I hate myself.

Sent you a friend request - let this community build you up and remember, its all one day at a time. Every little decision adds up so, when you make a bad decision, compensate by making a good one the next time around.

OP, you need to work on your mental game every bit as much as you need to work on your physical game, if not more. Learn to be kind to you in ways that do not indulge yourself in self-loathing and self-pity. Find an active hobby. You need not, heck, "should" not go out and try P90x or any of the other intense cardio programs out there. Instead, get out and simply go for a walk. Also, learn to cook healthy meals and portion control. Finally, work on learning to be positive in your self talk.

Try not to think of it as a "diet" but instead a life-style change. We've all had times like that, that is why we are here, but keep working at it and you will get it.

Surround yourself with positive people and keep reminding yourself that you are working toward confidence and health.

Your support system begins with you. And you sound pretty great.

This is so well, said!

I hate going out in public because I feel like I'm being judged by everyone.

Do this quiz first and then come back and say what it gives you.

http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

any day now OP. You still there?

That's pretty condescending. This isn't about a lack of knowledge. This is about an individual expressing emotional despair and needing support. If she wants advice on the how, she knows how to ask. Try to be more sensitive to the heart of the message.

Actually, I think she's being really helpful.
Did I miss something where she expressed that she (OP) is knowledgable about nutrition and calories required to lose weight?
Maybe she is feeling like she will fail because she has set an unrealistic deficit for herself. If that's the case, pointing her in the right direction is much more helpful than patting her hand and saying, "now, now dear"

Do this quiz first and then come back and say what it gives you.

http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

any day now OP. You still there?

That's pretty condescending. This isn't about a lack of knowledge. This is about an individual expressing emotional despair and needing support. If she wants advice on the how, she knows how to ask. Try to be more sensitive to the heart of the message.

I don't know, when I read the OP my first thought was why does she think she failed? A lot of the times it's because people put crazy restrictions on the calories they should intake or the foods they are eating. Even her followup indicates "bad" food and good food. I'm wondering if she is placing unrealistic expectations on herself, essentially setting herself up for failure. IMO, if she is doing this, helping her realize that is as helpful as offering the moral support others have.

It really is all about one day at a time. Making a change in your life can never be about standing at the beginning and looking at the goal. Just tell yourself it's all about the first step. If you can just take that first step, you've really accomplished something, every time. "One step, and then the next gets you where you're going." Even if you take a step backwards now and then, if you look behind you, you'll see all the steps you took to get you where you are already, and you can use those accomplishments to strengthen yourself to take that step again.
Now that you're here, look around you. You should see other footsteps alongside your path. Those are our footsteps as we walk along with you. Just remember that you never journey alone. When you start to feel like you are alone, reach out to us as we walk alongside you, and we will support you. That's what this journey is all about.

I hated myself also. I went on a beach trip with hubby and two adult children. They were all a pain and I felt like a referee the whole trip. I had gained weight and was miserable. I couldn't stand any of them, the way they were acting. Hubby who is usually good was grouchy also. I thought right then well I might not ever like any of them but I can certainly like myself so I went on to work on me and Yes, Now I like myself! Log those calories, the weight will come off,you can do it!

Thanks, everyone. I woke up feeling a bit better today. Really looking forward to this afternoon. We're going to get rid of the junk in the kitchen then go shopping to get good stuff. We're going to focus on veggies, fruit, beans, whole grains and lean meats.

My husband is disappointed that I don't want to keep the junk on hand anymore but I told him its too easy to grab when I get hungry while feeding the baby. I believe my 2-year-old will adjust just fine. Fruit is her favorite food group and she eats most veggies including raw baby spinach.

I'm doing better eating today, too. Still some bad choices but I made some good ones also. And even when I did make the bad choices today at least I had some self control and didn't go overboard. I'm calling it success so far.

I didn't read this before responding, but let me add that you don't have to make a full 180 overnight. If you can't moderate or portion control the "junk" then fine, get rid of some of it, but many of us found success by moderating it rather than flat out refusing to satisfy our cravings. The real key here is portion control and you have to learn it at some point. 1 or 2 cookies didn't put you in your current position, for example, so don't think that you suddenly have to eat the "perfect" diet. Shoot for better rather than perfect.

+1

Congratulations on coming back today! I'm so glad you didn't give up. There is a LOT of great advice offered on these threads, even if it doesn't seem like good advice at first. The most successful people will change their mindset & viewpoints over time and see that even though at first it seemed like people on here might be being mean, they're actually just offering tough love which is generally much better than hand-patting and sugar-coating it.

I'm glad you were able to take your first step, getting rid of all that food must have felt like a huge step forward for you. But keep in mind that there are no "bad" foods, you can eat anything you want as long as you're able to eat it in moderation and maintain a calorie deficit. My advice to you is don't try to make a permanent change unless you think it is something that you can maintain for a lifetime (or at the very least for more than a month) If you don't think you can go the rest of your life without a chocolate chip cookie, then don't bother giving them up completely now.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

and this one too. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to tell their spouse what they "ought" to do in terms what he/she eats. That's not a lack of a support. That's choice.

OP said her hubby was disappointed she did not want junk food around. I know if I started losing weight I would appreciate my spouse putting his junk food out of sight, I would do that for him also. I think this is being supportive. I would not drink around an alcoholic when they first got sober. I needed extra help in the beginning. I had to learn to take care of myself for a change Instead of everyone else. It is easy for Moms to lookout for everyone else and not ask for what they need.

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to tell their spouse what they "ought" to do in terms what he/she eats. That's not a lack of a support. That's choice.

OP said her hubby was disappointed she did not want junk food around. I know if I started losing weight I would appreciate my spouse putting his junk food out of sight, I would do that for him also. I think this is being supportive. I would not drink around an alcoholic when they first got sober. I needed extra help in the beginning. I had to learn to take care of myself for a change Instead of everyone else. It is easy for Moms to lookout for everyone else and not ask for what they need.

OP has enough challenges to tackle lets not put on her agenda changing her entire family as well. She can make the changes she needs without putting demands on or starting war with ppl in her home. Once she sees how much she is entitled too cals wise it might now make sense to throw out all the things in the world that came in a package.

Agreed. She would be better spent focusing her efforts internally than requiring everyone else to do what she wants in the name of "support."

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to tell their spouse what they "ought" to do in terms what he/she eats. That's not a lack of a support. That's choice.

OP said her hubby was disappointed she did not want junk food around. I know if I started losing weight I would appreciate my spouse putting his junk food out of sight, I would do that for him also. I think this is being supportive. I would not drink around an alcoholic when they first got sober. I needed extra help in the beginning. I had to learn to take care of myself for a change Instead of everyone else. It is easy for Moms to lookout for everyone else and not ask for what they need.

OP has enough challenges to tackle lets not put on her agenda changing her entire family as well. She can make the changes she needs without putting demands on or starting war with ppl in her home. Once she sees how much she is entitled too cals wise it might now make sense to throw out all the things in the world that came in a package.

Agreed. She would be better spent focusing her efforts internally than requiring everyone else to do what she wants in the name of "support."

If I'm the type of person to eat every last cookie till they are gone (I am), I too might consider asking a roommate to please enjoy their treats outside of the house, or lock them away somehow. I won't always need this crutch but why not leverage it to success while I can?