Why do I keep sabotaging myself??

Sounds like my life.. If you want someone in the "same boat" for support feel free to add me...

I have had a really hard time losing weight, my work schedule and home life has been so crazy that regular exercise and healthy diet were too difficult to maintain. This past week though I started a new job with more reasonable hours and I had time to go to the gym. It's like my life is finally permitting me with the ability to get a healthy life style on track, and because I had such a good week I had fast food on my lunch break. Then today I had fast food for lunch and dinner, and cupcakes for breakfast and snacks.... I know. No body needs to tell me how bad that is. I feel gross. I wasn't that hungry, and I wasn't craving something unhealthy. It's like I felt like I was on the verge of breaking my bad habit and I got cold feet. Like I was nervous to be healthier, or afraid of feeling empty if I lost weight.... I don't know how to get past this feeling. I genuinely want to lose weight, and I'm not going to stop trying just because of today. Has anyone else had this problem or feeling? If so, what helped?

I understand how hard it is to get into a healthy routine and the mental side of it, trying to get pumped about loosing weight. I really want to, but before having a baby, I never had to worry about my weight since I couldn't gain a pound so I ate more fatty foods. Trying to change things is hard for me, especially with a new baby. I don't have time, don't want to give up good flavorful food (I seriously love food), and don't really know where/how to start.

Things I've found that work for me, so far (today is 1 week since I started MFP):
Drinking a lot of water, specifically a glass before every time I eat.
Allowing myself some junk foods and trying not to feel guilty when I overeat or eat unhealthily. Tomorrow is another day.
Set easily reachable goals (1lb/week for me).
Try to get in plenty of protein so that I feel full longer.

It might be easier for you to cook enough for multiple meals when you have time to cook and then bring them to work? Also, some fast food isn't as bad. I'm sure you could google ideas or look on here.

Look at what "healthy lifestyle" means to you at the moment. Are you trying to change too many things all at once? Are you telling yourself you have to cut out eating all the foods you actually enjoy? That's a sure-fire way of making your brain rebel and want to eat all those things. Start with the calorie deficit. Keep it simple. Track your foods, hit your calorie goal and go from there.

Whatever changes you make to your diet - make them small, gradual... things you know you can easily stick to. Don't say "right, that's it, no more junk food, no more cupcakes, only skinless chicken and broccoli for me". Fit the foods you enjoy into your diet. Start looking at the other nutrients listed in your diary. Are you getting enough protein? Are you getting as much fibre as you would like? Start making small adjustments. I'm not saying eat fast food all day, but I'm saying that these habits are so ingrained, it's really hard to change them overnight. Take baby steps, and you'll probably find that the balance of your diet changes without you even really noticing. My diet is completely different now to when I started MFP, but it's only happened gradually.

Diets fail because people feel too restricted and they inevitably fall off the proverbial wagon. I disagree that you have to develop will power. I think will power is overrated. Yes, of course, some degree of self restraint comes into it, but you need to create a lifestyle that you can live with. If that means a cupcake every day, or a cupcake once a week, or whatever, then so be it. Meet your calorie goal first, get comfortable with that, and then make tweaks and adjustments until you're happy with the balance of your diet.

As for the mental aspect, and fearing losing weight - that's not uncommon. Just do your best to address these issues as you go along. Look at why you fear/worry about losing weight, or why you fear changing your habits. Don't forget that you don't have to lose it all at once. It's not all or nothing. Try not to put a deadline on it. If you lose 15 lbs and feel a bit uncomfortable with it - try maintaining that weight for a while until you get used to it. Losing some of the weight and getting more active will be very beneficial to your health, even if you decide you don't want to lose any more. And if you don't feel you can sort all this stuff out yourself, don't be afraid of getting some professional help in the form of therapy or counselling. There's no shame in that. A lot of people struggle with the mental aspect of losing weight, and sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective on it.

re: adding me… for sure