Backhanded compliment ....
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I've really found so many people on here don't know so much about a lot of things. They think they do because they might have seen someone else on here say it. That in no way makes it knowledgeable or accurate. A lot of people are all the time completing their friends when they get close to their calorie goal---even if they don't eat healthy food. They say things like, "Good Job," "Good day, " "You did real well." It's just things people say over and over and over. It doesn't matter if the person is eating days full of all unhealthy foods, but stay close to their calorie goal. Compliments like that aren't helpful at all. They just encourage the bad eating person to continue on doing so. Maybe even the people that continually make these screwed up comments don't even know enough to appreciate a person eating a healthy food plan.
Then leave. What a useless, unhelpgul, and irrelevant comment. Well done. Oh, sorry. That wasn't a helpful complement.0 -
"You have such a pretty face" - a bunch of different people
"You are just a natural big-boned woman and that looks good on you" - family members trying to make me feel better about being overweight because everyone else in the family is overweight.
My whole childhood, I was told we were big-boned and it was okay to eat a plate full of junk food. In reality, there are no "big-boned" skeletons and junk food makes me fat!0 -
ETA: Take that back...my favorite was my doctor last year "You're blood work results are amazing...especially considering how fat you are" :huh:
I could accept that one. I don't want my Doc to sugar coat it.
The others? Not so much.
:laugh: Normally yes, but I had 24% BF at the time. :grumble: Then she changed my meds and my BF% went through the roof...0 -
Super hard.i got one once that was super. my weight has fluctuated over the years and i had someone whose know me for a while go "you were super hot when you were thin, are you hoping to get back to that with the diet and exercise youre doing now?"
that was so super.
I would punch that guy/girl. So hard.0 -
Mine: "You look like a high school kid!"
I don't think there's any malice in that, but I don't know what to make of it, given that my only kid graduated from high school five years ago.0 -
Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.
The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.
Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:
I comment on peoples' dress and accessories and hair and makeup because I know it probably makes them feel good. Do people regularly comment on others' physical appearance more than the stuff that changes every day?0 -
I hate it when people look at me and say, "You're so lucky. You must have good genes." It's a compliment, in that it acknowledges my fitness, but it's also kind of disrespectful. It totally dismisses my efforts, as if I did nothing to achieve it - it was just gifted to me. It also allows them to deny responsibility for their own fitness. It's not luck that I'm in good shape. It's work, perseverance and discipline, thank you very much. :grumble:0
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:You look great for having 3 kids" WTF! Why can't I just look great? Why must you say the having kids part? That pisses me off so much.
I have gotten this comment before numerous times. Like you said why can't I just look good without pointing out I had 3 kids? Some people don't have a voice in their head that tells them when to shut up before saying something rude or insensitive.0 -
I comment on peoples' dress and accessories and hair and makeup because I know it probably makes them feel good. Do people regularly comment on others' physical appearance more than the stuff that changes every day?
I do all the time. Friends, at least. Complete strangers more like sometimes - if they're wearing something fabulous. I've yet to have some random stranger not break into a grin when I compliment their knitted scarf (especially if they made it themselves), or amazing jacket.0 -
What backhanded compliment do you get all the time? Its like they mean well, but then it comes out wrong.. My favorite " wow, you're pretty for a big girl" .... really .. I can't be pretty for a girl...
Yeah, I've gotten that, alot :explode:0 -
I get "You're smart for a blonde!" Gee thanks! The worst one of heard happened to one of my best friends. She is totally gorgeous. She also happens to be a bigger girl. She was shopping with a now former friend, and she tried on a dress. Former friend said "Wow! That dress looks great on you! Imagine how good it would look if you were thinner!" If I were there, there would have been punches. Not generally violent, but my friend can be very self conscious about her weight. Also no one insults my friends!0
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"You dress well for your size..." - Do you really need to say "for your size..."? No.
"That's flattering." - Really? Not "Cute dress" or "You look nice"? Annoying.0 -
I've gotten this one a lot, especially when I was really heavy: "You're so pretty/beautiful/awesome.....to me". Like, seriously, no one else would think those things about me, just you?0
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"Your eyelashes are your best feature." Really??0
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I don't necessarily think this is backhanded, but I've been getting the "I barely recognized you- You look great!" comments and those seem to get my wheels turning a little... Like I looked terrible when you easily recognized me?
I'm not good with compliments in general. I'm awkward. They're awkward. Everything's just awkward.0 -
"You dress well for your size..." - Do you really need to say "for your size..."? No.
