I am no longer my daughter's hero

Kids tend to change what and who they prefer pretty often. Tomorrow she could do a complete 180 and treat her dad like he is satan. If you continue to take this so hard you will create a wall between the two of you with the resentment you feel. Just keep taking care of her like you have been and it will equal out eventually.

My two-year-old spent most of the night wanting Daddy and has been all about him this morning. They came home from the park, she was told she had to wait 5 seconds for a strawberry to be washed, then she screamed her head off for about 15 min in anger and then avoided him for the next 20 min. Now he's ok again, apparently.

The reason I am telling you this is that there is an important take home message: Kids are crazy. Especially little kids who have no way of effectively communicating how they feel, what they want, and are in process of realizing that the world is a much bigger place than just Mommy and Daddy. Don't let it bother you. One day you'll be like me and be thrilled when your kids want to go bother someone else or just plain not be near you. I am so looking forward to the silent treatment, I plan on toasting them with a glass of wine when they announce they're not speaking to me anymore.

Thank you all for the advice, including those perched upon their horse of righteousness. Now here is what I find interesting. I posted the exact same post on a parenting counseling forum. You know what the overwhelming response was? Support. Not one mention of my need for validation, childishness, abandoning her for going back to work, my mental state, jealousy, or any negative connotation to my actual plea for help. By and large, there were many helpful people on here willing to give me sound advice. Thank you. For those that decided to become a part of a grand jury, that is okay. Your opinion is your opinion.

If you are seeking honest feedback, it might be wise to consider that some of it will hurt your feeling -- and that, if your actually are a person of character, you can accept that along with the "atta girl" comments.

The old saying: Familiarity breeds contempt. This is a toddler, for heaven's sake. Just wail until no one but you will do. Sounds like you are a new parent. Do right by your daughter--be her parent. Although you (and your husband) are the best friend(s) she'll ever have, DON"T act like a friend. Again, be her parent, and don't wallow in your doubt. No kid ever came with an owner's manual.

Thank you all for the advice, including those perched upon their horse of righteousness. Now here is what I find interesting. I posted the exact same post on a parenting counseling forum. You know what the overwhelming response was? Support. Not one mention of my need for validation, childishness, abandoning her for going back to work, my mental state, jealousy, or any negative connotation to my actual plea for help. By and large, there were many helpful people on here willing to give me sound advice. Thank you. For those that decided to become a part of a grand jury, that is okay. Your opinion is your opinion.

:yawn:

Don't worry! I have four children who are how young adults! Through out their lives there have been times when they have been closer to one of us over another! As others have said, the baby is use to you and is just excited over the new face! Take advantage of it and get some quiet time to yourself haha!

She's only little, it's a phase, it will pass :flowerforyou:

Take advantage of it and get some quiet time to yourself haha!

I agree!

Take advantage of it and get some quiet time to yourself haha!

I agree!

I'll agree to this, only because I also agree with the others that it simply a phase, and once she finishes this one you are going to wish you had some of that quiet time to yourself while others interact with her (just wait until she hits about 18-26 months)! Kids that age are seeking out new things and experiences, you are a "known" part of her life, she is in a phase where she craves more experiences and is trying out how to interact with different people - and learning that people all act in different ways her actions (I bet she also offers the same toy to different people and observes how they take it from her, or if they turn her down). If you want to share this with her, take her to a park, a hands-on museum or a playdate and let her explore with you.

I used to think that aliens replaced my daughter overnight sometimes - she would go to bed with one personality, and wake up with an entirely new set of expectations, demands, and ideas!

Cut the kid a break. She's 15 months old. They are like bumbling little drunks at this stage.

:laugh:

she's 15 months old. you can't assign adult emotions and motives to a 15 month old baby. they are too young to think those thoughts yet.

I am not assigning my daughter adult emotions. Toddlers at this age do feel love and attachment. I am not expecting her to bring me roses and color my name in the sidewalk with hearts. I am trying to get some input as to how I can either work on this or accept it. Do you have a child?

when we have children we have to go through our own maturational events, and one of them is jealousy. We return to the state of the 2 yr old, jealous of the other parent when they get this, or that.

But as time goes by a mother realises that it's all roundabouts and swings. They love daddy from 2 to 3 - and hate him and loev mummy from 3 - 4. then they hate mummy and love daddy from 4 - 5... and then they hate daddy and love mummy from 5 - 6...

it's never-ending. it's adorable. it's actually very entertaining. I remember trying to lure the daughter from daddy's side of the bed to mine. It's a fun challenge.

She loves daddy, has hopped in with him this sunday morning, they're lying there whispering about dolly and teddy and such... let's see if I can lure her away with talk of bunny and jemima and feeding the ducks and how much more wonderfuller I am at feeding ducks than daddy....

it's all how you're willing to see it, and it's all also a situation for you to learn trust. If you cannot trust your child to love you, you need to work on yourself because she does love you and she needs you and she has to trust you. no feelings of hard done by allowed: you did it to yourself and the child is not responsible for your emotional state.

I'll give you a father's perspective. My wife and I have a 4-year-old daughter. When our daughter was younger, she seemed to prefer me. When she was littler, I was home less often due to school and work schedules. When I was home, I usually had homework, studying, and household chores to catch up on, and was frequently stressed out trying to keep up with those and family demands. I eventually had to reevaluate my priorities in order to keep my sanity. My daughter started out seeming to prefer me and be a daddy's girl.

Eventually, she switched to favoring her mommy. It did hurt somewhat, but I kept reminding myself that depression, anxiety, and stress tend to cloud my mind. I cut out school to spend more time at home being with family because I didn't feel I could do both. Now, I generally work opposing shifts with my wife so we can minimize our daughter's time at the babysitter.

My wife and I have different ways of running the household, and our daughter does react to those differences. I'm a little more strict with rules and discipline, and tend to be a little more of a drill sergeant. My wife is less strict, and tends to coddle her. She takes me more seriously when I make her mind because I'm the meanie who makes her mad. She pushes Mommy as much as Mommy will allow because she knows she can get by with more. She has told me she loves Mommy more because I'm mean and make her mad when I make her mind. I know she's just mad at not getting her way because she still hangs close to me when it's just us at home. She usually does hang closer with Mommy when we're all home, but she does come to me when Mommy finally has had enough and makes her mind.

All in all, it goes back and forth. Kids constantly change their minds. I think you may be feeling more sensitive about this because of having to go to work. I'm betting it's a bit of guilt at no longer being there with your daughter as much as you once were.