that they can't. (This attitude comes in REALLY handy when I'm feeling insecure about my wimpy upper days. I just have to remind myself that there probably isn't one muscle-bound guy in the gym who could keep up with me on leg days).

do you have a planet fitness in your area?? I used to feel the same at the gym and i started going to planet fitness last week and i love it!!! You even have a trainer available all the time. Good luck and congrats on your weight loss

I spent 30+ years in south county (now I live in Florida) and I know exactly what you are talking about. SoCal is in its own realm. (I lived in Silverado/Lake Forest/Laguna) and when I initially was losing a lot of weight I felt very intimidated....but like others have said, its really just us being paranoid. When I see someone walk into the gym now I generally give them a glance, and never look at them again. My husband and I just visited Laguna in March and its weird because I felt just like I did when I lived there...not good enough....BUT I am, and I am getting stronger every day, just like you are. Keep it up and don't worry about them...

This is the kind of stuff that makes me glad I go to the gym dark and early in the morning. No one's there yet and I get free reign to workout without distraction.

I'm busy working and checking myself out in the mirror. I'm not looking at others too much. Maybe the occasional cardio bunny who catches my eye. But nothing more than to objectify her for a moment. )

I respect almost everyone that walks into the gym. They're helping our obesity epidemic.