195 pounds in two years! What a difference! With pics.

jeansuza
jeansuza Posts: 148 Member
in Success Stories
dvssr5.gif

For the third day in a row, I saw this number on the scale, 135! So I guess this is it. Today, May 16, 2014, I must make it official. My two-year quest has landed. My goal was to lose 195 pounds and it is done. For those who are just starting and those who are stalling, and for the ones that have tried every diet in the world but don’t believe they can do it, there’s hope! Yes, it is doable…
Just dieting and exercising.
And persevering.
And trying out things.
And going on,
and on.
And reading.
And observing.
And writing.
And sharing.
And listening.
And encouraging others.
And loving.

ll9qt.gif

You would think I would be ecstatic to have reached my goal. This how I had figured out that day anyway but I was not. I was proud of course but very sad because my body is not looking the way I thought it would, or should or could. Should I lose 5 pounds more? Would that loss fill the hole in my heart? Where is the stop line? There is a beast in me that is called low self-esteem and it is still very hungry, famished and ugly. Appeasing that monster was one of the goals that I had set up on my MFP profile on May 6, 2012, and it hasn’t been achieved yet. So I was sad…

But I was first and foremost scared to death that I have to change something I feel familiar with, losing weight. Maintaining, I have never done before, not even tried. I have always been obese except for 2-3 short periods of my life when I was probably “just” overweight. I say probably because I spent years not looking at myself, avoiding mirrors and scales. And I am still a BIG girl in my mind. At 52, can I really change my behaviors and attitudes? Probably so, to some extent. Some of the changes have been underway since 2 years. For the rest, I will just try to do what I did when I started this journey: I will aim for small steps, and forgiveness, and enjoy a healthy life, one day at a time, one day after the other…

Very suddenly, today, I felt like if I were flying solo, leaving home for the first time, free in the BIG adult world. Like when I got off the bus a very long time ago, at 6 o’clock, in a BIG new town, with a huge handbag on one side and my horn on the other. But I am a big girl now (well, not so BIG, pardon the pun), and I know I am ready for a new and beautiful life tailored just as I want it to be. I am the master of my destiny. I just need to time to adjust...not being BIG… anymore…

2uepsgh.jpg

Anyway, borrowed from a friend, there is a part of my lifetime maintenance diet:

From now on, I refrain from:

Negative thoughts
Critical or gloomy people
Whatever stops my smiling
Whatever keeps me from sleeping at night
Whatever darkens my mood
Whatever undermines my self-confidence and causes me anxiety
Whatever throws a spanner in the works!

In 5 weeks, if all days are the same
I will have lost 10 pounds in discomfort and illness.
I will have gained 10 pounds in quality of life and happiness.

And remember: If “A” plan fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet!

Thanks to all my dear MFP friends for your support day after day! Without you, I don’t know if I would have succeeded! The journey was so much more interesting and inspiring with you. I drink to your health and happiness. Santé!
«134567

Replies

  • FancyPantsFran
    FancyPantsFran Posts: 3,687 Member
    AMAZING!!! You have worked so hard and have so much to be proud of
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Congratulations! Stick around for support with maintenance. Learning to maintain a healthy weight is very important, and we are always works in progress.
  • conniedj
    conniedj Posts: 470 Member
    Congratulations!!

    I think it pretty normal to feel a little lost when you have struggled against something for so long. When you FINALLY achieve that goal that seemed almost un-atainable...you kind of flounder. It takes some time to "cycle down" from what you've been doing--and you have been very successful!! This is a great time to set a new goal(s).

    For me, when I find that I am stuck in my head, and the world seems small....I push my focus beyond myself. I volunteer, reach out and help those who need some help: church, YMCA, friends, community food banks. There is a lot of need out there! And when you see that the struggles of other people just to survive? It changes you--in a good way! But that is just me. HTH!!! Congrats again!!
  • merisaOct3
    merisaOct3 Posts: 197 Member
    Congratulations! You really stuck with it consistently and you deserve big kudos for your hard work!

