475 lbs and terrified
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Hey! You'll be OK. Isn't it more terrifying to not care about helping yourself get healthier? I think you're pretty brave. And you're already on the right track by being here. Don't be afraid. It's time for you to shine! Like most people, you probably learned to speak one word at a time, and when you learned how to walk, you likely took only one step at a time. Perhaps looking at your goal this way would work for you. Instead of running a marathon, concentrate on moving forward a bit at a time, even if it's only a foot or two. For me, the thrill of each little "victory" is inspiration for me to keep going. I no longer look at how much I have to lose, I look at how far I've come. MFP is a great place for support; I've learned so much from fellow members. You will find what works for you. Get your head feeling happy, and your body will be grateful.
Oh, and remember to save Craigslist for when you're bored-- it's always good for a laugh! Most of the people who post in the forums are incredible idiots, which is why you can easily find livers and lungs for sale, but never any brains.0 -
Welcome and congrats on taking the first step,
Some brilliant advice above
Just want to say be kind to yourself, celebrate all your achievements and don't dwell on the bumps along the way. You deserve health and happiness
Best of luck
Xx0 -
What a wonderfully supportive thread...I have nothing to add but wanted to say welcome 0
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Bump to reply to when I am back to my laptop... OP nothing is impossible no matter how out of reach it may seem... Hang in there and I will be back to comment more soon...0
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As others have suggested - I'd suggest focusing on calories. Forcing yourself to cut a big swathe of food, drinks and setting a goal that may not be realistic is quite likely to be 'setting up for failure'."The reason that you are a fat ugly slob is that you keep stuffing your fat ugly face with carbohydrates! Cut ALL Sugars and Starches out of your diet, and you will start to lose body fat, on a daily basis. Just drink water. No cheat days, not ever.
......
I've been down this road more than once. I seem to always get started and then watch as things fall apart and as I fail to live up to my own expectations.
There's no need to avoid carbs for most people - just hitting a calorie goal regularly.
There's no need to just drink water - while I would generally avoid higher calorie drinks, there's plenety of flavoured drinks that are low in calories.
I have done BEST by not having 'cheat days' - though for me this still means often eating a fair bit in a deficit, but matching that to doing more exercise. However, I have also lost weight fine when I HAVE had cheat days. Or have every weekend eating maintenance or so (though that took longer).0 -
Baby steps, trying to do to much to quickly is an instant recipe for failure... You didn't get this way over night and you can't expect to get out of it quickly either... It is a life path you must be will to commit to and never consider it to be a diet or that there will ever be an end point. This is reality and it is the rest of your life so treat it as such. Anything that you do from this day forward, ask yourself is it something I can do long term. If you can't then it isn't worth doing... You don't have to drink just water, you don't have to cut out carbs, you don't have to make it harder than it needs to be... Break it down into the simplest of things that you can control, you wake up every morning and get out of bed so commit to today! Do everything that you can do to be as success for today as you can so that when you go to bed tonight you can rest easy cause you did just that. Refocus get a good nights sleep and commit to doing it again tomorrow... I was 560 pounds, unable to walk from room to room, had a computer rolling chair I would get around the house on to use the restroom and wheel myself from my recliner to the kitchen, was pretty much homebound from 2007-2009, and at the very end contemplated for 3 days committing suicide cause things just didn't look like it was worth living for... But on that third day, I made a choice, I was going to stop saying no and start saying yes. Anything that was asked of me I would do it, no matter how hard it was going to be, and I got to work..
You have to set a plan of action, whether that be a checklist of things you will accomplish (call it setting mini goals) and do this daily. Whether that be "I am going to drink 5 glasses of water, I am going to walk 50 ft. today, I am going to eat 3 main meals and 3 snacks, etc, etc.." and you get up that day and you start checking off those things on your list. Making sure that by the end of the day you have completed those tasks and then you write out the next days goals but this time you add to them. Instead of walking 50 ft. you will walk 60 ft. tomorrow... Baby steps but steps none the less, always striving to do better than you did the day before and never looking back, always moving forward.. Will you have bad days?? Most definitely but you take them in stride, as learning experiences and you chalk them up as such and refocus and get back to it.. You can have all the cheerleaders and supporter in the world backing you up, but until you are ready to commit to this lifestyle change 100% then you will fail. I know that is harsh but it is reality.
