Fat people in the gym

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  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Love them fatties.
  • BRA_S
    BRA_S Posts: 111 Member
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    Love them fatties.

    :blushing:
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    fat people do not need your approval

    people who think they need a pat on the back because they approve of fat people ( mostly only when they are actively trying to become like them fit, thin & acceptable though) need to take 1000 seats
  • tators19
    tators19 Posts: 18 Member
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    Thank you!!1 Very well said

    But if I do fall or something, feel free to laugh. :flowerforyou:

    Or if I fart while doing incline crunches. It's happened before...

    Try holding them in on an elliptical. It will be the worst day of your life.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    I workout in the wee hours of the morning so I can avoid any attempts at socialization.

    Hell is other people. Then again, I'm an introvert, and other people exhaust me.
    oh so very THIS.
  • BRA_S
    BRA_S Posts: 111 Member
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    The only reason I started talking to people in my gym is so that if I collapse someone will help me. True story.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
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    There are no fat people working out in the gym. There are only buff and pre-buff people working out in the gym.
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    There are no fat people working out in the gym. There are only buff and pre-buff people working out in the gym.

    Or pending buff. I think that's how I'm going to refer to myself now.
  • Macstraw
    Macstraw Posts: 896 Member
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    I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

    In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

    I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..

    It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.

    There's a balance to be found here. Just treat people as people and if you see someone who may need help, or who looks down, don't be too afraid to walk up and offer it or flash a smile and share a compliment. It costs you nothing, and you just may make a friend. I know so many people on here encourage ignoring everyone around you at the gym, but it's not necessary. Yes, focus on you and your workout, but don't be afraid to be social. It makes working in on a cherished piece of equipment (squat rack) or getting a spot when you need it so much easier.

    Yes. I think there's a big difference between smiling at people at the gym (big AND small) and general friendliness (which I think is awesome) and cheering on fat people because they're Fat People in the Gym.

    Well said. I do my work in the pool at the gym & I will mention to people (no matter their size because that really has nothing to do with it) when I notice their improvements & when I see them have a particularly good day. I don't dwell on it - just a quick "You had a fast day today" or "I can see a big difference in (insert aspect of their stroke they've been working on here)" & that's all. The response I get is a smile & a "Thanks". If they ask questions I'm more than happy to help if I can, but I don't offer unsolicited advice.....
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
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    Thanks....I guess...
  • fuzilojak
    fuzilojak Posts: 269 Member
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    It's funny, when people actually do that to me it's extremely awkward and kind of insulting. A few of them talk to me like I'm a child which I automatically take as sarcasm even if it's not usually intended.

    They don't know I actually do know what I'm doing and they don't know I played football, wrestled and was on the weight lifting team in high school. They don't know I stopped trying to bulk up for football and lost 140lbs and kept it off for year. They don't know when I did gain some of the weight back, years later, I took up cycling. I cycled 35-40 miles a day, 6-7 days a week while going to the gym for two hours a day, five days a week. I was in the best shape of my life and was hit by a car while on a ride. I continued eating a high caloric diet but stopped cycling and eventually stopped going to the gym too. It let this happen to me but I'm now owning it and turning things around.

    Being "normal" is how most "fat" people want to be treated so no matter how good the intention is, treat them like any other person in the gym.
  • PeteWhoLikesToRunAlot
    PeteWhoLikesToRunAlot Posts: 596 Member
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    Specifically encouraging someone based on "fatness" isn't really cool imo. But I'm a quiet guy most of the time, especially in the gym. My mantra is not to go out of my way to talk to anyone. Fat or thin. I'm there to get my work in and get out. If I want to socialize I'll hit the bar down the street.
  • Sarah4fitness
    Sarah4fitness Posts: 437 Member
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    "I'm really inspired by how hard I've seen you working in the gym."

    I've said it before. I've said it to people who are fat, or fit, or who kicked my *kitten* in spin class. If it's taken as insulting or as condescending, that's not a reflection on me, or the statement, or the intent. It's a reflection only upon the mentality with which it was received.
  • lemonlionheart
    lemonlionheart Posts: 580 Member
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    I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

    In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

    I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..

    It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.

