Well, I'll just get big bulky man muscles then!
Replies
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Interesting...are you sabotaging yourself with a specific bad food (potato chips, sweets, or some other impossible to resist item)? Or, like a smoker, do you find that are in the habit of having something at a certain time/place?0
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The problem is that I can't eat at 20% below (or anything below) for even 1 day, much less 4 weeks. sigh. I expect to hear someone say, "man up and just stop stuffing your face so much" and I deserve that, but every good day that I have, I either ruin it at night or the very next day or two. I'm happy with the muscles I've built (I can see them a little bit, under the fat), because I used to have twig arms and I love my biceps, etc nowadays. I just want to melt some of the fat away. It sounds like this might be one of those cases where it's advisable that I become a cardio queen, to spend lots of time burnburnburning all the calories I eat
as long as I continue with my weight training for keeping my muscles. Sound right?
A few quick thoughts on what might help:
In the Gym:
1) don't think LONG cardio sessions, think Intervals. HIIT training. This ramps up your metabolism for hours.
2) for weights - use the same thought process. Think circuit training, or super-sets. Minimize or eliminate rest time (you can rest AFTER your workout)
Eating:
1) Plan your attack - break your days into meals (4-6) + snacks. Divide your target calories across those meals.
2) Hit the grocery store to get everything you need for those meals for the week
3) Prepare tomorrow's meals today. Then everything is set, and you just eat the right meal at the right time.
It's work, yes, but if it makes achieving your goals easier, then it's the RIGHT kind of work.
Right now, my main antagonist is late night eating. If I need to work late, it's VERY hard not to eat late too. I try to hit-it and quit-it, get the essential work done, and drink soda water if I'm hungry. Then I go to bed. It's harder for me to eat when I'm sleeping.
Encountering challenges is what this is all about. Facing the challenges and finding a way around them is what brings success!!!
Thank you.
Re: the gym. I don't do cardio at the gym. I rather like cardio. I LOVE running and I LOVE walking. (I also love cycling and swimming, but don't have the set-up for those at the moment.) As for circuits, I go to a VERY busy gym. I've seen a few times guys trying to do that and they always seem to fall into a fit of bitterness and frustration because it's so hard to work around all the other people.
Meal planning is a much more difficult proposition for me. I've flirted with the idea for years now, but for various reasons that i won't go into, it doesn't fit well with my family. But anyway, my ACTUAL meals are usually pretty well balanced.0 -
Interesting...are you sabotaging yourself with a specific bad food (potato chips, sweets, or some other impossible to resist item)? Or, like a smoker, do you find that are in the habit of having something at a certain time/place?
It changes. For awhile it was a Greek yogurt addiction. So I switched to 2% solely to be able to eat more of it, but I'd still end up having a few pieces of toast afterwards. Sometimes it's my kids fonzies (cheetos). Normally, I do ruin a perfectly good eating day at night after the kids go to bed, so that might be a "time/place", but it's not always that way. Sometimes I blew it long before nightfall. :frown:0 -
So is it that you've done well all day & after the kids are in bed you need to give yourself a treat?0
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Well, since your diary isn't public I can't do this myself but my advice is:All I can say is, exercise keeps my mind off food. I am lucky because I have to bring food into work, so can't eat there, I don't have anything really exciting to eat at home, I'm constantly busy and don't have much eating time going on.
I still find it extremely difficult to not overeat.
Good point. I'm a SAHM and have apportioned my workout time to one time per day in the afternoon (the only 2hrs per day that I am childless). Because I have a family, there will always be food at home (all food is exciting to me, lol), but maybe if I tried a squat challenge or some nonsense like that, that would have me squatting or doing situps in my "spare time" at home. I agree, exercise is good for keeping my mind off of food. My main problem is night, after the kids go to bed, when I "decompress" and end up polishing off the salad from dinner and a big bowl of yogurt and maybe some toast with a little jam, etc etc. Maybe if I did some situps or something, I might eat half that much.
1)Look at every day in your diary for a month where you're over goal on calories. See if there are any "common" food showing up late at night (i.e. trigger foods) that you have problems controlling yourself with.
2)Then make it a goal to either: get those out of the house, replace with a less calorie-expensive version (lower-fat, reduced sugar, baked vs. fried, etc.)
3)OR You could engineer your days in reverse by planning your night-time snacking FIRST...then making sure the rest of the day allows for that expenditure.
