Goal reached. Family horrified.

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Replies

  • solidsiren80
    solidsiren80 Posts: 5
    Is it possible that you were "happier" when you were eating whatever you wanted before? Maybe they considered you a happier LOOKING person for some reason before. When I look at both pics, having never met you and knowing nothing about you, I CAN honestly tell you in my humble opinion, you look happier in the first one, but maybe you were tired in the newer pic? Also, I can say your body LOOKS FANTASTIC AND YOU LOOK SOOOOO MUCH BETTER NOW!!! You dont need to gain any weight! Like the other person said, they have a picture of you in their minds eye, what they are used to seeing, and they arent used to seeing your face look thinner! You look great. It sounds to me like your family- no offense - is a bunch of judgemental, know it all, a-holes. lol you arent alone on that one, let me tell u =P I am 5'5, and 31 yrs old. When I moved back home, everyone kept asking me if I was pregnant. So i knew i had to do something! At that point, I wasnt fat, but I was pushing it, and my belly was huge, thats unfortunately where ALL of my fat goes =( So anyway, 5 months later, I have only lost 10 lbs, but I have gained lots of muscle and lost roughly 8 inches around my stomach area. I can actually walk around and not have to suffocate myself sucking in my stomach! Its WONNNNNDERFUL!!

    You. Look. GREAT. Dont listen to them. Yuck to THEIR FACES!
  • mshull
    mshull Posts: 48
    You look awesome! Don't let them rain on your parade.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Wow...I'm shocked and appalled at what some people feel they have the right to say. You look healthy, fit, and trim!

    Stand up to them. Tell them to f*** off, that you look great, and it's none of their business. And then don't make it their business any longer. Stick to talking about your journey with those who are supportive of you.
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,660 Member
    You look great, just right, not too thin. Maybe your parents are getting too used to the way Americans look in their neck of the woods.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    No, they're wrong. You look great.
  • IHateThinkingOfAUsername
    IHateThinkingOfAUsername Posts: 568 Member
    It has probably already been said, but I don't think your reaction necessarily shows that you have image problems... I think regardless of how you feel about your body you'd still be upset and angry by their comments because they are supposed to be the people who love and support you unconditionally. I'd feel the same way. But don't let their unthoughtful comments beat you. You look amazing.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    read your OP not the thread.

    Your fam isn't used to that you're old now.

    No one's face is gonna look the same decade after decade. It was just filled up and plump and misleadingly young looking.
  • sabinekiwi
    sabinekiwi Posts: 23 Member
    You are an inspiration! You can't choose your family - but you CAN choose your friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The problem does not lie with you - it's with them.
  • Womona
    Womona Posts: 1,813 Member
    When women get older and lose a lot of weight, they CAN look drawn and gaunt in their face and neck. That makes us look older. We've all seen that lady. The nice collagen we had when we were teenagers disappears and even though we are the same weight as then, it shows differently. However this is not happening in your case!!!!! You look fantastic! Your face doesn't look too skinny at all! And your figure is awesome too! Maybe they got used to the softness that comes with 30 additional pounds.
  • PlumeriaToo
    PlumeriaToo Posts: 188 Member
    If you feel healthy, stick with it. Good nutrition, exercise -- what's to complain about. I've noticed that when people drop a lot of weight, it does show in the face as a bit drastic at first but eventually, the body remodels and all seems to become more in tune. Family will get used to it. Stick up for yourself. All the self-proclaimed "experts" in the family should not sway your confidence. Congratulations! :flowerforyou:
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Well you've gotten a lot of feedback but I just wanted to chime in and say you look perfect! :flowerforyou:
  • NyteMirage
    NyteMirage Posts: 315 Member
    I think you look beautiful. Your family obviously doesn't know what they're talking about. How can they bring you down like that when you've done such an amazing job! I love the after picture and think you look much better. Keep up the great job!
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
    That would hurt most people's feelings. You look amazing, don't let them get you down. Great dedication, it definitely paid off :wink:
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
    Wow! I think you look great! Maybe the camera when you Skype is at a weird angle because I think you look perfect! Family really has a way of crushing us, keep your chin up, they have no clue what they're talking about!:flowerforyou:
  • bellesouth18
    bellesouth18 Posts: 1,071 Member
    Yes, that would hurt my feelings, too. No, you're not too thin. Your face and body look wonderful. If you've been overweight for 20 years (more than half your life), the new you is going to take some getting used to by your family members. Just tell them your BMI is normal, you're happy with the changes, and you don't want to hear any more about it. It's your body and you're the one who lives there, not them.

    You've done an amazing job! :love:

    Edit: Send them some before and after pictures.
  • sugarchic64
    sugarchic64 Posts: 52
    you look amazing!!! good job be proud!!!
  • itsfatum
    itsfatum Posts: 113 Member
    You could use a bit more muscle, but that's about it.
    The hell is wrong with them. You look great!
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
    I'm sorry your family is not being supportive right now.

    I think you look great, not too skinny. You don't need to gain any weight back.
  • WorkingJedi
    WorkingJedi Posts: 10 Member
    You have done so well. Don't let anyone put you down. You are happy and they should be happy just for that reason. If they are not leave them to it. You're just right for your height.
  • millermkarate
    millermkarate Posts: 46 Member
    You look great! Congrats on all your hard work!!!

