If I Can't Actually Look Skinny, What's the Point?

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Replies

  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    From the OP's profile ....
    I have depression and BPD which often makes me hate...me...

    Of course, her labeling those physical rather than psychological disorders is as telling as her refusal here to take note of the body dysmorphia that is readily apparent in her posts.
  • spirytwynd
    spirytwynd Posts: 141 Member
    Be the best you can be. Be all you can be. We play life with the cards we are dealt. Be healthy, be happy, find fulfillment. Yes, easier said than done but start with RELAX! :-) Maybe your bone structure will not allow you to be as small as you think you want to be. Then again, some of those skinny gals may not like being quite so small. So many times we want what we don't have. It is OK to be you. As a matter of fact, you are the most qualified person to be you. Again, be all you can be. Be the best you that you can be. You are the only one who can do it. :-)
  • AtticWindow
    AtticWindow Posts: 295 Member

    Agreed. Let's put "pahabagbspbaeoyt" on a t-shirt.
    thanks for saying this. Also, you may have triggered my OCD to create acronyms with all the letters at the edge of a page.

    :flowerforyou:
  • amwbox
    amwbox Posts: 576 Member
    If it helps, the voluptuous woman with the hourglass figure is about 1000 times more attractive than the one who looks like a boy.

    Women looking like women...not a problem in the least.
  • thatonegirlwiththestuff
    thatonegirlwiththestuff Posts: 1,171 Member
    I'm picky as *kitten* about what I look like, but I can tell you that probably 80% of people (both men and women) will agree that the Kim K. picture is far more appealing than the first one. You have the lusted after hourglass shape. You WILL get leaner with diet tweaking and working out. Already you look great, but if your goal is to just be leaner, keep at it!
  • WisheeNY
    WisheeNY Posts: 72 Member
    I can't believe the body shaming of thin girls in this thread. Wow. I don't see why people think they need to tear a certain group down just to try to lift another one up.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    The body being "shamed" is the product of an eating disorder .. unhealthy and unacceptable.
  • AtticWindow
    AtticWindow Posts: 295 Member
    If it helps, the voluptuous woman with the hourglass figure is about 1000 times more attractive than the one who looks like a boy.

    Women looking like women...not a problem in the least.

    It does NOT help. That is a prickish thing to say. I hope it was a fluke and that you are not really a prick. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    THOSE

    "THIS is hotter than THIS"

    pictures

    are

    HARMFUL

    ALL

    bodies

    are

    GOOD

    bodies.

    STOP

    pitting

    bodies

    against

    each

    other

    you

    toolbags.

    FOR THE WIN.

    Agreed. Let's put "pahabagbspbaeoyt" on a t-shirt.
    thanks for saying this. Also, you may have triggered my OCD to create acronyms with all the letters at the edge of a page.

    I agree with all the above

    kim kardashian looks beautiful in that pic the OP posted... people don't need to say bad things about other women to be able to recognise that kk looks beautiful. trying to big up one type by putting another down a) isn't necessary and b) no-one benefits.

    we need to rise above putting one person down to big up another.... let's find ways to appreciate all body types and recognise different varieties of beautiful all at the same time....
  • RonnieLodge
    RonnieLodge Posts: 665 Member
    I know, I know, I should be eating better and exercising to be healthy, not to look skinny. But I'm not and I am losing motivation because I don't think the body I want is even physically possible.

    See, I want to look like this: http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma3orjQiwb1rg2g7yo1_500.jpg
    However, my hips are crazy high, crazy wide and so is my rib cage. I'm just....wide. And I'm feeling like the best I'll ever be able to do is something along the lines of this: http://ca.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20131120/rs_634x1024-131220074836-634.Kim-Kardashian-White-Bikini-Beach-Body.jl.122013.jpg

    I am completely discouraged and feel like I'm just never going to look good enough. I've even considered leaving my boyfriend because I know he finds those really skinny girls attractive (as do I) and I know I'll never be one because my body is...well, you can see in my profile picture. Wide as ****. From the side, I look thin, but head on....ick.