I can not stress the fact your head has to be in the game and you have alot of work ahead of you but each day that passes that you have been successful, they start to add up. Things start getting easier because you have laid a foundation that makes the path sturdy and easier to follow. But never think that there is ever an end game... You will be in this fight for the rest of your life so treat it as such. I lost the majority of my weight eating over 3000 calories a day and the larger majority of my macros came from carbs and I am a type 2 diabetic so don't think for a minute you can't be success eating carbs.. and don't label foods into groups of good vs. bad. Are there more nutritious foods than others? Most certainly are but that doesn't mean you can not have your cake and eat it too. The vast majority of my diet consist of Lean meats, a crap ton of veggies, and fruits and grains but it also include a bowl of ice cream every night, pizza on the weekends, and other things I may want to work into my meal plan that I want...
It is all about balance and once you learn that things will be alot easier.. I lost 312 lbs. over the course of 3 years and 3 months and am a month away from my 5 year anniversary. The time passes and adds up, it is hard to believe that 5 years have flown by but make no mistake I don't look at any of it in any other way than just living my life... That is it.. I still take each day as it comes, I still set mini goals to achieve each day and check them off as a complete them, I am still human and make mistakes have that occasional bad day but the good thing is tomorrow is a new day and I can start fresh... You just have to commit to the process and start walking the path...
Best of Luck to you on your Journey...
Ed0 -
this, all this!Baby steps, trying to do to much to quickly is an instant recipe for failure... You didn't get this way over night and you can't expect to get out of it quickly either... It is a life path you must be will to commit to and never consider it to be a diet or that there will ever be an end point. This is reality and it is the rest of your life so treat it as such. Anything that you do from this day forward, ask yourself is it something I can do long term. If you can't then it isn't worth doing... You don't have to drink just water, you don't have to cut out carbs, you don't have to make it harder than it needs to be... Break it down into the simplest of things that you can control, you wake up every morning and get out of bed so commit to today! Do everything that you can do to be as success for today as you can so that when you go to bed tonight you can rest easy cause you did just that. Refocus get a good nights sleep and commit to doing it again tomorrow... I was 560 pounds, unable to walk from room to room, had a computer rolling chair I would get around the house on to use the restroom and wheel myself from my recliner to the kitchen, was pretty much homebound from 2007-2009, and at the very end contemplated for 3 days committing suicide cause things just didn't look like it was worth living for... But on that third day, I made a choice, I was going to stop saying no and start saying yes. Anything that was asked of me I would do it, no matter how hard it was going to be, and I got to work..
You have to set a plan of action, whether that be a checklist of things you will accomplish (call it setting mini goals) and do this daily. Whether that be "I am going to drink 5 glasses of water, I am going to walk 50 ft. today, I am going to eat 3 main meals and 3 snacks, etc, etc.." and you get up that day and you start checking off those things on your list. Making sure that by the end of the day you have completed those tasks and then you write out the next days goals but this time you add to them. Instead of walking 50 ft. you will walk 60 ft. tomorrow... Baby steps but steps none the less, always striving to do better than you did the day before and never looking back, always moving forward.. Will you have bad days?? Most definitely but you take them in stride, as learning experiences and you chalk them up as such and refocus and get back to it.. You can have all the cheerleaders and supporter in the world backing you up, but until you are ready to commit to this lifestyle change 100% then you will fail. I know that is harsh but it is reality.
I can not stress the fact your head has to be in the game and you have alot of work ahead of you but each day that passes that you have been successful, they start to add up. Things start getting easier because you have laid a foundation that makes the path sturdy and easier to follow. But never think that there is ever an end game... You will be in this fight for the rest of your life so treat it as such. I lost the majority of my weight eating over 3000 calories a day and the larger majority of my macros came from carbs and I am a type 2 diabetic so don't think for a minute you can't be success eating carbs.. and don't label foods into groups of good vs. bad. Are there more nutritious foods than others? Most certainly are but that doesn't mean you can not have your cake and eat it too. The vast majority of my diet consist of Lean meats, a crap ton of veggies, and fruits and grains but it also include a bowl of ice cream every night, pizza on the weekends, and other things I may want to work into my meal plan that I want...
