Wow...Really? *VENT*

If you aren't already, you may want to consider seeing a counselor to talk about this. My mom treats me differently than your mom, but she plays a significant role in my food issues and that's not something you can move on from easily without talking to someone who can help.

Your mom's ridiculous. You look fine to me. .

Of course, I don't know your mom. .but I doubt her underlying motivation is YOUR happiness. .Mistreating your daughter doesn't really facilitate her happiness. . oddly enough. .

So. . try to feel sorry for HER. . it's hard to get your feelings hurt by people you feel sorry for . . Maybe suggest she get professional help for these feelings of inadequacy she is suffering from. .

There comes a time when you decide not to let other people control your feelings, well being, and life. This does not mean that you have to love them any less. You only have control over 1% of your life (YOU!). You cannot control the other 99%. As many have mentioned, she obviously has a personality disorder which will never change without serious counseling and humility on her part.

Turn the tables and move on with your life. Offer your help. She obviously is struggling with something much greater than you.

I think the best response next time she makes a snide remark is this. "Mom. I am beautiful. I work hard to keep myself healthy even if my weight doesn't reflect your ideal image perception. I am smart and happy. I am accepting that I may need to work harder to stay fit then others. Perhaps you should take a deep look at your reflection and ask yourself why you are projecting your expectations of "perfect" on me and apply them to your own insecurities. You are obviously unhappy about something. You are my mom. I love you. I will happily and wholeheartedly support you on your journey of healing."

If she replies in a offensive or angry way, just tell her you love her and ask her about her day.

My mother is nothing like this (thank God) but my sister-in-law has a daughter (ten yrs old) and is constantly badgering her about her weight. The young girl is overweight but I don't think poking and pinching her stomach in front of a room full of people is the answer. As someone who struggled with anorexia I could never do or say such things to my future children. My sister-in-law told me that she has put her daughter in soccer (something she should have done yrs ago versus telling her how big her arms have gotten) and rather than telling me how much her daughter likes the sport, if she's made friends, or things like that she tells me "oh and she's finally lost some weight." I didn't comment on the weight at all and said "I hope she likes it (soccer) and is having fun". No child should have to suffer the pain of their mother picking on them, the world will do that enough.

"Well...are you doing anything about it"
I missed the part of where you answered.. well are you?
What are you doing
What are your goals.

See if you have these talking points..then the conversation is only 5min, watch.
Dear your fat, what are you doing about it.
well Mom, I am going to the Gym for 30 min burning 300 calories a day. Reducing my calorie intake to about 500 calories a day.
Its a long process don't expect the results to be over night.

See how quick that was.

Or better yet, "mom, you're a b*tch. What are you doing about it?"

The OP is an adult, it's not really any of her mom's business what she's doing about it, especially when the mother is being judgmental about the matter.

"Honey, I'm concerned for your health and wellbeing due to your weight. Is there something we can do to get healthy, together?" (or something along that lines) sends a far, far different message than "you're never going to get a decent job or get married, because you're so fat" (which has undertones of "no one's going to love you or want to be around you, because you're fat"). The former is concern, even if it comes out awkwardly, the latter is just abusive, plain and simple.

Personally I think you look great and don't need to lose anything.

My mother is also loves to point out my flaws...and my sisters. Luckily we live thousands of miles away which helps our relationship tremendously. I have to constantly remind myself that her feelings are her feelings and that they have nothing to do with me. Sorry!

Your mom's ridiculous. You look fine to me. .

Of course, I don't know your mom. .but I doubt her underlying motivation is YOUR happiness. .Mistreating your daughter doesn't really facilitate her happiness. . oddly enough. .

So. . try to feel sorry for HER. . it's hard to get your feelings hurt by people you feel sorry for . . Maybe suggest she get professional help for these feelings of inadequacy she is suffering from. .

This is a good point!

Also, even though I'm not the OP, I just want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences and opening up about this.

It's odd how some people are just misguided in such a weird way. When I was 15 or 16, I was a dancer and I looked great. I weighed 98 pounds. I have a more curvy figure than my mother (accentuated by my very small waist). I'm just shaped differently than my mother. My mother told me that I was getting curvy and going to have big thighs and would probably struggle with weight my whole life and that I needed to stop eating like a teenager. I was at a very sensitive point in my development. I had been through severe sexual abuse by my former stepfather and had learned to view myself in a sexual way (that my value was only in my sex appeal), and also had difficult feelings about growing and developing curves. I did think I was fat. I wasn't at all. And I was doing good to learn to see developing curves as attractive. But, when she said that, issues that I'd been battling since I was 5 years old (wanting to be small and disappear) really began to express in terms of my deciding to eat next to nothing and exercise as much as possible. I dropped down into the 80 pound range and the consequences on my health at that time were physically very difficult to cope with. I realized on my own that this was not what I wanted for myself. I wanted to be strong and healthy. I wanted to embrace my body, even though it was developing sexually. And not to diet my curves away, down to skin and bones. I've been physically and mentally healthy ever since. But, I had to do that on my own. I could not count on my mother to help. She did the opposite. And I don't want to talk badly about her, or blame her, or be too harsh on her for her mistakes. I know that she never intended me harm, and she just made mistakes. And she really believed she was helping me to prevent me from a life of weight struggles (although I don't understand how she was able to think that). She focused a lot on my appearance. And we had our issues with this further along as well. It's in the past now and I am a full grown woman, with children of my own. But, I reflect on my past experiences, so that I don't ever pass down those same types of dysfunctions and instead do my very best for myself and my own daughters. And being a mom to my own daughters has been so incredibly restorative and healing for me. I know that my mother does better when she knows better. She is doing the best she can. But, she has her own issues. I have been hurt by her very much, in a much deeper way than I would want to explain here. But, I forgive her. That doesn't mean that I would ever give her my full emotional trust.