"You must STOP losing weight"

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  • jeffininer
    jeffininer Posts: 204 Member
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    I've had it too.

    This one co-worker likes to tell me her opinions ALL the time.

    I started at 174. When I had lost 10 pounds, people really started to take notice. I told her that I had lost 10 pounds and I had about 20 more pounds to go (my goal is 145). She said (very rudely I might add) You don't need to lose any more weight! You'll be too skinny. I told her that my goal was 145 and it wasn't unreasonable for my 5'6 body. She said, oh, I'm 5'6. I said how much do you weigh? She said 148. I said ok, I'm about 160 right now. Is 145 so unreasonable?! She shut up pretty quick after that.

    She's also the one that makes fun of me when I post of facebook about my weight loss or exercise. I've stopped talking about it so much because I just don't want to hear it from anyone any more :/

    I'm sorry you are having to deal with similar issues. It sucks when you want to be proud of your accomplishments and everyone tries to bring that great feeling down.
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
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    I've been starting to get these kinds of comments from coworkers and my mom even though I'm not even in the healthy bmi range yet. I just try to ignore them. I've discussed my goals with the trainers at the gym and they agree that my goals are reasonable. I think a lot of people are just shocked by drastic changes in others or are unfamiliar with what a healthy weight actually is.
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
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    My trick is to give them a redirect. They think you are losing weight for vanity. Tell them you are in training for some event...any thing will do. Fitness competition, your first 5k, 10k, triathlon , marathon, iron man,aquathalon, swimsuit competition, fitness model. I know someone who was getting grief for all the time she spent in the gym and watching her food. They all shut up when she told them she was training to be a fitness model. Southerners love their food but they will sacrifice crazy for sports, so they don't bother anyone in training.
    I have an easy out with my health. I tell them my orthopedic surgeon has given me an exact weight he wants me at to delay hip surgery because I am to young to replace it.
    You have to keep it short and simple.

    For example if they say "Aren't you finished losing weight?!" Respond "Oh, Did you think I was still dieting?... Oh no, I am a triathlete/fitness model/ dancer now!" "I am just in training for the season". They will then tell you about their friend who is a triathlete.
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
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    I'm irritated that I now have to keep my weight loss progress secret from friends, family and colleagues :( ....

    I had one colleague who would keep telling me to stop losing weight when I was 173lbs (down from 187).
    I've now had two different people at work (today alone) ask if I've stopped now n when I've said I've got 10lbs to go (am currently 142lbs (well within BMI healthy range), they've given me a shocked, worried look and told me to stop... I've had two of my fb friends telling me to now stop... I still have fat that I don't like... But now feel stressed by the opionions of others... My boyfriend has confirmed that, although I have lost a tremendous amount of weight, I am in no danger of looking anerexic anything soon (which is what I was worried about) ... I've now switched off the setting on MFP that automatically posts on fb when I lose, and I'm now starting to tell people that I've reached my goal weight...

    Why should I have to hide the fact that I've done so well just because they can't handle the last 10lbs to go >:-( grrrr..... Rant over


    Has anyone else had to deal with this over their journey? and if so, how did you deal with it?

    I feel your frustration on two levels:

    One, because I live a healthy lifestyle (eating right but enjoying some snacks and regular exercise) some folks at work judge me quite a bit. What they don't see is that I'm 55 and I'm in better shape than those 20 or 30 years younger than me. As one man older than me stated, "I used to see you out there walking all the time and told the guys, 'I'll never do that.' Now after my heart attack I wished I had been more like you."

    Two, I have been a pastor for many years and always had those few talking behind my back and in front as well.

    Here is what I learned and put into practice and suggest you may consider it as well: "What others think of you is none of your business." As Jesus said about the Pharisees, "They are blind guides, leave them alone." You can't control other people's thoughts and it's just a waste of your precious time.
  • FJcntdwn2sknyluv
    FJcntdwn2sknyluv Posts: 651 Member
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    DITTO!!!!...
    I had a friend tell me I looked gaunt and I don't!.. This coming from a woman who's gained 40lbs since i meet her AND has a severely morbidly obese daughter she's not dealing with....
    I've had other friends tell me it too and I just tell them I'm done losing and I'm toning, which is partly true.. I have another 15 or so pounds I want to lose.. but yes I have, had to enter the land of white lies to placate jealousy it sucks but oh well....90% of my friends are obese and I just chalk it up to jealousy/not wanting me to change... but I needed to do this for ME and I"m glad I did!
    Keep on trucking girl and feel free to add me!
  • Nachise
    Nachise Posts: 395 Member
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    When people persist, I will thank them for their concern, and stress that I am working with a nutritionist and an exercise physiologist. If they continue to persist, I will mention (nicely) that they are being rude. If they feel so free to offer their opinions, they should be as open to mine as they expect me to be of theirs.
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member
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    What's wrong with people? .. Why can't they say "Wow you look great" and leave it at that?.

