Physical Attraction

should of let him know his genitals are not as big as they should be

& never allow him to speak to you or be in your presence again

Assuming you'd even know about that if he's a friend, not a lover.

Is he just a friend or a "friend" you'd like to get to know more than just friends? Either way, no offense to your "friend", but he has no right to criticize your appearance in any way imo ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌. and girl, you keep making excuses for him, and that doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship; at least, not when he talks to you like that and you try and make excuses for him as if you deserve it...and you don't. From your profile pic, you look good and healthy, and not sloppy at all.

On the other hand, as someone who's kind of sensitive to perfume smells, I'd say THANK YOU for not wearing perfume. Honestly, people wear too much perfume nowadays; every time i walk through the mall i choke a little from some passer-by with too much perfume "orz

I don't see why perfume is something to be concerned about... it's not mandatory, I know tons of people who don't wear it.

and in fact a lot of people would THANK you for not wearing it. A lot of people out there with scent sensitivities these days.

I just wear deodorant and i only put perfume on when i go out to dinner or out dancing with friends.

I have a slightly different opinion. In my personal case I WISH someone had pointed out my weight was getting out of control. Tough love! It might have got me started on my journey sooner. I was always aware that I was putting on weight, but in my head it was never that bad.

However, if you are already a healthy weight when he said that, then it was uncalled for.

I have a slightly different opinion. In my personal case I WISH someone had pointed out my weight was getting out of control. Tough love! It might have got me started on my journey sooner. I was always aware that I was putting on weight, but in my head it was never that bad.

However, if you are already a healthy weight when he said that, then it was uncalled for.

I think if someone is concerned about your weight and they know you well enough it's appropriate for them to say something. I don't get the impression that the OP's guy is saying something out of concern, but probably has some serious issues otherwise. With all due respect to the OP, it even sounds to me like he is grooming her to be a certain way. I say this because she didn't ask for the advice and he's said she's sloppy and needs to wear perfume and has made comments about what appears to be a normal weight.

Back when I was 220 pounds at 24 years old, I did have friends point out that I was gaining too much weight. It was said in a very kind way, such as, "You look like you've been putting on quite a lot of weight lately. I'm very concerned about your health." Sure, I didn't want to hear it then because I already knew I was ruining my health but I didn't know how to stop the bingeing. I was also a recovering bulimic, and eventually lost weight properly and got into recovery for my eating disorder.

There is a way to show concern for people we love who are putting their risk at health.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but was he of asian heritage? I know that when my mother's company (a popular electronics group) sends women to Korea, the men make strange comments towards them without being aware that they are being rude.

One time a female CEO was told by Korea executives, out of the blue, that she really needs to wear lipstick because she looks lazy. She said in America, a comment like that would lead to a lawsuit and they were completely shocked. They asked why and she explained how you can't comment on people's appearances like that in the workplace, because that has nothing to do with work.

I'm not saying all asian people are like this by any means- but there is a cultural aspect in certain areas that "allows" stuff like that to be said, and it isn't supposed to be considered rude.

That being said, it is HORRIBLY rude. That guy either needs to be dropped like a sack of bricks, or informed about what is appropriate and what is not.

You look beautiful already and don't have to wear perfume every day by any means...don't take any of what he says to heart. He sounds like an idiot.

What an awesome insult.
[/quote]
....he was nothing but a doucherella....
[/quote]

We were friends for years so it sucks that my weight is coming between us.

No, hon. It sucks that his rude and uncalled for comments are destroying the friendship. Please understand that this attitude he has is not okay.

If you want to lose weight for yourself, do so. But don't let this not-friend of yours bully you into something you don't want to do.

I will say, that sometimes it's the best of friends that will be honest with you. If I'm wearing the worst outfit of all time, I would really appreciate my friends letting me know. If I ask if this dress makes my butt look huge- I want them to be honest. Same with my husband. Friends don't let friends walk out of the house looking like a hot mess!

That being said- it IS just their opinion. There is a point where you say to yourself.... "I look fabulous anyways". At no point do I let the opinions of others tarnish my self esteem. Don't take his comment as an end all. Some people hate perfume. Some people like women that are thicker. To each their own. Someone else thinks you are ahhhmazing the way you are.

If you are wanting to get fit and trim for you- that's awesome. If you are doing it because of a negative comment- let me tell you- you WILL fail. If it's not in your heart that this is something you want to accomplish for yourself, it wont happen. Which, could make you feel even worse.

My advise would be to examine the real reasons you want to take on a fitness journey and go from there. Getting in shape is meant to be a positive road, not one that feels like a punishment for not being good enough.

Also.... perfume does not make one sloppy or un-sloppy. You can throw a splash of Chanel no. 5 on a wrinkled dirty outfit.... that doesn't make it suddenly amazing. It's a complete presentation. Being put together has nothing to do with weight.

*hugs*

I don't see why perfume is something to be concerned about... it's not mandatory, I know tons of people who don't wear it.

and in fact a lot of people would THANK you for not wearing it. A lot of people out there with scent sensitivities these days.

I agree with the no perfume too but there are a couple of people in my office who do not bath/shower as they should and I can not go near them for the BO. Its really bad some days and I would prefer the cologne/perfume to the smell they have.