I cant lose weight

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Replies

  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
    Have you tried weighing yourself with lighter clothes and no shoes on?
    That should help.
  • Goin4goal
    Goin4goal Posts: 129 Member
    BACON - you need BACON!!!!!
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I just polished off a can of chili. After microwaving that bad boy and it started splattering all over the microwave, I didnt even bother cleaning it. I even left a chili bean for the next occupier. I poured it over a 32oz bag of Fritos!! Those things are addicting I tell you. Add a little hot sauce, lemon and we are in business.
  • MelisaBegins
    MelisaBegins Posts: 161 Member
    Oh honey, it's probably the sodium in the yummy Chinese food, don't you worry your pretty head about it one single bit. Just call it water retention and shrug it off and when you're done, just keep being awesome!
  • caringiscreepyx
    caringiscreepyx Posts: 34
    This is too good :bigsmile:
  • PinUp2014
    PinUp2014 Posts: 79 Member
    Try a Cola Enema, you're obviously holding on to toxins from all the muscle weight you're gaining.
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    Try burger king rather than mcdonalds, it is much better for you
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    Try the Taco Bell cleanse, in no time you will be back to your original weight.
  • MrsRoeder2013
    MrsRoeder2013 Posts: 10
    Your problem is Coke, you should totally be drinking Mountain Dew... Much healthier and your not getting enough mac sauce on your 2 big mac's... You need to double it!
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 413 Member
    You must be not weighing and measuring EVERYTHING. And your list is missing condiments. You're eating WAY more than you think :wink:
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
    If you switch to diet coke you can totally supersize everything else.

    Almost right - need to do the Diet Coke and Menthos cleanse. It's easy to see how you made this simple mistake with all the bad info that's out there.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    thanks for your help. Now tell me what to do with TDEE?
  • mantium999
    mantium999 Posts: 1,490 Member
    Make sure you account for your creamy filling?
  • PinUp2014
    PinUp2014 Posts: 79 Member
    Dude, you need more fruit and grain. Wine and beer ought to help. Get rid of the Coke...that has no nutritional value. Substitute beer and wine. Vodka is made from potatoes, so that's practically a vegetable.
    :drinker:

    I love you and want to marry you right now.

    Guinness is Ensure for the Irish :smokin:
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Get on Fetlife and look for the chubby chasers....

    Well...Hel...lll..ooo...ooo..ooo!!!
  • Kadoober
    Kadoober Posts: 289 Member
    Mad.
    Muscle.
    GAINZ!
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Also...some doctor folk said you should exercise 30 minutes per day. I think you're aiming a bit low. Try increasing it to walking/running up/down the stairs for 30 minutes. You should be just fine. Also, pass me those gas station donuts.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Help I need dinner ideas!
  • JazmineYoli
    JazmineYoli Posts: 547 Member
    BACON - you need BACON!!!!!

    QFT.
    You are missing the most important part of your weight loss plan.
  • JazmineYoli
    JazmineYoli Posts: 547 Member
    Oh and try a this in the meantime to make your wife happy


    man-girdle-20121.jpeg
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Oh and try a this in the meantime to make your wife happy


    man-girdle-20121.jpeg

    Nice they now make spanx for men??? What is this world coming to???
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
    Try a Cola Enema, you're obviously holding on to toxins from all the muscle weight you're gaining.

    This^^
  • crissi725
    crissi725 Posts: 82
    Really?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I just cant seem to lose weight. My diet consist of the following and rarely do I deviate.

    AM: A bear claw donut, wash that down with a two liter of Coca Cola classic.

    AM Snack: I go and graze whats left from the box of donuts I brought in.

    Lunch: 2 Big Macs, a large Fry, and Large Coca Cola. I then stop by the convinence store to pick up another two liter of Coke.

    Afternoon snack: Usually I have some gram crackers, Oreo double stuffed cookies, etc.

    Dinner: Usually the all you can eat Chinese Buffet and usually have 4 plates worth.

    Desert: Usually pie, ice cream, etc.

    I exercise daily, usually I run up the stairs for 2-5 minutes and call it quits. My scale doesnt seem to go down only increase. Could my scale be broke?

    Oh and my wife is mad because I am fat. She puts me down all the time. I come here and other adult dating websites to get positive feedback and women picking up on me setting up dates. What should I do???



    By my calculations you're approximately 4,364,098,389,028,201 over your daily caloric goal. As others have stated, switch to diet coke and you're golden.

    NO you can't have diet coke!!!! It's full of asparagustame which turns to carbon tetrachloride in the gut thus poisoning you from the inside and giving you verbal diarrhoea and it also releases radioactive compounds like thorium and neptunium which makes you slowly die from radiation poisoning.
  • rdsxfn
    rdsxfn Posts: 58 Member
    thanks for your help. Now tell me what to do with TDEE?


    TDEE is like Ta Da. After polishing off the 2 Big Macs you yell Ta Da! Then pat yourself on the back as you've met a daily goal.

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