    Seems like you have done a lot of great work and should be proud of what you're doing....

    Plus, from my position as Grump master .. you must be doing something right if you're pissing idiots off - Keep up THAT good work!!
  • skyekeeper
    skyekeeper Posts: 286 Member
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    Yes, I deal with this all the time. Everyone has an opinion and there's always gonna be a negative person or two out there. My responses to those people are now just sweet and simple and nothing specific and I keep on going. I have learned that people are happy for you and proud of you, but there are a lot of the same people that are just as jealous of what you have accomplished. Just keep doing what you are doing for you and forget all the negative Nancy's out there!
  • dammitjanet0161
    dammitjanet0161 Posts: 319 Member
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    They are also seeing you clothed and therefore hiding the bits you don't like. Clothes can be deceptive - people at work told me they thought I'd lost weight when I hadn't, just because I had taken off my usual baggy cardigan and was wearing a more fitted top underneath. Not suggesting you strip off in front of your colleagues to prove a point though ;)

    I do however think this person below has a very good point:
    I would at your point (just from looking at your photos) focus now on some lifting and strength training and see how your body will transform. To say you have 10lbs left to lose may not be the case...you may be very happy at the same weight and more toned with muscle, you may be happy only down 5 more lbs, you may be happier just when your clothes fit just that extra bit better. Do not get too hung up on that 10lbs.
  • Cheeky_and_Geeky
    Cheeky_and_Geeky Posts: 984 Member
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    Yes, I get that all the time from family members. A family member recently posted a joke about a skinny hairless cat needing to eat a cheeseburger on my FB wall & said "hey this is you!" Yeah.... Not funny at all. I'm a comfortable size 5 & plan on staying that way. :)
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    You didn't give your height....

    I am 5 ft 7 and currently weigh 157....goal is 155...I am in a size 5/6 tho...

    For me personally anything below 145 is too slim...but that's me...at 145 I will probably be in a size 3-5...

    At the same time tho if you are sure, and your partner is sure you are not too slim that is what matters...
  • StGerm
    StGerm Posts: 7 Member
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    Do what you need to do, to make you feel good.

    You know what they say about opinions and *kitten*... we all got 'em.
  • Lonestar5775
    Lonestar5775 Posts: 740 Member
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    Expect jealousy and it is an ugly emotion. Your profile pic is amazing, congratulations on the hard work and your stunning accomplishment.
  • Gardengail
    Gardengail Posts: 596 Member
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    When people would ask inappropriate questions of my MIL (age, etc.), she used to smile and say, "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering." I always thought it a gracious way to let them know it was none of their business. She was a neat lady.

    Gail
  • jmv7117
    jmv7117 Posts: 891 Member
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    It's none of their business what you do with your body providing you are not a danger to yourself or others. Unless you tell them, they would not even know you are losing weight or exercising until it starts to show and then there is absolutely no need to say anything. If they ask, simply smile and change the subject. End of. If someone is saying anything about your weight loss on FB, politely tell them it is not up for discussion. If they persist, either block or unfriend them. Take control and carry on with what you are doing without involving others otherwise they will be your Achilles heel.
  • nicolen160
    nicolen160 Posts: 197 Member
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    I keep getting told that I am gonna blow away with the wind..... I am currently 176lbs and my heatly range for my body height is between 145 and 185. I am doing what I want not what everyone else thinks I should do. My goal currently is 160 and I believe that is reasonable considering I am 6 foot tall. Just do what is best for you and I wouldn't hide it, tell them it's your decision not yours.
  • MrsRoeder2013
    MrsRoeder2013 Posts: 10
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    Tell those people to butt out, its your body, your weight, and what you want! Don't hide it from anyone, if they don't like it, then tell them to screw off.
  • hcollins78
    hcollins78 Posts: 1
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    I always find it interesting when people offer their opinions about other's weight loss, such as saying you are going to be too skinny when you reach your goal weight. On the other side of the coin, if you were gaining weight, would those same people make any comments then? I seriously doubt it. If someone is not offering encouragement or support for YOUR goals and YOUR journey, they are not helping and you just have to let it roll.
  • JonnyQwest
    JonnyQwest Posts: 174 Member
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    Here's what you do, instead of keeping it a secret be really obnoxious and flaunt it that much more.....they are just being typical jealous women. Women are horrible to each other, I don't know you how you ladies deal with it but I certainly wouldn't hide it. You work way too hard to let them shut you down....flaunt it that much more and when they tell you to stop losing, tell them you feel way too good to stop now-why the hell would I stop doing something that is helping me feel great and have a good attitude. Go a step further and ask them if they would like some help on their loser mentality. They should stop bugging you after that.
  • dgeorgiadis
    dgeorgiadis Posts: 95 Member
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    Sometimes I really think that personal success just reminds people of their own lack of success. Stay on track and just let it roll off your shoulders.

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