    Maybe seeing you in person or seeing the comparison pics will help...I agree it could be that skype is not the best way for them to see how truly healthy and HAPPY you look :)
  • nosebag1212
    nosebag1212 Posts: 621 Member
    your dad is a moron srs
  • eganita
    eganita Posts: 501 Member
    I cannot explain the comments from your family, as I think you look wonderful, fit and healthy!

    Perhaps since they were talking with you on Skype there was some weird angle or bad lighting that could be affecting their perspective? Or maybe they are simply so used to your starting look that it will just take them some time to adjust?
  • gmoneycole
    gmoneycole Posts: 813 Member
    So about a month ago I reached my goal. I am no longer "overweight" but now am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi weight range. I weigh exactly what I did when I was 17, only I am in much better shape because I am eating healthy, and exercise 3 - 5 times a week, mainly weights but also some regular cardio.

    I was skyping my family the other night, and my Dad (an ex-OIympic and professional wrestler, and a former college and professional football player, who almost completed a Ph. D in Physical Education, so he knows a lot about fitness and diet), said to me, "We have all been talking about your weight. You look awful. You are too thin. Your sister in law Kim agrees, you look bad. We think you need to gain 15 lbs." And I said, "I have only lost 30 total - that would mean putting on half my weight back." And my sister, nurse with a Ph. D in nursing and long time Professor of nursing and medicine at various universities chimed in and said, "yah, you look awful - especially YOUR FACE! EW!"

    That being said, when I was this weight the last time, back in the 1990's, I was doing 4 hours of ballet a week plus cheerleading and marching band, was in great shape, and at that time these same people said, "you need to quit ballet - you are too fat. They don't take short fat girls in ballets. You need to join the football team or find a Sumo Wrestling club." AT THE SAME WEIGHT I AM NOW, where they are saying "your face - EW!"

    Frankly I think I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been in. What should I make of what they said? I was sad, then mad, and now I realize that I obviously have some image issues, or what they say wouldn't hurt. Or would it? Would these things hurt other people's feelings too? What do y'all think - is my face so "EW"? Do I look worse than when I started? Here is a pic, me before on the left, last August, and me now on the right. And again, I am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi range, not on the low end at all.

    weightloss.png

    Sorry but I think your dad took a few too many blows to the head! I was a wrestler too and don't have his pedigree but I used to cut weight and was too skinny for sure so I know what eww looks like! Your face looks very pretty and not too thin and your body looks "normal" you don't look fat or too thin at all. I would go into maintenance if I were you and even put a little muscle mass (strength) on if you feel okay with that.
  • rodduz
    rodduz Posts: 251 Member
    Looking fine. Dad was probably overweight as a wrestler that's why he doesn't like skinny. Bet his nutrition knowledge is severely dated too. Sister is clearly jealous.

    The next stage for you now if I were your PT would be increasing a bit of muscle mass, a few lbs of fat may come with that as a result but that's fine. Strip it back down then but lift heavy to maintain muscle mass.
  • mommiejohnsonof6
    mommiejohnsonof6 Posts: 208 Member
    I dont know why when you lose weight someone always says something when I lost 20 pounds someone ask me how skinny are you trying to get .my weight was 190 and I am 5 feet 4 inches some people just have to talk .just love them and keep going on with your life.
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    I think you looks great! Sometimes family is just that...family. They do not want to help build you up but rather seen you down to make them feel better. My mom and my sister are the same way and I have let it get the better of me for wayyyy too long... Example..

    When I lost 100+lbs my Mom said "losing weight is the easy part - it's keeping it off that is difficult" and my sister didn't even achnowledge me.

    When I gained 80lbs back my Mom said "I know honey how hard you worked and how disappointing it must feel to gain the weight back" and she gave me "green coffee bean extract" for christmas. My sister now makes comments on "areas" I should work on.

    I love them both but I have now realized that it is my life and I can not let their comments dictate who I am. Keep doing you and don't worry about them.
  • LFDBabs
    LFDBabs Posts: 297 Member
    You are absolutely beautiful in both pictures. You're after picture is how I'd like to look eventually. Not to thin, but healthy and toned. Don't listen to them. Perhaps it's jealousy. If you are happy, nothing and no one else matters.
  • stennis
    stennis Posts: 34 Member
    You look awesome. Will you marry me? lol jk Sounds like your family is an educated bunch of fools. Me? An MBA educated old geezer.
  • samr73
    samr73 Posts: 440 Member
    You look wonderful - fit and healthy. You can't (and it sounds like you wouldn't anyway) cut family out of your life so it's a question of managing them.

    I've been told that my dad and all of my aunts think my body is looking good but that my face "has gone". Well, thanks for that loved ones!!

    Any comments now I smile sweetly and think of the next time I'm working out. My body, my choice. Hopefully the noise will die down and acceptance will reign.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    No one should ever tell anyone that their face is "EW!" I am so mad for you!! I would be so hurt by that. They should know better... right? You look great, don't worry about them. I hope you feel better.

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