Failing :(

You have gotten a lot of great advice. I understand how you feel and it is not easy. One thing, you have to make a life change for yourself, that you can keep up with. This means when the next time your stressed, you move, or something changes, you can still work around that change and keep up with your weight/fitness goals. This is my ultimate goal, to keep up with my weight for the rest of my life and never go back to emotional eating, over eating, and just eating. What better time than now to change, not tomorrow, not later, but now. If you want to change, than start trying. I made so many excuses for myself during the last year when I could have been just doing, and probably feeling better about my stressed out situations.
I am not going back to who I was before I started losing, even if something horrible happens, I will keep learning to live healthy with food. I love my runs outside. Or at least I fake it enough to do it at times ^_^ This is what a life change means. I am still working on it and will keep it up, till I am happy with it. I struggle but I keep getting back up.
I looked up your disorder. I fit that, however, I have never thought of my personality as a disorder or anything, just weak points to work through. And doing for your son or someone else really will only get you so far, you will have to make it about you. Do a work out vid at home if possible, go outside on walks or to the park with your son. Watch your dad cook, ask to cook, limit your potions, write everything down, and talk to your parents too. You have control over you and your life, even when you feel like the control slips, it is still there. I have to remind myself of this, alot!
As far as your can not resist food, it is hard, I buy cookies and eat 6, well, bought some, ate 3 one day and than one a day after. I was soooo happy with myself. However Cinnamon Disc hard candies, I still have little control over. :grumble: Taking it one step at a time is great, or two steps at a time. Do what you can now, right this moment.
Good luck hun :flowerforyou:

Also, that really offends me that I am being called a "child". I don't know the tone since I am just reading it, but it really bothers me. I am a grown woman, I have a child of my own, have been out of my parents house since 2006 and I just got stuck in a very ****ty situation which gave me no option BUT to move into my parents house. Calling me a child because my parents cook (wtf?) is kinda not a nice thing to say....just thought I would throw that out there...I do NOT enjoy cooking. I never have. Some people like it, some don't. But just because my dad mostly cooks, doesn't mean I don't occasionally, despite me hating it. But even then my dad will sometimes go behind me and "fix" things.

I don't think the person meant you're actually a child, they meant you're sort of living in the *role* of a child as you live in your parents' home... which is very common for adult children who move back in with their parents so you're not all that out of the ordinary in that respect... But the way it looks right now is that you're allowing yourself to be somewhat dependent upon them (i.e., to cook and shop and such), which is the role of a dependent. Your role of a dependent is further exacerbated since you're also upset that you can't "control" what they cook and feel you can't lose weight because of it. This puts you in the role of a victim.

If you're genuinely upset about the inability to lose weight, and yet you're really an adult, then you shall have to step outside your comfort zone of "not enjoying cooking" and take control of your own situation. This is what an adult would do. A person in a child's role would continue to blame the parents and say they "just don't like cooking" and that's the end of it. Like you said, you're an adult and even a mother yourself - so you will have to act like one, in this situation, like you do in other areas of your life.

I think you'll find tremendous self-fulfillment, power, and peace in this, even though cooking isn't your favorite. And let's not forget - if you are divorced and will eventually move out of your parents, then you WILL be the primary caregiver in your home and will HAVE to cook for your child. May as well start now, right?

Also, that really offends me that I am being called a "child". I don't know the tone since I am just reading it, but it really bothers me. I am a grown woman, I have a child of my own, have been out of my parents house since 2006 and I just got stuck in a very ****ty situation which gave me no option BUT to move into my parents house. Calling me a child because my parents cook (wtf?) is kinda not a nice thing to say....just thought I would throw that out there...I do NOT enjoy cooking. I never have. Some people like it, some don't. But just because my dad mostly cooks, doesn't mean I don't occasionally, despite me hating it. But even then my dad will sometimes go behind me and "fix" things.

I don't think the person meant you're actually a child, they meant you're sort of living in the *role* of a child as you live in your parents' home... which is very common for adult children who move back in with their parents so you're not all that out of the ordinary in that respect... But the way it looks right now is that you're allowing yourself to be somewhat dependent upon them (i.e., to cook and shop and such), which is the role of a dependent. Your role of a dependent is further exacerbated since you're also upset that you can't "control" what they cook and feel you can't lose weight because of it. This puts you in the role of a victim.