    I thought this might be of interest: Kelly Coffey is now a personal trainer. She used to weigh 300+ lbs. I loosely follow her blog (www.strongcoffey.com). She wrote an article called "5 Things I Miss about Weighing 300 lbs." One of my favorite quotes from the article is: "The longer I’m thin, the more in love I fall with the fat body I once had, and with the woman I was before I lost my weight. I’m the luckiest person I know, in large part because my personality and perspective were developed in the context of being a fat woman."
    You can read the whole article here: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13018/5-things-i-miss-about-weighing-more-than-300-pounds.html . She has one of the healthiest, most honest perspectives on losing a big amount of weight, in my humble opinion.

    I just post this because - while you deserve lots of credit and congratulations - (and I love your comments about reframing your perspective), MFP and society seems to emphasize greater self worth at a smaller size, which is counter to my personal beliefs about body positivity at any size.
  • madrose0715
    madrose0715 Posts: 463 Member
    Wow...I really enjoyed reading about your journey. Very honest about where you are at now - the emotional/mental struggle that still exists - even after reaching goal, is an insight that I think many who watch someone losing weight do not realize is going on.

    Here is to your continued success and personal growth! Congratulations!
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    I am so happy for you! You are an amazing woman and I am proud to know you on MFP! Congratulations for all of your hard work paying off and reaching your goal! A wonderful story of determination and perseverance!
  • jeansuza
    jeansuza Posts: 148 Member
    Thanks to all of you! This is a work still and forever in progress!
  • Michelle_Padgett13
    Michelle_Padgett13 Posts: 417 Member
    Oh my gosh how inspiring! You look fantastic.

    What you said about adjusting to not being a big girl anymore really resonated with me. I'm having some of those "identity crisis" feelings lately. Being fat was so much a part of my identity, so there seems like this big, odd hole where "being fat" used to be. Maybe it's just a matter of getting used to it, I don't know yet.

    Anyway, congratulations on all your hard work and dedication! You have a lot to be proud of. :drinker:
  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,795 Member
    WOW!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and challenges. You are inspiring . Welcome to your new life
  • kempt_ken
    kempt_ken Posts: 96 Member
    I love the way the your weight loss has opened up your face. You have such large pretty eyes. Congratulations.
  • wifeymou1112
    wifeymou1112 Posts: 129 Member
    Wow, you've done amazing! You look so happy :-D Well done! :-)
  • Mylolamia
    Mylolamia Posts: 88 Member
    Hi Suzanne. You are to be admired and emulated for what you have accomplished. 195 lbs. later over two years, such perseverence and determination, you finally did it. Way to go, my friend! You are now at maintenance as I am, I too still struggle with that fat woman wanting to rear her ugly head having lost overall 50 lbs., and lashing back at me saying "eat Diane, eat more". But knowing the struggle it has been day after day to lose the weight to reach this point, we can only take baby steps, one day at a time, continue trying this and that, and watching, always being conscious of our actions, and never backsliding. We now know the "right" way to proceed for ourselves and to use caution to not fall back into our old habits. We now 100% know that a sedentary lifestyle with too many of the wrong foods and no exercise will only negate everything we have accomplished. You are doing so well and I know you will continue. Be proud of who you are, all that you have achieved. All I can say is once again GOOD JOB, SUZANNE! Let's continue this Maintenance journey together. C'est à ton tour....
  • DebSM2
    DebSM2 Posts: 62 Member
    Absolutely amazing!! You have a very realistic outlook and strength...keep it up!
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
    Congratulations, what an amazing accomplishment! I think so often people think their life will magically become perfect when they lose weight, and don't recognize that along with the physical changes, mental change must happen too. Thank you for sharing your story.
  • weblur
    weblur Posts: 140 Member
    INSPIRATION!

