Goal reached. Family horrified.

delicious_cocktail

Look, I've read your stuff. You have some pretty extreme views on diet, ranging from eating 1104 calories a day to thinking animal products cause 97% of heart attacks. I find it hard to believe that you've never had these discussions with your family of Olympic athletes and medical professionals.

But okay. Maybe they really are just jerks, in which case, why do you even bother sending them pictures of yourself for them to critique?

Whoa.

crazie4lulu

Haters gonna hate!!!! That INCLUDES family.... unfortunately:grumble:

DebbieLyn63

All I did was take 9 months to lose 30 lbs to get from a bmi of overweight, and now I am in the middle of the "normal" or "healthy" bmi and I am currently maintaining. I did it by eating at a 20% reduction, as advised by many calorie calculators, approved by my doctors and personal trainers, and now I am eating at my TDEE to maintain.

You did NOTHING wrong here. Do not let anyone take away from the sense of accomplishment you should have for succeeding in creating a healthier body and lifestyle for yourself.

With the way your dad has treated you all your life, and how the rest of your family follows suit, it is no wonder that you ended up with depression issues. Seriously, they have huge problems, and are basically a bunch of bullies with a gang mentality, led by your abusive father. Yes, I called your father abusive, because that is exactly what he is. If what you said about him being so embarrassed by you being 'so fat' that he wouldn't come to your ballet recitals in HS, then that is completely messed up.

I have one sibling that I rarely come in contact with anymore, because of his abusive behavior towards me and my son, and his hypocrisy on the highest level. I tried for years to have a relationship with him, but finally had to just say no more. I have many other family members who love and respect me, and they will be here long after my brother is gone. Family only goes so far, then you have to do what you need to do for your own mental and physical health.

l_ashley

Your family is so used to you being overweight that they have a skewed perception of what an "appropriate" weight is for you. Ignore them. You look fantastic! You don't look underweight or sickly at all. Let them hate. You earned your body.

frood

"Family" is not a valid excuse to be a total jerk.

I would say that when they start insulting you, end the conversation. Sorry you had to experience this.

doctorsookie

your family sucks.... that is all there is to it.

you look fantastic. I'd love to look like you.

JONZ64

Do YOU feel healthy?
Do YOU feel well and energetic?
Do YOU think you look good?

If YES to any or all of these then YOU are right where YOU need to be.

(OH and you look GREAT!)

dopeysmelly

I feel for you big-time. My thoughts..

I also live "an ocean away". It means there's no day-to-day toxicity/nagging from family but it does get bottled-up for massive, intensive, hurtful interactions when you do communicate.

I've always been the chubby, baby of the family, which basically means that my sister and my mom have always felt they have the right to give me excessive unwanted advice in ways I would never dream of reciprocating.

Personality also seems to have a lot to do with it, and level of education is generally, unfortunately, irrelevant. My family are also highly educated, but can say the most hurtful things without even realizing it. I've learned to ignore much of what they say, and accept that since I moved to the US 15 years ago I've become a different person than they knew. (I even have a US accent for heaven's sake).

Good luck to you, and know that there are clearly 1000s of people behind you.

Sharistiles

I think this all goes back to the adage; make sure you know why you are making these changes in your life. You are clearly setting goals and accomplishing them for yourself. You are making yourself healthier and happier and that is what it is all about. Let go of other people's ideas or opinions. Just because our friends and family love us, it does not mean they always know what is best.

Celebrate your success and let the rest go. Congratulations!

allaboutthecake

I think you are at a healthy weight for your height & age. 37 is not 17 anymore and yes your face will look different, duh! I also think you look awesome. Family probably can't wrap their head around your new healthy self. Perhaps if you shared your activity level with them next time they get all pissy and calmly tell them your workout routine and how awesome your BP & heartrate is now that you're not as out-of-shape they'd get a clue.

With that said, Skyping can make a person look washed out, pale, and "drawn". Perhaps tilt your monitor a bit, wear a bit of makeup before Skyping again? It may just help. You are in Denmark I imagine not a lot of sun to give your skin color which is why recommended some makeup. (looking at your 17y/o self, you had on more in that particular photo). (And before I get tromped on from someone about the sun, I myself wear 110spf.) Just some useful tips. You didn't say what your hubby had to say about the weight loss. His opinion and your own are more important.

Goldeneyes19

I think you look amazing. I'm feeling badly that your family is being so harsh. Are they always this direct and straight forward with you? Positive intent would say that you know they are saying it because they love you. Hard to think, tho, when it probably "feels" like they are underminding your success.
Let it go and be happy in yourself. No one else can bring you happiness.

beakueng

sorry, wanted to delete my reply, but don't know how!?

AleshiaBunting

You look AMAZING!

amperry328

Not that you haven't already heard this 100 times at this point, but you look great! Good job and congratulations!! Family members can be the worst.

iRun_Butterfly

You look amazing! Enjoy your success and know that you are healthy and fit, and fantastic. I think your family has some issues and they are directing it toward you. You were beautiful before, you are still beautiful, no Eww factor at all.

ren_ascent

Ask them if they want you to compromise your long term health so they feel better about your new features. They may just be used to the old, comfortable image they have of you and aren't taking that into consideration. IMO your face looks beautiful in both your before and after pictures. However, you look fit and healthy in the after pic of your entire body. I say congratulations and keep doing what you're doing.

kuderstadt

You look amazing… but I know what's going on… my family and friends did it too… I got called anorexic, MIL calling hubby behind my back to see if I'm actually eating… friends telling me my face and neck look all wrong… 'gaunt' was one of the words used to describe my face… people!!! It's only 30lbs… so frustrating.
Just do what you're doing, you look great.

Mommyand4

You look fantastic. The same thing happened to me when I reached my weight goal. To me I thought I looked good and to my family they thought I was sick. They said to me that I better stop exercising and stop starving myself because it was no good for me. It really did hurt my feelings and I started to think that maybe I was sick and that was why I was losing so much weight. They convinced me and I stopped working out for a while. I started to feel tired and grouchy and I didn't feel well at all. I even stopped MFP. Until one day I realized I let them bring me down and I was not going to take it anymore. I joined MFP again I started working out and I am much happier. I still eat what I want to eat but I always work out.

Don't listen to what others say. Do what you want to do. You look healthy and beautiful.

melissawilson61

I am sorry your family spoke that way to you it seems that the issue is theirs not yours. I would simple thank them for their concern and then move on and think about it no more.

jodybo2

I think you look terrific, much more healthy! Maybe you should tell your family that their hateful words hurt you. That's a tough situation but you should be very proud of your accomplishment! You have inspired me!