HOW DO I TELL THE HUSBAND TO SHUT UP WITH OUT BEING MEAN!!!!
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How often are you falling off your routine? You say you'll start back at it tomorrow, but do you? That's a big problem for ppl. Then tomorrow never comes. We're only hearing one side of the story also. Another thing confusing is your ticker. It looks like your goal is 15lbs, but from reading your rant it seems like you're looking to lose more. What is your exercise program like, exactly. How much cardio/weight training are you doing? Do you belong to a gym? I looked at your diary, it wasn't awful but eating at Jack in the Box twice in one day doesn't seem productive, then having a burger and fries for dinner. There are much better choices out there. I think everyone here has been where you are. You have to decide for yourself how bad you want this.A good support system at home is def a great tool to have. Did you talk to him and ask him why he said what he said? I wish you much luck.0
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Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).
okay this makes since....do I have to admit I was wrong now!!!! And say I'm sorry? UGH!0 -
It honestly sounds like you're BOTH a little oversensitive on the subject...He probably thinks he is helping and doesn't realize how he comes across, and you're probably too sensitive to what he's saying because you feel guilty. Maybe, for a while, it would be a good thing to not talk to one another about it and let it cool off a bit. Weight loss is a tricky subject.0
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Easy, like I said.. men like things blunt and to the point. If you flew off the handle at him, just say you're sorry for doing it. You aren't all wrong either, you could also point out that him being so blunt hurt your feelings. We women are emotional types, and guys really don't know what to do with us
I hope you jump back on it tomorrow full force, and I hope you keep to your goals and do wonderful!0 -
Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).
okay this makes since....do I have to admit I was wrong now!!!! And say I'm sorry? UGH!
Yeah... Calling him an *kitten* on a public forum is one of those things that could be worthy of an apology.
Just sayin.0 -
i stared in janaury at 196 when i found mfp i was down to 180 now i'm 176 was 173! I dont go to a gym I have a bike at home I ride in the house. I have just had a really bad week or so and feel stuck.0
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Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).
okay this makes since....do I have to admit I was wrong now!!!! And say I'm sorry? UGH!
I think you're a little edgy and sensitive about it because you already know you'd fallen off the wagon, so to speak, and gained a little back. It just made you hyper-sensitive to his comments. Just relax. Tell him you know you need to do better and then work on it. Weight loss isn't easy, simple or without setbacks. Learn from the pitfalls and detours and move on. 0 -
The fact you already have a "I'll do it tomorrow" mentality doesn't really strengthen your argument. Rant mode activation doesn't make me want to sympathize regardless of whether I think your husband is a D or not. Needing reassurance from others is a cry for attention when you should be solving the issue yourself.
If your husband went on a forum and talked about you, I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy. Too many beta personalities these days..0 -
Never talk to people in real life about weight issues, keep it strictly to strangers!
We understand!
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Good answer! Ladies too often confuse brutal honesty for meanness. If you'd like to hear lies then ask your girlfriends how you look but if you want the truth then ask a kid.0
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You don't. That won't solve anything. What will help is if you let most of what he said roll off your back like water on a duck. The other part, well, look through it and see if you can pick out anything that he might have a point about and work on it. It may have come off rude/hateful, but in my 18 years of marriage experience, I can honestly say most of the time when the hubbs has acted like this it wasn't out of malice. Like I read in a previous post, men like to fix things. He sounds like he is feeling a little helpless in your current situation and would like nothing more than to make it better, just doesn't know how. I have learned there is always a little hurt in the truth and it is a hard fact to deal with. If he really hurt your feelings, please let him know gently, but also acknowledge the fact that he is a great guy and very supportive and you really appreciate it when he tries to take care of you. Hope this helps Have a great week! 0
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I know that we were not there and since it's hard to convey tone when you're typing it's impossible for us to have heard how he was saying these things to you... he could have meant no harm, or he could have been being very nasty. My husband can sometimes act like a total jerk and say things that reduce me to tears, though if I typed a simple transcript here it would be harder to see what I mean. (Likewise we can have a perfectly normal conversation but if I typed them out, people would be like wtf??) :huh:
It would be all too easy to give up out of spite. Don't let one bad week and one argument derail you. You have been succeeding, there is no reason you can't get right back up at your very next meal.
That said, don't give him the opportunity to hurt you again. Just quietly go back to taking care of yourself, logging, exercising, surfing these boards (they help me tremendously as well) and if he brings up the subject, remind him nicely that he said he was through talking about your weight, and change the subject. You can't change him, but you can change how you react to things he says and does. An important lesson I have learned is how NOT to engage people and how to NOT promote their drama.
And on the days where you decide to relax and eat a damn burger, because this is real life and real life does have the occasional burger in it, and he makes a remark, tell him that if he can't be positive, and can't believe in you, and is instead going to comment on every bite you put in your mouth, then he is not allowed to mention, or even have an opinion, about your food or your weight. I speak from experience on that one.