4)I would also continue to do any lifting you are currently doing as maintaining your lean muscle will mean your body uses more fuel just "existing" and will make it harder for you to over-consume.0 -
PERSONALLY I find that I want to continue eating once I've started,
Exactly! But for me it's on a much larger scale than just a meal. It's the reason that I can easily diet on 400cal/day (and did, in the past), but if I allow myself 1700, I find myself actually eating 2400. It's a slippery slope.
Have you tried some of the intermittent fasting protocols? Seems I remember one of them being a day at just a couple hundred cals, then a day well above TDEE for an average mild net loss. I wonder if that kind of plan would suit your natural tendencies. Sometimes it's best to work with your psyche rather than against it.0 -
If you are eating as a treat, or reward, you might consider doing something else instead. I a massage a possibility? Maybe a relaxing bubble bath, or trying on new (smaller) clothes that you know you'll be wearing soon? After all, you are pretty close to your goal. You can do this!0
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Sorry I didn't read through all the responses so maybe someone brought this up.
You say you have a problem not being able to eat at a deficit and at x amount of calories or x % below deficit. Have you tried slowly working down to that? It sounds like your major problem is the eating part which is totally mental, but if say you started at say a 5% deficit for 4 weeks and then went down to 7% or 10% or whatever until you got to where you needed to be. Maybe that will take a mental strain off of you since it is slowly working down instead of jumping in and out all the time.
The other thing that you can do is not buy those bad foods. I personally don't keep crap at my house because I know that if I am bored I will probably eat it. if its not there you can't eat it. Instead I keep good foods there and end up snacking on those. Just two ideas for ya. Good luck!0 -
If you are eating as a treat, or reward,
Possibly that is the case. I'm fairly active for half the day and I eat for hunger & to fuel workouts, but I rarely *enjoy* my food, even dinner, because I have kids right in my face all while I'm eating (they literally ONLY want to eat MY food). So at night, I get to EAT IN PEACE.
It's a good point and maybe I need to re-allocate calories in some way so I can still enjoy my EAT IN PEACE time at night, because I'm certain that a bubblebath, etc is no substitution for really SAVORING and ENJOYING food at least one time per day.
Thanks for the vote of confidence!0 -
I fully support building muscle and running (although difficult to do both at the same time), but I would strongly recommend against designing your own program and using a program like Starting Strength, or New Rules of Lifting for Women, or Stronglifts instead. (There are multitudes, those are just examples) Unless you're very well versed and educated in the realm of weights, you're in danger of missing something within self design. On the other hand, if self experimentation works for you - and if that's what gets you in the gym, then go for it. Either way, good luck!0
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Sorry I didn't read through all the responses so maybe someone brought this up.
You say you have a problem not being able to eat at a deficit and at x amount of calories or x % below deficit. Have you tried slowly working down to that? It sounds like your major problem is the eating part which is totally mental, but if say you started at say a 5% deficit for 4 weeks and then went down to 7% or 10% or whatever until you got to where you needed to be. Maybe that will take a mental strain off of you since it is slowly working down instead of jumping in and out all the time.
The other thing that you can do is not buy those bad foods. I personally don't keep crap at my house because I know that if I am bored I will probably eat it. if its not there you can't eat it. Instead I keep good foods there and end up snacking on those. Just two ideas for ya. Good luck!
Thanks. I might need to consider the gradual step down. It seems doomed, since my cals are all over the place (1600 one day, 3000 the next, then 4 days of ~2400, etc etc).
As for not having bad foods: I hear ya! I have always been someone who diets at the supermarket, not at home. IOW, I prefer to not even buy that stuff! My husband on the other hand....ugh! He was out of town earlier this month for 10 days and I actually did pretty good for those days. The fridge was stocked with good stuff and I met my target for most of those days. But of course I also wasn't working out those days (no babysitter), so not really sure which was the cause.0 -
Sorry I didn't read through all the responses so maybe someone brought this up.
You say you have a problem not being able to eat at a deficit and at x amount of calories or x % below deficit. Have you tried slowly working down to that? It sounds like your major problem is the eating part which is totally mental, but if say you started at say a 5% deficit for 4 weeks and then went down to 7% or 10% or whatever until you got to where you needed to be. Maybe that will take a mental strain off of you since it is slowly working down instead of jumping in and out all the time.
The other thing that you can do is not buy those bad foods. I personally don't keep crap at my house because I know that if I am bored I will probably eat it. if its not there you can't eat it. Instead I keep good foods there and end up snacking on those. Just two ideas for ya. Good luck!
Thanks. I might need to consider the gradual step down. It seems doomed, since my cals are all over the place (1600 one day, 3000 the next, then 4 days of ~2400, etc etc).