If you're genuinely upset about the inability to lose weight, and yet you're really an adult, then you shall have to step outside your comfort zone of "not enjoying cooking" and take control of your own situation. This is what an adult would do. A person in a child's role would continue to blame the parents and say they "just don't like cooking" and that's the end of it. Like you said, you're an adult and even a mother yourself - so you will have to act like one, in this situation, like you do in other areas of your life.

I think you'll find tremendous self-fulfillment, power, and peace in this, even though cooking isn't your favorite. And let's not forget - if you are divorced and will eventually move out of your parents, then you WILL be the primary caregiver in your home and will HAVE to cook for your child. May as well start now, right?

You posted while I was typing. Jinx. :drinker:

That's great that you've maintained some healthy changes! It's also great that you posted here. You are by no means a failure. You need to stop beating yourself up, which I'm sure you know. I wish I could give more advice on that but it's something I struggle with too (depression here). Perhaps look into cognitive behavioral therapy/techniques to end the negative self-talk, there are plenty of techniques available free on the web (just did a quick cursory google search myself). Talk to yourself kindly like you would another person, be fair to yourself. Call that negative voice on its bull**** when it starts talking to you.

I agree with other advice to just begin with logging everything, most of my healthy changes came from this act alone. This is probably the most valuable thing you can do. You cut out drinks other than water/coffee/almond milk, you can approach other changes the same way you managed that. Measure everything to the extent you can.

I don't see why you can't cook your own meals separate from what your parents eat. Making your own meals will require extra effort... but isn't it worth it? It doesn't have to be elaborate either, if time is an issue.

I get that it sucks to live with people who don't care about making the same healthy changes but you can't change them and it's their house. The best & most influential thing you can do is lead by example, but even then they may not be interested. Control what you can: yourself. This isn't about them, it's about you. You can't use what they eat or do as an excuse for the choices you make. Other than cooking your own meals (which is probably the most feasible course of action), can you take over the cooking completely? Or cook with your dad? There are plenty of recipes on sites like skinnytaste.com that anyone could appreciate.

As for the Nutella and other junk, I've found that "out of sight, out of mind" works wonders. Can you convince your family to keep snacks like that out of sight, like in a special cabinet? Otherwise just measure how much of it you eat, gradually cut down-- or you may find it easier to abstain from it all together than to limit yourself. Personally, I make room in my calories to have something sweet almost every day, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. For best most long lasting results (imo), the food you eat to lose weight shouldn't be that radically different from what you'd normally enjoy.

You are stuck in a ****ty cycle... you need to break it and start a new cycle. Take some control. You are not powerless. I find that making one positive change leads to more and more... start a new cycle.

What a sad situation for you. You've had a rough time lately, try not to pile on your stresses with beating yourself up about your weight so much. There have been some great suggestions here - taking on a bigger role with food prep sounds really smart as you can more accurately log what you're eating.

Please don't think you're a failure, even if the weight loss takes some time. Is that your son on your ticker? If so, he's absolutely gorgeous. You can't possibly be a failure when you've managed to raise a happy and healthy little boy, and you can be successful in your other ventures too - you've lost weight before and you'll do it again! You've had some hurdles but you're doing a good job

You have gotten some great advice here so I thought I would add some websites where you can look for delish and healthy recipes. I know when I started cooking healthier it was pretty overwhelming since there are so many recipe sites and so many cook books and so much info out there.

Here are some of my go to sites for recipes...

www.skinnytaste.com
www.coookinglight.com
www.skinnykitchen.com
www.eatingwell.com

Let me be the first to congratulate you and positively reinforce this behavior!

What a sad situation for you. You've had a rough time lately, try not to pile on your stresses with beating yourself up about your weight so much. There have been some great suggestions here - taking on a bigger role with food prep sounds really smart as you can more accurately log what you're eating.

Please don't think you're a failure, even if the weight loss takes some time. Is that your son on your ticker? If so, he's absolutely gorgeous. You can't possibly be a failure when you've managed to raise a happy and healthy little boy, and you can be successful in your other ventures too - you've lost weight before and you'll do it again! You've had some hurdles but you're doing a good job

Thank you. Yes, that is my son and thanks. I am thankful he is not a picky eater and will eat just about anything and he loves him some fruit too.

Thank you all, seriously. I think I may have gotten the small push I needed. I successfully logged everything for yesterday.