Goal reached. Family horrified.

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  • Alexandra_S
    Alexandra_S Posts: 41 Member
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    You look gorgeous! I don't know why would anyone say such horrible things to anyone. Is that woman fat herself? Maybe she's jealous. Anyway, when people hurt you they do it for their reasons, because of their own thoughts and problems. It's not because of you. It's because THEY are unhappy about your weight for some reason. But what about you? Are you happy? How do you feel physically? Great? Then keep doing whatever you're doing. I realise your relatives are educated and know a thing or two about health, but even the smartest people can be mistaken. Also when it has to do with our relatives we can't be objective I'm afraid. They are prejudiced. Maybe they just like overweight people. But the only thing that matters is what you like. Not them.

    I've been dealing with my weight for years now. Sometimes sussessfully, sometimes not. I've read a lot of good literature on the topic. I've seen people with eating disorders. You look nothing like them. You look awesome!
  • Sweetie_darling
    Sweetie_darling Posts: 123 Member
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    Congratulations on your success :)

    You look beautiful (both before AND after). You look healthy and happy and not "ew" in the slightest!!!!!!

    People find it difficult when their loved ones lose weight and look dramatically different. I've lost 31 kg from my heaviest weight and I experienced a lot of different reactions. I found it made people look at themselves about how they are exercising, looking, eating, taking care of themselves. If they aren't measuring up in their eyes they lash out to play down your success to make themselves feel better.

    I am most certainly not making excuses for your family, what they said is very hurtful, completely out of line and they should know better, but keep in mind it's probably coming from a place of insecurity- not many people deal with change well.

    Congrats again :)

    Xx
  • divainsneakers
    divainsneakers Posts: 397 Member
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    I think you look great!

    Trust yourself and your progress.
  • dcastdal
    dcastdal Posts: 8 Member
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    You look great!

    I can say from experience that people complain that you're too big, and you start losing... then they claim you're too small (or losing too fast in my case). I've learned to let it go. Find what makes YOU happy and stick to it.

    Congratulations on hitting your goal, and you truly do look beautiful (before and after). :smile:
  • pearlmorning
    pearlmorning Posts: 86 Member
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    Love the face photos, especially your smile and you are so pretty there is nothing EW about you at all! You look fresh and healthy. Don't listen to anyone who says anything else! Oh by the way, I would kill for your hair!
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    WOW! You look healthy, fit. No bones are sticking out, you have nice muscle mass. Families are the worst critics...as anything different doesnt look "right". Now, based on my opinion...and I have never seen you before...you look healthy.

    If it was my family...well I would not be shocked if my family said things like that. I would simply by-pass it. Give it a few months of maintenance and allow them to adjust. If they are still "ew"...well...then they may have some body image issues themselves.
  • Marlene1667
    Marlene1667 Posts: 201 Member
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    You look amazing! Definitely not EW. What hell is wrong with people? You might have body image issues but who wouldn't being surrounded by people like that. You don't look too thin. You look perfect, really. It's tough when your family doesn't support you. Just remember it's their insecurities coming out, feel sorry for them and let it rolll off your back.
  • mochapygmy
    mochapygmy Posts: 2,123 Member
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    You are not being sensitive by being hurt by those comments. I certainly would be upset. I know that you listed a number of qualifications that should make family members knowledgeable about health and fitness BUT we don't see family the same way as we see strangers.

    Since you are in a normal BMI range just stay there. Next time your family makes such comments you could respond with "I'll consider your advice" and not engage them on this topic.

    Your face is not remotely "EW" and I would be very pleased to have such a lovely face.