As for not having bad foods: I hear ya! I have always been someone who diets at the supermarket, not at home. IOW, I prefer to not even buy that stuff! My husband on the other hand....ugh! He was out of town earlier this month for 10 days and I actually did pretty good for those days. The fridge was stocked with good stuff and I met my target for most of those days. But of course I also wasn't working out those days (no babysitter), so not really sure which was the cause.
Have you discussed this with him as far as it gets in the way of your physical goals?0 -
PERSONALLY I find that I want to continue eating once I've started,
Exactly! But for me it's on a much larger scale than just a meal. It's the reason that I can easily diet on 400cal/day (and did, in the past), but if I allow myself 1700, I find myself actually eating 2400. It's a slippery slope.
Have you tried some of the intermittent fasting protocols? Seems I remember one of them being a day at just a couple hundred cals, then a day well above TDEE for an average mild net loss. I wonder if that kind of plan would suit your natural tendencies. Sometimes it's best to work with your psyche rather than against it.
I haven't, but maybe I should. I do try to workout about 6days/week and am fairly active otherwise (live in a city with no car, so lots of walking and also lots of tot-carrying of my lazy but heavy daughter). I might be able to do something like that on my rest days, but even those days I'm busy running kids around and shopping, it'd be tough. When i used to diet the bad way (eating VLCD), I barely got out of bed. My life has changed so much since then. It'd be tough.0 -
If you are already over weight- bulking is just going to make you bigger.
I'm not really sure why you would want to get much bigger if you feel you are already over weight (to an unsatisfactory level) I don't see the advantage or upside really- I mean I bulked when I was a little meaty- but I think it was for performance goals not just size gains so I was willing to take the hit.
A few thoughts
1.) bulking to put on weight is as hard if not harder than cutting/losing.
2.) self discipline can be developed- and it takes time to do so.
3.) creating positive habits and keeping yourself occupied helps keeping the snacking down to a minimum.
4.) when I have large blocks of time- once I start eating I can't stop- I put off eating and drink coffee/water and keep myself busy mentally to not think about it- I can regularly at this point be up at 8 and not eat till 2- once I "break the food seal" it's over- I get hungry and can't stop eating.
5.) losing and gaining is a time consuming process- but not endless- set some time frames and goals- will help give you structure (not I want to lose 10 lbs by may- more like I want to work on eating a calorie deficit and running more- things you can 100% control)
6.) weight loss and gain is not linear
7.) try getting on an actual lifting program like Starting Strength, Strong Lifts, New Rules of Lifting.
You can do it- but you have to set some sort of frame work for yourself to succeed- don't just set arbitrary random endless goals. Be able to control them- people set the "lose weight" goal and there is only so much you can do- you have to give it time- but you can "move more and eat less" and have those be actual quantifiable things that you can 100% control.0 -
Sorry I didn't read through all the responses so maybe someone brought this up.
You say you have a problem not being able to eat at a deficit and at x amount of calories or x % below deficit. Have you tried slowly working down to that? It sounds like your major problem is the eating part which is totally mental, but if say you started at say a 5% deficit for 4 weeks and then went down to 7% or 10% or whatever until you got to where you needed to be. Maybe that will take a mental strain off of you since it is slowly working down instead of jumping in and out all the time.
The other thing that you can do is not buy those bad foods. I personally don't keep crap at my house because I know that if I am bored I will probably eat it. if its not there you can't eat it. Instead I keep good foods there and end up snacking on those. Just two ideas for ya. Good luck!
Thanks. I might need to consider the gradual step down. It seems doomed, since my cals are all over the place (1600 one day, 3000 the next, then 4 days of ~2400, etc etc).
As for not having bad foods: I hear ya! I have always been someone who diets at the supermarket, not at home. IOW, I prefer to not even buy that stuff! My husband on the other hand....ugh! He was out of town earlier this month for 10 days and I actually did pretty good for those days. The fridge was stocked with good stuff and I met my target for most of those days. But of course I also wasn't working out those days (no babysitter), so not really sure which was the cause.
Have you discussed this with him as far as it gets in the way of your physical goals?
Yes. I've begged him to not buy sodas, to keep his huge chocolate bars in his briefcase, etc. He thinks I should have will power. I think he should not buy 6 large chocolate bars and then leave them in the cabinet for a week without even touching them. grrrr. To his credit, since he got back from his trip this month, he's been buying salad stuff, vegetables, fish, chicken, and turkey breast. He's trying to trim up for Summer too. (btw, he does most of the shopping, usu b/c he has the cash)0 -
If you are already over weight- bulking is just going to make you bigger.
