Failing :(

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  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
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    I get what you're saying, but really what was meant was that you are in the child role. Your parents need to step out of the parent role and let you manage your own affairs. They can support you during this time of difficulty by sharing their resources with you, but to allow you to develop into your best self (which is one of their jobs as parents, right?!), they need to step back and let you stand or fall on your own.

    I hate cooking too. But I either do it or my husband will or we will pay someone else for food. Regardless of the method we choose, we ourselves are taking the responsibility for meeting the need. You can choose to meet your need by eating what your father cooks, or you can choose to do it some other way (cooking for yourself, buying a ready-made meal, etc.). All of the choices have their own consequences, but when you are in the adult role, you own the consequences, so you own the responsibility AND the authority. :smile:

    That makes sense. It is hard to take the context of what is written and understand the tone and I easily can get upset over things. (I am working on it...) I was trying to take it with a grain of salt, but it just bothered me.

    I do understand what is being said and I do understand I will have to cook once my son and I get our own place. I guess I dread it so much because I have no clue/interest in cooking. That is not to say I don't know how, because I do. But anywho, I do decent through-out the day when it is just my son and I home. But when it comes to dinner, that is when my dad (or mom) cook and I guess being Southern, I feel it is rude to not eat what is fixed for the family. But I guess, I may need to start taking the reins at least a few nights a week and trying to find healthier foods to fix for the family. May start off with like 1 day a week though...haha
  • acb2144
    acb2144 Posts: 34
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    bump
  • cj731
    cj731 Posts: 32 Member
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    What a sad situation for you. You've had a rough time lately, try not to pile on your stresses with beating yourself up about your weight so much. There have been some great suggestions here - taking on a bigger role with food prep sounds really smart as you can more accurately log what you're eating.

    Please don't think you're a failure, even if the weight loss takes some time. Is that your son on your ticker? If so, he's absolutely gorgeous. You can't possibly be a failure when you've managed to raise a happy and healthy little boy, and you can be successful in your other ventures too - you've lost weight before and you'll do it again! You've had some hurdles but you're doing a good job :)
  • bnybanker
    bnybanker Posts: 33 Member
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    In the words of the most stubborn man who walked the face of the earth, Winston Churchill, "Never give up, never!" Every morning, when you wake up, tell yourselve 3X- "I have to live right, for myself and my child." Motivate yourself every single day! You recognize that you make excuses and give in- it's not easy but it is all mental- SELF TALK- win small victories- keep hiding the Nutella until your mom gives up!!! You are a winner- o start winning! Keep a food log AND record your VICTORIES, not just your lapses. You are important, you are strong- assert yourself!
  • nomad1000
    nomad1000 Posts: 206 Member
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    You have gotten some great advice here so I thought I would add some websites where you can look for delish and healthy recipes. I know when I started cooking healthier it was pretty overwhelming since there are so many recipe sites and so many cook books and so much info out there.

    Here are some of my go to sites for recipes...

    www.skinnytaste.com
    www.coookinglight.com
    www.skinnykitchen.com
    www.eatingwell.com
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
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    What a sad situation for you. You've had a rough time lately, try not to pile on your stresses with beating yourself up about your weight so much. There have been some great suggestions here - taking on a bigger role with food prep sounds really smart as you can more accurately log what you're eating.

    Please don't think you're a failure, even if the weight loss takes some time. Is that your son on your ticker? If so, he's absolutely gorgeous. You can't possibly be a failure when you've managed to raise a happy and healthy little boy, and you can be successful in your other ventures too - you've lost weight before and you'll do it again! You've had some hurdles but you're doing a good job :)

    Thank you. Yes, that is my son and thanks. :) I am thankful he is not a picky eater and will eat just about anything and he loves him some fruit too.

    Thank you all, seriously. I think I may have gotten the small push I needed. I successfully logged everything for yesterday. :)
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    Let me be the first to congratulate you and positively reinforce this behavior!
    What a sad situation for you. You've had a rough time lately, try not to pile on your stresses with beating yourself up about your weight so much. There have been some great suggestions here - taking on a bigger role with food prep sounds really smart as you can more accurately log what you're eating.

    Please don't think you're a failure, even if the weight loss takes some time. Is that your son on your ticker? If so, he's absolutely gorgeous. You can't possibly be a failure when you've managed to raise a happy and healthy little boy, and you can be successful in your other ventures too - you've lost weight before and you'll do it again! You've had some hurdles but you're doing a good job :)

    Thank you. Yes, that is my son and thanks. :) I am thankful he is not a picky eater and will eat just about anything and he loves him some fruit too.

    Thank you all, seriously. I think I may have gotten the small push I needed. I successfully logged everything for yesterday. :)
  • cj731
    cj731 Posts: 32 Member
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    No problem at all :) and congratulations on the logging! You can do this x

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