Gym intimidation and strength training

agrafina · May 2014

I want to start weight lifting after reading Vismal's AMA thread, and seeing the constant recommendation on the forums to really focus on strength training. I've settled on the Strong Lifts 5x5 program to start with, which means getting a gym membership. I have to be honest, at 250 pounds, it really intimidates me, going and hanging out and working out in the same area as the body builder types. I have this irrational fear of I don't know what. Working out on cardio equipment is easier at a gym, since it is all sort of self contained, but weight lifting seems different. More like I'd be this freak fat outsider woman who doesn't belong and who should just leave and not spoil their body building environment with my fat weakness. How do I get over this? Tell me it won't be this bad? I haven't felt this much anxiety over something so minor since for a long time, and it is very distressing. I'm annoyed that I'm even bothered by this.

How long did it take others to get comfortable at the gym, or a new environment where they felt intimidated to go?

tinkbaby101 · May 2014

I've never walked into a gym and seen a group of meat heads huddled over the weights, snarling at others. I'm sure they exist, but I'm guessing they're rarer than most of us imagine. When I did HIIT at a gym, I was worried over the same thing! It took about 2 weeks of going, before I realized that no matter what time I went, it was mostly filled with people like myself: trying to work off some pounds, get healthier, and glancing over shoulders to make sure nobody was staring.

It took a couple of weeks to get comfortable. Once I was, though, I started seeing familiar faces, and others who had been going longer would give tips for lifting correctly, or how to make an exercise more effective. It was just going the first few times that was a problem! Seriously, though, I never met one single judgmental person, no matter the state of their physique.

Hammybone · May 2014

You get over it by going and doing it.
You'll have every right to use equipment that you will be paying the gym to have access to.
If you can afford it, you might also look into meeting with a trainer who can give you a tour of the the area and critique your form.

thepetiterunner · May 2014

I totally get this. I'm a small framed person so I always felt like the "weenie" little girl trying to work out with all these muscled-jock-meathead types.

Honestly, one of the best things you can do is take the free lesson with a personal trainer that they usually always offer when you sign up for a gym (or if you can swing it financially, hire a trainer for a couple of months) so you can feel confident that you're there working out, doing things correctly and you can sort of settle into the environment.

And just wear clothes you're comfortable in, put on some music and tune everything else out. You're paying to use that equipment and you've every right to use it as you want to. Also, people don't pay attention to you nearly as much as you think. So just go about your business, get on to the road to sexy pants and have a good time

Hellbent_Heidi · May 2014

Its NOTgoing to be the way you imagine it at all. I go to an LAFitness, and yes, I have seen the 'meatheads' and the super fit girls in skimpier clothes, but there's a lot more 'normal' (and overweight) people who are there to lose, improve problem areas and learn new things.

If possible, try going in the morning....that's usually a pretty friendly crowd who is intersted in getting their workout done before heading to work, vs. the after work/evening group where its more crowded and you have more people waiting for the machines/weights. Pay for a session or two with a trainer if you can afford to....they will show you the right things to do, and then you can take it from there.

SuperC_85 · May 2014

Go get it!

Have a look at this thread below, trust me a lot of people will respect you for getting in there!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1195374-blog-piece-called-dear-new-girl-at-gym?hl=gym#posts-20035250

quellybelly · May 2014

Just go.

I was really intimidated by the guys in the weight section too. I think a lot of it came from thinking I'd look like a fool and look like I didn't know what I was doing and then feeling like I didn't belong. I was convinced that everyone would be thinking "what does this little girl think she's doing in our section of the gym?" What worked for me was going early in the mornings when there were less people around, and also going with someone. Eventually I gained more confidence i myself once I knew what I was doing, and you realize that everyone is focused on their own workout and not on you!

Good luck!

WandaMM1 · May 2014

There are always one or two jerks (male or female) but MOST will be supporting you. You get total credit for showing up and trying.

And, same as the others who commented, if they offer a free personal training session, take advantage of it. Having confidence that you know what you are doing and that you are doing it with good form (CRITICAL) will go a long way towards helping to build your comfort level.

agrafina · May 2014

Thanks everyone! I think I'm dwelling on it because I don't have enough to do at work and so I think of everything that could possibly go badly with what I want to do. Working out in the morning is a good idea. I already get up at 5 am, so it won't be that hard to adjust my mornings to working out before work on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the workweek. I also sometimes forget I have a right to things as well (a hangover from depression and low self-esteem that I'm still working on). Thank you for the much-needed reminder!

matuskap · May 2014

The only reason people might get frustrated by you is when you do something stupid, like curls in the only squat rack in the gym or sit on a bench for 20 minutes playing with phone when theres people who actually want to work out on that station. But you really have to take it to the extreme to piss people like that, and even then they [rpbably wont engage you anyway.

As for me, you could be dying from poisoning in agonizing pain while screaming like crazy and i wouldnt probably even notice. I find hardcore gyms most friendly places overall.
You get much more staring in a "planet fitness" type of gyms from all the insecure "im going to change my life from now on and fail immediately" people.

poedunk65 · May 2014

As long as you are polite, no one will say anything or bother you. In fact they love to give advise.

Everyone is there for the same reason to improve on each persons idea of what they want to achieve.

Go for it, you are welcome to friend me if you want, I will help if I can.

JoRocka · May 2014

educate yourself. practice form at home those two things will go a very long way into getting you comfortable with what you want.
Get a book/notebook/composition book- write down your work out ahead of time- draw stick figures if you can't remember (I have stick figures in my book and I've been lifting for years) totally normal.

bring a towel if you sweat a lot
bring a water bottle

go to the gym at off peak hours... so do not go and try to learn something new at 5 PM on a monday- you'll get over whelmed.