    So much this :)
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I'm pretty fat. If someone came up to me in the gym and basically congratulated me for being there, they would receive the full force of my blank faced WT-actual-F face. I would feel so incredibly patronised. Not all fat people are self conscious or in need of validation.
  • zaellany
    zaellany Posts: 57 Member
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    Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

    You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.

    Thank you so much for saying this. I am one of the "fat people in the gym" and I can whip some a** in there, believe it - male or female, people have trouble keeping up with me. I have had people come up to me in the gym with a sticky-sweet smile on their face - usually it's older ladies - and say something "encouraging" to me, and I can tell when they do it they just feel SO GOOD about themselves for being nice to the fat girl. B****, I have been in here every Wednesday and Sunday for an hour for the last year - AND this is the first time I've seen YOU in here, so don't throw me some BS about "keep up the good work!" I AM KEEPING UP THE GOOD WORK. It may not show in my size, but I am keeping it up. My weight loss is slow. I am working on it every day. Just because I don't fit someone's ideal of what a "gym rat" looks like, it does not mean I am not serious about my fitness - I am serious as cancer. I am dedicated. And I don't need anyone's pity or condescension masked as "encouragement." Because you know what? In addition to kicking a** in the gym, I have a master's degree, my income is well over six figures, I have an awesome marriage and great friends and a smart, healthy, happy son I am unbelievably proud of. My life is just fine, thankyouverymuch. So take your "encouragement" and shove it. If you want to do something for me? Leave me alone. I'm not at the gym to make friends; I already have plenty of friends (BTW, if you're looking for me and my friends? We're the cool girls sitting at the best table in the the hottest restaurant, wearing the expensive shoes.) And if you REALLY want to help me out? Wipe off the damn machine when you're done with it. My high-paying, prestigious job is demanding, and I don't have time to take sick leave because I pick something up from the snot and sweat you left on the handles.

    Now. Someone get me a guest spot on "Louie."
  • withabandon
    withabandon Posts: 168 Member
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    I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

    In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

    I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..

    It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.

    I like your words.

    When that "letter to the fatty on the track" came out, my sister, who was naturally thin most of her life but has recently gained an emotionally manipulative relationship and about 50lbs, posted it all over about how inspirational it is. I am someone who has ALWAYS been fat, from the time I was little. I grew up riding horses, skiing, figure skating. I trained for and completed a 5K at 260lbs. I walk 5K+ just about every single day. I spent TONS of time in the gym and because people notice me on the street, have made comments, I have been BURNT by someone's cigarette as I passed by for no other reason than I was fat and in the public eye, the LAST thing I want you to do is comment on my presence in the gym, or even notice me, or worst of all, write some stupid open anonymous letter on the internet so you can pat yourself on the back for being a good person.

    UNLESS you see me and think "she looks like a pretty rad chick (I am) and I'd like to get to know her as a person or have her as a gym buddy or whatever". I am totally open to new friendships. I am not open to people making assumptions about my health of level of fitness based on my appearance.
  • ashleyisgreat
    ashleyisgreat Posts: 586 Member
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    I wouldn't be offended if someone said "Hey, you kicked *kitten* today." But if they said "Hey, good for you for being here," I would probably tell them to go to hell (okay, maybe not actually...but I would think it). That would be extraordinarily condescending. I'm not a child for you to pat on the back in order to make yourself feel like a good person.
  • Imcreatingmyself
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    There are no fat people working out in the gym. There are only buff and pre-buff people working out in the gym.

    Or pending buff. I think that's how I'm going to refer to myself now.
    Love it! My buff status is "pending."
  • spicegeek
    spicegeek Posts: 325 Member
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    I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

    In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

    Don`t - seriously - I`m a "larger person" - I run ."jog" .. whatever 3 miles 3 times a week - this is on top of boxing for an hour a week - general lifting 2 days a week and hard .. very hard .. training for competitive kettle bell lifting 3 times a week - I`m not "making an effort" I am getting the cardio potion of an intense training program in that will - if all goes well - see me competing in the world championships in Nov - please don`t assume that just because someone is "larger" they are in worse shape that you - to they are are somehow struggling or need a pat not he head