It is all about balance and once you learn that things will be alot easier.. I lost 312 lbs. over the course of 3 years and 3 months and am a month away from my 5 year anniversary. The time passes and adds up, it is hard to believe that 5 years have flown by but make no mistake I don't look at any of it in any other way than just living my life... That is it.. I still take each day as it comes, I still set mini goals to achieve each day and check them off as a complete them, I am still human and make mistakes have that occasional bad day but the good thing is tomorrow is a new day and I can start fresh... You just have to commit to the process and start walking the path...
Best of Luck to you on your Journey...
Ed0 -
"The reason that you are a fat ugly slob is that you keep stuffing your fat ugly face with carbohydrates! Cut ALL Sugars and Starches out of your diet, and you will start to lose body fat, on a daily basis. Just drink water. No cheat days, not ever.
You made yourself what you are. So, clearly you don't give a **** about yourself. That's a perfect reason for no one else to give a **** about you either. If you don't want to make yourself better, then no one else can do it for you. " - Anonymous Craigslist poster in a health forum
^^^No one will ever speak to you like that here.
Welcome and remember baby steps its not going to happen over night BUT it will happen if you don't give in. :flowerforyou:
xx0 -
Not much to say other than welcome. Get ready for the ride... it'll be the best and the worst you've ever experienced. :flowerforyou:
It can be done. You have to believe that it can, and you have to believe in yourself. But I see a spark of hope in your post - grab on to that spark and turn it into a fire.
Read, read, and read some more. These people, on this site, have the best advice I have ever seen.
Again, welcome :drinker:0 -
I can only agree with the comments from everyone else in this thread.
I came back on here at the start of the year, set my height and weight as it was and set it to "lose 2lb a week".
It came back with 1690 calories.
With the support of friends I have added on here, and by adding everything I eat and drink - I no longer feel silly asking for a skinny latte - I know what I am putting into my calories for the day and it seems to help me to not go over the top.
33lb lost since January 1st - possibly more as that was based on a starting weight when I first registered, not my weight on that day which was more - and hopefully more to go.
Small steps will win. Don't lose hope and ignore the haters - if you want to do this, you can (with a little help from your friends).0 -
I am a personal trainer and I have clients at around your weight. First I want to say that most of the people who are replying to you have no idea what daily life is like when you are at that weight. Simple things we take for granted are difficult at best. For the people who say you are just stuffing your face etc., "FORGET THEM!" They do not have a right to influence your mind. They are ignorant fools that think they know it all and they've NEVER walked one day in your shoes. The people who have walked in your shoes will never respond so brainlessly. They will encourage and commend you in these beginning stages because they know that getting started is the hardest part. Getting started lasts sometimes for the first year and that is a long time to keep going unless you have the support you need when you fall down. You will not be perfect 100% of the time but you don't need to be. You just have to get back up ever single brand new day and give it your best for that day. Consistently getting back on track will get you where you want to go. The goal is to keep increasing the length of your good day victories. NEVER give up. NEVER quite trying. NEVER! Just take it one day at a time and do your best that day. Forget yesterday and tomorrow. We don't have them. Yesterday is gone and we are not promised tomorrow. Now is the gift you have. Do your best NOW. Everyone has good intentions for tomorrow. That just allows today to be a depressing event that you regret and turns into tomorrow.
Your biggest struggle will be staying consistent. This requires discipline. You have to have a helper to do this. Find a great nutrition coach. They are hard to find. Many nutritionist know their nutrition very well but they are terrible coaches. That combination is hard to find but they are out there. You don't want someone who simply knows their foods. You need someone who both knows their food and genuinely cares about your success. They will do everything in their power to support, encourage, and cheer you on in bad and good days. When you find this person, don't let them go.