    I'm basically asking for some motivation/tips to maybe possibly trim down my enormous sides? Is there anything I can do, or should I just turn sideways every time someone looks at me (lol)? I've started swimming again which, in the past, has trimmed me down nicely, though I still look huge... Pleeeease help?

    Go and hang out with some people in their 60s - 90s.

    Spending time with my 89yr old grandmother - who had a very active life up until her 60s - always drives home the point for me - which is to stay fit and able as long as I possibly can.
    That will improve my quality of life in old age and up my chances of staying in my own home forever instead of being put in one, or having to have other people care for me.

    As for leaving your boyfriend due to feeling like you don't look good enough - please read Mama Gena's Guide to Womanly Arts or check out Gala Darlings' website. Being good enough is 100% mental. Don't let body insecurity ruin what could be a perfectly good relationship.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    The body being "shamed" is the product of an eating disorder .. unhealthy and unacceptable.

    shaming people doesn't cure them of eating disorders, nor does it make people with eating disorders go and get help. Just like the tool bag at the beginning of the thread said he tells fat people they look disgusting... this doesn't make obese people want to lose weight, it makes them want to give up in despair.

    shaming, generally, is extremely counterproductive in terms of enabling people to make positive changes... it does the opposite.

    When people can learn to love and respect themselves for who they are, that's when they can find the inner strength to do what needs to be done (if anything) to improve their health.
  • Jarahal
    Jarahal Posts: 36 Member
    Rabble rabble rabble
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    People need to stop body shaming. It's not cool.

    OP - I have a curvy shape, too. I used to hate it, especially when all my friends were in a size 2. I still have my moments, but with age comes a little wisdom. Some things I've learned that helped me learn to accept my hip size.

    Learn to love yourself for you.

    Find things outside of weight and appearance that make you feel valuable.

    Resist the urge to think anyone has a perfect life because NO ONE has it all together.

    Find things outside of weight and appearance that make you feel valuable.

    Lift weights to tone the curves in the right place.

    Find things outside of weight and appearance that make you feel valuable.

    If your boyfriend makes a lot of comments about other women and their appearance and it bothers you, speak up and try to work it out so you are comfortable.

    Oh....and....

    Find things outside of weight and appearance that make you feel valuable.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Most men (men, mature men, not immature boys) like curvy women.

    Oh what a load of shight. Women say this kind of crap to put down other women... but ya know what? I bet theres a good portion of the "Mature men" population that love chubby girls. And another portion that love fat girls. And another portion that love railthin girls. And another portion that don't care and like all types.

    Quit saying stupid feel-good crap about "REAL MEN". You aren't a man, and your expert opinion isnt needed to accurate.

    What you are saying is like saying all women are emotional wrecks when they are on their period. Not true for all, or even most women, just like all "real" men dont like super skinny girls.

    For the record, I find curvy women much more attractive than skinny women, but my brother prefers very large women, and my other brother prefers super skinny women. Different strokes, so quit pretending you know what all men like.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    The body being "shamed" is the product of an eating disorder .. unhealthy and unacceptable.

    shaming people doesn't cure them of eating disorders, nor does it make people with eating disorders go and get help. Just like the tool bag at the beginning of the thread said he tells fat people they look disgusting... this doesn't make obese people want to lose weight, it makes them want to give up in despair.

    shaming, generally, is extremely counterproductive in terms of enabling people to make positive changes... it does the opposite.

    When people can learn to love and respect themselves for who they are, that's when they can find the inner strength to do what needs to be done (if anything) to improve their health.

    Saying that an unhealthy body is just fine does nothing to help either. It reinforces bad behaviors. Heaven forbid that anyone ever mention that people on either end of the ED spectrum are doing something wrong and that their bodies are not o.k.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    not feeding into this...there are other places you can troll for complements

    I am with you there......

    I wasn't looking for compliments. If you aren't going to be of any help (such as recommending side-slimming exercises as I'd asked for - not to be confused with half-hearted, meaningless compliments), then don't bother commenting at all. Some of us come here for motivation and support (odd, I know...it's not as if the title of the message board suggests that whatsoever), not to be berated by pompous elitists.

