Question for the single ladies of MFP

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Replies

  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    When I started dating my now husband, he had a bicycle, a part-time job and lived in the cheapest, most run-down place in town (with 4 roommates). I knew all those things about him - he never tried to hide any of it, but I never questioned him either. It just came out in natural conversation. At that time, I already had a successful career, owned my own home and had a nice, newer car. It didn't really matter to me though, because I liked him as a person immediately.

    We've been married almost 17 years now.
  • M00NPYE
    M00NPYE Posts: 193 Member
    I'm not single now but when I was, yes... no job, living with mommy, in my experience these also come with no vehicle and trouble... definite deal breakers! :yawn:
  • journalistjen
    journalistjen Posts: 265 Member
    A smart lady wouldn't have to ask outright--they would get to know you and find these things out.

    For most decent ladies, they can be deal breakers.
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
    I AM single and in the dating world. I do NOT ask those questions, exactly. We do discuss careers as a natural part of conversation. Never discuss transportation or living arrangements. If it comes up, it comes up, and a couple times it has.

    As far as a deal breaker...

    many people probably won't like my response but you don't know where I've been and/or come from. I refuse to be burnt /screwed over again! So, while I can't say for sure, perhaps if the person didn't have a job, home and vehicle, it just might be a deal breaker. I won't be a sugar momma to anyone an ylonger! PERIOD!

    I am in the same boat as this!
    I don't care if you live with friends or family. No car? How about a bike? If you have a driver's license I am okay with that. I prefer if you have a job because I HATE being the one to always pay for stuff. I dated a guy who didn't have a job (he was a full time student) and I paid for everything but the rent, did not like it. But I mean it doesn't have to be a high end job, it could be McDonald's for all I care, as long as there is some income.

    But I do not ask questions like that off the bat, normally comes up in conversation
  • benniesmother
    benniesmother Posts: 269 Member
    personally, these things are deal breakers. I want my man to love his career. I mean.. he could be a freaking garbage man. but if he really truly loves what he does, that is super sexy to me. edit: even if he doesn't love his job, that's ok too. as long as he's a hard worker and willing to have a job. if he isn't willing to pay for his own self to live, how would he support children? which I do (in 2394873 years) want.

    in regards to a home.. I don't think I could date someone without a place to live. I mean, where would we snuggle?
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I would rather be dating a man that has his own transportation and job, if not then I have to drag him everywhere and waste my money on him. So both partners need a job, it would make life a lot simpler also. I've been in that boat before, my ex had no job, no car, no license, still living with mama. He asked me for everything, and I was always broke because of him. Of course that relationship ended within a few months.

    I've been there too. No more driving someone to work because his car got repossessed because he wouldn't make the payments.
    No more personal loans that never got paid back.

    Being financially irresponsible is a deal breaker.

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