Then there is your part. It's up to you ultimately. Just make a decision and never regard your feelings. Quit living based on how you feel. Feelings are your enemy. Recognize your feelings and refuse to let them control you. Feelings are what derail most people. Feelings change, come, and go. They are not reliable, and they will not get us to do the things that we need so desperately
As a trainer and coach myself, I want to say, "This is a journey. This is a process. One day and one step at a time you will get there. Habits determine your destiny one at a time, bad or good. If you work on your habits consistently over time, you will change your life. Give yourself time, and enjoy the journey.".0 -
There's nothing I can really add to what has already been said but want to say welcome along, you've already taken the first step by being here and you can do it! Slowly but surely, one day at a time. There is loads of support here, make full use of it and welcome to your new lifestyle.0
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The reason you keep failing so often is because you expect too much of yourself. An unnecessary amount of demands, actually. If your expectation are too high, you will always fail. Set them lower, make them actually attainable.
^ This.
You have to lose a certain amount of weight, so this basically means you're going to need time. A lot of time. Which is a great thing in my opinion - you're going to change your life, that's a big deal, and it's not going to be easy or fast, but as long as you keep doing it, it's going to work. And it's going to be all worth it, starting from the 1st lb lost. You're only 32 and you've got all your life ahead. Start now, and you'll only get benefits from it, day after day. Losing weight is not easy and the more you have to lose, the harder it seems, but luckily if you do the right things it's going to work whether you are 150 or 400 lbs. Also don't be ashamed to ask for professional help if you need to - and always take care of your health first, since it's the most important thing while losing weight. Good luck!0 -
Welcome and good luck. There are some great stories and advice in this thread, and I hope you have found a couple of people that can help you with your journey. It's going to be hard and I am sure at times it's going to seem endless, but that's what the support is for. To remind you of the small victories that will one day put you at your goal. You can do this!!0
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Welcome. I agree with the posts also. We are all here to achieve the same goal and MFP works for me. Please add me as a friend.0
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Welcome!!
Your in the right place for support. Congratulations on starting your journey!! Just don't give up!!!! you will be fine :-)0 -
Sweet darling don't you worry. You'll be fine.
Firstly, I'd say don't get too worried about carbs, fats, proteins etc. Work out your daily intake. I used this site:
http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/#results
Just put your weight, age, etc in there, and see what it spits back at you.
Here comes the hard part: logging calories. it takes time, energy, thinking. When you are new you don't know how many calories something has. it takes ages looking them all up, adding them... but after a few weeks you start to get a body of things you always eat, so you don't have to go looking, they're in your favourites.
that's when life starts to get a bit easier.
As you log and as you weigh and as you lose it gets easier.
As to the depression: I'm going to be naughty now and tell you to get some buproprion from your doctor. It's a very slight upper, it's a great antidepressant (2nd line though, not the first they offer - but all the first ones they offer make you eat and sleep like a crazy person) and you can start to take a step away. It helps people with addictions, eg smoking addictions, and also might help you with the eating and depression you are suffering.
And just remember: you're like everybody else here.
there are skinny people, and fat people, and middle sized people, and you certainly won't be the biggest person here. you're among friends. Look after yourself.
^^^^^^ x10000000
You're among friends! We all are on various stages of our own journeys to self-improvement! Don't be afraid to ask questions, in the beginning. I stumbled along, and figured it out, but it's so much easier if you just get the help that you need. Once you get your favorite foods onto your food list (and you will by logging them), logging takes just seconds! I typically pre-log my entire day in less than five minutes. I do it either the night before, or the morning of.
I pre-log because I then know that I'm staying within my daily allowances, and I'm not going over. I made the mistake of eating something that I thought was "healthy", and was shocked after I added it, that it had two days worth of my salt intake! :O
Just hang in there, and don't give up! :flowerforyou:
I never thought that I could lose weight, but on MFP, I'm smaller than I was before my son was born...7 years ago. You'll get there, too!0 -
Sweet darling don't you worry. You'll be fine.
Firstly, I'd say don't get too worried about carbs, fats, proteins etc. Work out your daily intake. I used this site:
http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/#results
Just put your weight, age, etc in there, and see what it spits back at you.