    To those of who you actually HAVE tried to help, thanks, I appreciate it a lot. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's looked in a mirror and hated the reflection every day. Pretty sure that's why most of us are even here. It's also pretty apparent that I'm not the only one who sees themselves in supposedly a bad light (figuratively, not literally). As for Kim K, sorry but I really don't find her body attractive whatsoever and I'd hate to end up with one similar. But...stop comparing, you say. So I shall. Also on the hunt for some free weights :) Thanks, whoever suggested that.

    What you're asking for doesn't exist. There aren't any side slimming exercises.

    My advice is work on positive self-talk. Don't focus on things you'll never have-- focus on things that are awesome about your body shape. I've got a big rib cage and it used to bother me a lot. But I've worked a lot on noticing and feeling good about my shoulders/arms, and the fact that I've got a hint of abs coming in.

    Some things about your body can be changed. Others can't. Don't make yourself crazy trying to change the latter.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    In to hear more about how men don't find me attractive because I'm not curvy. :frown:

    i'm ALWAYS in for this^^
  • cad39too
    cad39too Posts: 874 Member
    The first pic is of a girl lying down photographed from the side...how can you tell whether she doesn't have wide hips and wide ribcage?

    Edited after re-read of op post.
  • SymphonynSonata
    SymphonynSonata Posts: 533 Member
    In
  • chiqey
    chiqey Posts: 13
    Just read your profile ... you say you await the day your boyfriend says you're beautiful? ? WTF! ! Get rid of him! If he doesn't tell you you're beautiful now he probably never will - cos you ARE. And work on yourself so you KNOW it and don't need to be told. Good luck
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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  • llama_sammich
    llama_sammich Posts: 124
    Yeah, I'm not fond of body shaming either... All I said was that I personally do not find Kim K's body attractive and do not want mine to be like that (as it seems to be, imo). I don't think that's any more wrong than saying I am not attracted to red hair so I don't want mine to be red... It's a matter of opinion. I honestly don't see her appeal...

    Thanks for letting me know there was no such thing as side-slimming exercises (I'm ignoring the snarky undertones to some of these posts). I was unaware. I do not go to the gym or have a personal trainer so I know virtually d**k all about fitness. I swim...that is it. So thanks for the advice, folks.
  • llama_sammich
    llama_sammich Posts: 124
    Just read your profile ... you say you await the day your boyfriend says you're beautiful? ? WTF! ! Get rid of him! If he doesn't tell you you're beautiful now he probably never will - cos you ARE. And work on yourself so you KNOW it and don't need to be told. Good luck

    He's just that kind of guy.. I've accepted it.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Yeah, I'm not fond of body shaming either... All I said was that I personally do not find Kim K's body attractive and do not want mine to be like that (as it seems to be, imo). I don't think that's any more wrong than saying I am not attracted to red hair so I don't want mine to be red... It's a matter of opinion. I honestly don't see her appeal...

    Thanks for letting me know there was no such thing as side-slimming exercises (I'm ignoring the snarky undertones to some of these posts). I was unaware. I do not go to the gym or have a personal trainer so I know virtually d**k all about fitness. I swim...that is it. So thanks for the advice, folks.

    What you said was fine (unless I missed a comment somewhere). The body shaming comments were other posters. There's a difference between saying "that's not my preference" and saying "she looks like a boy," "she looks like *kitten*," or "no man is attracted to that."
  • stephe1987
    stephe1987 Posts: 406 Member
    I think a more reasonable goal would be to lower your body fat percentage. If you want to look slimmer, that's how it's done. A lot of women store fat on their hips, so lowering your body fat percentage will help with this. Lose body fat and fat will come off your sides. You can't target certain areas, your body chooses which order the fat comes off.

    I think that is what must be unappealing to you about Kim K: she isn't "toned"/still has some extra body fat on her frame.

    What is your frame size? You can take your wrist measurement and/or measure between the two prominent bones on either side of your elbow. This could give you an idea of a realistic goal to set for yourself after you've lowered your body fat percentage.

    The thing is, most models we see in pictures have small frames. This is why they are so tall and weigh so little. Some of them are naturally skinny and the rest follow strict diet and exercise to maintain their ideal figure. I'm assuming that the average person has a medium frame.
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