Question for the single ladies of MFP
Replies
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
Because it shows that they know how to handle their finances. Hey... This is on MY list too!!! Don't want any deadbeats!!!
I don't think you understand how credit works...
You should be asking about investments/401k/mutual funds instead0 -
This might not be popular.
When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:
I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:
AMEN to this sister!!!0 -
As a single lady, those are important points to come up in early conversation, to me. I know I take great care of me. I need him to be able to take care of him. I'm too old to be sneaking into someone's parents house and always having to pick a dude up is no bueno :ohwell:0
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
Because it shows that they know how to handle their finances. Hey... This is on MY list too!!! Don't want any deadbeats!!!
I don't think you understand how credit works...
You should be asking about investments/401k/mutual funds instead
I'll be doing BOTH!! Trust me!0 -
I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
OMG there should definitely be a Manfax!
I'm happily single and yes I ask, even if it doesn't matter. Those things just naturally come up in conversation when you're getting to know someone. Now the real question should be if I'm going to JUDGE them based on their response and the answer is YES. Anyone that says they can be with someone that can't hold down a job is a lying liar. Love doesn't pay the bills or put a roof over your head.... but that's thinking long term and not every guy I meet is being evaluated for longevity. If it's just someone to hang out with and it's casual then it really doesn't matter.0 -
If you pick me up in your madre's car and attempt to take me to her house to bang, there's gonna be a problem.0
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i didn't when i met my husband and am now trying desperately to get a divorce after carrying his worthless *kitten* for 10 years. i was given the impression that he was this famous, cultured, jet-set guy, starting his own company building sports cars. i gave up my life in oregon, gave away nearly everything i owned, quit a really good job, and moved across the country to virginia to live with him. once there, i discovered that he "owned" a car, but it hadn't had an engine in 3 years. he lived with his mom "while he started his business" which it turns out he wasn't ACTUALLY saving up any money to start. he didn't even have a bank account! of course once there, i was broke, with no family nearby, and didn't know anyone so i had no way to get back home. whenever i'd tell him i was leaving him, he'd get violent and i'd stay. it's taken me this long to finally get the hell out.
so yeah. when i finally met a cute guy and we hit it off, and i found out his car was on the verge of busted (it broke down on him a week after we met), and he was living with his parents because his ex-gf got him fired? "sorry, dude. no." i'm dealing with enough crap in my life. no way i'm falling for THAT routine again. i've got my own life together, and i expect any guy i'm with to do the same.0 -
This might not be popular.
When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:
I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:
So you would prefer that the man have to settle for YOU instead?
Lol! No sir. Hopefully, he has standards too and wouldn't settle. Not everyone you meet is a match.. Just keep looking and give what you want in return.... don't settle and you will be okay. :flowerforyou:0 -
If they don't have a job and don't have real goals then THAT is DEFINITELY a deal breaker. If they are going nowhere in their life then that is not someone I want in my life at my age
You don't need a car and you do need to have some sort of living arrangements IMO 
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Is he funny? Smart? Does he respect me and value my opinion? Do we share interests? Is he nice? If all those things are present, I could not care less about his financial situation, so long as he doesn't expect me to support him.0
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
You're lucky you have to ask this question. Those who know the problems a mate with no money skills can cause, know why she said this. It's the reason I got divorced. And @Slorax, people with low credit scores usually have no investments, etc.0 -
This might not be popular.
When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:
I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:
AMEN to this sister!!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
job/car/place to live
These are essential questions that not only would I ask but willing answer. I'm not looking for a booty call or a one night stand. If I go on a date it is with a potential life mate.
Yes I want to know if you are stable and employed. It might not be your dream job but it's responsibility. You get up, go to work on time, do well, bring home funds and pay your bills. You can take care of yourself. You may be at a desk job, behind a counter or in a lab it does not matter. You get up, you go there. You want to strive to better yourself and your situation, bonus points.