If you can go 24 hours- go when at 2 AM- no one is there- maybe 1 or 2 people.

I actually prefer a slight bustle to teh gym- to empty and you KNOW the only other 2 people in there are watching you- too busy and you cant' get crap done.

It takes me about 2-3 weeks to get comfortable with a new gym. For you I'd say give it a month or two. You start seeing the same faces and you give "the nod" of what's up without talking even though you don't know their names. It will happen- it just takes time. But educate yourself- be prepared- and go do what you need to do- and YES- people watch you. i'ts okay- it's normal to people watch- weight lifting has a different "flow" than the cardio and machine people.

Lift-
rest
people watch
lift
water
lift
bathroom
lift
face book

it's normal. and they aren't looking to judge- they are just looking because you are there adn they aren't lifting- but they don't care about you. I promise.

go forth
lift all the things
and be fabulous!

The_GingerBeard_Man · May 2014

It might help to have a workout buddy. They give you someone to talk to, and view your form. (Even if you are both novices, a set of eyes looking at you from the outside is invaluable.) The other nice thing about a lifting partner is you can motivate each other on days when you dont feel like going.

agrafina · May 2014

The only reason people might get frustrated by you is when you do something stupid, like curls in the only squat rack in the gym or sit on a bench for 20 minutes playing with phone when theres people who actually want to work out on that station. But you really have to take it to the extreme to piss people like that, and even then they [rpbably wont engage you anyway.

If I do that then I deserve whatever crankiness comes my way.

BurntCoffee · May 2014

I've not ventured into the weight machine section f the gym for the exact same reason. I have this mental block about it. I also fear that I am going to do one of the machines wrong. I need to get over myself because whether I go over there or not, it's not like those people pay my mortgage or anything. They sure as heck don't own the gym.

Now, if I can just feel that way when I'm actually there I'll be golden.

_lyndseybrooke_ · May 2014

I felt the same way. The treadmill feels "safe" for me, but it's torture. I wanted to lift, but I always felt so awkward being the only woman on that side of the gym. If my husband went with me, I felt better, but I could feel curious eyes on me all the time even if it was just my imagination. I'm at a healthy weight already, so that had nothing to do with it. It was just my own insecurities and made no sense, but I couldn't shake it. Luckily, I was able to purchase my own lifting equipment and now I work out at home. I hated everything about the gym to be honest. I feel much better at home, exercising with bare feet in my underwear and a baggy t-shirt. Can't do that in the gym.

I'm also glad that no one is around to see me on my last rep of OHP, because I probably look like an idiot.

It's easier said that done, but own it! I loved seeing women lifting free weights and admired them for being confident enough to be over there with all the dudes and clearly not feel self conscious.

harphy · May 2014

Once you overcome the fear of "guys section of the gym" you figure out it was empty all the time. Guys are actually preety cool and they show respect for any woman with the guts to just try lifting heavy. They might give you a look or two at the beginning but nobody is going to criticise you or shun you or even say it's not your businness there. Some people here suggested you put earphones on but I vote against it. From time to time communication is necessary especially if it is a small and crowded gym. You will have to agree on who will use what equipment and when. Now keep your head high and go there!

cmeiron · May 2014

I just started at a gym for the first time and it's awesome. It's a strength training gym specifically, so yes there are a lot of bodybuilders, but every time I go in I see all types of bodies - old, young, skinny, overweight, strong, weak - and everyone is respectful and nice. The biggest dude there today (as wide in the chest widthwise as lengthwise) very nicely saved my *kitten*, without me asking, after I pinned myself under a bar during a bench press

. Honestly, everyone is there to do their own thing and no one is judging (well, I suppose one or two might be but they're not worth the energy). Check a few places out and see if you can find one with a "vibe" you like - maybe a less conventional/commercial gym would be a better fit! Ask one of the trainers for a tour and some tips so you feel more confident about your program and the equipment, and enjoy! (Weight training is da bomb!):drinker:

HWeatherholt · May 2014

I have been doing NROLFW since February. When I started I was about 210. It took me a little while to get comfortable and I still try to go at not so busy times (but I want to get in and out) and will still pick the farthest bench away I can.

But it has gotten easier. I have met some other regulars and have conversations with them about thing other than working out/lifting.

NSV: In fact one of them, a really big, buff, firefighter asked me the othe other day why I kept tugging my shirt down, and after I told him, said he thought it was because I had caught him checking out my *kitten*!

MissFit0101 · May 2014

You get over it by going and doing it.
You'll have every right to use equipment that you will be paying the gym to have access to.
If you can afford it, you might also look into meeting with a trainer who can give you a tour of the the area and critique your form.

Exactly. The only way to get over it is to just go in and do it. I was terrified when I first joined a gym and started lifting weights there, but the only way I got comfortable with it was to just go do it anyways.

JTick · May 2014

Keep in mind that people watching is different than people judging. Yes, I look at people in the gym. Not in a creeper way, but in a "I'm between sets and kinda bored" way. I don't judge. I might notice if they're doing something cool (pull-ups...I can't do those yet) or something that intrigues me because I haven't tried that exercise. I'm sure they do the same to me. I was downright stared at one day by a couple of bodybuilders because I was squatting 190. Yes they stared, but not because I was doing anything wrong, but rather doing something very right.

Remember that everyone was new at one point. When I started lifting, I would research and learn one exercise before I went to the gym. I'd get my cardio out of the way, and then head over to the weight section, practice the one lift I had learned, and leave. The next time, I'd come prepared with an additional lift, and practice the new one plus the one I had learned last time. In just a week or two I had a good routine learned and was spending more time with the weights than on the cardio.

Gym intimidation and strength training

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