***I'm not really trying to bulk. I'm just looking for some silver lining to the fact that I'm already hopelessly overeating--trying to work it to my advantage somehow.
I'm not really sure why you would want to get much bigger if you feel you are already over weight (to an unsatisfactory level) I don't see the advantage or upside really- I mean I bulked when I was a little meaty- but I think it was for performance goals not just size gains so I was willing to take the hit.
***See above about not bulking. However, re: performance goals, i do eat to fuel workouts and will not reduce my pre-workout intake because I really do need the fuel. Without it, I'm a mess.
4.) when I have large blocks of time- once I start eating I can't stop- I put off eating and drink coffee/water and keep myself busy mentally to not think about it- I can regularly at this point be up at 8 and not eat till 2- once I "break the food seal" it's over- I get hungry and can't stop eating.
***yes, I already drink quite a bit of very watered-down coffee in the morning. But, I have to eat one good meal by 1pm b/c I leave home and am on the run with school pick-up, tutor drop-off and then straight to the gym or running and don't get home til ~5:30. So i usually eat once by 1pm and then not again until about 6:00 (although sometimes it's just a protein shake and something fairly light). The food seal is broken with our dinner around 9:30pm (after my son's martial arts class) and that's when it goes badly.
5.) losing and gaining is a time consuming process- but not endless- set some time frames and goals- will help give you structure (not I want to lose 10 lbs by may- more like I want to work on eating a calorie deficit and running more- things you can 100% control)
***good points
6.) weight loss and gain is not linear
***understood
7.) try getting on an actual lifting program like Starting Strength, Strong Lifts, New Rules of Lifting.
***I'm feeling pretty good about my workouts actually. I put alot of time into planning them and take into consideration my stupid packed gym, what equipment is available, what time I have, etc. I'm definitely not just messing around and have made good gains. I do wish I had a smartphone to track my workouts though b/c it's very hard to remember where I am (weight) on everything--might have to be a Mothers day pressie to myself.
You can do it- but you have to set some sort of frame work for yourself to succeed- don't just set arbitrary random endless goals. Be able to control them- people set the "lose weight" goal and there is only so much you can do- you have to give it time- but you can "move more and eat less" and have those be actual quantifiable things that you can 100% control.
***Understood, but most everything at this point has been a true lifestyle change for me. In that regard, I am VERY PLEASED, because I have been maintaining and I am so much faster, fitter, stronger, etc than perhaps I have ever been. :happy:0 -
Also, I'm 5'9", 155lbs and diet at 2000 calories a day plus I eat exercise calories.
Bravo you!! You are at the weight I expect to be my goal weight (won't know til I get there) and get to eat loads. Yay!
I am estimating (just looking over my graph) that I am eating on avg about 2400. My goal is 1670+exercise cals, which would normally be around 2000 total maybe, except on long run day. But that avg is like 2800 here, 1900 there, 3000 here, 1700 there, and then ~2400 for several days in a row, etc.0 -
oh youre very very lucky...came in looking for lots of derp but leaving unsatisfied
props to you, though :flowerforyou:
don't worry, you'll find derp--it's out there. it's ALWAYS out there.
have fun.0 -
composition book- for tracking progress I have several variations of workout journals (filled)
- pen and paper are much more reliable and less likely to get stolen.
I love mine dearly.0 -
composition book- for tracking progress I have several variations of workout journals (filled)
- pen and paper are much more reliable and less likely to get stolen.
I love mine dearly.
Yeah, I started to get a calendar or notebook, but I've been coveting a smartphone so much and waiting that I might get one (long sigh)....alas, you're right. That's something I can do immediately, and will. Thanks.0 -
What if you tried for a really small deficit? You're already eating at maintenance, is there a way you could just go for maybe a 100 calorie deficit? Then keep doing weight training and slowly slowly lose the fat.0
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Thanks everyone.
I've gotten lots of great ideas and am starting a "to do" list, which I'll post later. But keep 'em coming. I really appreciate the help.0 -
If you are eating as a treat, or reward,
Possibly that is the case. I'm fairly active for half the day and I eat for hunger & to fuel workouts, but I rarely *enjoy* my food, even dinner, because I have kids right in my face all while I'm eating (they literally ONLY want to eat MY food). So at night, I get to EAT IN PEACE.
Maybe eat a snack while the kids eat dinner, then sit down to YOUR dinner after they are in bed? That way, you are full, they are in bed, and you can minimize your snacking during their dinner...because they won't let you snack that much. lol0 -
If you are eating as a treat, or reward,
Possibly that is the case. I'm fairly active for half the day and I eat for hunger & to fuel workouts, but I rarely *enjoy* my food, even dinner, because I have kids right in my face all while I'm eating (they literally ONLY want to eat MY food). So at night, I get to EAT IN PEACE.