Here comes the hard part: logging calories. it takes time, energy, thinking. When you are new you don't know how many calories something has. it takes ages looking them all up, adding them... but after a few weeks you start to get a body of things you always eat, so you don't have to go looking, they're in your favourites.
that's when life starts to get a bit easier.
As you log and as you weigh and as you lose it gets easier.
As to the depression: I'm going to be naughty now and tell you to get some buproprion from your doctor. It's a very slight upper, it's a great antidepressant (2nd line though, not the first they offer - but all the first ones they offer make you eat and sleep like a crazy person) and you can start to take a step away. It helps people with addictions, eg smoking addictions, and also might help you with the eating and depression you are suffering.
And just remember: you're like everybody else here. there are skinny people, and fat people, and middle sized people, and you certainly won't be the biggest person here. you're among friends. Look after yourself.
nothing i can say will be as important or spot on as what this poster said. I will for SURE send you a friend request and please try and remember, you are never alone, not here. We're all friends, we ALL have bad days and we all have good days. One baby step at a time!!0 -
Depression makes everything ten times harder.
I finally got on medication for depression and anxiety about six months ago. Six weeks ago I woke up and said that today's the day I'm going to start being healthier. When I finally went to the doctor six months ago, in addition to medication for depression, I also found out I was diabetic. Which.... was terrifying. It is so scary when you realize that your health is suffering because of your weight.
There's no quick fix. You're not going on a diet, so don't make yourself miserable. Every time I failed at losing weight, I remember thinking "Eugh I can't wait to start eating normally again" and only this time did I realize what a bad mistake that was.
I found foods I liked. I can't live without toast for breakfast, but instead of putting peanut butter on it and having fruit and scrambled eggs, I have low calorie bread with fake butter spray (I know that's probably not THE MOST HEALTHY choice but I can't eat it dry and it makes me happy so it works), greek yogurt (I never realized before this website how little protein I ate. Now I've fixed that and feel so much better) and poached egg whites (I got a toaster for mother's day that has a thing to cook eggs on the side and it is SO COOL)
And I found excercise I liked! I like running and walking and Zumba. I have a Zumba video game so I can play in my house where I don't make an idiot out of myself in front of other people (even though I want to go to a class some time I just cant justify spending the money right now). There's a game for my phone called Zombies Run (by Six to Start), which is the BEST THING EVER. Best five dollars I have ever spent. It uses your GPS to track you, and you don't have to actually run at all, but it plays a story about the zombie apocalypse and it's just way cool (and since being gay seemed important enough to mention- this is one of the most diverse cast of characters ever. Make sure you download Radio Abel, because after the missions, Jack and Eugine are hilarious. They'll keep you walking for another fifteen minutes easy.) If you're not into Zombies and feels and storylines, http://www.mapmyfitness.coms also pretty awesome, it is a great app that keeps track of your walks.
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/ Nerd Fitness is another website that helps me out a lot. A lot of times, a ton of information gets thrown at you, and Steve from Nerd Fitness really helps break stuff down, and encourages you to question everything and do your research, not just accept something as fact. He has a couple workouts that are great- the beginner body weight workout is ****ing HARD when you have like no strength whatsoever like me. But it got easier over the past few weeks
The fact that you're here, the fact that you're trying, it says a LOT. You can do this. You can change your lifestyle, little bits at a time, to level up your life. Don't expect too much out of yourself. One pound a week is AWESOME. You can do that. It's not even that hard. If you eat to maintain, and go for 4 two mile in 1.5 hour walks a week, that's a pound right there. If you eat at a deficit, that's even easier. (map my fitness also has a great walking calories burned calculator if you don't use the app)
There's not one way that works for everybody. Find your way.
Drink your water.0 -
Hi sweety.. Remember no one knows you as well as you do..
Play to your strengths... Look forward to one day at a time..
Last year I had lost 15 kgs in 6 months and then gained it all back.. Its always surprising and depressing how the weight comes on faster than you can blink.. No doubt I let myself go..
But here I am back to square one.. Going for it again..
Be strong.. Put in your calories everyday (as far as you can..).. Its ok to fall off the wagon once in a while..
Remember one day at a time!!!
Loads of luck0
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