Question for the single ladies of MFP

wheird
wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
Just curious, when dating, how many of you need to ask your potential suitor if they have a job/car/place to live?

Are any of those a deal breaker?
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Replies

  • Sorry Im not single, but with my husband non of those mattered I knew he was a hard worker who was just a little down on finding a job, that was 7 years ago we are married 5 with two beautiful kids and happy to say he has been working in the lab at a hospital for over 5 years now.
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.


    I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.

    Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Sorry Im not single, but with my husband non of those mattered I knew he was a hard worker who was just a little down on finding a job, that was 7 years ago we are married 5 with two beautiful kids and happy to say he has been working in the lab at a hospital for over 5 years now.

    Interesting. Did you know him prior to dating since you were able to know he was a hard worker?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.


    I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.

    Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.

    You are terrible with rules.
  • Nope, but i met him at work, i was a bartender and he was taking over my shift, i also saw him take any jon(Mainly condtruction and painting) until he found something more stable.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    I AM single and in the dating world. I do NOT ask those questions, exactly. We do discuss careers as a natural part of conversation. Never discuss transportation or living arrangements. If it comes up, it comes up, and a couple times it has.

    As far as a deal breaker...

    many people probably won't like my response but you don't know where I've been and/or come from. I refuse to be burnt /screwed over again! So, while I can't say for sure, perhaps if the person didn't have a job, home and vehicle, it just might be a deal breaker. I won't be a sugar momma to anyone anylonger! PERIOD!
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.


    I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.

    Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.

    You are terrible with rules.
    Whatever, you love it.
    kitty-2.gif
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Just curious, when dating, how many of you need to ask your potential suitor if they have a job/car/place to live?

    Are any of those a deal breaker?

    is this your way of telling the women on MFP that you don't have a job or car and need a place to stay? :huh:
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
    Single lady here! I don't ask those questions point blank. However, during the early conversation, I do manage to find out what type of work he does and in what general area of the city he lives. I never ask about his car. I always ask if he's married though, because anything other than single *is* an instant deal breaker!
  • LankyYankee
    LankyYankee Posts: 260 Member
    I don't ask specifically, but things like what you do and where you live tend to come up in conversation.

    As to deal breaker. It would depend on the situation, but it's not an automatic GTFO for me, although it might wave a red flag
  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
    I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Just curious, when dating, how many of you need to ask your potential suitor if they have a job/car/place to live?

    Are any of those a deal breaker?

    is this your way of telling the women on MFP that you don't have a job or car and need a place to stay? :huh:

    Putting together a master list of potential sugar mommas.

    A few friends on here are in the dating world and three of them in the last week have mentioned talking to guys with no job or car. I was a little shocked at how common it seems to be.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)

    Why would their credit score matter?
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
    I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.


    I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.

    Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.


    In his defence it is women's work. Do you expect him to learn to cook too?
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    Just curious, when dating, how many of you need to ask your potential suitor if they have a job/car/place to live?

    Are any of those a deal breaker?

    I am not single, but if for some reason my boyfriend and I broke it off, I think I would ask now. We've been together 5 years, and he actually didn't have a job at the time. He lived in his parents house, and his dad had bought him a hooptie to get him to the store and back. 5 years later, he has a job, bought a new car and give me half the rent money, so... yeay? Lolz.

    But, I'm 32 now, and I don't think if I went back in the dating world again, I'd be so romantic about it? IDK if romantic would be the right word. I think now, at 32, it'd be more of a business transaction. You pay half the bills, and do the man-fixing stuff around the house and I'll pay the other half and take care of the pets/kids. Deal? Let's bang.
  • SpicesOfLife
    SpicesOfLife Posts: 290 Member
    honestly, i get turned off a bit when he doesnt have a car (truck preferably actually :P) but no, its not a deal breaker. i try to not be too superficial, but i would LOVE it if he had a cool truck we can go on trips with/he can pick me up with - mostly because i HATE public transport lol.
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.


    I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.

    Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.


    In his defence it is women's work. Do you expect him to learn to cook too?
    Yes, he at least needs to know how to make me a sammich. I mean 19 years with no sammich. How long do I allow this nonsense to continue? I'm gonna starve in my dirty clothes and no sammich in my tummy.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)

    Why would their credit score matter?

    Because she likes a man with money, one she doesn't have to take care of financially. Amiright?
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    I wouldn't immediately turn him away. I live with my parents while I'm finishing college, so it would be a double standard for me not to date someone who was in the same position or down on luck at the moment. However, if after a few months of dating I could clearly see that he was in that position just because he has no drive to succeed in life, I'd be going my separate way.
  • Cudleigh
    Cudleigh Posts: 188 Member
    I'd like to say that I wouldn't care, and it's all about his personality and blah blah blah, but that's a bunch of bull. I dated a guy once with no job/car, he had a place but hated it; wanted to move in with me (after only dating for a couple months, wtf?) Eventually paying for everything got annoying and caused too many fights. If I'm going to date someone, I want to be their girlfriend, not their mother.

    That being said, I don't ask when I meet them. Partly because that would be kind of awkward to randomly bring up, but mostly because I have no intentions of dating anyone at the moment, so it doesn't really matter.
  • jedwards7425
    jedwards7425 Posts: 38 Member
    I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.


    I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.

    Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.


    In his defence it is women's work. Do you expect him to learn to cook too?
    Yes, he at least needs to know how to make me a sammich. I mean 19 years with no sammich. How long do I allow this nonsense to continue? I'm gonna starve in my dirty clothes and no sammich in my tummy.

    LMAO!!!
  • hnsaunde
    hnsaunde Posts: 757 Member
    Just curious, when dating, how many of you need to ask your potential suitor if they have a job/car/place to live?

    Are any of those a deal breaker?

    I'm mostly single (not a lady though) and I did online dating for a while, so I could see in the profiles if they had any/all of those things so I didn't have to ask typically.

    The job would be a deal-breaker for me, because I've had situations in the past where I ended up supporting both myself and my ex, and it wasn't a situation I'd like to repeat any time soon. I don't particularly care what job they have, as long as I don't have to support them. Everything else I would work with for the right person :)
  • LunaZuriel
    LunaZuriel Posts: 77 Member
    I would rather be dating a man that has his own transportation and job, if not then I have to drag him everywhere and waste my money on him. So both partners need a job, it would make life a lot simpler also. I've been in that boat before, my ex had no job, no car, no license, still living with mama. He asked me for everything, and I was always broke because of him. Of course that relationship ended within a few months.
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    When I was single, I was a single mother...So If and when I dated I did have high standards and expectations for they would have potentially been in my daughters life. I already had my daughter to be a mother to so I didn't want a man who wasn't already established or someone I would have had to taxied around. I know that sounds mean, but I had previously been through so much from my ex husband that I wouldn't allow anything less then what she and I deserved.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)

    Why would their credit score matter?

    Because it shows that they know how to handle their finances. Hey... This is on MY list too!!! Don't want any deadbeats!!!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)

    Why would their credit score matter?

    Because she likes a man with money, one she doesn't have to take care of financially. Amiright?

    Why would their credit score determine if they have money and have financial independence?
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
    This might not be popular.

    When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:

    I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)

    Why would their credit score matter?

    Because it shows that they know how to handle their finances. Hey... This is on MY list too!!! Don't want any deadbeats!!!

    No, it doesn't, lol. It only shows how they manage debt.
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    To be honest, in these days in order to date you need a :

    Psychological test
    Credit Check
    Back Ground Check
    STD Check
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    This might not be popular.

    When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:

    I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:

    So you would prefer that the man have to settle for YOU instead?