    Great job on your loss and healthy lifestyle! I hope you can be proud of yourself because you earned it!
  • shaunagirl
    shaunagirl Posts: 149 Member
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    I think you look great! Would my family saying those things hurt my feelings? ABSOLUTELY! Sometimes our families can be so mean and hurtful without even realizing it. That being said, hold your head high and know that you worked hard to get where you are today. Don't let them take that away from you and don't change for them. If you are happy and healthy where you are at then that is all that matters. Chin up girl, you look great!!
  • debbiedoeshealth
    debbiedoeshealth Posts: 97 Member
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    Go with what you feel about yourself. Don't let others define how you see yourself. I will say that I think you look lovely and healthy.
  • quietasariot
    quietasariot Posts: 198 Member
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    You look FANTASTIC. Fit and healthy - there is nothing wrong with that!
    That being said, I have been told by family members that I shouldn't lose more weight. I don't get why that's their concern - yet when I was overweight and unhealthy, nobody said anything. How is that acceptable?
    You do you. It is hard not to care what people, family especially, think, but again - you really do look fantastic!
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,301 Member
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    They are used to the "old" you. You look so great and not too thin at all. But i know that those closest to us will the ones to sabotage our efforts. They fear the new you will be different. They want to feel comfortable. In the meantime..their insecurities could ruin your fitness, body, and life.

    Smile at them..and in time they'll get use to the new you… it will all be over.
  • ekztawas
    ekztawas Posts: 114 Member
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    Ugh, that's frustrating! Families can be a pain. As long as you're happy with where you are I don't see a problem with your weight or body. in fact, you look amazing! Your facial progress is incredible-- might I suggest you get bangs?! I think your face would look so cute with them.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    Taze them, and when eventually stumble to their feet and hobble off to change their clothes, taze them again.

    At one point I had a neighbor try to force an "intervention" on me. She had called me over to fix her computer and basically sat me down, locked the door, and said "I see you running every night. You've lost a lot of weight and there obviously something dark inside your heart eating away at you. I think we need to talk about your soul." Then she tried to get me to come to her church the next day.

    For about a month afterward, she would bake me cookies. Gigantic plates of cookies, every day, delivered to my house.

    I think the Taser M26C is down to under $400 now, and that's including a laser, target, and four cartridges. That price practically justifies buying two.

    Sweet! :laugh:
  • katralber
    katralber Posts: 2
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    All I want to say is Congratulations to you! Reaching a goal especially body changing goals can be difficult. Your family from what I see are just not used to the change yet. They will come around once they see the happiness in your eyes! You look great and I hope that you don't let anything get you down. You go girl!
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
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    I freaking studied your picture. If you are still at that weight (I weigh smack down the middle of my BMI as well) I have NO clue what your family is talking about. I do not approve of being underweight at all and can spot it quickly. You look muscular and very well balanced from what I see.

    Sometimes family wants us to be what they want to see not what should be there. I hope they come around and see the truth of your health and fitness. I do not believe you need to gain back 15 lbs.
  • mimiteh35
    mimiteh35 Posts: 486 Member
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    My two cents: I think THEY are the ones with the image issues.... they weren't happy when you were 17 and this weight, and they aren't happy with you now at this weight...but the question is are YOU happy? If they are that blatant to "take a stand" and talk behind your back on how they think you should look, then do they care more about what they "think" you should look like, or the fact that you are healthy and happy??? I think you look fabulous and I can't imagine a family member of mine talking to me that way, its hurtful and those kinds of rude comments are what leads women to fall into eating disorders. I'm so sorry they made you doubt you. Would they feel similar if you made blatant comments about them? I'm so sorry you had to deal with this and they are making you doubt what you've accomplished! Keep your chin up, feet planted firmly on the ground, and LIVE YOUR LIFE, and if they complain, then oh well, let them complain while you are too busy being HAPPY and enjoying life! They will get over themselves when they are used to seeing the thinner, healthier, happier you!
  • tenaciousdee78
    tenaciousdee78 Posts: 29 Member
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    are they jelous? seriously you look great, and well done to you xx
  • tinglesby
    tinglesby Posts: 96 Member
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    OMG!! i think you look fantastic!!! theyre just saying that because they've known you as heavier for so long, and were probably just shocked. they definitely didnt need to be so mean about it, tho!! you have done a wonderful job and should be damn proud of yourself!!
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
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    Your family is seriously jealous of your weight loss. You look amazing, and clearly very healthy and fit.

    What were they saying when your weight was in the 140s? Were they telling you that becoming overweight or obese can lead to metabolic syndrome so you better lose weight? Were they concerned that your face was getting *too* fat? If not, then forget their comments. Stay on course. You're an inspiration to me!
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