Car. Another essential question especially in my region where public transpiration sucks balls. A car is a necessity to get to work, grocery shop and do life functions. Yes it's important you have one. Does it have to be a bloody BMW or Mercedes...hell no. Does it need to run, idealistically yeah. Again I'm looking for a life mate , someone I can rely on. If it gets serious I can depend on this person in a pinch. Emergency's usually require running vehicles.
Place to live,above all is the most important. Are you shacked up with 7 roommates and party all night, go out to bars and drink like a fish. I need to know. You may not be in the same place in life that I am. You live back at home with your parents? Ok, sometimes life kicked you in the crotch, sometimes you are taking care of them. Is it important for me to know your background as a potential mate, yes.
I expect these questions from a man also because the bottom line is we are looking for an asset, not a liability. I am a single Mom and so shooting the **** with a guy who holds a mediocre job on purpose, parties all the time, has no car and couch surfs for a living is not on my agenda.0 -
Not single, but when I met my current bf he didn't have a job. I fell for him anyway, even though that part wasn't my ideal. I love who I love, and I can't stop loving someone who's a great match for me just cause one thing about him isn't ideal. (He has since gotten a job.) So in my opinion, that shouldn't be a dealbreaker, as long as they are motivated and actively looking for a job.
My issue is, if the guy is terrible with money, that's a dealbreaker for me. Even if someone doesn't make a lot of money that's okay, as long as he is responsible with it and lives within his means.0 -
This might not be popular.
When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:
I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:
So you would prefer that the man have to settle for YOU instead?
Lol! No sir. Hopefully, he has standards too and wouldn't settle. Not everyone you meet is a match.. Just keep looking and give what you want in return.... don't settle and you will be okay. :flowerforyou:
Well you are insinuating that dating anyone below you financially is settling. So by your reasoning, unless you make a similar amount to what he is making, he would have to settle to date you. :flowerforyou:0 -
Met my hubby when he was sleeping on his sisters couch and catching rides to work. He was a driven and hard working man so the fact that he hadn't "made it" yet was a non issue.0
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
You're lucky you have to ask this question. Those who know the problems a mate with no money skills can cause, know why she said this. It's the reason I got divorced. And @Slorax, people with low credit scores usually have no investments, etc.
That is not true. I would argue that people with high credit scores have high debt loads and no investments.0 -
I wouldn't because it isn't the best way to get to know one another. I also dislike dating someone who "brags" about how much they make etc. They all have potential to be deal breakers, even if the roles were reversed.0
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
You're lucky you have to ask this question. Those who know the problems a mate with no money skills can cause, know why she said this. It's the reason I got divorced. And @Slorax, people with low credit scores usually have no investments, etc.
Not necessarily correct. I work in mortgage and many of my clients have close to 800 credit scores with little to no liquid assets.0 -
not single, but when i was interested in dating these things mattered a little. basically for me, if you DIDNT have the above listed, were you TRYING to get a job/car/place to live, and how serious were you about trying? so, if you sent out one job app a week then played video games all day, it was a no go. there were also some other "rules" i had in place. If you arent trying to get a job, be doing something productive (college and/or internship) to move forward in life.
I am not ashamed of my standards.0 -
I have no credit and I have investments. A credit score is meaningless unless you want to buy on credit.I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
You're lucky you have to ask this question. Those who know the problems a mate with no money skills can cause, know why she said this. It's the reason I got divorced. And @Slorax, people with low credit scores usually have no investments, etc.0 -
iam single i never ask them questions iam not worried about what a person has more so iam concerned about how much of good person they are .. ppl are so worried about materials these days0
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Single friends my age tell me that vasectomies tend to be the most attractive thing along with credit scores.0
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
Because she likes a man with money, one she doesn't have to take care of financially. Amiright?
Ummm... doesn't necessarily mean he has money. May however imply that he is at least responsible and pays his bills on time.0 -
I'm not single nor a "lady", but I don't like that this is only for single ladies because rules are stooopid.