"That's flattering." - Really? Not "Cute dress" or "You look nice"? Annoying.
this ^^ --
"you've always dressed really well for your body type" ..... errrrrr
or
"you are actually really pretty" -- huh???
i have a baby face so ive gotten " you look like you are getting younger and younger by the day!" -- im a 26 year old (manager which is terrible when baby faced)... who looks about 19/200 -
I get that one also.0
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OH BOY, My worst was when I called the guard shack at work and tried to explain to the security guard who I was and he was like "Oooo YEAAAA, I know you ... You're the girl thats "fat fine" ... REALLY .. IM FAT FINE?!?!?!?
Ok, so I've always had big hips, boobs, & butt .. and yes It could be worst ... BUT FAT FINE !!!! Grrrrr!0 -
I comment on peoples' dress and accessories and hair and makeup because I know it probably makes them feel good. Do people regularly comment on others' physical appearance more than the stuff that changes every day?
I do all the time. Friends, at least. Complete strangers more like sometimes - if they're wearing something fabulous. I've yet to have some random stranger not break into a grin when I compliment their knitted scarf (especially if they made it themselves), or amazing jacket.
me too... I drive by compliment complete strangers- would definitely not be doing that about their figure.
Friends/coworkers- people I know/have met- I absolutely will do hair/face/makeup/nails/body compliments.
The world is full of negativity- saying one small nice thing could make their day- I know sometimes it makes mine. So I'm all about giving compliments- accessories or personage. Just depends on what's going on and how well I know them.
OP sorry for the backhanded compliment- that's so shoddy.
I hate when people attach stipulations to their compliment- just let the compliment be as it is. It was good enough to say randomly- so let it go.0 -
"You look like you're, like, 15." Estimated age ranges from 14-19. Usually followed up by, "Well, you'll be glad you look so young when you're older!"
People disrespect me a lot because they think I look like a high school aged kid. I had a waitress ask recently if I was "f**king with her" when I ordered a rum & coke. My favorite is when women flirt with my fiancé in front of me because they think he's my dad... :mad:0 -
hahaaha- you are good looking for a lesbian! hahaha - you shouldkick that person in the nuts I swear.
I got this one last week. I come into the office sweaty every day, I ride in. I am a recovering Highland Games athlete, so still pretty big.
anyhow- this lady that had apilate studio downstairs says-
"for as much as you sweat you should be alot smaller"
UM-- Most of my sweating has been done trying to get big!!!!0 -
The important thing to realize is that those "compliments" are really not compliments. They are veiled insults.0
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Well I was spared until today and I was asked if I'd lost 60 lbs... Gee thanks.
Oh and I got asked if I'm done losing yet. I mean why ask someone that. Weightloss for me is very personal and I don't share that at work...0 -
My favorite ones has always been "you carry your weight really well!". I never thought it was insulting until I lost weight and then thought back on it.
Runner up has always been "you have such a pretty face". So everything else is ugly?
Oh and let's not forget ... "don't drop any more weight, your looking too thin as it is". If I could just "drop" the weight believe me I would have dropped it all at once and no I'm not too thin, your just insecure and want me to stay fat so you can feel better about yourself.
If you really feel the need to comment on my weight a simple "you look great" or "I love how dedicated you are. It's inspiring" will do just fine thanks.0 -
My hands-down best ever: I was in a play and I'd had a pretty plum role that not a lot of directors might have given me due to my appearance. One night after rehearsal I thanked the director for the opportunity and he said:
"Yeah, there were 20 other women in the room I could have cast over you for looks, but I wanted someone with talent."
:huh:0 -
"You look so much better than you did!"0
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When I was a lot thinner I used to get complimented on everything. Now What I hear is " wow you have pretty eyes." And thats it... Or that I have a nice necklace
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last week when posting a pic on fb of a before/current, a coworker said to me 'wow you former cow'
I so understand this, when I posted a before and after photo someone commented "wow you look so much better now!" like gee thanks, I'm aware I needed to lsoe weight but I still looked fine. GAH Lol0 -
"Wow, you are tall!" (I'm 6-4 and 46 years old)
Typical replies to that one...
"Thanks, I picked tall parents."
"Really? it just happened last night."
"No, you are just really short."
"Wow, I was 5-8 yesterday! Thanks!"
"Am I? I never noticed!"
One I used to get a lot: "Are you still growing?"
"No I was born this height. My mom's vagina is WRECKED!"0 -
The one I really hate is when I buy a new dress or something, and my mom says "I love it, it's so slimming on you!".
Why is 'slimming' a compliment? Automatically it makes me feel like a blimp otherwise, and all the rest of my clothes are horrible on me. I would feel a lot better if people would just say "That's a nice dress and it looks great on you" rather than try to make me feel like it detracts from the fact I'm still overweight.
Edit: Another one I remembered... My mom told my brother I'm trying to be healthier and he says "That's good, I get concerned about her."
Um... Thanks.0
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