You need to be doing this for YOU. Only you. Not for him or anyone else.0 -
Speaking from the husband's perspective, you should either lose weight or not for yourself. Each person in the marriage should take care of themselves first, spouse/family second.0
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Thank you for all your help! Sometimes I just get upset with myself and when he joins in I take it the wrong way! I feel like alot of you have good points. I have been really up set with myself over me falling off the wagon. I could be just taking it out on him. Thanks again!0
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I rarely talk to my husband about my weight loss. It's my journey. My problem. My issue to deal with. I don't do it for him or anyone else but me.
Plus, I don't think my husband would even know how to make a burger and fries.0 -
My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.0
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My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
People just don't get you, amirite?0 -
My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
Mmk.
I'm gonna' start a list. Tell me if I miss anyone.
People who are unsupportive
1. People on the forums
2. Men0 -
My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
You get what you give, lady.
Good luck on your gurney.0 -
My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
Mmk.
I'm gonna' start a list. Tell me if I miss anyone.
People who are unsupportive
1. People on the forums
2. Men
People on her FL0 -
My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
Mmk.
I'm gonna' start a list. Tell me if I miss anyone.
People who are unsupportive
1. People on the forums
2. Men
People on her FL
I was about to add
3. *kitten*
Would that cover it? Or should I add both to cover all the bases?0 -
I am a men and I am helpful and supportive.My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.0 -
Tell him that women with a little extra weight usually live longer than the man who mentions it!0
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I took the matter personally into my heart when my man said that to me back in Jan 2014. Insensitive man, thats why I have neutral feelings to him!
Cannot he see it with his own eyes, I am trying my best to shed pounds off my body to be healthy and fit? I am busting my *kitten* to do cardio and strength training (weight lifting). ALL the sweats and muscle pains AREN'T for him but myself.
He is just jealous when men checking out on me, in front of him. Some even commented how great I look now
I want to be attractive and wear sexy clothes. I am totally fed up with myself being obese since young. I am even more annoyed that he is unable to adapt the changes in me. Green-eyed man!0 -
LMAO!!!Tell him that women with a little extra weight usually live longer than the man who mentions it!0 -
My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
Mmk.
I'm gonna' start a list. Tell me if I miss anyone.
People who are unsupportive
1. People on the forums
2. Men
Hey, that's me twice. Cool, I can be two times unsupportive.0 -
I am a men and I am helpful and supportive.My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
You don't count, you went through a cut cycle and in it wanted to lose weight, so now you understand. Silly.
I have a men upstairs who has never tried to lose weight and therefore is apparently neither helpful nor supportive as a result. He must have been faking being all supportive and stuff for the past 2 years. I think he and I are going to have to have a little chat
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I am a men and I am helpful and supportive.My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
You don't count, you went through a cut cycle and in it wanted to lose weight, so now you understand. Silly.
I have a men upstairs who has never tried to lose weight and therefore is apparently neither helpful nor supportive as a result. He must have been faking being all supportive and stuff for the past 2 years. I think he and I are going to have to have a little chat
If he tries to play innocent and all "what did I do?" show him my list. Solid proof, right there.0 -
I am a men and I am helpful and supportive.My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
You don't count, you went through a cut cycle and in it wanted to lose weight, so now you understand. Silly.
I have a men upstairs who has never tried to lose weight and therefore is apparently neither helpful nor supportive as a result. He must have been faking being all supportive and stuff for the past 2 years. I think he and I are going to have to have a little chat
If he tries to play innocent and all "what did I do?" show him my list. Solid proof, right there.
I think he knows I'm onto him: I found a Cadbury egg on my nightstand. He's trying to deflect my attention. IT WON'T WORK!
Well, maybe it will. Nomnomnomnom.0 -
I am a men and I am helpful and supportive.My best advice to you is to stay off the forums. People in here are awful. While you may be venting or seeking for others with partners who don't understand the trials and tribulations of weight loss to empathize with. You won't be finding it on the forums. People who troll the forums aren't supportive or helpful. Neither are men for that matter. Good luck with you're husband, he'll never understand until he wants to lose weight. Stay off the forum, it'll just make you mad.
You don't count, you went through a cut cycle and in it wanted to lose weight, so now you understand. Silly.
I have a men upstairs who has never tried to lose weight and therefore is apparently neither helpful nor supportive as a result. He must have been faking being all supportive and stuff for the past 2 years. I think he and I are going to have to have a little chat
If he tries to play innocent and all "what did I do?" show him my list. Solid proof, right there.
I think he knows I'm onto him: I found a Cadbury egg on my nightstand. He's trying to deflect my attention. IT WON'T WORK!
Well, maybe it will. Nomnomnomnom.
LOL..I cannot resist chocolate too ;-)0
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