I don't think I would ever ask these questions. It seems offensive to ask something that everyone should already have. I think they would reveal themselves quickly if they didn't have any of these things, but I could be wrong.
Whew, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this crap. Oh, and he has a car, job and a place to live. He just doesn't know how to use our washing machine yet. I should have asked that question.
In his defence it is women's work. Do you expect him to learn to cook too?
Sigh. .sadly. . I've been a single dad now long enough that I'm quite adept at using the washing machine. I know how to use fabric softener and how to use the bleach dispenser. . I know how to use the dryer and when to set it for delicates vs. cottons. I know how to do dishes and load the dishwasher so that the stuff actually gets clean (since I also have to unload the dishwasher). .I know how to vacuum and mop and how to scrub the tub.
In my defense, I have forgotton how to put the toilet seat down.0 -
This might not be popular.
When i was dating, if the man wasn't at the level I was or above... Friendzone.:laugh: I'm not taking away from my child in any way. Also, I assumed he had transportation (living in Florida it's a necessity, not a luxury). If he didn't... friendzone. :laugh:
I'm wasn't going to settle. :flowerforyou:
So you would prefer that the man have to settle for YOU instead?
Lol! No sir. Hopefully, he has standards too and wouldn't settle. Not everyone you meet is a match.. Just keep looking and give what you want in return.... don't settle and you will be okay. :flowerforyou:
Well you are insinuating that dating anyone below you financially is settling. So by your reasoning, unless you make a similar amount to what he is making, he would have to settle to date you. :flowerforyou:
I like this Thread :flowerforyou:
Okay, Good point.
It's his choice, just like I have my choice.
I guess I'm of the kind that feels a man should be the "Head of household". I will hold up my end; If it came to it, his end too (someone I have history with) but i will not knowingly enter into a relationship with a Grown man, who is having those types of difficulties... I don't know you like that. :laugh: I have a child to put FIRST.
BTW, I'm speaking of a situation in the here and now. Not like when I was a teenager with plenty of years left to make mistakes and correct them.
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I am not single yet but will be as soon as my divorce is final.....the first thing I would ask is "WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT SCORE" I really just need a manfax (ya know instead of a carfax)
Why would their credit score matter?
Because it shows that they know how to handle their finances. Hey... This is on MY list too!!! Don't want any deadbeats!!!
This is not always the case. Between the ages of 18-22, I wasn't very responsible with my credit cards, yet I was able to keep my banking finances in check (checking/savings). During that time my credit got shot to hell. I've spent some time building my credit back up and it's not horrible anymore, but still not great. On the contrary to that, I've got a great job and am completely self sufficient. Nobody takes care of me but me.0 -
Just curious, when dating, how many of you need to ask your potential suitor if they have a job/car/place to live?
Are any of those a deal breaker?
I don't ask, But I'll find out eventually. That's normally first date conversation. Granted, I prefer a guy with a the basic necessities of being an adult. But they are not all deal breakers. Although he most definitely needs a job. I don't care where.0 -
I'm single and it depends on the guy. If he is young or pursuing higher education I evaluate if he is ambitious enough to have a job, a car and a house in the future. If he is older, he at least needs to have a job, one lined up or an idea of one brewing. I don't ask per-se, but ambition shows through. I just don't want someone who would mooch off of me, just like I would never mooch off of anyone. That would be the actual deal breaker. It's not what he does or does not own, but his unwillingness to try.0
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I'm too old to be dating people who don't have a job, car, or place to live. That isn't being materialistic-that's being older than18. I'm never going back to dating a dude with no car, no job, no living quarters, or any combination of the three. That's just self respect for me. If you don't have those things, then a girlfriend isn't what you should be spending your time looking for, a job and a place to live, and eventually a car are. Those are pretty basic things and I have all three so why would I date someone who didn't. Losing your license while dating me is also a deal breaker.0
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