Maybe eat a snack while the kids eat dinner, then sit down to YOUR dinner after they are in bed? That way, you are full, they are in bed, and you can minimize your snacking during their dinner...because they won't let you snack that much. lol
Ohmygerd, that's genius! And I'll bet it seemed obvious to you, right?! Seriously, genius! How did I NOT see that?!?!
Thank you.
(I kinda feel stupid now for not having thought of that. doh)0 -
What if you tried for a really small deficit? You're already eating at maintenance, is there a way you could just go for maybe a 100 calorie deficit? Then keep doing weight training and slowly slowly lose the fat.
I agree with this. Try a much smaller deficit. Do 100 calories starting out if you can't do any more than that. Your habits will improve over time. It just takes a while sometimes
If you are able to do 100 calories for a few weeks, try lowering it a bit more. This slows things down, but you'll still be making progress. And in the process, you'll be learning healthier habits 0 -
well for me I am going to the gym and doing mostly cardio at the moment and have been losing 1lb per week on average for 2 months...i use the treadmill...walking fast for like say 3 min and then jog for 1.5-2 mins this keeps your heart rate raised a little continuously and the jogging pushes it up a little higher in short bursts as constant higher heart rate doesn't help burn the fat, so I am told at my gym...it seems to work as I am both nuilding muscle AND losing weight at a steady pace...hope this helps...feel free to add me if you like 0
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What if you tried for a really small deficit? You're already eating at maintenance, is there a way you could just go for maybe a 100 calorie deficit? Then keep doing weight training and slowly slowly lose the fat.
I agree with this. Try a much smaller deficit. Do 100 calories starting out if you can't do any more than that. Your habits will improve over time. It just takes a while sometimes If you are able to do 100 calories for a few weeks, try lowering it a bit more. This slows things down, but you'll still be making progress. And in the process, you'll be learning healthier habits
Again, this comes down to the fact that my eating has been ALL over the place, like 3000 here, 1700 there, 2400 here, 2000 there. I mean, I guess I'm saying that it's good advice and I'd do it if I could--but mentally or logistically or something isn't working.0 -
Here's the "to do" list that I've come up with so far, from the discussion here. Again, thank you ALL!
To do:
(1) get a workout calendar/journal for tracking weights: immediately!
(2) before trying any kind of eating change (IF, deficit stepdown, etc), simply log into the notes of my food journal what my daily calorie intake was BEFORE my kids went to bed. Reasons twofold: (a) to better see what's really going on before I make a major change to my eating habits (which are apparently excellent for maintaining, yay!) and (b) maybe seeing it in black & white will provide me with incentive to not totally blow it, thus helping with the mental aspect: start noting immediately! look back and assess after 1 month
(3) okay, still do #2, but also--eat a lighter version of dinner or snack (healthy but low volume & low calorie, and esp nothing that I wouldn't want my kids to have, since they'll probably steal it anyway, lol!) at dinnertime and then eat MY dinner after they're in bed! (brilliant!)
(4) go forward with my 3mo plan to walk more 3x/wk. Walking is fat-burning. I enjoy it. It gives me more wiggle-room with calories on those days. Starts in May.
(5) continue with very challenging and progressive weight training (obvs! but wanted to mention it so nobody else would need to)0 -
The problem is that I can't eat at 20% below (or anything below) for even 1 day, much less 4 weeks. sigh. I expect to hear someone say, "man up and just stop stuffing your face so much" and I deserve that, but every good day that I have, I either ruin it at night or the very next day or two. I'm happy with the muscles I've built (I can see them a little bit, under the fat), because I used to have twig arms and I love my biceps, etc nowadays. I just want to melt some of the fat away. It sounds like this might be one of those cases where it's advisable that I become a cardio queen, to spend lots of time burnburnburning all the calories I eat
as long as I continue with my weight training for keeping my muscles. Sound right?
have a 10% deficit and plan your meals to make compliance as easy as possible. As long as you insure your protein intake is high and you're continuing with the strength training then you'll keep your muscles while the fat melts off. Note that it'll be slow fat burning with only a 10% deficit, but if compliance is a bigger issue then you need to take that into account. Think tortoise and hare.... slow and steady but just keep on going you'll get there in the end.
don't become a cardio queen, it's not necessary. But you don't need a big deficit to lose fat... just a deficit. Think long term compliance.0 -
p.s.- I knew I'd get good ideas from the well-fed brains of all you bulking peeps.
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