    Edit to add: Seriously, I'm crying. The honesty in your post is what is so inspiring to me, because I know that it hasn't been and won't be all butterflies and roses in this journey. To have such an honest, realistic account is so helpful to me. Thank you so much.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    You look absolutely amazing, and thanks for sharing!
  • Guamybear
    Guamybear Posts: 1,061 Member
    Oh my! you look fantastic.. You have done an excellent job and you should be very proud of yourself..
  • cofty
    cofty Posts: 11
    Brilliant effort!
  • Pusarah
    Pusarah Posts: 124 Member
    Great job, you look fantastic and so happy! Congrats!! So inspirational!
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    Great job! It's funny, in the middle set of pics, it appears that the old you is looking at the new you with puzzlement. "Is that ME?!?!"
  • fastfoodietofitcutie
    fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
    Congrats, you look awesome and happy!
  • beverlywesterby
    beverlywesterby Posts: 59 Member
    Amazing job!! Such an inspiration :)
  • AtticWindow
    AtticWindow Posts: 295 Member
    This is such an incredible accomplishment!! Well done!!
  • laurabeth326
    laurabeth326 Posts: 124 Member
    That's fantastic, you're an inspiration! Not just for weight loss but your general outlook. Great work
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    Congrats on your awesome loss. You did wonderful.
  • LisaC101
    LisaC101 Posts: 35 Member
    You look amazing!! Thank you for sharing, it's success stories like this that keep me going!!
  • cheripugh1
    cheripugh1 Posts: 357 Member
    dvssr5.gif

    For the third day in a row, I saw this number on the scale, 135! So I guess this is it. Today, May 16, 2014, I must make it official. My two-year quest has landed. My goal was to lose 195 pounds and it is done. For those who are just starting and those who are stalling, and for the ones that have tried every diet in the world but don’t believe they can do it, there’s hope! Yes, it is doable…
    Just dieting and exercising.
    And persevering.
    And trying out things.
    And going on,
    and on.
    And reading.
    And observing.
    And writing.
    And sharing.
    And listening.
    And encouraging others.
    And loving.

    ll9qt.gif

    You would think I would be ecstatic to have reached my goal. This how I had figured out that day anyway but I was not. I was proud of course but very sad because my body is not looking the way I thought it would, or should or could. Should I lose 5 pounds more? Would that loss fill the hole in my heart? Where is the stop line? There is a beast in me that is called low self-esteem and it is still very hungry, famished and ugly. Appeasing that monster was one of the goals that I had set up on my MFP profile on May 6, 2012, and it hasn’t been achieved yet. So I was sad…

    But I was first and foremost scared to death that I have to change something I feel familiar with, losing weight. Maintaining, I have never done before, not even tried. I have always been obese except for 2-3 short periods of my life when I was probably “just” overweight. I say probably because I spent years not looking at myself, avoiding mirrors and scales. And I am still a BIG girl in my mind. At 52, can I really change my behaviors and attitudes? Probably so, to some extent. Some of the changes have been underway since 2 years. For the rest, I will just try to do what I did when I started this journey: I will aim for small steps, and forgiveness, and enjoy a healthy life, one day at a time, one day after the other…

    Very suddenly, today, I felt like if I were flying solo, leaving home for the first time, free in the BIG adult world. Like when I got off the bus a very long time ago, at 6 o’clock, in a BIG new town, with a huge handbag on one side and my horn on the other. But I am a big girl now (well, not so BIG, pardon the pun), and I know I am ready for a new and beautiful life tailored just as I want it to be. I am the master of my destiny. I just need to time to adjust...not being BIG… anymore…

    2uepsgh.jpg

    Anyway, borrowed from a friend, there is a part of my lifetime maintenance diet:

    From now on, I refrain from:

    Negative thoughts
    Critical or gloomy people
    Whatever stops my smiling
    Whatever keeps me from sleeping at night
    Whatever darkens my mood
    Whatever undermines my self-confidence and causes me anxiety
    Whatever throws a spanner in the works!

    In 5 weeks, if all days are the same
    I will have lost 10 pounds in discomfort and illness.
    I will have gained 10 pounds in quality of life and happiness.

    And remember: If “A” plan fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet!

    Thanks to all my dear MFP friends for your support day after day! Without you, I don’t know if I would have succeeded! The journey was so much more interesting and inspiring with you. I drink to your health and happiness. Santé!

    You have inspired me and you brought tears to my eyes, I often wonder how I can fix the emotional part and will I have problems with how I will look then... your honest words helped me a lot... and I think you look beautiful, you made it and you will continue to succeed. Thank you for sharing...
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    fabulous!! amazing perspective, thank you so much for sharing. I think I might have to pilfer a few of these words of wise wise wisdom.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    Congratulations!!! Yes, it's important to lose the mental poundage, along with the physical, to break the cycle. Sounds like you have a fantastic game-plan.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Fantastic! I love your attitude, too!

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